Warren

I sat holding my daughter on the ED floor bearing the worst news of my life but it was nothing more than I deserved. It should have been me who died, not her. She would never have been at St James's if it wasn't for me. If I had never phoned mom and asked for her help David would never have taken her. It was my fault and the guilt I found myself feeling was too much to live with. I had to live with it though; I couldn't leave Nita, not after I'd taken her mother from her. I wept not trying to hide any of the emotions I was feeling.

I was so confused. I'd been so angry at Kirsty all this time for always thinking she knew best and my opinion meant nothing. I've never spent the time to be happy with her and now she was gone and I never would be able to. She was a slut, she was. That's why she deserved everything she got. She cheated on me, with Adam. I thought that was true I would have bet my life on it. It seems I was wrong, he obviously fancy's her but if she'd have cheated he would have seen what was going on, not just found out this morning from some nosey nurse. Had she been faithful to me this whole time?

It made me feel worse. Now I couldn't justify to myself why everything had happened. There was no reason. Nita pulled away from me. She hadn't cried.

"This is all your fault. You did this to her, how could you do it. She's never done anything."

"Nita that's enough. This isn't your dad's fault. I know it's hard but you can't blame him he's all you've got left." I didn't even look to see who had spoke. How long had she known? She knew which meant that she hated me. I'd lost everything and it wouldn't be long until she told everyone the truth. She didn't have her mum to loss now, she was angry and hurting, she was going to make me pay. She knew it was my fault. She knew more than I thought she did maybe even for years. Why had Kirsty not protected her more? I bet she told her just to get one over on me. Rage filled me. How could Kirsty care so little about our daughter? Why would she want her to know what had been going on? So that she would like her more than she liked me. Nita's always been and daddy's girl and even if she has known for ages she has still been one. Maybe she didn't realise how much she loved Kirsty until now just like me.

People were staring at me wondering what I was going to do next. I was still sat looking up at Nita.

"Baby, please." I stood moving towards my daughter knowing that anything I did now would never make up for what I'd done.

Adam

She was strong, she'd fought to get away there was no way she was giving up now, so there was no way I was giving up now.

"Charging three sixty, stand clear," and she jumped the pulse shooting though her but there was still nothing. Tess had left, Emily had left, Zoe had left, everyone had left until it was only Jay and I left fighting to bring her back to us.

"Adam, it's been too long. We have to stop, she's gone." Jay had given up too.

"No, no she's not just one more time. She's not going to leave us. She fought; she fought to get away from him, to get to us. She wants to live, we can't give up."

"One last time that is it."

It didn't work. She did not come back to us. Her body jumped; then she lay still. The monitors let out the usual droning, continuous bleep showing no change in her heart beat. Jay checked her pulse and shook his head solemnly.

"I'm sorry. We all tried Adam; there was nothing more we could do." He spoke sadly with all of his hope gone. I bent down my face hovering just centimetres above hers and I whispered.

"I love you," I then kissed her forehead not caring who was looking. I drew back, hit the button on the defibrillator and shocked her one last time.

Beep, beep, beep, beep. I stared in shock at the screen. Her heart was beating. (you didn't actually think I would kill her did you)

"She's back," I said to Jay and reeled of a list of tests which needed to be done. I didn't stop to think that everybody apart from Jay and I thought she was dead; we just busied our self making sure she would stay with us and she seemed to be. I was so relieved. I actually felt a weight lift off my chest. She came back to me.

Jay

I couldn't believe it when I heard the beeping sound of Kirsty's heart monitor. I thought that I wanted to hear it to beep so badly that my mind was playing a very cruel trick on me but Adam heard it as well. It took us a second to believe that it had actually happened before we jumped into action.

"Need some help in here," I called joyously though the doors. I smiled as I saw the faces turn from grief to the understanding that she was still with us. Soon Kirsty's bedside was jam-packed with everyone trying to work together to make sure we didn't loss her again.

Several hours later Kirsty was stable, most people had gone home to get some much needed sleep but some of us couldn't bring our selves to leave. I was one of them. Kirsty was still unconscious and Warren and Nita hadn't left her bed side, they had also been joined by Warren's mother. I couldn't imagine Kirsty and her getting on, she was just too snooty to be Kirsty's type of person and Nita didn't seem to get on with her either. Nita reminded me so much of Kirsty, she was just at stubborn and strong. I'd been told by Emily how she had impressively held in her tears after finding out about her mum. She obviously shared her mum's trait of not letting people see her cry, show weakness or vulnerability.

I watched over the family from the doorway. She'd scared the hell out of us today and everyone was going to be watching her carefully for a while and I knew she would hate it. To say it was difficult to come to terms with the fact she was being abused right under our noses and we didn't notice was an understatement. It was hard to believe that it had ever happened to her. She always bounced into work smiling and joking leaving no hints of the torment she was going though and it seems like she did the same thing at home.

I'd dropped the ball just like everybody else. Last week when she had come into work looking dreadful I'd tried to get her to open up to me, I suspected something was wrong but I'd been caught up in a busy shift and forgotten to go back and ask her about it. She had disappeared for the rest of the shift I wasn't surprised I just thought she had come to her senses and gone home but later I saw Adam helping her though the ED and into his car. She looked worst now and could barely stand on her own. I'd completely forgotten about it by the next time I saw her.

I feel so guilty for not following her making sure she was ok. Maybe I could have gotten her to open up to me and she wouldn't have had to go to St James's today.

"Penny for your thoughts." I turned to see Emily standing on the other side of the doorway looking up at me with her amazing sea blue eyes.

"I missed this. I might have been able to make her open up to me a week ago." I said guiltily.

"No way, I've been trying for months. She was determined to make sure nobody ever found out. Stop being so hard on yourself, you saved her life today, that's enough for now. If you really feel that guilty then you could always spend your life inventing a time machine," she smiled playfully at me waiting for my reaction.

"That's a great idea I'll just go and get started." Her smile widened showing her white teeth. I smiled back not able to look away from her captivating smile. She then glanced over to Kirsty and her smile faded.

"Hey, come here." I said stepping towards her and wrapping her up in my arms. She laid her head on my chest and I breathed in the smell of her hair, coconut. We stayed in that position for a while before we pulled apart.

"Coffee?" I questioned.

"That would be lovely," and we walked of in the direction of the staffroom.

Adam

Kirsty was moved up to a ward some time during the early morning. After that I could find no reason to stick around so I headed home. I'd been home just over an hour and I'd already phoned the hospital twice to check on her. She was stable and doing well. Now that I was sure she was ok I crawled under the covers of my bed. It had never been more comfortable and I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

I was jolted awake by the sound of my doorbell ringing.

"Just coming," I shouted hauling myself out of bed.

I opened the front door and was astonished to see who was stood in front of me.

"Jess," was all I managed to say.

"Hey, I tried phoning but there was no answer." I had no answer for her. She had left me and now she was stood on my door step after one of the worst days of my life with a wary smile on her face. It soon faded as I stood staring at her and didn't gesture for her to come in.

"You going to invite me in?" I stood aside with out a word and she walked though into the kitchen.

Kirsty's alive yayayayay. It's not very realistic but my evilness wouldn't work if it was! Warren's gone WAY out of character compared to the show but I wanted people to see the good side of him, the side that loves Kirsty, as well and the frothing at the mouth mental one.

I added the Warren bit for Dudeybob because I wanted to show that he was feeling guilt but he also realises how much he loved her and that he doesn't want to loss her.

Sararah- hope you like it he brought her back! I really couldn't kill her, she really does need to be with Adam.

Hannah louise16x- thank you for all the info on Jess. I'm glad you felt sorry for Warren. It's what I was going for even though he's drowning in self pity in this chapter. I really don't know how Adam will react when seeing Jess I'm just going to see what comes to me at the time!

Lisa95- sorry I love Kirsty too much to kill her off in my fic hopefully it's still heating up.

If you want to give me any pointers they would be greatly received. Next chapter Jess returns!