"Half Blood Harry Potter"
By Loki Palmer
Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Percy Jackson and all related demigods (with the exception of Loki) belong to Rick Riordan.
DZ2: A humorous idea, old friend, but giving our Troll Brained demigod son of Lord Baby Eater such powers like turning back time could risk rupture of the space time continuum … LOL. I can see how a similar idea would go great on a blooper reel for this fanfic (such as Moody taking several hilarious turns at turning Ron and Draco into different animals) …
Sean Malloy-1: Yes, Ginny is the demigod daughter of Aphrodite.
WhiteElfElder: Well, Kronos and Voldemort wanted him to return … and where would we be without our favorite punching bag and spell target?
Archdruid89: I tend to imply that giggity is going to take place, or imply that it has taken place. Besides, writing a good sex scene is bloody difficult … and this is rated T, after all.
Chapter 34
Professor Moody winked at the three demigods. "Constant vigilance, lads. Don't turn your back on an enemy, whatever you do."
As he lumbered back to his office, Hermione, Annabeth and Thalia arrived on the scene. "Okay," said Hermione, "the three of you are grinning like you have planned the world's greatest prank –"
"– Or something else hilarious happened here," said Annabeth.
"Would you care to tell us what it was?" said Thalia.
"I don't think I could say it," said Harry.
"Nor could I," said Loki. "Percy, would you do the honors?"
"Sure, Loki. You see, ladies, I came up to Cedric to give him the news about the dragons – Harry and Loki came along as backup – then Malfoy teased me, saying he made a bet with Ron about how long we would last in the Tournament, so I insulted them. We turned to go, and they must have raised their wands to curse us in the back, when Professor Moody transfigured them into a couple animals –"
"– A white ferret and a red weasel," said Loki. "Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley: the Mighty Mustelids!" At Percy's confused look, he said, "These would be members of the scientific family Mustelidae, which include ferrets and weasels." He cleared his throat and sang: [to the tune of "Mighty Mouse and Friends"]
"Here we come to save the day!
The Mighty Mustelids are on the way!"
Hermione was the first to crack in laughter, followed by Annabeth and Thalia, then Harry, Percy, and Loki joined in the laugh as the six of them walked to the Black Lake.
~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~
"So, Percy, I don't see why facing a dragon should frighten you," said Loki.
"Aren't the both of you frightened?"
Harry and Loki looked at each other. "We would be fools if we were not," said Harry.
"Courage is a bizarre contradiction: you have a fierce determination to live, but if Death is coming for you, you are ready to face Him at the same time. Tell me, Seaweed Brain: what are dragons most famous for exhaling?"
"Fire."
"And, what, pray tell, is the opposite of fire?"
Percy's eyes lit up as if a light bulb turned on above his head. "Water. You are saying I could kill a dragon?"
"Kill a dragon?" said Annabeth. "That is barbaric!"
"We do not know if we will have to kill the dragon yet," said Harry.
"You can kill anything if you know its weaknesses," said Loki. "When St. George killed the dragon that threatened the princess, Annabeth, was that barbaric?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"It threatened to eat the princess. However, my point remains: if you have to kill a dragon for a crowd's entertainment, it is as barbaric a bloodsport as the Colosseum of Rome! Whatever did a dragon do to us to warrant its execution?"
"Nothing," said Percy, "although Harry is right; we do not know if we have to kill it."
"All the same, Seaweed Brain, dragons can be deadly. Hermione and Thalia may not show it as much, but we are scared for you three."
"I have Harry and Loki as my backup, Annabeth; I will be fine."
"Six dragons facing off against six Champions in one arena at the same time?" said Loki. "I believe, rather, it will be one dragon and one Champion at a time."
"Oh. So that means … training?"
"DING DING DING DING DING! Tell him what he's won, Harry!"
"Percy Jackson, you have won yourself a session of hard dragon training with Loki, the scariest Creepshow on this side of the Styx! Nice knowing you, Plankton Breath; I am moving out of the blast radius."
Blast radius? What blast radius?
Percy saw a fireball heading straight for him.
Oh, Styx …
He dodged it.
"Good start, Percy. Keep on the move, whatever you do. It's harder to hit a moving target."
Loki kept shooting fireballs and Percy kept dodging them.
"Now for the other part of your strategy, Seaweed Brain: defense."
"I thought dodging was a good start," said Percy as he dodged another fireball. "You said so yourself."
"It is if the dragon is shooting fireballs at you, but it can fire in a continuous burst of flame like a flamethrower. In that case, what would you do?"
Percy summoned up a wall of water from the Black Lake as Loki fired a continuous blast of flame at him …
~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~
"Seldom has it been that We have been together in a friendly environment," said Zeus as the Big Three walked into the audience.
"Even if it is something so accursed as this blasted Triwizard Tournament," said Poseidon.
"What the satirist Juvenal said in ancient Rome remains true today," said Hades. "The people want their bread and circuses. I daresay Our sons will mop the floor with the competition."
"All the same," said Poseidon, "I know We will breathe a sigh of relief when they have finished this Tournament in one piece."
~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~
Within the Tent of Champions adjacent to the arena, the sextet of demigods was relaxing with the other Champions when a camera flashed. Since the camera flash caught Harry and Loki in mid-snog with their wives – and Percy in mid-hug with Annabeth – Loki threw out his hammer and blasted the camera to smithereens. To the photographer's misfortune, the explosion collapsed him with camera shrapnel in his face.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
Loki hoisted him to his feet. "I would take those words back, if I were you. My mother was a saint, you Peeping Tom paparazzo prick! You're vultures, the whole lot of you!"
Rita Skeeter came inside. "What have you done to my photographer?"
"He surprised us with his camera flash, and Loki smashed his camera," said Harry. "Loki, release him!"
Loki did so. "Consider yourself lucky … now, you should get out of here … you and Miss Skeeter."
"Attacking a photographer and smashing his instrument," said Rita, "well, I have never heard of such barbaric treatment of the press before in my life!"
"Is zat so?" said Fleur. "Considering ze merde your newspaper publishes, I would zink you would accustom yourself to ze 'atred of ze people whose lives you ruin in spreading your gossip."
"Considering who Fleur's Mother is, Miss Skeeter," said Hermione, "you had better not insult her, or she can hit you with a face to match your spiteful personality."
"I am a reporter, and who are you? A know-it-all Mud –"
Whatever else Rita was going to say, nobody knows, for three shots hit her simultaneously: a lightning bolt from Harry, a fireball from Fleur, and a powerful Jinx from Hermione. When the smoke cleared, the reporter's frizzy hair stuck out on end and her face had scales of gray all over.
"You should go to a mediwizard and let him check you out," said Hermione with a grin. "You look awful ..."
"THIS WON'T BE THE LAST YOU SEE OF ME!" said Rita as she grabbed her photographer and left in a huff.
"On the contrary," said Hermione when Rita had gone, "it is the last we will see of her … given the Jinx I fired at her."
"Hermione," said Loki, "that Jinx – is it what I think it is?"
"You introduced us to the television series Game of Thrones, as well as to the books on which it is based … what do you think?"
Loki grinned and applauded her. "Bloody brilliant and scary of you."
Author's Note: Another fun chapter done. Read and review!
Smiles and laughter,
Loki Palmer