Chapter 14: The Sound Of Rain

"I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."

-- Roy Croft

Authors Note: Listen to the song "Someone Special" by Poets Of The Fall. That song inspired this shortish chapter xD

Enjoy :]


As I ran and cried, I argued and yelled at myself. How could I be so stupid to let this happen? First Adam, then Alex. It's like deaths cruel game for not passing over right away. The sun was high in the sky but storm clouds were heading over, nice. Mother Nature also wanted to throw in her part make me feel better. A frustrated scream escaped my lips and I covered my ears. I was going insane with all of this just coming down onto me. Then I remembered Cornelius and Dustin. They didn't deserve to be deserted just like that, they didn't cause any harm to me. Plus I threw the keys away so no one would be able to get Alex out. I could go back for them, besides, they needed my help didn't they? I was about to go back when I decided not to. I remembered that they both knew about this and they could have told me. I screamed once more and flew to my knees. I could feel the tears come and begin to flow down my cheeks. I rested my head upon my knees and began to think of everything that has happened in the past few days. There was so much to think about.

The sun was still shining and the rain clouds hadn't come yet. It was as if time had slowed everything down to the point where it would stop. I continued to rest my head upon my knees and distant thoughts buzzed around in my mind. How could I not have put it all together? The reason he knew so much about why we became infected, knew about the bomb. And the moment he saved me too. I let him close, too close. I let him in my damned undead life and this is how I was paid? It made me angry, it made me sick! Adam was no better, I knew that one from the beginning. Even my mother knew that too! I remember the way she used to tell me to watch out for his flirtatious tricks. She'd say it in her angel-harp voice

"Lou sweetie, watch out for that Adam boy. He could turn out to be like your father."

A mother always knew what was best for her children and I growled quietly because of it. If she was so smart, why did she let my father get away with it? Again the tears hard started to flow. She was so torn apart when he left her, but she swore not to cry. Only an hour later she broke into tears on the couch. I was too little to do anything but she thanked me for staying by her side the whole time through it. It tore me to bits to see the woman that I idolized crushed by someone who didn't care about her. I was there for her, and she wasn't here for me? I needed my mother and she couldn't come for me? I clawed at the ground in anger and hatred. How could she be so selfish? My screams were nothing more but muffled grunts upon my legs. Then I heard the crashing sound of the thunder. It caused me to sit straight up and scan the area. In my quiet voice, I whispered

"I know it's not your fault mum…but I wish you were here…"

The realization of me being the one who was selfish only caused the tears to flood out of my eyes. I always blamed the person I loved for the reason why I was angry, even if they had nothing to do with it. I couldn't explain it, but I just did. When my dad left, I blamed my mom for causing it. I was so angry at her that I didn't want to talk to her. But when I saw her break down, that feeling deserted me and left me with feeling bad. The silent raindrops masked that though. My long brown hair was getting messy and tangled but I didn't care, no one would see me in this state anyway. I set my claws upon my lap and I examined my hands. They were dirty and demonic, maybe this image suited me. I was just a monster who was selfish and cruel, only thinking about my wants and needs and blaming others for why I hurt. I thought back to Alex, and felt a little bad for leaving him there. I could have let him out. And when I told him to die, that was a little extreme. But that's what I did when I was angry, blamed others for something they never intended or caused. The tears stopped, and I looked up to the sky. The scent of the rain felt so nice and refreshing, something that I hadn't known for a while. I closed my eyes and said to myself

"I love you mom…I'm sorry for being so angry with you…"

The silence was mocking me for my childishness. If my two best friends were here, Tess and Rachelle, we'd try to make each other feel better with the stupidest of things. Thinking of them made a lump in my throat. They were probably with my mom, watching all of this and watching me act like a child. I needed them, and I needed my mom here to help me get through this. I needed their advice and opinions about this. I simply needed their strength. I remembered my mother's favorite quote from her favorite song, Someone Special, and how it always made her feel better. It went

"In the rain, hold my head and ease my pain, In a world that's gone insane."

I thought about it for a second and realized how it went with me oddly. It made me laugh a bit and shake my head slightly. Paige was always like that, had a strange quote or phrase to go with anything. Everyone I knew was always the person to see the world as a glass half full rather than half empty. I admired them for that. I was in between and could never make up my mind. I always worked on a whim, but lately, it hasn't been that way. I wished life could go back to being carefree and fun. I wished that I could have my best friends back and the way life went, but of course without Adam. I sighed and brought my knees up to my chest to think more.

I dragged my fingers in the dirt, rather mud, that wad under me and made strange designs as I was lost in thought. I was still angry at Alex and tried hard not to think of him. I wondered what my friends would have thought about him and the others. What they could have been if they became "special" infected like me. I figured they both would have liked Alex and got along with Dustin, cracking wise-ass jokes together, and tag-teaming poor Cornelius to the point where he'd wish for death. They were the life of the party, always have been. They were probably running around Heaven and annoying the poor angels together. I wished I could have been there. My thoughts rushed elsewhere though, thinking of that would have brought more tears to my eyes. As I continued to make my strange designs, I heard something getting closer. I stopped my designing, all my thoughts deserted me, and I was left with the sound of the rain, lightning, and thunder. The only sound that was left was my breathing. What was this thing behind me?