Chapter 15: Haunting Me

"I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."

-- Roy Croft

I came to find myself staring at a rather large figure. I titled my head to the side slightly and put my hand above my eyes so it would shield them from the rain. I squinted and made out the figure more. It was Dustin. I stared at him, he stared at me and it was silent for the longest time. Then I questioned him

"Dustin, why are you here?"

"Quite frankly, I couldn't find Cornelius and I listened to yours and Alex's conversation." He responded quite calmly. I, on the other hand, didn't take it so well. i hated when people listened to my conversations with someone else. I glared at him and he simply stared right to me. I then asked

"You didn't let Alex out, did you?"

"Maybe, maybe not, depends." He said with a small smile.

"I swear Dustin…" I growled quietly. I did not want Alex set free.

"It wasn't his fau-"

"What do you know Dustin! You don't know what he did! You don't know how it feels!" I got to my feet and screamed at him. The rain continued to come down hard and I stood there glaring at him. The anger practically rolled off of me and he simply stared at me. He shook his head and laughed a little. It wasn't the usual hearty one he had. It was distant and quiet, something that wasn't Dustin. I eased a little and cocked my head at him. He looked towards me and asked

"Lucretia, I do know how you feel. I know how he feels."

"What do you mean?" I questioned a second later. I stared at him and he looked away. It fell silent for a few minutes and I noticed him taking in a deep breath. He then looked at me and began to explain

"How would you feel if you were the protector of your little sister then having to put her out of her misery?"

"I…I don't know." I responded quietly. The rain continued to pour as we stood in silence. A feeling of gloom washed over me. Once again I had been feeling sorry for myself. I sighed heavily and I whispered

"I'm sorry Dustin…I didn't know…"

"No one knew." He responded "Don't feel bad. She's somewhere better now…"

"How did it happen?" I questioned. My curiosity got the best of me and I realized this. I stared at him and began my apologies

"No! You don't have to answer! I didn't mean to ask, I'm sor-"

"No, it's ok. I'd probably do the same to you." He responded with a soft smile. I was relieved that he was a nice guy and didn't get mad at stupid mistakes. He looked up towards the gray skies and began

"Well, it was during the beginning of the infection. My parents had passed and it was just my sister and I left. Being her big brother and all, I had to watch out for her."

"How old was she?" I asked in a death whisper voice

"Eight." He said just as quiet. I felt the tension in my throat and thought about Dustin and his baby sister. It must have been horrible. I stayed silent so he could continue

"As we were hiding, she strayed from me and was on her own. I didn't realize this until I heard her scream. I found her…" He said and trailed off. I couldn't imagine the images he witnessed. It must have been horrible and gruesome. Once again, I felt the tension in my throat but it was accompanied by sorrow and tears. Why was I crying? I had no right to. He had the loss and he wasn't crying but I cried over it. I managed to choke out

"I-I'm…s-sorry"

"It's alright…like I said, she's in a better place now…"

"No, it's not alright. I simply can't imagine what you went through yet I cry? That's…wrong…" I raised my voice a little. He didn't move, he didn't breathe, he just stood there. I couldn't make his facial expression out due to the rain, tears and simply my eyes, but I sensed he felt sad.

"It's not wrong Ell, at least you feel something. You still have emotion left." He said, as well as giving me a new nickname. I looked up to him and he added

"At least you have some humane left in you."

"How can I be humane when I left Alex to die?" I said and fell to my knees in the mud "How can you say that?" I shrieked a little and felt my dead heart rip in half. I rested my head upon my knees and put a clawed hand over my heart. Dustin quietly laughed and said

"See Lucretia, you love him and you feel bad for leaving him. You care." He said. The sudden realization took me by surprise. Yes, I did feel bad for leaving him, but caring about him? I looked up to Dustin and he gave me a soft smile. I sat in the mud and my jeans were getting all dirty as it did. The sudden lightning strike caught me off guard and Dustin laughed at me. I looked at him and he said

"Come Ell, lets go somewhere to hide from all of this rain."

"May I ask you something first?" I suddenly said

"Sure, I'm all ears." He said and gave me a hand up.

"I have two questions actually…" I said and looked away "One being…was it hard to…put your sister out of her misery?" That was an awful way to put it, and a silly question at that. I caught his eye and he answered

"It was…Even though she annoyed me, it bothered me greatly. But I accepted that she was somewhere with my parents…"

"Do you feel that being infected as such was your punishment?" I question

"I do…" He said

"I know how you feel…" I said to him

"And your other question?" Dustin said as if changing the subject

"Do you think he's safe?"

"Of course, I didn't let him out of the cage."

"Wait, so you lied to me?" I asked

"Well, how else was I supposed to make you realize?" He said and began to walk away for a place to stay. I guess he was right. It opened my eyes to what I had done and feelings that I had suppressed. I took in a deep breath and crossed my arms across my chest. I followed closely behind Dustin and looked towards the ground. The rain suddenly got harder as we found somewhere to stay and wait for it to pass. I then said

"We're going to get him and Cornelius, right?"

"Yeah, we are."

"And take out Gibbs?"

"Damn straight."