IS THIS REAL LIFE?
Chapter Three
"England? You want me to go to England?" Cartman questioned, deadpan.
"Well...yeah. It's the safest place for you." Sarah replied, equally as bland.
"Plus I have some friends over there who can help you out, so you'll know how to act in the real world." Kenni assured him.
"Awh man!" Kyle began to bounce in his seat. "We're going to England!"
Nervous smiles were creeping over the boys' faces.
"Right girls!" Nadine quickly took charge again, rolling up the map and stuffing it away. She stood, hands on hips, and the others obediently lined up before her.
"Mary!" She barked. "Butters has packed?"
"All his clothes, his toothbrush, his savings and..." Mary darted a quick glance Butters' way before mouthing the words 'teddy bear' in Nadine's direction. Nadine nodded and moved along the line. "Lizzie?"
"Kyle has..." Lizzie began, taking a deep breath. "His clothes, some shoes, underwear, socks, diary, pens, pencils, scetchbooks, one photo album and his trusty toothbrush. Oh, and some product he uses to tame his hair."
Kyle blushed. Cartman snickered.
"Good." Nadine nodded. "Kenni? Anything Kenny wanted to bring?"
"Kenny's got his...um...his..." Kenni looked uncomfortable, and leaned foreward to whisper 'Mysterion costume' in Nadine's ear. "And that's all." She said out loud. Kenny nodded at her approvingly.
Sarah began her speech before Nadine could say her name, reeling off the items in a bored voice that was a perfect imitation of Eric's. "P.J's, clothes, toothbrush, money, and Clyde Frog. Never forget Clyde Frog!"
"Killer." Nadine mimicked Cartman also. Then, dropping the accent, she listed: "I got money, toothbrush, clothes, diary, photo album, and a confiscated mobile phone." The girls nodded knowingly and then shook their heads at Stan.
"What?" Stan asked exasperated.
"They'll track you dumbass."
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KYLE'S P.O.V
My lungs were about to give out from all the running but I managed to hold out. Rather than concentrate on the burning in my legs, I recalled the closing notes on the plan.
"We'll be pretending to be you for the next two weeks. The confrontation with your parents has already been wiped off the tapes, thanks to a Craig wannabe we have stationed in the offices." Kenni winked at the others. "In the meantime, you wil be getting the fuck out."
We had all memorized the stations of the cameras, and the route we were to take. Everything was going to plan and we were already sprinting down the East Road out of town.
Now, I run track, but running down that road? That was torture. Our varying degrees of fitness were shown in their true light that day.
Kenny was way, way in front, Butters just managing to remain his shadow. I had seen Kenni take Butters aside and point to Kenny before we departed, and ever since Butters had been following him around like a bodyguard. Which was ridiculous because Butters is way small and Kenny is enormous for his age, a fact his is quite proud of.
Next up is me, about five meters or so behind, which I find very dissapointing. How could someone like Kenny be faster than a track runner, nevermind a shrimp like Butters? Admittedly I wasn't much taller than Butters myself, but come on! Track!
Looking behind me, I could see Stan. We were almost neck and neck. That wasn't so bad. Stan was involved in many sports, including soccer and baseball, both of which involved having to run, and be fit. Way, way, way in the distance could be seen...a blob. A blob that was shouting profanities our way between heaving breaths.
"Dude, maybe we should slow down. For Cartman." I said. This was extremly thoughtful of me considering the fact I was supposed to despise Cartman with every fibre of my being. But I guess something in me (The Goth in me, you might say) didn't want to conform to the stereotype I had given myself being on T.V for God knows how long.
"Maybe you're right..." Stan agreed, slowing down a little. I think his agreement had more to do with how exhausted he was, rather than kindness towards our big friend, because when he eventually came to a stop, he keeled over, right there in the middle of the East Road.
Cartman eventually caught up to us. What we forgot about, however, was the fact that Kenny and Butters were still running.
"Keeeeeeeeeeeeennyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Stan yelled from the floor, realizing at the same time that I did that we shouldn't be separated. Then he coughed and wheezed a little and buried his face in the dust.
Cartman sat next to him. He reached into the red duffel he was carrying and gulped water from the red flask.
"You know, we really should have thanked the girls for being more organised." I reminded them breathlessly, sitting on Stan's other side. The figures of Kenny and Butters appeared over a dip in the road, walking back to us.
I myself pulled my green flask out of my green bag. Not that it was hard to guess, but I smiled at the fact that Lizzie knew my favourite colour.
"Do you think..." I asked, as Kenny and Butters passed out at our sides. "That me and Lizzie will get together?"
"Dude, the girl wants you and she wants you bad." Cartman stated. And he wasn't wrong. I expected that at that very minute Lizzie was zipping around my room and touching all the things I had left behind. I was so glad I'd shoved my diary into my duffel.
I blushed, remembering how callously Lizzie had announced I had a diary. But then Nadine had gone on to say the same about Stan. So maybe it wasn't so embarrassing in front of my super-best-friend, who must have been keeping secrets of his own.
"You could have her if you wanted to, man." Stan told me. I nodded in agreement and lay down. We were in an odd circle, lying there looking up at the pulsing sun. It bore down on us intensely, and sitting there wasn't going to do us much good.
Kenny seemed to be thinking the same thing. "We should get going again."
"Y-Yeah, fellers." Butters was quick to agree. "Mary s-said we shouldn't stop at all."
"Yeah, yeah." Cartman said condescendingly, but he pulled himself up all the same. Probably because Sarah had said something along the same lines to him.
We all pulled ourselves up, groaning as we did so, and continued.
I thought the city was a mirage when I eventually saw it.
"It's huge..." I breathed, taking it all in. But we didn't have time to explore. Our plane left in two hours, and we still had to get through security...
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KENNY'S P.O.V
I stared out of the window at the black clouds below me and thought about nothing. The lights were off, but it wasn't like I could sleep. I was terrified of flying.
Of course, now I was in the air, I was okay. But occassionally, the thought of a crash would overwhelm me and I'd have to cling to something. The last few times, this something had been Butters, asleep beside me.
Butters looked so cute when he was sleeping. His little mouth was hanging open a little and on occasion he would murmur something random and writhe a little. Beside him, Eric was sleeping not-so-adorably. He snored like a pig, but like I said, the rest of the passengers were sleeping.
Stan and Kyle were in front of us. Stan was in the window seat, directly in front of me. I could see his reflection. His forehead was pressed against the window,his chin resting in his hand. Between the seats, Kyle's fluffy ginger hair was exposed, and you could tell his head was resting on Stan's shoulder.
I sighed, huffing a little. Turning, I rested my chin on Butters' head and closed my eyes. It was going to be a long night if I didn't at leased try to sleep.