Kirsty
Warren thrust me backwards onto our bed pouncing on top of me a fraction of a second later as my body was forced into his by the rebound of the bed. He groaned at the second's worth of pleasure as I sank back into the mattress wanting desperately for it to swallow me. It didn't and I wriggled trying desperately to get out from underneath him. I used both of my hands pushing franticly at his chest hoping that I could get him off me and make a run for the door but he didn't seem to notice my efforts. I looked across at the bedroom door, it was open and I looked out into the hall. Gathering all the strength I could, I shoved him as hard as I could and made an attempt to move from underneath him. My attempt failed and he grabbed me, his hands were clamping around my wrists and he moved them roughly above my head. He held them tightly above my head pushing them backward into the mattress making my shoulders crying in pain.
For a couple of seconds he glared at me. I lay frozen as he held my eyes in his, daring me to beg or call out for help. His breathing was heavy in excitement; I was surprised not to smell alcohol on his breath. He would always have a drink before we came up stairs, but not today. Today it hadn't started down stairs; it hadn't started with kicks and punches and accusations. He hadn't had to drag me upstairs by my hair. Today was different but there was something different about him. Something more than how it had started but I couldn't put my finger on it. He was on top of me, his body weight bearing down on me. Danger glinted in his eyes; his leering grin taunting me telling me there's nothing I could do to stop him. This was nothing new but it was completely different and new at the same time. Then it struck me like a pile of bricks, he hadn't been drinking and somehow it made everything so different. He wasn't fumbling around; he knew exactly what he was doing. His movements were strong, powerful and precise.
I'd lost track of the last time I'd eaten, I'd felt weak running up the stairs, so I knew I didn't have the strength to put up a decent fight. My eyes welled with tears as I waited for him to take what he wanted. My eyes clouded before the tears fell over my cheeks and into my hair line. He started grinding his hips against mine, still looking me straight in the eye.
"Please," I whispered. It was almost inaudible but he'd heard it. He stopped instantly releasing my sore wrists. I could see the anger in him before he spoke.
"So we can talk," he spat, the anger he showed frightening me making me shake underneath him. Rage took over him and he grabbed my arms again pulling them higher, both of them burning with pain. The cast doing nothing to support my arm now and the burn was still tender to touch. I'd lie to him and ignored him and now he knew. I tried to turn my head not daring to look into his eyes any longer and ignore the burning pain coming from my shoulders, arms and wrists but all I could do was stiff back the sobs. Why had I spoken? Now he knew I could speak, he knew that I'd been ignoring him and everybody else for over a week, now I would pay for it. He'd been harbouring his anger, and the rough, vicious movements he was making showed every bit of it.
He'd removed most of my clothes, and his with little effort. I was panting for breath, the little amount of resistance I put up draining most of the energy out of me. I'd never been this exhausted before and never dreamed of not putting up much of a fight but I simply couldn't. My arms felt heavy and even when he released my wrists they felt like they had extra weights attached to them. Still I fought against him with everything I had landing blows anywhere I could on him but he didn't even flinch. I gave up not having the strength to carry on. He'd never been this aggressive with me before, biting, pulling, pushing and all I could do was lie there feeling everything but trying to feel nothing. I was breaking on the inside. I don't know why I held out hope of him changing, he proves that he will never change again and again but still I don't want to believe it. I've know deep down that he never will; but to actually admit to myself that I know he won't change felt like I'd just been handed a death sentence. I tried to block it out just like I tried to block out every single second of what he had already done to me. I lay there trying to think of anything apart from what was happening to me, about how I was powerless to stop it.
We had to get out. I couldn't carry on living like this. It was going to stop. I'd promised Nita that it would. I'd promised Nita that I would be there. I was meant to meet her. What would she think of me now that I hadn't turned up? I couldn't tell her why. I never wanted anyone to know what he was doing to me and now our daughter knew part of it. I'd promised myself that she would never find out, that I would always protect her from it. She should never have had to know. I should have walked away before she did. But it was all too late now; I'd fail, she knew and now I had to find a way to fix what had become of our lives. The only problem was I had no clue where to start. We were going to run but he'd found me before I got the chance to even get clothes in a bag. What was Kathy going to do now that I'd shown Warren that I'd been fine this whole time? What was Kathy going to do full stop? I still hadn't been able to come up with a reason, however far fetched, as to why Kathy was so hell bent on keeping me quiet. It made no sense, what benefit could she possible get out of all this. She scared me more than Warren. I dreaded Warren and Nita leaving the house. I hated being alone with her and especially after she showed her true colours to me the other day, now I know where Warren gets it from. I don't know what she's going to do next. Warren cunning and scheming but Kathy is on a whole other level. I'm sure Warren doesn't even know what she's up to.
Thud, I gasped for breath, warren knocked the wind out of me as he pushed me of the bed and onto the floor, landing heavily on top of me. Waves of pain washed over my back as it took the force of the fall. I was dazed for a minuet or too as my vision blurred along with the rest of my senses. They returned slowly and I immediately wish they hadn't. I wanted to feel numb, I wanted everything to fade way. Anything was better than what was happening to me right now.
He was finished. He stood towering over me, looking down at me. I felt as worthless as his look told me I was.
"Get dressed." He snarled at me throwing my shirt at me. I made no attempt to catch it. I just lay still scared that any move I made would be punished.
"Now." He bent over me and snatched a hand full of hair pulling me to my feet. I grabbed at his hands trying to get him to release me. He launched me into the chest of draws and I slid into a heap on the floor at the bottom of it. Too exhausted to even attempt to move I let my body sag in the same position not even aware of where Warren was.
I woke in the same position coming to the conclusion that I must have blacked out. I glanced cautiously around the room looking for signs that I was not alone. I was and I pulled my self upright using the chest of draws to steady myself. I pulled on my long sleeved and long legged clothes as quickly as my aching body would allow refusing to look at the new bruises that were appearing on my body. Once I was dressed I stood in our bedroom wondering what I should do with myself. Should I return to my spot on the sofa or should I start cooking dinner? I wasn't sure but first I had to pluck up the courage to leave the bedroom.
I took a deep breath and pushed on the door handle slowly telling myself that I was being stupid for being so scared of leaving a room. I creped slowly down stairs looking around waiting for someone to jump out at me, nobody did. I was alone. I returned to the sofa pulling my knees up to my chest. They would be home soon and I had to act like the last two days had never happened. Now they all knew I could talk but nobody knew that anybody else knew. I was just waiting for them all to return and to see how everything would unravel in font of me.
Sorry this has taken me so long to write and upload. Thank you for reading, it would be great to hear what you think.