IS THIS REAL LIFE?
Chapter Five
Erics P.O.V
I'd been lying on my bed, covered in the tin foil off my chocolate, when it came to me that I hadn't had a drink in about...twelve hours?
Anyway, when it hit me, I was thirsty. Reaaaal thirsty.
My bedroom was nearest the living room. Across the living room was the little kitchen. I didn't have to worry about waking anyone up (Not that I cared anyway...Which was probably why the girls had put me there...), so there was no reason for what I did next.
I grabbed my camera first. Who wouldn't?
I turned it on when I was in the hallway. A night time tour of our new home would make a great video.
The hallway was only small. One door on one side led into the living room. The other three doors were the bedrooms, on the other side. The far door was the bathroom.
I opened the door to Kyle and Stan's room. My camera was on night-vision, so everything on screen was tinted green.
I didn't need to go any further into the room than I already was. Instead, I just zoomed in on Kyle's sleeping face. His mouth hung open. I think he was drooling. It glistened in the green tinted moonlight.
I held back a giggle when I realized that he and Stan were spooning. Kyle (Who was always kind of girly) was in the front, with Stan's arms wrapped around him protectively. I wondered if they had fallen asleep like that, or if it just happened. I filmed it anyway, knowing how people back home would see it.
I closed the door again quietly.
Next, Butters and Kenny's room. I shuffled around the door to get a shot of Butters' lego model. He was in the process of making a house. I didn't do anything to it. Not in the mood.
Both of them were under the blankets. I would have moved them to see what they were up to, but I wasn't up to bothering them and having shit tomorrow. So I backed out.
I got a quick sweep of the living room. Three little sofas gathered around a small TV. Then I was in the kitchen.
I raided the fridge. There was so much soda in there! I drank a can at the little round table. I was dissapointed. Not really good footage. Of course, I did have Stan and Kyle spooning, but that wasn't much. Kenny was such a horny fuck, he was probably molesting Butters at that moment.
When I was done, I went back to my room and collapsed in bed. After saying goodnight to Sarah (a.k.a: My camera), I turned it off, brushed away most of the tin foil, and went to sleep.
Butters' P.O.V
"You sure you don't want to come, Butters?" Asked Megan, standing in the doorway. In the tiny hall outside all my friends were crammed.
"Nah, I-I'll stay here. Kenny can show me around some other time." I suggested. Kenny nodded at me.
"Okay, see ya!" Abbie yelled, slamming the door shut.
I wasn't afraid. The apartment-the girls called it a 'flat'-was small, cosy, and comforting. Much better than back home.
I switched on the old computer in the corner of the living room and sat in front of it. The other guys seemed to be more interested in using their fame to get girls, but I was more interested in finding out about the show.
I was still sitting in front of the computer when the guys got back. I had my little notebook open in front of me, but I snapped it shut when the door opened. I stabbed at the button and the computer shut off.
"What you doing, Butters?" Stan asked innocently.
"N-nuthin...I just got bored, is all."
"Cool." Stan made his way to the kitchen and grabbed some chips.
I ran back to my room to hide my notebook. I would share what I'd found with Kenny before we went to sleep. Like the night before, we would go under the blankets and talk, until I fell asleep. Kenny said he'd wait so I wouldn't get scared.
When I got back, the guys were sitting around the table, eating various snacks. I joined them, sitting up on the counter and biting into an apple out of the fruit bowl.
My phone began to buzz in my pocket.
"He-Hello?"
"Hey, Butters, honey. Do me a favour and put me on speaker. Are all the guys there?"
"Yeah, they're here." I told her, placing my phone in the centre of the table so everyone could hear.
"Great. Hi guys!" Kenni said, a little louder.
"Hey." They greeted her. They all leaned forewards a little, eager to speak with her.
"SO, good news!"
"What is it?" Kyle inquired.
"I got your money transferred to your bank accounts over there. I've already sent you a letter with all the details. You're allowed to spend it on whatever you like. But you have to remember to save for groceries, clothes, and rent. That shouldn't be a problem, considering the amount you get. But don't let yourself get behind on anything. And do not-DO NOT!-buy another house, or fancy cars, or ANY cars. Got it?"
"Why not?" Eric groaned.
"Because!" Came an exasperated voice from across the sea. Sarah. "Then people will guess who you are. Your shape, Kyle's Jew-fro, Kenny's-oof!" It sounded like someone had elbowed Sarah in the ribs. Wonder why?
"Kenny's parka, which we know he'll never leave behind." Kenni finished for her.
"How much do we get anyway?" Kenny asked. I smiled sympathetically. His eyes were shining. I knew Kenny didn't have much money, never had. That I knew of.
Kenni giggled. The sound was muffled. She must have been wearing her own parka.
"Ten thousand. A month. Pounds."
"Pounds?" Eric asked. Stan and Kyle slapped their hands to their foreheads.
"That's the currency there, baby." Sarah explained.
"Okay, I'm gona go now...Butters?" Kenni signalled.
I took the phone back off the counter and put it to my ear. "Yeah?"
"Has Kenny been in any trouble yet?"
I moved to our room from the kitchen and lay on my bed. "No, h-he's been good. He's really happy about the money thing, you can tell. A-and he's been looking at those photos you gave him a lot."
Kenni giggled. "Killer. Mind if I talk to him?"
"S-sure." I called Kenny in and left him and Kenni to talk.
Cartmans P.O.V
I really wanted the phone. I wanted to talk to Sarah, to tell her I was making a video for her. She'd like that.
I got out of the kitchen and stood outside Kenny's door. I could hear him talking. I got my camera, and set it to record mode.
"Oh, yeah, that's my favourite." Kenny was murmuring. "Definately want you to wear those for me. Or not. Oh,okay. Yeah, I'll take care of him. Talk to you later."
I hussled away as Kenny opened the door. He left, Stan came in. Stan didn't close his bedroom door.
"Hey, Nadine. Yeah, I know. No, I don't mind...Why Clyde, though? True. Can I...? Really? You don't mind? Well, I guess that's true."
Silence. Damn, I wish I knew what she was saying. It sounded like they were breaking up.
"Just making out though. I still...want you. Well, thanks. You're the best. Yeah, I'll see you soon. Kyle? Sure."
I had to listen to Kyle's sparse conversation with Lizzie (I think it was mostly just her screaming) before it was my turn. I snatched the phone out of Kyle's hands and retreated to my room.
"Hey, baby!" Sarah giggled.
"Hey! Listen, I'm making a video for you. About life here. I'll send it over sometime. Good stuff."
"Wow, that's sweet, Eric."
"So what were the other guys talking about?"
"Not much. Stan and Kyle got permission to make out with girls when Liz and Naddie aren't around, mostly because Liz and Naddie want to make out with Tweek and Clyde."
"Do...uh...Do you want to make out with someone?"
"Do you count yourself in that?" Sarah laughed awkwardly. "If you want to see other girls, that's fine."
"No! No, it's not that...I just didn't want you to feel like you couldn't make out with other famous guys."
"There's only one famous guy for me, babe."
"Awesome. Hey, don't phone calls cost a whole lot from over there?"
"Oh, yeah, no, that's okay. We reversed charges."
Then she hung up.
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Just realized nothing happened in this chapter. But I reckon next chapter we discover Butters has read up some REAL interesting stuff on the show ;) see you then