Chapter XVII: The deception of doubt

I felt uneasy. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but something was off. Sure, we had succeeded so far. But I felt as if it was all going a bit too well. This mission had the potential to turn into A-class, something that hadn't slipped my mind ever since Kakashi had whispered it into my ear.
For a moment I had question him, wondering why he wanted us to go. We weren't short on people or anything, but our team was the best candidate, he had said.

Our hard work was being put on the test.

I halt. The boy standing next to me, while the two girls are up ahead. It takes them a minute to stop.
'Something wrong?' the loud girl asked. I hear her get hushed by both of her teammates.
'S-sorry!' I hear her stammer.

I search the scene. I see nothing out of the ordinary. Just endless amounts of trees and the ruffling of the wind to put one further on edge. I swallow. The cold chilling breeze makes me shiver.
'Sakura-sensei,' the boy starts. 'Shouldn't we get going?'
I slightly nod, feeling a bit uncertain.
'You said it was urgent…' he then adds. His dark eyes stare at me questionably.

I nod with more certainty now. Yes, the medicine was urgent, we needed to pick up the pace and keep going. After all, the sooner we got back, the better.

'Come on,' I simply say and start running again. The girls move on and the boy follows, just behind me. I cast him a look over my shoulder. Though he doesn't move a muscle, he understands he needs to stay extra alert.

Whoever it was, was about to make his move.

Not entirely surprised, I see a figure appear before the girls. They halt, drawing out their weapons of choice. I tighten my fists.

'Hand it over!'

Seven men to take out a couple of kids? I quirk up an eyebrow. Whoever gave out the order, didn't make the mistake to underestimate us.

'Come get it!' The loud girl boldly states.

Attacking head on, I tell the girls to be careful and not underestimate them. I manage to fight three of them off by myself but get distracted when I hear a scream. One of the girls is hurt.
'I'd worry about the poison in your blood more than about that little scratch,' the man who inflicted the wound hissed at her. I can see her panicking.
'Stay calm,' I yell out. I want to turn around and help but find myself stuck between the two remaining men. I take note my other student has taken care of two them quite easily. I smirk at her. We make quite the team since we both are very good at using our fists. In a flash, and with some teamwork, we take them out as well.

She then immediately runs over to tend her teammate. Though they bicker quite a bit and are each others opposites, they care deeply for on another. I've seen them grow into becoming close friends.

'I got it, Sakura-sensei!' the girl yells while she gets out a needle to take care of the poison.
The other girl looks around alarmed. 'Where is he?' she screams at me while her teammates gives her an antidote.
'Auch!' she then hisses at the girl, who rolls her eyes in response.

I look behind me and take note the boy is gone and curse. 'Stay put!' I say to the two and take off.

He couldn't have gone too far. I knew the boy was talented enough to figure out there would be an eight guy to attack us from the back, I just had thought he could handle him without getting into too much trouble.

I wouldn't forgive myself if anything ever happened to him.

I yell out his name. My heart beating rapidly. I feel as if the forest has gotten darker and more grim.
I suddenly sense an eerie presence and I repeatedly yell out the boy's name. No response.

'Where are you?' I hiss angrily, mostly at myself. I jump down from the high trees in search for footsteps. They seem to be missing. He couldn't have just disappear into thin air! I then take note of some plants and grass that has been flattened. It looked like a path. I raise my eyebrows at the sight, not quite sure why anyone would feel the need to such a thing. This forest wasn't a place one could live.

When I see something slitter in the darkness, I halt again, realizing this isn't a path. Nor that it was made by a human.

Jumping up at a quick speed I race to see the slithering body disappear further into the darkness.

It stops and I pass by it, hearing the snake talk.

'You remind me a lot of someone,' he hissed with a grin. I see him snatch the medicine out of the boy's hand. I bite my lip when I realize how we've been seen through.

I guess our pretense of me having the medicine didn't work but then again, you are no ordinary person.

'I think we've been here before,' he laughs. His head makes an unnatural turn towards me. I'm startled but only for a second. I straighten my posture and come out of the bushes I had been hiding in.

'Orochimaru.' I send him a glare, disliking how he's holding the rather lifeless body of the boy. I can tell he's hurt and fought this monstrous man the best he could. He's barely conscious but was holding on, his one eye staring at me while the other was too bruised to open. When I see him tremble and catch the fear in his eye, an overwhelming feeling hits me. A feeling of great worry and care.

At the same time I get hurled back into the past. When it was Sasuke he was holding on to. And then Naruto came to save us both…

I swallow when reminding myself it was just me this time. No one could save him but me.

'Let go of him,' I say on low tone. 'Now.'

'So tell me, dear,' he hisses, not immediately letting the boy go. His snakelike body disappears and he slowly reveals his human form. His despicable tongue slitters out his mouth briefly. He laughs loudly when seeing my repulsed expression. I almost take a small step back when he walks towards me, in his hand still holding the boy at his throat.

'How is your darkness? Still consuming you?'

I hear delight in his voice. My surroundings become a blur and for a moment I lock on to his piercing yellow eyes. The pleasure he has in seeing me squirm under his gaze, widens his smirk. He lets the boy drop on the ground. I hear his body collapse with the ground but I stand frozen on the spot, unable to move a muscle.

'Still wondering what can be?' His hissing voice gets under my skin. 'Something perhaps to ease the pain…?'

Pain? I have no pain… ?

I feel my hands tremble.

'What are you talking about?' I bite out, trying to take control of the situation again.

'You've tried but to no avail…' I've never seen him so close. I widen my eyes when I feel his breath on my cheek, wondering what on earth he was doing. '…you crave for more,' he finishes with a hiss.

'…more?' I echo, feeling myself go slightly weak.

'To create… I can help you if you help me,' he goes on. His cold hand grabbing my chin. 'All you have to do is leave everything.'

I stare at him questionable, wondering what he was offering me. Feeling myself think about it like I had done last time…

'A being to love you unconditionally.'

I feel emotions run havoc inside my mind and body. Feeling my breath stagger and my hands tremble even more. I haven't been this weak since… since last time.

Insecurity was still feasting upon me, making me question every question. No matter how much I turn it around, there were certain things I could not deny its existence of. Feelings inside of me I could not fight.

I can't help but to think back to the night I had with Sasuke.

My strange attraction to Kakashi.

My inexcusable weaknesses to keep letting myself fall in this endless pit of obscurity…

I close my eyes, hoping to block out his manipulative tongue but all it does is making me feel aware of how my mind is spinning. I feel nauseated by it.

'I could use your knowledge,' he hissed in my ear. 'Let you have what you truly want.'
'And what would that be?' I hear my voice crack which makes me open my eyes again. I then realize I'm letting him get too close to me, his mouth is touching my ear.

'You don't see it, do you?' he asks. I could hear him smirk. 'To be a mother.'

'A-a mother?' I ask confused.

'To love them inexcusably, unconditionally… like they would love you.'

I pull my head away from him and gape at him for a moment.

'I could use someone like you,' he then says. His voice is starting to sound like a soft, caressing whisper. Telling me endlessly what I need to hear.

I'm such an easy prey for a predator like you, I think senselessly to myself. I feel myself fall. As if I'm in a daze.

'You get what you want…'

It almost sounds like a promise.

I consider it. A taunting voice tells me, no matter what I do or say or how much I want things to be different, it is all too complex. Something cannot be undone. Somethings cannot be unsaid.

I think of Sasuke's control over me. Our love-hate relationship that only seemed to grow more complex as we aged.
I take a deep breath of air when thinking of Kakashi, feeling my insides tingle when merely thinking of him. Of things that could never be.

People that meant so much to me yet at the same time were sometimes so far removed from me.

'Come with me.'

A command yet asked as plea.

Why was I falling so easily? …because of what he was saying?

'S-Sakura-sensei!'

The boy's voice snaps me out of my haze. I widen my eyes when I see him looking at me.

He still looked so scared.

'Whatever he says, please don't listen…'

I take a step back, away from the man. Orochimaru's amuse fades and his expression turns cold. His eyes wary on mine. He seems to be aware that the spell is broken.

I think of the first time I met him and how much he had scared me. Sasuke was back then probably scared too but I only realize that now. I squint my eyes at the sight, seeing the boy depend on me. There was no-one to save him but me.

Scowling at myself for letting the words of a serpent get to me, I take another step back.

I stare at his yellow eyes.

I was never your prey. You only search for those with doubt in their hearts because it makes them so easy to deceive.

I won't let you have it your way again.

'I'm not letting you have anything,' I coldly state.

Not me. Not the boy. Not even the medicine lying several meters from us, that you for some reason decided to drop.

I made a decision months ago that I can no longer dwell on myself. That I have others to take care of now.

And, yes. Sometimes I would still catch myself dwelling on certain matters but…

'I'm already loved,' I tell him. 'Just like everyone else, it's just too bad you don't see that.'

'Don't make me laugh,' he merely hisses back.

I summon all of my chakra to my right hand. I can't believe I let myself fall so easily. I then block the doubt in my own heart. The time has come to do it differently. These kids… they give me more than I could ever ask for. Not just love or friendship. The feeling of importance, of being a central person in someone's life. Something I have never felt before.

So I'll be damned if I let them down.

I charge. My feet barely touching the ground at the speed I was going. My fist collapses with his face and I see his demonic features disfigure. The force throws him back and he flies through several trees. It stays deadly quiet after the destructive mess I created.

'And stay down,' I yell while gasping for air. I used more chakra then I normally would've.

But I don't just see him as a mere enemy. Perhaps I see him as the loathsome demon that quietly started all the chaos I found myself in.

I kneel down next to my student and put his arm around my neck. His grateful smile makes my heart flutter and I give him a small smile back. I whisper that we need to get out. He grabs the medicine and nods. I jump up and recruit the rest of our team.

The girls bicker about who gets to help him carry, while the boy gives me a bored look.

I have to halt for a moment, wiping the sweat of my brow. We need to take a break. Though he pulls up a tough act, I can tell the boy is exhausted too. So are the girls.

'But we need to keep going…' he mumbles back as he tiredly collapses to my side.

'We can spare a few hours of rest…' I look at other two. 'We all could use some sleep.'

'Not here,' he then notes. 'Out in the open.'

I nod, thinking of what to do. I warily turn around when I feel a presence coming toward us. I grab a kunai and wait for the person to appear. Orochimaru hadn't dared to follow. Though I doubted he could get up after that punch. But of course that didn't mean he couldn't send his men after us. I glared at the incoming intruder.

I prepare myself, telling the girls to get behind me and help get the boy up.

I can see his yellow eyes in the distance. He coming right at me. I'm honestly shocked he send him.

'Mitsuki,' I grit my teeth in anger. I hate how he plays games like this. I don't want to fight this boy.

As his feet hit the ground before us, he immediately lifts his hands, baring he held no weapons or intentions to harm us. I stare at him in confusion and honestly didn't know what to do for a moment.
This kid was not older then my students. Not a muscle in my body had the intention of ever hurting him.

If I could spare him, I would.

'Please don't, Sakura.'

I warily listen to what he has to say, using as few words as I could. I didn't want him to manipulate my emotions with his innocent façade. Sasuke had told me he had returned to Orochimaru so…

'Leave.' I simply say.

'I don't work for him,' he immediately argues back. 'I know Sasuke said so but it was a trick. I needed to go back to… take care of some things.' He seemed uncomfortable to share that information. His young eyes looked still innocent but I could see hurt in them. He had matured since the last time we spoke.

'Why should I trust you?' I simply state.
He shrugs, uncertain of how to answer that question. For some reason, he does come off rather sincere.

'How did you find us?' I then ask.

'I keep track of what he does. I knew he was planning on getting that medicine, not to use it though…'

'He wants the elder to die…' Sakura muttered understanding Orochimaru's motive only now. Though he claimed he would no longer pose a threat towards Konoha, he never hid his resentment towards our leaders.

'How is he aware of such a personal situation…?' I ask myself, the elder was ill because of genetic inheritable disease, not poison or any threat caused by enemies.

'He still has spies everywhere. I can tell you who it is.'

I look up, lifting an eyebrow at him. He sure made it sound easy but I had no reason to believe him.

'I have hideout not too far from here,' he then states looking at the three kids behind me.

'And walk into a deathtrap?' one of the girls shrieked. I glance at her, nodding in agreement. I give Mitsuki a hard look but he seems unfazed.

'Sasuke is there,' he then nonchalantly adds.

'Nice try,' I laugh and turn around.

'He is there…' he repeats. 'You have to believe me.'

'Why would I do that?' I snap, having enough of people playing with my thoughts and emotions.

'Because I'm not… evil,' he swallows when saying that. His eyes look watery, as if he could cry any moment. I try to take a distance and simply turn around, signaling the others we indeed could not take a break. We needed to leave, as quick as possible.

'I know what he said,' he yells at me. 'Orochimaru,' he clarifies. 'I remembered what you said to him that night and… I am who I am because of you.'

I halt again, startled I turn back around. The girls are confused but the boy is listening intently to every word.

'You said you knew your worth and you didn't need him to tell you… I've thought about that so much.'
My mouth slightly hangs open in disbelief, I thought he was unconscious back then, remembering the night quite well. It still haunted me from time to time. And I never thought I came off as brave back then.
But he sure made it sound that way.

'You just told him no,' he continued, obviously finding the word powerful.
'You said you didn't want anything he offered… You said no to his promises of power and… I-I never thought I would meet a person like you. I thought everybody craved the same thing. That everybody was just hungry and people like him could only feed us...'

'Mitsuki,' I say and shake my head in disbelief.

'I don't want him to create any more… things like me.'

'You're not a thing,' I immediately argue back, hating how he was belittling himself.

'I am,' he said nodding with certainty, making it obvious my words would have no influence. 'But I know who I am and what I am. I've come to know my worth on this earth… I'm here to stop him. That is why I've been created.'

'Don't talk like that,' I mutter softly, unable to say more meaningful words. I'm a bit taken back by his speech. His aura has changed, becoming more fierce and less soft-spoken. I had obviously unleashed something inside of him and I was in shock my words had meant so much to him.

'I'm certain Orochimaru was actually just looking for you… Trying to make you fall for it again,' he said. I see his yellow eyes flash from mine to the boy behind me, making me aware that the situation I had found myself earlier in had been a recreation from the past in order to make me waver and fall to his will.

That vile serpent.

'I think he thinks you're the key to Sasuke, to the Sharingan…'

I look up in shock.

I'm so sick of this.

'I'm not the key to anything.'

'I know,' he simply answers as if he knows exactly what I am talking about.

'No, you don't,' I dreary answer him. I let out a sigh, not knowing what to do. We could use the rest... Mitsuki appeared trustworthy but my mind was in deep doubt, afraid I would lead these kids into further danger.

Mitstuki suddenly bowed deep. 'You healed me and I am still very grateful for that. Just please let me return the favor by helping you now.'

I walked towards him, bowing myself so only he could hear me.

'Why would I believe anything you say?' I whisper to him.

'The deception of doubt can be crude but you showed me how to defy the feeling…' His yellow eyes looked up into mine. 'I never forgot you, Sakura,' he whispered back.
He gave me the same endearing smile he had given me when we had parted. I remember thinking of him having a much more colder persona but now he was so respectful and kind towards me.

Had I done that to him?

I straighten up. 'Why is Sasuke at your hideout?'

'He needed my help and I needed his.'

This chapter ended up being a lot longer than I had thought… Hope you enjoyed it, leave a comment/review with your thoughts!