Chapter 22: Cuts Like A Knife

"I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."

-- Roy Croft

I didn't want to look, even if I could. But I had to sooner or later, and I tricked myself into looking. The moment I saw, I wanted to look away, runaway, or something to get away. The rain dripped lightly around me and it didn't hide my tears that well. I was on my knees when I saw Adams body just lying there. It was so, lifeless. I blinked a few times and took in a deep breath, then crawled to him. I wanted to touch him and run away from it all. I always ran away from a problem, big or small, that's what I did. But this, this was too out of hand for me that I stayed. I looked at his lifeless eyes and saw the scarlet from his body mix with the mud and rain. I choked on my tears and words as I said

"A-Adam? S-sweetie, please s-speak t-to m-me…A-Adam?"

There wasn't any response, just the sound of rain that fell all around me.

"Adam?" I whispered "N-no, d-don't leave me..."

Again, there was no response and it broke my heart. I then remembered Alex, but I didn't want to look up. I felt him come closer to me but I didn't pay attention to him. I ignored him. I didn't want to give any attention to someone who had killed another. I touched Adams body and the water flowed from my eyes. He may have been a bad boyfriend, but he was a good person at heart. The word heart reminded me of the necklace he had given me, and how I threw it away. I instantly regretted it. I clenched my fists in anger and thought about it. Alex came even closer to me and I didn't want that. I didn't want him anywhere near me, but he persisted anyway. I surprised myself by suddenly saying

"Leave me alone."

He didn't move, nor did he say anything. The silence was cruel and I began to cry again. I just wanted to be alone to say goodbye is all, and he didn't understand that. Instead, he came closer to me in which he was practically sitting on me. At first, I didn't move and stayed still like a statue. A few minutes later, I gave in and sobbed loudly. I held onto Alex, and he held onto me. He may not have been the Alex I used to know and love, but for this brief moment, I needed him. Between tears and gasping for air, I said

"All h-he wanted t-to d-do, was p-protect me…th-that's all h-he wanted, t-to do…"

In the back of my mind, I could almost hear the music playing but it was the words that counted. For a brief moment, I said

"Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in. Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within…" Yet again, another one of my mother's favorites. She had a thing for Poets Of The Fall, she would always listen to them. If I could recall, that particular song was named Sleep. Quietly, I added

"Good night Adam…good night…" Silently, I let go of Alex and gave Adam on last hug before we would depart for good. I wrapped my arms around him the best I could and rested my head on his body. I closed my eyes and imagined him waking up, fine and healthy, and giving me a hug. For a moment, just a moment, I believed myself. But I reopened my eyes and see nothing but the dead figure of Adam and the rain. Before I began to cry more, I got up slowly and added

"Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in and carry you over to a new morning."

If I only had some flowers, it would make it a little easier to say goodbye. Before I could do any more damage to my heart, I left. I took in a deep breath and began to make my way towards Cornelius and Dustin. My head hung heavy, just as my feet and heart did but it was alright. No one was going to see me anyway, so why not? Behind me though, I could hear the quiet footsteps of another following me. I stopped but didn't turn around; I had a pretty good idea as to who it was. A few seconds later, I said

"Alex, please leave…"

As usual, no response and it killed me. Telling him to leave hurt, but when I got no response back, it hurt even more. I sighed heavily then continued to walk. Just like before, the quiet footsteps followed me and I did the same thing. Stop and think of something to say. Then I said

"There's nothing here for you, please go."

This time I turned around to face my companion. He was on his feet and hands like he was a dog or something. I brows furrowed and I grunted lightly. Why wasn't he listening? I glared at him through angry tears and rain then just continued to walk. I picked up my pace, and so did he. Suddenly, I turned around and yelled

"Alex, for the last time! Go away!"

It was tense after that and he just stared at me. It made me even angrier and all I wanted to do was scream. That's all I ever wanted to do now, was just scream everything away. Maybe I was fit to be a Banshee. I then noticed Alex getting closer but I picked up something and threw it at him. I missed him by only a few inches and he growled lowly at me. I dared him to do something but he didn't. He slowly began to back up and seconds later, he bolted for the trees. I watched him runaway and I simply glared at him. I turned around and headed back for Cornelius and Dustin. I could feel the warmth run down my cheeks as I did.