The flight home had been long. Despite being in first class, which helped them but did little for the other passengers glaring at them, it was a long flight. Kate couldn't blame Christopher for his cries. Afterall, if her ears hurt when they changed altitudes she could only imagine how it felt for an infant. She looked to Castle every now and then to catch him staring at her with a wide smile on his face.
She'd offered to take the baby because she had the window seat and they thought there would be less of a chance for flailing little arms to be struck by a cart, flight attendants or other passengers.
She was terrified when she first held the boy, which was while they waited to board their plane. Castle was struggling to find his boarding pass and nonchalantly handed him over, "can you take him for a sec?" he said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
What Kate didn't know was that he knew exactly where his boarding pass was. He could tell that she was nervous, as she would eye the baby with a mixture of pity, curiosity and trepidation. So, he decided to play it off as if it were no big deal at all, not giving her much time to think about it. Soon she had him in her arms. Christopher looked at her, blinking but not taking his gaze from her face. He seemed fixated on her.
Soon Kate relaxed to the idea of holding the baby, rubbing circles on his back and smiling at him. When she began to speak to him softly his gaze became even wider. "That's it," Rick spoke, "he must be my son."
"What do you mean?" Kate inquired.
"Well, he's smitten with you. That seems to be a Castle man trait." He grinned at her and was awarded with a similar smile and a kiss. When Rick offered to take the baby back Kate felt slightly disappointed. She let him go back to his dad though, as the baby was coming home with them permanently.
There would be plenty of time to hold him. Although she was still very much uncomfortable with the idea of raising this baby, namely because she didn't feel up to the task, didn't feel qualified for the task, in that moment she felt herself warm to the boy.
On the flight home the baby wailed in Kate's arms, as she tried to soothe him with calming words and soft sounds. The cries lasted for about 30 minutes after takeoff, and resumed as the decent into LaGuardia began. It struck her as odd that she was now the one that everyone else was glaring at. Not too long ago Kate would have been glaring at the screaming child on the plane, and now the child was with her. She took a deep breath as the thought set in.
Before they'd checked out of the hotel, Rick and Kate stopped by a local department store to pick up a few necessities. A plastic bag filled with a few diapers, a bear, his bottle, some formula and his blanket were all that the boy had in foster care. They didn't buy too much because they would be traveling, but a collapsible stroller, a sturdy diaper bag, wipes and powder, a pacifier, and a giraffe toy of some sort that Castle had insisted on finding for the teething boy were purchased.
Once they were back at the hotel Kate packed for the both of them while the baby played with his giraffe toy on the floor, and Castle spoke with his mother on the phone. He updated her on the situation and informed her that they would be coming home with one more member of the family.
As she listened to him talking with his mother Kate silently wondered how he was taking all of this. 48 hours ago he had one child and another on the way, with many months to prepare for the addition. Now he had a 6 month old son that he didn't know existed. For as shell shocked as she felt, she could only imagine what was going through his head.
He never let his nerves show though. Castle never yelled or screamed, he never threw things or cursed the woman who had denied him knowledge of his child. He was a father, and that meant putting his own emotions aside so that what was right could be done for his child. Right now the child needed love and stability more than anything else.
Martha agreed that while they made the journey home she would do her best to make the spare bedroom usable for Christopher. It started with calling Ryan and Esposito to come over and move furniture around to accommodate a crib. They'd given her permission to fill them in, but requested that she not tell Alexis until they were home. She would be at the loft, with her family and in the boy's presence when the news was broken. Castle didn't want her to find out over the phone.
Having been the mother of a baby boy, Martha took great pleasure in identifying items as the boys took her shopping. They loaded them up and came away with three essentials for the time being, a crib, a small changing table and a diaper genie. Ryan claimed that the last purchase was something that his own sister swore by. She'd also arranged for a storage space and had movers come to take the spare bed from the room in order to make room for the baby's furniture.
When Rick and Kate arrived home they were met by all three adults, who were eager to meet the newest surprise addition to the Castle clan. The curly haired boy was doted upon by his grandmother, who didn't try to hide the tears in her eyes. Kate was happy to see it, but was once again filled with doubt over the place of their unborn child.
She knew that it wasn't rational, but what if their baby was born with some sort of deformity? What if he or she had a mental handicap or couldn't see or hear? How could a child with so many deficits compete with the normal and healthy, adorable child in front of her? Once again Kate was taken in by a fear of the possibilities that could occur with their unborn child. She silently wondered if this baby was a sign from the universe that the one she carried was not going to live. She shuttered at the illogical thought.
Do I actually resent Christopher? Kate questioned herself, feeling somewhat terrified that she could possibly harbor negative feelings towards a helpless child who had just lost his mother. The mere thought of her resenting the baby made her feel sick to her stomach. It made her want to hold him and sooth him. I guess I don't, she reasoned in response to the rush of protective emotions she felt. So where is this coming from? She wondered.
As if reading her insecurities about everything, Castle moved behind her and wrapped his hands around her waist, bringing them both to rest on her baby bump. He whispered into her ear, "You are going to be a great mom, no matter how many children we have."
She turned to face him and smiled, grateful that he knew her well enough to calm her anxieties without her having to speak. He then added, "and I can't wait to meet this one." He rubbed her belly again. "They will be siblings and playmates." Kate smiled at that. She hadn't considered that the children would have each other; they would be just a year and a couple months apart. She smiled at the thought of it.
The next morning, Martha volunteered to watch her newest grandchild while Rick and Kate did some extra shopping. They loved the furniture she'd picked out, a white crib with sky blue skirting, with a changing table to match. However, there were still many supplies needed.
Given the circumstances, Gates had approved Beckett to take the week off to settle into the unexpected changes in her life. She'd offered her more time, which she was legally obligated to do, but Kate declined. She wanted to save her leave for when the baby was born and she needed to physically recover from the delivery.
Her boss understood, but promised Kate that she would come by over the weekend to visit the baby. After Kate was diagnosed with cancer, Gates became a rock in her life. She was a mentor and a guide, helping Kate find the next step when she didn't know the way. She never would have imagined that their relationship would evolve to such a place when she met the woman.
She and Rick had been talking for quite awhile about Gates recently, as they made a decision that was bound to send shockwaves across the precinct. They were going to ask the woman to be their baby's Godmother. Rick questioned Lanie and Esposito, or Ryan and Jenny but Kate's response was that 1. If he and she were dead, there was a good chance that the boys were too, and 2. She liked the idea of having someone who didn't actively work in the field looking after their child.
That afternoon, the first of Kate's week off, they shopped. They hit several department stores to purchase essentials, including cloths, blankets and sheets, bottles, rash cream, formula, a car seat for each of their vehicles, a bouncing chair, and a pack-n-play crib. At the look of confusion on her face Castle explained to her that a pack-n-play crib was a fold out play pen that also doubled as a bed. It was perfect for travel and provided the baby a safe spot no matter where they were.
They also brought him toys, lots and lots of toys. Castle went crazy and Kate rolled her eyes at him. At one point he came down the aisle with his arms filled with a giant stuffed bear. "Are you trying to scare him Rick?" She asked, a hint of teasing in her voice.
"What?" He asked as if she'd said something completely ridiculous. "Who doesn't love a teddy bear?"
"I wouldn't love a teddy bear that looked big enough to eat me." She smiled at him, but kept a serious tone in her voice.
"Is that really necessary Castle?" She spoke as he piled the bear into their cart on top of the numerous toys he'd added.
"Just think Kate. A couple of weeks and I'll get to do it all again!" He spoke animatedly and pointed to her pregnant belly. She simply rolled her eyes at him, the smile never leaving his face. She knew he was telling the truth, and now he had two babies to spoil. She couldn't help but laugh at the fact.
When they returned home they began the long task of unpacking. The dresser in the spare room became Christopher's, as they folded the outfits they'd purchased for him. Kate had to admit that part had been fun. Cute little shirts and pants, adorable onesies, several pairs of socks and soft baby slippers, and a few pairs of baby sneakers were all piled into the dresser.
Beckett laughed out loud when Castle pulled a tiny jean jacket off a hanger in the store and said, "Hey! We could cut his hair into a mullet and he could be baby MacGyver!" After she was done laughing she dropped her face and tried to adopt a serious expression. "Not a chance Castle."
Playpens and large baby toys were placed in the corner of the room for the time being, while fresh crib sheets and blankets were folded and set in the closet. "We're going to have to design this room and make it more Christopher-friendly." Beckett spoke.
"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing." Castle agreed. "I was wondering if maybe Alexis might want to help us plan it out, it would give her something to feel she was contributing." Kate smiled at him and leaned over,
"That is one of the many reasons I love you Richard Castle, you're a great father." She spoke those words and then leaned in to kiss her husband. They were stocking the changing table with diapers, wipes, powders and creams when they heard the door open and close, followed by an animated, "Hello!" coming from Martha. She was not at home when they'd arrived and left a note that she'd taken the baby on a stroll through the park.
Both Castle and Beckett met her in the living room, Castle stepping closer to take the baby into his arms. "Hello little man." He spoke, "How was your day with grandma?"
"It was wonderful" Martha spoke, "that little boy is a social butterfly. Smiling and squealing at people when they approach."
"I might add", she looked at both Castle and his wife, "that there just might be a flare for the stage in him. It comes early because you're born with it!"
Castle rolled his eyes at his mother and moved to change the baby's diaper, as he walked away she yelled after him, "You can never start too early my dear!"
Later that evening they lay in their bath tub. After eating a quick dinner, feeding Christopher, burping him, changing him and soothing him to sleep, both were exhausted and desired a hot bath. Beckett still let Castle take the lead. Afterall, he was the more experienced one. She wished that she didn't feel so afraid around the baby. It made her frustrated.
The tub was a tradition of theirs, a safe place for them to come and enjoy being together. It was in that bathtub that Kate really understood how much she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, no matter how short it may have been. He washed her softly with a loofah that was coated with her favorite cherry body wash.
He loved to hear her delighted moans as he caressed every inch of her skin. Her chest, which had faded into a light scar, still my superwoman, he thought fondly to himself as he remembered when he told her that the skin graft reminded him of superman's emblem. Every now and then when they were alone, like they were in that tub he would call her superwoman.
"Alright superwoman," he spoke, "lean forward so I can get your back, love." Two pet names, he must be really affectionate tonight, she thought.
She loved his calling her superwoman because it reminded her of the first time she showed him her scar, when she had been so moved by the beauty that he saw there and the love in his eyes.
"Through it all, you've stood by me." She spoke softly, her mind flashing with images of their struggles.
"What? Where did that come from?" He asked her.
"I was just thinking about how lucky I am. You call me superwoman, but many men would have left me. It would have been too much for them."
"Well, if you had been with another man, I would have been waiting in the wings, eager for the chance to take his place." She smiled as he continued to rub circles on her back.
"You are my dear, sweet and patient husband." She softly spoke.
"I'm patient?" He tilted her shoulders, giving her the hint to turn and face him.
"I'm patient Kate?" He asked her with some disbelief in his voice.
"There is a baby in the next room that you agreed to take in, permanently. You could have served me with divorce papers, taken our unborn child, and run Kate." She shook her head at him.
"No Rick, I couldn't. There is one central flaw in your logic." She waited for him to question her.
"What is that?" He said, taking the bait.
"I need you. I just don't function well without you. So if I were to leave I would be denying both of us any shot of happiness." She softly explained to him.
He twisted her back again and pulled her against himself once more.
"I guess that we're just stuck with eachother then, huh?" Rick spoke, caressing his fingers over the part of her stomach that had just recently started to peek out of the water.
"What a shame." Kate replied, a wry smile across her face.
Life was certainly unexpected, but they were in it together.
I will be out of town, so the story may not get updated until early next week. In the next chapter we will see Alexis' reaction, and alone time with Kate, (who is entering her second trimester) and the baby.
Thanks for reading