Disclaimer: yadda yadda…

Warnings: slashy sort of stuff wrapped in syrup and sugar. Adult themes .

A/N: So this is the last day of Spring break – this chap is a little longer than the others but will probably be the last one for a bit. I hope not because I'd really like to get going on the meat of what's going on here and get into the more serious stuff – but I need TIME for that – which is in limited supply during school.

Thanks to everyone for the WONDERFUL reviews and for reassuring me that this doesn't suck. It's such a weird concept that I worry.

Thanks for reading.

You guys are awesome.

Spock and Leonard talked quietly, trying to decide what to do about the predicament while they waited for James to …. finish… so that they … or just Leonard… could help him get dressed. They decided the best option was to just go about business as usual and pretend like the incident didn't occur so that James (and Spock…and Leonard for that matter) would be spared further embarrassment.

Spock would take extra care to shower, shave, dress and undress only in the bathroom with the door shut from now on and when possible Leonard would be the one to help James with his nightly bubble bath routine. They talked about James moving in with Leonard again but Spock was very insistent that he did not want that.

"Please… do not take him away from me…" he nearly pleaded when Leonard sounded insistent.

"Spock that's not… I wouldn't do that. Jocelyn did that to me with my daughter. I know what it's like having your heart ripped out like that. That wasn't my intention. I just meant that it might be better for the time being. Just temporarily, until this thing with him passes or, I dunno. The whole thing has me so confused I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I can't imagine what you are going through."

"It is… difficult, and conflicting and extremely awkward to say the least."

"Then let me take him for a few days, give you some breathing room and time to think and sort things out. It's not like you wouldn't see him at all, I'd just have him for night time and more importantly bath time at night and getting showered and dressed in the morning. You could, switch shifts with Lathem and take the Gamma shift for a couple of nights so that he doesn't take it personally."

"He is not used to your quarters, and you share a bathroom with Mr. Scott, would not that be an inconvenience to Montgomery? James will not feel at home, he is very centered on this being his home."

"I know that, I was thinkin' that if you switched shifts with Lathem then I could just stay here with him, and you could sleep in his room if you have to. The bed is still in there and he only goes over there once in a while now. I'd have whoever is watching him during the day keep him out of your joint quarters so you can sleep or meditate or whatever."

"I do not know Leonard…"

"Okay, how about you take the rest of the day and think about it. See how things go with him and if it's still uncomfortable, we can go with my plan. It's just for a couple of days Spock, not forever, and I won't be taking him away from you."

"I….let me see how today goes. I promise you I will think about what you have said Leonard, thank you."

"Yeah sure, here he comes, I'm gonna rewarm his breakfast."

The bathroom door had opened and James came limping out, fully dressed. He'd obviously retrieved his own clothes from his own room and dressed himself. He'd also shaved. He limped over to the table, declining the offer for help and sat down, but only fleetingly looked at Spock.

Spock and Leonard did their best to keep the meal lighthearted, talking about daily things as they normally would. By the end of breakfast James was smiling brightly and laughing like normal and the awkwardness was all but gone. It made Spock feel hopeful that maybe the incident had been somewhat of a fluke and would not happen again with careful avoidance of interactions that might prove to be a trigger.

Leonard was on Alpha shift in sickbay so he took the breakfast trays with him making Spock promise to call him if things got awkward before he left. Spock wasn't sure if James had heard that comment or not but it didn't seem to matter because James was happily playing a game on Spock's terminal and was acting as if everything was as it should be, so Spock decided to stick to the original plan and do the same.

Leonard had been right about the pain meds making James a little lethargic. He wasn't his usual bubbling bouncy self but he was happy and content to color, watch vids, play with blocks, or puzzles, or have Spock read to him. Spock was glad of this, it gave him a chance to spend some very special one on one time with James which he usually didn't get to do during the day. James was usually so rambunctious and energetic that Spock had a hard time playing with him during the day. Night time was different, that's when James would settle down and let Spock read to him or would be able to sit still enough to play chess. The whole day ended up being like their evenings after dinner usually were, and Spock was delighted.

All of the tension and awkwardness they'd experienced earlier was gone and forgotten and by the time Leonard came by in the evening to check on James and give him another dose of meds. He'd been there for lunch and things had been going well so he wasn't too surprised by what he saw when he walked through the door. Spock was sitting quietly on the couch, data PADD in one hand, obviously going over reports. James was asleep, covered by his blankie, clutching Little Spock in one arm, his other curled up ending with his thumb in his mouth. He was the picture of innocence, his head cradled on Spock's lap, the fingers from Spock's free hand absent mindedly carding themselves through James' hair as he slept.

"You sure that's a good idea given the circumstances of this morning?" Leonard asked pointedly, receiving a very confused eyebrow raise from the Vulcan in response. Leonard motioned to the former Captain's head in Spock's lap and waved his fingers at Spock to bring his attention to what he was doing to James' hair. Spock looked down and seemed to be surprised to find himself running his fingers through James hair, but he merely shrugged at the doctor and went back to reading his reports, draping his free hand over James' shoulder.

"You're impossible."

"I am here in front of you and therefore exist, making me completely 'possible' in every way, and your statement highly illogical."

"You do that on purpose don't you?"

"I have no idea to what you are referring."

"Yeah, and I've got some ocean front property in Arizona I can sell you for a buck ninety and acre."

"Is that a reasonable price for fictitious property?"

"I dunno I haven't checked the Imaginationland Market values yet today."

"You guys are funny." James giggled, his bleary blue eyes open and blinking a little as yawned up at them.

"Did we wake you James?"

"Sorry Sport."

"'s'Okay…unghmmm," he said yawning again and sitting up. "Gotsta get up anyhow, it's almost dinner time an I'm hungry, and my let hurts again Bones," he admitted with a frown.

"I figured Sport," Leonard said, sitting beside him and administering the hypo he had ready.

"Owie."

"Sorry buddy, and I hate to be a pain but I need to run the dermal regenerator over those bruises again. Why don't you come in the bathroom with me so I can okay?"

"Why we gotta go in there…" James started to protest but then looked up at Spock as if he was remembering something. "Oh yeah, um… the bathroom is good, okay," he said and limped over to the bathroom, Leonard following close behind.

Leonard was pleased to see that the bruises were healing quite nicely. He was sure that James would be able to walk down to the commissary at the least by the next morning, but they settled for eating dinner together in Spock and James' quarters as they had the previous two meals that day. Dinner was pleasant, James told Leonard about all the games he and Spock had played together that afternoon and that he'd beaten Spock at chess two out of three games.

"That's pretty impressive," Leonard agreed as he looked over at Spock gazing at Jim with utter adoration written all over what should have been a stoic Vulcan face. "Guess things went really well today huh?" He asked.

"Yes, I believe they did."

"You think about what I said?"

"Yes, I do not think it is necessary at this time. Let us take it 'one day at a time' as the saying goes."

"Okay, if that's what you want, and if you're sure."

"I am."

After dinner Spock excused himself briefly to go check on several things that required his attention or Captain's approval. When he returned Leonard was curled up on the couch with James, reading 'Harry Potter and the Chamber Serets'. They had already read 'The Sorcerer's Stone', the previous week.

Spock allowed a small smile to ghost across his lips at the comforting sight before he verbally admonished the doctor for reading a potentially scary story to James before bedtime.

"We discussed it first, we aren't to the scary parts yet, we just started it, so we don't think it will cause any nightmares, and I couldn't get him to agree to anything else." James nodded his head in agreement as he looked up at Spock with clear blue, but very sleepy eyes.

"Alright, but when you finish that chapter James, I want you to get ready for bed."

"Okay Papa."

True to his word, when they were done James grabbed the book from Bones, marked their place and put it back on the shelf next to the couch. Then he walked quietly over to Spock's desk, where the Vulcan was sitting reading and answering e-mails. He placed a hand on the back of Spock's chair and stared at the Vulcan for a moment with a strange look on his face before he quickly pecked him on the cheek.

"Love you Papa," he said quietly before turning to Leonard. "Bones would you run my bath for me while I go get my jammas?" he said loudly, emphasizing that he wanted Leonard to be the one to assist him.

Spock nearly felt disappointed or hurt but he realized that James quiet words to him along with the quick peck were to assure him that he meant no disrespect or offense. In his own way James understood the situation and was doing what he could to rectify it himself.

Leonard stayed so that he could help James into his pajamas and tuck him in. The two men had formed a nightly routine where tucking James in was concerned. Leonard held the covers open while James climbed in with Little Spock and got comfortable, then he covered him up and tucked the comforter around him. Then Spock spread James' blankie out over the tip of him, picture side up and straightened out so that James could look down and see all the pictures. Then both leaned in for a hugkiss goodnight.

"G'night Papa, g'night my Bones," James yawned. "Love you."

"We love you too Sport, goodnight."

When they got back out to the Living room Leonard once again cornered Spock asking if he was absolutely sure Spock didn't want him to stay.

"I am sure. If there is a difficulty I cannot handle, I will call you, I promise you that, but I do not want to be separated from him if it is not necessary and it does not seem to be at this point."

"No I guess it ain't… isn't… sorry. Okay, I'll leave you to it then. G'night"

"Good night Leonard, sleep well."

Spock finished up his work and meditated for a while before retiring for the evening. James seemed to be sound asleep when Spock paused by his bed to ghost his fingers over James' cheek before climbing into his own bed. However, he must not have been asleep because Spock had been in bed for less than ten minutes when James climbed into bed with him, bear and blanket in hand.

"James, have you had a nightmare?"

"Not exactly."

"Then you know the rule, and it is especially-"

"Inappropriate, I know," James said cutting him off heaving a huge sigh and tightening his grip around the Vulcan's waist as he snuggled his head further into Spock's shoulder. "Papa I don't want you to go away."

"I am not going anywhere."

"I mean I don't want… my Bones is a good Daddy and I love him very much, but I don't want him ta stay here wif me and you go away and lie about havin' to work. I wanna be wif you Papa. I wanna be wif you for always."

"James how did you-"

"I was listnin'. I know I'm not asposed to but after I…. well I got dressed fast and when I comed back into the bathroom I heard my Bones telling you I should come live with him and I got scared. I though he was gonna take me away from you and I don't want that so I listened. I know he's just trying to help but I… I just want you to stay Papa. I'm sorry I was bad and did a bad thing, I… I'm sorry I had… bad … inappropriate thoughts… I didn't mean to Papa, it's not my fault, it's cuz of Jim, cuz he… cuz he… I'm not asposed to say but I dint mean it Papa. Please don't leave me," he pleaded, sounding as if he were on the verge of crying.

Spock turned the lighting up a bit and sat up on the bed and pulled James up to a sitting position as well. He made him look into his eyes before he spoke.

"James I need for you to understand that you did not do anything wrong. You were not bad and did not do a bad thing. It was not something that you can help. It was a perfectly natural thing. Do you understand?"

"But my Bones said it was bad."

"No that is not what he meant. He did not mean that you were bad, or that what happened was a result of you doing something bad or wrong. He was simply verbalizing the fact that it would further complicate our situation and possibly make things awkward between you and I. He was assuming that it was Jim's feelings, memories, and attraction towards me that caused you to get an erection, and was anticipating that it could happen again because of the duality between the two of you. Do you understand? He was simply vocalizing his frustration and the fact that he did not, as of yet, know how to handle the situation, or prevent it from happening again."

"Oh, so he wasn't mad at me?"

"No. Oh no, James. Of course he was not mad at you, and before you ask, I am not mad at you either. As I said, you did nothing wrong. How could I be mad at you when I love you and you have done nothing wrong?"

"I dunno."

"The answer is, I cannot little one."

"I'm not little Papa. Jims big so I'm big too." Spock just smiled at this remark and hugged the man child to him briefly.

"James, may I ask you some questions of a personal nature, and will you try to be as honest as you can with me?"

"Yes Papa, if I can."

"Since we have discussed that you remember how Jim used to 'take care' of the problem he had with his morning erections and given this morning's incident, you obviously remember what masturbation is, do you not?"

"Yes Papa…" James admitted blushing furiously and looking at Little Spock instead of big Spock.

"Do you possess any of Jim's other memories pertaining to sexual activities? Do you know what I am referring to when I say sexual activities?"

"You mean doing it and yeah I know what it is, it's intra, inter… intercourse, and yeah I member… yuck," he proclaimed making a disgusted face.

"I see. So you are privy to Jim's sexual exploits."

"Don't make him sound like a whore Papa, he don't like it," James said after a moment or two of silence, eye rolling and an exasperated sigh.

"I am sorry, it is just that I am aware that Jim was very experienced in that area and I am trying to determine how much of that history you are aware of."

"Most of it I think, I dunno, stuff is fuzzy but it's there. Don't know how to splain it better than that. But see it's like this, it's there, but I don't have to know it all the time. Mostly I can ignore it if I want and just be me, but sometimes stuff happens and I can't ignore it no more. Or if I need to know somethin' so I can fix puters or whatever, I can just know whatever I need to know. It's um… what you said affor, complicated? Is that the right word?"

"Oh I think that is a very appropriate word for it yes. I wish I could understand what is going on and why this has happened, or how to help you fix it."

"Do you want it fixed Papa?"

"Of course, is that not the purpose of the, 'stuff you have to think about'?"

"I guess, I just … if we figure it out, I would miss bein' me. I would miss bein' this close to you and bein' your son Spock. You aren't afraid to love me this way, we aren't afraid to love each other this way, it's easier. Do you want me to go away and just be Jim Spock…Papa?"

"I … no…I… I do not know… I. I have never wanted to use colorful metaphors as much as I do at this moment. I am confused and frustrated. I would miss you James. So much…"

"But you miss Jim, right now. You miss Jim now just as much as you would miss me if I wuz gone and it hurts your heart?"

"Yes." Spock said simply, for he didn't know what else to say.

"Can we be done talking about this?" Jams asked with a sigh hugging Spock lightly.

"That would probably be best for now. I just want you to realize that because of your unique duality and your shared memories of Jim's experiences, what happened this morning is not your fault. It was a natural reaction to Jim's attraction to me. At least Leonard is sure that he had an attraction for me, I was not aware of it. I am not trying to be presumptuous."

"You're not zumptious Papa," James smiled and giggled. "Jim thinks… No!…. Jim thinks… I'm not sayin' the big secret… Jim thinks your sexy Papa!" James confessed bursting into a fit of giggles and falling back down on the bed.

"I take it he is not happy with you for sharing that information with me."

"Not much no. He'll get over it," he giggled some more.

"I thought you could not directly communicate with him."

"Well mostly I can't, but he's me, an I'm him, so I know how he thinks and he knows how I think and sometimes he just splits off and yells like he's a whole nother person or somethin' it's weird. Cuz then it's like I got voices in my head or somethin'."

"Very complicated indeed."

"Yep."

"Has he ever talked to me directly? Could he if he wanted to, if you are both one and the same?"

"Yes… NO… yes?... No… maybe… , but he can't."

"I do not understand."

James looked around and then lowered his voice to a whisper. "If anybody found out he was talkin' to you and it was him they'd try ta make him be Captain again and he ain't gonna do that, and neither am I. You are Captain now and you're a good Captain so um.. don't get mad… but… Starfleet can suck it," he finished matter of factly.

"I assume that was a quote?"

"Yup."

"Eventually you, or he, will need to explain in much more detail what exactly you are talking about and why you feel that you can no longer be the Captain. I need to understand."

"I know, but I ain't ready to talk about it yet. I still got stuff to think about, and so does he." James said sighing and becoming sad once again, hugging his bear close to him and looking up at Spock very forlornly. Spock laid back down held James briefly.

"I am not sure I am ready to talk about it either. Perhaps for tonight we should just go to sleep. Would you like me to tuck you in again?"

"I.. uh…I can't sleep over there."

"Yes you can."

"No I can't I'm um.. afraid of the Basilisk?"

"You are not."

"Then I'm afraid of… the soldiers…"

"You are not."

James sighed heavily before continuing. "Okay, I'm afraid you'll change your mind."

"Concerning what?"

"Leaving me. I said too much. It's too complicated. I'm afraid that while I'm sleepin' you'll change your mind and decide it's not a good idea to be with me all the time and you'll leave me. I'm afraid I'll wake up and I'll be all alone and then I'll have ta go live with Bones and you won't love me no more."

"James, I have told you that will not happen. I will never leave you willingly. Not in that way. I love you very very much and that will never change."

"Would you still love me if I wasn't me anymore?"

Spock contemplated what he was really being asked and knew that he must tell James, and Jim, the truth. He sighed and looked James directly in the eye before he continued.

"Yes James I would love you in any shape, in any form, in any way, in any universe, no matter what. I will always love you in whatever way I can and in whatever way I am allowed."

"You promise?"

"I do James. I promise."

"Even if it's not the easy way no more?"

"Yes James, even if it's not the easy way, even if it is the most difficult way, I will always love you. I promise you that I will do whatever I can to ensure that we are not separated unless it is absolutely necessary. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Yeah, sometimes if things get awkward or complicated it might be necessary right?"

"Yes, then I will need to have Leonard come stay with you."

"But you'll still love me and you'll come back to me always right? You promise you'll always come back?"

"Yes James, I promise that if we must be separated it will be temporary and I will always come back to you, and I will always love you no matter what. Never doubt that."

"Good. I won't Papa. I love you. Night." James said and he snuggled into Spock's shoulder.

"Tomorrow you will sleep in your own bed, and from then on unless you have a nightmare you will sleep in your own bed."

"Yeah… k…nghtluvu"

"Goodnight James." Spock said sighing and placing a small quick kiss on the top of his head.