Ymir woke up with the familiar achiness between her legs as she stared up at her ceiling. She really didn't want to face it, but her alarm was going nuts and it was Thursday. By tomorrow, the dance would be two weeks away.

Ymir rolled over, grumbling as she slammed her hand on the alarm clock, but the fucker wouldn't stop. She slapped it again but to no avail.

"Fine!" She growled, snatching its cord and yanking it from the socket. She'll worry about plugging it back in later. "Ugh."

Ymir had made the mistake of taking a shower last night and now as she approached the mirror she realized it. Her brown hair was everywhere. She grabbed her comb and tried to tame the beast, but it kept fluffing up no matter what she did. She wetted the comb and kept at it for a few minutes before saying fuck it and grabbing a hat.

"Mom, you home?" Ymir went downstairs, side glancing the clock. She had time to stop by McDonald's if she was quick enough. Coffee. Yum. "Mom?"

It wasn't strange to wake up without seeing her mom. She always worked very hard for the two of them and took as many hours as she could handle.

Ymir glimpsed in the kitchen and found that her mother wasn't there—her coffee mug was still on the table. She must've just missed her, but she saw a note on the fridge, too.

"Hm?" Ymir went over and took the magnet off the slip of paper and skimmed it.

Honey,

I won't be back till tomorrow. I have to cover someone's shift and will be staying the night at the hospital. I'm sorry! I left some money for you to get pizza. Maybe invite Connie and Sasha over for a fun night? Don't stay up too late!

Love you always, Mommy

"Mm." Ymir's frown deepened. Last night, she barely got to see her mom. This whole week had been very busy for the both of them, especially when Ymir kept going to sleep early because of a certain blonde's arduous antics.

Ymir sighed and put the note back on the fridge. She went to the living room and then to the bookcase, pulling out the Norse Mythology book and went right to the section of Ymir. Inside its pages was a crisp twenty dollar bill.

"Score," but the words lacked any excitement.

She was really hoping to spend time with her mom. Their DVR was becoming clogged with shows that they pre-recorded but never got around to.

Oh wells.

There was always other times. Until then, Ymir had to get ready to rejoin hell's society that was High School.

-x-x-x-

"What!?" Ymir screamed in the class room, pissed. All the other kids jumped and gave worried looks. Even Reiner's group gave her their undivided attention. Most of all, that meant Historia's attention, too.

Ymir stormed to the front of the class with her test and slammed it into Mr. Ackerman's desk.

"Why did I get these wrong?! It says on the key that it's correct!" She was fuming. Historia felt her back tense up and at the same time, she felt a little sick.

Why was everyone looking at Ymir?

"H-Hey," she tried to reel in the group's attention. "We should really do something this weekend?"

But her words didn't reach anyone.

"Your handwriting is awful. I can't read a single thing. If I can't understand what you put, it's wrong." Mr. Ackerman deadpanned. "You may use your one-time test retake if you wish."

Poor Ymir.

"He's such an asshole." Historia whispered as Reiner's group laughed and turned back to her as the whole class resumed whatever they were doing.

"Now, what were you saying Historia? Hangout over weekend?" The group returned to their usual chatter.

Historia watched as Ymir's shoulders slumped as Mr. Ackerman seemed to be chewing into her. Historia lingered for only a second before being brought back into the conversation.

Ymir couldn't help but glance over her shoulder, trying to tune out Mr. Ackerman, but her eyes caught Historia's back on her.

They were in the same class yet they might as well have been strangers.

Ymir dropped her gaze.

Why did she think Historia would be concerned?

-x-x-x-

The day proceeded to get worse and worse. She lost her favorite pen, found it in Connie's desk, destroyed to make some makeshift bow, got in trouble when she throttled him, in PE she got racked in the nuts by Sasha, and she had to walk it off and pretend like it was nothing. Then, the rest of the day, she had to play catch up because she was starting to feel sick.

Her head hurt by the end of the day as she had her head against the steering wheel, waiting for Historia at their usual rendezvous point.

Everything felt like hell. She didn't even want to think of working on anything at home. She really just wanted to crawl in bed and finally die.

"Hey," Historia's voice called her out of her melodramatic thoughts. The blonde was staring at her with a frown. "You're not looking so well…"

Their car time was usually spent with Historia's iPod blaring.

"Rough day," Ymir grumbled. Not like Historia would know.

Historia was quiet once more as she shut her door and plugged in her iPod.

Ymir almost wished that it wasn't a normal day. Some part of her begged for Historia to ask her about, to kiss it all better, but she knew that wouldn't happen. It wasn't part of their fuck buddy system.

Sometimes, Ymir wished she wasn't fucking the hottest girl in school… sometimes, she just wanted her best friend back.

-x-x-x-

"Long day, huh?" Historia was at the foot of the bed, facing Ymir as her knees were drawn to her chest. Ymir laid on her back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, and wondering what Historia wanted.

"Yeah." Suddenly, Historia interested just now? Not before? It felt like no matter what, Historia never cared until she was bored and at Ymir's house.

Ymir didn't even know why Historia kept coming around. For the sex, for the attention...

Fuck.

Ymir knew she was an easy lay for Historia. She didn't want to think if she did that with anyone else. It seemed like the blonde was always starving for a good fuck, so, would that mean Ymir wasn't the only one laying the moves on her?

Ugh.

Stop thinking about it, but it was too late. Ymir was picturing everyone's hands on Historia and hearing her moan—the same kind that Ymir thought was hers only—she heard it so loud and clear, just seeing it moaned in another person's room as their—

"Do you want to talk about?" Historia asked.

Ymir gritted her teeth.

"I did earlier, but not now." It came off short and bitter and Ymir got the satisfaction of feeling Historia uncomfortably shift on the bed.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Historia asked. Ymir knew she meant it in some sort of sexual way. It was always sex, sex, sex. It was pathetic—Ymir felt herself chuckle.

The thought that came, that pathetic revelation—I've seen Historia naked more than I have clothed these days.

"What do you want?" Ymir finally peered at Historia, glaring into her eyes. She searched every shade of blue and reflection in them, trying to find the girl she used to know, and maybe something that didn't seek sex.

Historia flinched at the words. She frowned and glanced down to her lap, fidgeting with her hands. Something she used to do when they were kids. Immediately, Ymir dropped the attitude.

Her Historia looked sad.

"I'm sorry," the words came effortlessly as her bruised pride and self-esteem vanished. All she seemed to care about was whether or not Historia would let her asshole words slide. "Just a hard day… things just keep piling up on each other. I'm just tired of… things."

"It's alright… I should've asked earlier… but, what's been bothering you, Ymir?" Historia crawled over the bed to Ymir's side, sitting there and gently rubbing her head. "You can tell me anything… I won't tell anyone…"

"I'm not worried about you telling anyone." Historia would never admit she associated with her, but at the same time it was comforting. "I'm just… getting exhausted easy. It feels like no matter what I do, it isn't enough—that I somehow fuck up in one way or another and get punished harder than I would've been if I just didn't… try as hard, I guess."

Historia was quiet when Ymir nuzzled her face into the girl's thigh. Gently, Historia brought Ymir closer so Ymir could rest her head in Historia's lap. Historia stroked her hair and rubbed the back of her neck, listening to Ymir's words.

"It's like… why try if trying makes everything worse… I could just give up and not even get as much flak as I get for doing my best. Things aren't all rainbows and butterflies like those stupid movies show when you put in hard work… there's just always something that pulls me down when I get back up on my feet…"

Ymir didn't speak after that as she lingered on her last words and the following silence. It left her a great deal to think about, but Historia's soft hands running through her hair kept her company.

It was a while.

At least thirty minutes, which, for two teenage girls, is a very long time of silence.

Especially for friends.

But Historia broke the quiet.

"I feel like that, too, sometimes," Historia admitted, tucking hair behind Ymir's ear.

"Really? The perfect Historia Rei—Oof!"

"I hate it when you say that," her eyes really narrowed dangerously. She really did hate it with a passion. Just like being called doll or, God forbid, shorty.

"I know. Sorry." Ymir wasn't really.

"As I was saying, dickface," Historia huffed but resumed, "it feels like you should give up before you really start getting hurt badly, but you can't. You want to do better… and it hurts a lot, though, but, sometimes that pain is familiar and nice…"

Ymir agreed with some of it, but not all. She didn't like the pain. She never wanted to think of it as a positive, but she didn't interrupt because Historia was talking a lot about her feelings. A very rare thing. Ymir couldn't help but latch onto it, because this was the real Historia, the one hidden deep inside Historia's facades and masks. Just like the Historia she grew up with.

"You try and try but it always comes out wrong, doesn't it? And you get hurt over and over and no matter what it never seems to get better." Historia leaned down without warning and kissed Ymir's lips.

"I suck at talking, Ymir. I really do," she whispered between their lips, leaving more and more fleeting kisses. "Can we… do what we usually do…?"

"Historia…" Ymir wasn't pleased that it did lead back to it. She wondered if all conversations and actions led to sex, but her mind was at odds with her needy body. She could feel herself stir with every kiss Historia gave her.

"We can do it how you like," Historia promised, hand going down and caressing Ymir's cheek.

"We've been fucking every day after school." Ymir protested lightly. "Is there other things we can do?"

Historia stopped kissing her but her hand kept stroking her cheek.

"We can play games, but I'm not good at them. We can get our homework done together, but what will we do after that? We can watch TV but that's boring… We've done everything and anything around here, Ymir. What more could we do?" She wondered. "All I want to do is be with you."

"What if we do all those things but together, then," Ymir ventured. "If you just want to be with me… why don't we just do those things…"

Historia kissed Ymir once.

Twice.

"Is that honestly something you want to do?" Historia asked, refraining from more kisses. Her tone was so serious, like Ymir was asking her to tell her her darkest secrets.

What was so wrong about just hanging around each other like they used to? It isn't that Ymir didn't like her… Ymir would dare say she loved her. Like, a whole lot, but was that wasn't the point…

Ymir didn't know that just being around her without sex was such a hassle. It made Ymir feel guilty and pissed for even asking.

"Fine."

"Huh?" Historia was confused but the moment Ymir pulled her down for another kiss… she understood.

Ymir didn't want to do things Historia disliked. Not for her own sake. She never wanted Historia to feel like being with her was a chore.

Sometimes how Ymir felt around Historia.

-x-x-x-

The bed's blankets and covers were bunching up near Ymir's ass that rigidly went back and forth against the sheets, gathering friction and cushion from the bunching bedding.

Historia was tightly in her lap, but her hips rocked softly and slowly back and forth as their mouths were interlocked. Together, they worked hard in the furnace they made as felt herself melt against the heat and softness of Historia's body. She held her lovingly in her arms as she kept kissing the blonde.

It was a slow kind of love. Something Historia didn't do very often.

"Ymir," her angelic voice was setting Ymir close to her climax. Her pace didn't pick up but her face was going screwy as she got closer. Ymir knew she was making the ugliest face ever, but Historia smiled between them—her white teeth glistening in the dark—as she gave a happy exhale, kissing Ymir deeply.

Historia's hips slowed but each grind was deeper, pressing Ymir more on Historia's walls. It felt like heaven.

"H-Historia," she hissed, "I—"

"Shh," Historia softened those heavy words with kisses and squeezes on her shoulder muscles.

Historia's body went tense as her hips jerked back and forth. Shivers raced up her back, under Ymir's hungry hands, and sending a beautiful groan across Historia's lips. Ymir came right after, holding Historia tightly in her embrace and not letting go as she felt her whole body go stiff.

"Nn," she grunted as she felt herself strain, holding that tension inside. It felt like she was barely stuck on the very edge of it until Historia's hips moved and made her finally lose it.

"Hn!" Ymir's hands dug into Historia's soft skin as she anchored her on her dick, riding out the high as long as she could. She felt herself spill into Historia as the blonde's body twitched and tightened on her length.

Normally, it might've been a problem, but Historia had switched over to the pill. It made Ymir happy to finally be able to finish in her—it felt like a step closer to actually having her, but Ymir didn't want to say that.

She honestly didn't want to feel that way either, but she didn't try to stop it as the pride swelled in her at feeling Historia slick with her.

"How're you feeling?" Historia asked, kissing Ymir over and over, and hardly giving her time to respond.

"If you let me talk," Ymir smiled, tired and sweet, "I will tell you."

"Alright. Make it quick." Historia's nose crinkled with her little smile. Ymir couldn't help but love that they were smiling together. It was small and stupid but it meant everything to Ymir.

"I'm feeling… better. Thanks." Ymir knew she always got caught up in being pissed and forgot what a good lay did.

Ymir didn't like to admit it but she always felt closer to Historia after screwing around. Call it loneliness or desperation, but whatever it was… it made everything better. Even if it was only for a few moments.