Disclaimer: I don't own them - I just take creative liberties with them in my spare time.
Warnings: Language, Adult Themes, K/S, etc.
Author's Note: First of all I am SOOOO Sorry that this update has taken so long. I've had huge huge issues to deal with in real life with my family. I've had very little time to write, and every time I did sit down and try to write this chapter, it just seemed to fall short and not be on par with the rest of the story. I blame the stress. Anyway - thank you all for continuing to review and favorite and alert.
I especially want to send a shout out to "Gabby" for your loyal reading and reviews this summer. I wanted to send you a PM and thank you - but you signed in anonymously - so I couldn't :( - but know that I really appreciate your support and kind words. They kept me going and kept me trying even when I felt like I was out of steam.
As for the chapter - like I said - sorry it took so long - I can only hope - that after all this time - it makes sense and fits in with the rest of the story. Also - I would really really appreciate it if you guys could point out any inconsistancies - or places where it doesn't flow etc. I wrote it in a very choppy fashion - a bit here, a bit there, a bit three weeks later, a bit three weeks after that... etc. So I worry that it shows. Let me know if I've made any grievous errors as far as the story line goes - so I can go back and fix them.
Thanks so much and I hope you enjoy.
As always - please review so that my inspiration will continue and we can finish up this little journey we've been taking together.
Love to you all.
T'Pinto
By the time Leonard got done scanning and bitching Jim's head was pounding. Spock's presence and the light touches to his back and shoulder helped, but didn't completely alleviate the growing pain. He absent mindedly pinched the bridge of his nose and was instantly treated to a sharp pain in his neck.
"God dammit Bones, stop that!"
"Do you or do you not want to have a headache free dinner?"
"I'm not sure that's possible even with the hypo. You know, you are really gentle with James when he has to have a shot. Why is that?" Jim questioned.
"He's a kid, that's different."
"He's me. It's my body."
"He ain't you. Not by a long shot. He's nice to me." Leonard admitted.
"Oh for cryin' out loud. I give up. Why is it so much to ask for you to just be gentler with the damn hypos and not jam them into my neck so forcefully?"
"I happen to derive great pleasure out of tormenting you. Deal with it."
"Sadist."
"Narcissist."
"Sociopath."
"Egotist."
"Admit it, you miss me." Jim teased.
"I admit nothing, even if it is true."
Spock sat back silently observing the banter between his friends, knowing that it was a vital and necessary part of their friendship. He did not entirely understand their need to be seemingly spiteful toward one another, but he knew that what they said was somehow said in kindness and in jest, despite the contradictory nature of the words used.
One by one Scotty, the senior bridge crew members and Kevin Riley filtered in and they decided to move their private dinner to the conference room where there was a bigger table. Spock had put in a special request to the commissary to prepare a non-replicated meal for them, which was promptly served just after they arrived in the conference room.
All of them were glad to be able to spend some time with Jim, but an awkwardness hung over the room like a thick layer of fog, threatening to descend. Not only were they all thinking about James, and the fact that he would cease to exist once they convinced Jim to come back to them permanently, but they were all wondering if they should breach the subject about Jim regaining the captaincy before they'd completed their investigation into his absurd claims. Ultimately an awkward silence settled among them as each of them shot each other tentative looks around the table. Finally Scotty dared to break the silence.
"You know, as Chief Engineer the head of IT hasta report ta me. Normally I let him do as he pleases and jest forward reports ta me once a month, unless there's sumthin unusual goin on that I need ta know about, like that glitch a couple months back that apparently James fixed from the good Doctor's console. Anaway, my point is, I had a very intresting conversation with 'im this mornin'. Seems James had himself quite a day at work yesterday."
Jim flushed and silently continued eating, pretending he hadn't heard a word Scotty had said.
"I am aware of the events of which you speak Mr. Scott, and it was indeed interesting. Perhaps you should share the story." Spock prompted when Jim continued to ignore Scotty, who was looking at him very pointedly.
"Right then. Well you see it all started with a new efficiency program that as it turns out, wuzn't that efficient, and it ended with our lil buddy over there goin' all James Tiberius Kirk on tha whole lot o' them."
"So wait," Sulu interjected looking at Jim. "You were here yesterday too and didn't say anything?"
"Not exactly…"Jim said, staring at his food and not offering any more information.
Between Scotty and Spock the story was reiterated. Everyone listened intently, sharing knowing looks all around, each wondering if they should confront their former Captain while he was there with them rather than waiting until they could prove to him that he was wrong about his assumptions. Jim sat stoically, pushing his food around his plate with his fork and offering nothing to the ensuing conversation. When the story was done no one seemed to know just what to say to Jim. Finally Pavel spoke up.
"Keptin, it is obvious to us zat you are missing command wery much…"
"I'm not the Captain Pavel, Spock is, so don't call me that."
"Okay, Jim zen, but zat does not change ze fact zat you are missing ze Captaincy as much as we are missing you being ze Keptin, meaning no offense to Meester Spock."
"None taken Ensign. He is right Jim. You are well aware of my feelings on the matter."
"Yeah, I am, and I really don't want to hear it again. Look, I know you guys mean well, and for what it's worth, Spock and the IT crew made some very good points both yesterday and today. I heard them and I'm really trying to see things from a different perspective, I'm just….it's just….I need more time okay? I just need more time." Jim stumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes squeezed tight as he finished.
"Jim if you need more time, we'll give it to you, just promise us that you'll really think about it, and when we are ready to bring this up again, that you'll listen to what we have to say with an open mind." Kevin pleaded.
"I will, I'll listen, I just can't guarantee that any of you is going to change my mind. I'm sorry but… that's the um… best… I can do…I….gaahh…"
Leonard and Spock were suddenly beside him. He'd struggled with those last few words and it was obvious that the headache was overpowering him at that point, which meant that it was becoming too hard for him to retain control. He groaned in pain again despite the Hypo that Leonard administered, clutching his head. He tried to stand but it caused him to scream out and double over. He collapsed on the floor immediately rolling into a ball rocking back and forth.
"We're going to have to get him to sickbay, there's nothing else I can do for him in here." Leonard declared.
Spock knelt down and swiftly picked him up and the entire assemblage paraded through the corridors to sickbay receiving worried glances from every crew member they passed. Scotty and Hikaru tried to assure everyone that Jim was okay as they went, but no one seemed to believe them. Mr. Scott did his best to order everyone gently to return to their duties, promising to make a ship wide announcement once Jim/James was stable.
It only took about 10 minutes for them to start seeing a change once they got him to sickbay and Leonard was able to administer alternative treatments. His body relaxed and soon, long fluttering eyelashes began to bat against flushed cheeks revealing glimpses of the cerulean pools that lie beneath.
"Papa? It hurts me Papa…" James' familiar cadence resounded through the room as James rubbed his head and stuck out his bottom lip.
"I know kiddo. I know it hurts but I can't give you any more pain medication right now." Leonard soothed, rubbing James' back tenderly.
"How cuz Bones?"
"Because I've already given you more medication than I should have. In fact, you should be unconscious right now, or Jim should. Maybe he is. Anyway, I'm right here and so is your Papa. All your friends are here and we're going to take good care of you, aren't we?
There was a rippling agreement through the room, though the group was sharing bittersweet glances. It was clear that the entire collective was confused about what they should be feeling. Elation that James was back, or disappointment that Jim was gone again? Both? Neither? No one knew.
Spock had stepped forward and was holding James' hand and murmuring softly to him in Vulcan, a ritual of theirs whenever James had been hurt while playing over the past few months. It seemed to sooth him for the time being and he nodded in agreement to something that Spock asked.
Spock touched his fingers to James' meld points and repeated the familiar refrain that would connect their minds. Through their link he helped to lessen the degree of James' pain and make it easier for him to deal with what remained. He also confirmed for himself and later the audience that Jim was indeed unconscious but fine for the time being.
James was exhausted, so Spock took him back to their quarters and tucked him in. Christine had agreed to stay with him so that a meeting could be reconvened in the conference room. Once everyone was re-assembled they quickly agreed to go a step further and recruit more help since it seemed that the story of James' confrontation with the IT crew had already made its rounds through the ship. Crew members all over the ship had been questioning Scotty and Lietenant Hoffman, the director of IT, all day. Some had even been questioning Kevin, Nyota and Pavel about what was really going on with James, whether or not Jim was coming back, and what they could do to help.
Their primary concern in the inception of the investigation was keeping the information about Jim's encounter with the DTI Temporal agents from Starfleet for as long as possible. At this point even if Star Fleet became apprised of the situation, it would take long enough to transport Jim to Starfleet Headquarters that they had time to do what they needed to do either way. The more help they had, the easier accomplishing their ultimate goal of convincing Jim to come back permanently and embrace his commission as Captain of the Enterprise would be.
They called every single department head on board the Enterprise as well as any other key member of Jim's staff. All available bridge crew members from every shift who weren't currently on duty were assembled as well and everyone was filled in on exactly what was going on, which took some doing. Fortunately they had several theoretical physicists among the crew members present, which helped immensely with explanation and acceptance of the information.
Within three hours they had one job completed. Pavel had shared the chatroom transcripts with the IT department and they'd been able to determine without a doubt that the three main screen names that Jim had been chatting with and gleaning his information from were not who they appeared to be.
All three of the screen name owners had been former students at Starfleet Academy. Each one of them had been dismissed or dropped out for various reasons and were acquainted with one another. To top it off each one of them seemed to hold a grudge against Jim, though it was unclear why, Pavel had gleaned his information from a variety of sources, most of which were fueled by rumor and conjecture as well. The only official information that he'd been able to hack into had been vague at best. The full official records had been sealed by Admiral Pike, who had used a program devised by Spock and Kirk to encrypt the records so that they could not be hacked into and Pavel had been unsuccessful in his attempts to do so.
Spock of course had refused to try to hack the records himself, stating that it would be against Starfleet regulations and that Admiral Pike himself would be aboard the next day. They would discuss their findings and the situation with the Admiral and if the information was deemed necessary, the Admiral would most likely disclose the information to them unless it was classified.
The guilty parties had routed their IP addresses through several channels and had all started fake chatrooms within the Academy. It was unclear as to what their motivation was, other than to further slander Jim and the Enterprise by starting various conversations within the chatrooms in an attempt to get some of the actual academy students wandering into these chat convos to jump on the bandwagon and believe the slanderous lies they were spreading.
"It's a damn shame Jim didn't look into this further instead of taking what they were saying at face value," Leonard stated. "He's the one person that would have been able to hack those records and find out what the real motivating factor behind all of this. You haven't been able to come up with any reasons Pavel?"
"No, none which I can warify. Zer are rumors and speculation of course, most of which point to Hardy, Kent, and Sandusky hawing some kind of grudge against ze Captain, or ze Enterprise, or both. No one seems to know for sure. Their dismisals were kept wery hush hush. It eez rare zat students are actually dismissed for conduct unbecoming. Most applicants are wery well screened before acceptance."
"Jim wasn't. His background alone should have prevented his acceptance," Sulu pointed out.
"I believe Jim's acceptance was due to Admiral Pike's personal voucher and insistence. Though he was only a Captain at the time, he was in charge of recruitment and his opinion carried a heavy weight with the Academy Admission Board. He saw something in Jim that he felt Starfleet needed, and to his credit, I believe he was right."
"Aye, I ken bet that we all do Mr. Spock," Scotty chimed in, to which the entire room voiced their agreement.
"Regardless of the motive, we at the very least, have enough evidence to present to Jim to prove that the conversations he based some of his assumptions, conclusions and opinions on, were indeed falsified."
"That alone should be enough to rattle his cage. He's on the verge of changing his mind now. Plus we've got all these other statistics to go on to prove to him that his recruiting numbers were coincidence. He couldn't have factored in Academy graduation times, or the fact that we'd all gone to the Academy department heads and changed our submission guidelines for new recruits. We all did that separately without knowing the rest of us were doing the same after all, and all of that paperwork went through Spock. Jim would have taken his word for it that it needed to be signed off on and just signed it without reading it."
"I believe he skimmed the different requests, but as I submitted them to him all at once – along with several other forms that needed his signature, I doubt he payed much attention to the content. As you stated Leonard, he does trust my judgment implicitly where these matters are concerned."
"So what you are saying is we could really pull one over on him and sneek something past him if we wanted."
"You could not."
"But you just said…," Sulu interjected.
"I said that Jim trusts my judgment implicitly, because he knows I would do no such thing. You did not take into account that I would never allow anyone to 'pull one over' on the Captain."
"I wasn't saying anything bad Spock, I was just saying if we wanted to get him to sign off on a requisition form for say….party supplies… so we could throw him a welcome back party or something… you could get it past him and he'd never know that was what he was signing."
"I see. I would allow that."
"See, now you're talking my language."
"We have been conversing in Standard during the duration of this conversation."
"Okay now you are just messing with me."
"I hate to cut your little soiree conspiracy short, but we've got more important things to discuss here gentlemen," Nyota broke in. "Bottom line, are we ready to confront Jim with all of this tomorrow?"
"We need to talk to Admiral Pike first. Also I think we have a bit more digging to do on the numbers Jim came up with concerning Enterprise casualties vs. Fleet wide casualties, which I still say comes down to Enterprise being the flagship and having more dangerous first contact missions by virtue of being the flagship. I think the other ships have just been assigned more busy work than we have. You don't get too many casualties doing cargo runs between outposts, or supply runs to New Vulcan."
"Aye, I'd say your right there Leonard, I've got IT and Security compiling the data on all the fleet wide assignments over the last 9 months right now" Scotty declared.
"We're still gathering the casualty information. I want every casualty accounted for and explained so that Jim doesn't have any room for argument. As soon as the last reports come in I'll forward them to you Hoffman," security chief Dom Giotto said to the head of IT.
"Thanks Dom, we already have all of the assignments compiled and loaded into the database. We'll have a working spreadsheet up by tomorrow afternoon at the latest that will correlate everything in black and white. Like Dom said, it won't leave Jim any room for argument, and from what I'm looking at so far Dr. McCoy, you're right about your assumptions. By in large Enterprise has been handling more dangerous assignments, and simply because we've been out here in deep space trying to rebuild the federation and make first contact with new species, we've had more run ins with hostile alien races, which have not been limited to Klingons and Romulans." Hoffman explained.
After another half an hour of discussion it was clear that they'd exhausted their efforts for the day, but that they would be ready to talk Admiral Pike and then to Jim by the next afternoon. It was a huge relief to them all to know that they had ample information to debate Jim's assumptions or flat out disprove his information.
As everyone filed out of the conference room, Leonard and Spock headed towards Spock and James' quarters to fill in Christine and get James tucked in for the night. James was in the bedroom playing with little Spock when they arrived. They gave Christine the high points and as Leonard had a few other things to talk to her about, Spock headed towards the bedroom to let James know they were back, but stopped short when he heard the conversation James was having with his bestest bear friend. He quickly motioned for Leonard to join him, and Christine quietly left them to their fatherly duties.
It was clear to both men that James was in the middle of a deep and serious conversation with the bear, and that it shouldn't be interrupted. It was also clear that they needed to hear what was being said, so despite the illogical nature of eavesdropping and invading James' privacy, that was exactly what they did as the stood outside the bedroom door quietly listening to the ensuing conversation.
"Anyways Little Spock, I guess what I'm tryin' ta say is, I think Jim's about done bein all emo and whiney and, what did that one IT guys say? Oh yeah, thanks Little Spock, 'wallowing in self-pity'. I ain't so sure what that means, but I do know he knows everybody is right an he's wrong, an you an me know what that means. It means I can't not stay here no more a cuz of the rules and stuff," they heard James sniffle. A quick peak confirmed that he was hugging the bear tightly and was close to tears.
"I don't wanna leave you Little Spock, I hope you know that. You're my bestest bestest friend in the whole world, and I'm gonna miss you so much. I'm gonna miss everybody so much, even if I can't not miss nobody on account I don't exist no more. But I'm specially gonna miss you, and my Bones, and my Papa," he continued, heaving a big sob at the mention of Leonard and Spock. Leonard was near tears himself at this point and nearly rushed in, but Spock could tell how important this was, and that James needed to finish, no matter how hard it was for his stand in parents to hear.
"I'm sorry Little Spock, I din't mean ta start cryin'. I don't want you ta start cryin'. I'm sposed to be bein' brave so I can help you be brave, cuz see, you got a big job ta do now, and you gotta do it no matter how sad you are okay? We talkeded about this affor. When I leave and Jim comes back for good, even though that's what everybody wants cuz they need Jim ta be Captain again, it's still gonna be hard for them cuz I'm gone. An it's gonna be hardest on my Bones and my Papa so I'm gonna need you to take real good care of them for me. Specially my Pappa, Little Spock, cuz he's gonna be so flicted bout losin' me but getting' his Jim back, an you know he's a Vulcan and thinks he can't not show no emotion and be sad and cry an stuff, but he's gonna wanna cry I bet, when nobody is lookin' so that's when you gotta be there for him and take care of him and help him member me and stuff okay?"
"Aw hell, I can't take it anymore," Bones grumbled and plundered into the bedroom where James was now openly sobbing as he comforted his bear. He climbed up onto the bed with his would be son and cradled the man in his arms as if he really was a child.
Spock wanted to join them, but the things that James had said were really sinking in and he realized he needed some time alone to digest them. He quietly snuck in only momentarily, to kiss James lightly on the head and inform Leonard that he was going to be on the observation deck for a while. Leonard just nodded and motioned for him to go.
By the time he returned nearly an hour later, James and Leonard were both fast asleep on James' bed, so he left them where they were, covered them up, and quietly crawled into his own bed and fell into a fitful sleep of his own.