My Life Had Stood

Chapter 16: Spencer's Date Part 2

Spencer browsed through the store's selection of books, many of which were modern novels or reprints of classic texts. He searched through the aisles, taking his time and pulling out some of the titles that seemed interesting.

Alsie at first followed close behind him, but then paused. Her eyes lingered over a section of books while Spencer headed further down the aisle. She fingered the spine of one of the books.

x

-"Hey, I got this for you." She handed over the wrapped book, smiling. Her eyes searched the face of the person before her as he opened it. "Birthday present."

"Yeah, like that's any..." The man paused, opening the papers that had been folded and placed just inside the book cover. His eyebrows scrunched up as he read the papers. He looked up at her after he was done, his expression indecipherable.-

x

"...Alsie?" Spencer repeated her name, the next moment touching her shoulder. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, fine." Alsie replied, shaking away the memory. She turned back to Spencer, her lips revealing a small smile. But one that didn't reach her eyes. "Did you find any good books?"

"A few. Though I'm still debating whether to buy them." Spencer replied, revealing a stack of five books. His gaze lingered on Alsie, wondering if he should call attention to her micro-expressions and body language. Deciding not to, he instead switched to the book whose binding Alsie had been lingering over. "Oh! That's one of Rossi's books. You're a fan of his? We both work in the BAU, I could get a signed copy for you if you wanted."

"No, it's okay." Alsie smiled and shook her head. "I'm not really into the true crime genre."

"Really?" Spencer made a face, considering Alsie's reply. "Because you just spent fourteen minutes and seventeen seconds just standing in this section. In the same spot, actually, that..."

Alsie touched her index finger to Spencer's lip, the unexpectedness of it quieting him more than the meaning of the gesture. They looked into each others eyes for a few moments. "I, um...knew someone who was a true crime fan. I actually bought him that book before as a birthday gift. I..."

Alsie chewed on her lips, and averted her gaze. Though not before Spencer noticed the glossy sheen of unshed tears.

"I, I'm sorry. I..." Spencer stammered and cleared his throat, not knowing what to say. His mind scoured through the possibilities of what had happened to cause this reaction in Alsie. Whatever the specifics, it was clear she had lost someone. "What happened to him?"

Alsie, hearing the anxiety in Spencer's voice, flashed a small, reassuring smile. "He didn't die. He...he left me. I, um..." She inhaled deeply to steady herself, but kept her face averted downward. So Spencer only saw the top of her head. "I was almost twenty-two weeks along when he left..."

Spencer drew in a sharp breath, his eyes widening. "You have a child? I...where...?"

His breath caught and he almost dropped the books he held when Alsie shook her head.

"Thirty-second week. There were complications during the delivery. I...she didn't..." Alsie covered her mouth, unable to say more.

"I'm sorry. I didn't..." Spencer felt unsure what to say, and felt strange at how affected he was by Alsie's revelation.

Though they had met as children that one time and then a few times as adults, they hadn't spent much time together. Despite that, Spencer felt the same amount of concern for Alsie as he did his team. That sense of connection had been why he'd decided to try dating Alsie.

"If there's anything I can do, I..." Spencer mumbled, feeling a mix of guilt for causing Alsie to remember something painful, as well as worry. He froze as Alsie rested her face against his chest, and he felt the wetness of her tears falling on his shirt. He stuttered for a moment, lost at how to respond, before placing an arm around her. "Alsie, I..."

"She would've been three today..."

Hearing that, especially the distraught tone, Spencer dropped the books he held onto the book shelf and wrapped his other arm around Alsie. He couldn't explain why, but he felt intensely protective of her.

The two of them remained like that for a handful of minutes. The distant sound of the book store's entrance door opening interrupting the quiet.

"Sorry." Alsie mumbled as she pulled away and dried her eyes. "...I got your shirt wet..."

"It's fine." Spencer gave a small smile, and let his arms fall back to his sides. Though it was uncomfortable, having a tear-dampened shirt, he was more concerned with Alsie. "...Are you all right?"

"...As can be expected, I guess." Alsie glanced up at Spencer's face, before averting her eyes to the books he'd placed on the shelf. She smiled as she read off the titles that Spencer had picked: each was either a science or math book, or in another language. "Interesting choices..."

"Oh. Um...Yeah." Spencer studied Alsie as she picked up each book and skimmed through them. He chewed on his inside cheek, his brain lingering over whether Alsie was all right or not. Or as she had put it: as well as can be expected. "Um, like I said I don't know if I'm going to buy all five of them. I...um, I'm actually don't have any empty space on my bookshelves at home. So I should probably buy another bookshelf first."

"Why not build one?" Alsie replied nonchalantly, still leafing through Spencer's selections. The one she currently held was in French.

"Build one?" Spencer gave a nervous laugh, as he took back the books Alsie had finished leafing through. "Uh, well, I...um..."

"...um?" Alsie glanced back up at Spencer, her eyes still a bit red from crying. "Not good with your hands?"

"Uh, well the percentage of times I tried building something and didn't end up accidentally injuring a finger or toe is pretty low." Spencer replied and took back the last book from Alsie. He noted that she had once more averted her eyes away.

"Uh, I...all right." Alsie pulled in her lip nervously, her cheeks slightly tinged red. "I am so glad you didn't take what I said in any other way than you did."

Spencer furrowed his brow, confused. "What other way was there to take it?"

Alsie gazed up again at Spencer, her umber brown eyes surveying his face and confusion. "Um, well there...ahh, never mind."

She pursed her lips, attempting to think of another topic. Though she instead started wondering at Spencer's obliviousness to the possible risque meaning of 'being good with one's hands.'

"Are you a virgin?" Alsie blurted out the question before she could stop herself.

"Wha...I...ah...uhm..." Spencer sputtered in response to the unexpected question. His own cheeks growing a bit pink, especially when the first response his brain formulated were facts dealing with virginity and such.

"I'm sorry, that's a completely inappropriate question. I...sorry, I..." Alsie covered her face, her effusive apologizing distracted Spencer enough to stop himself from blurting out facts about virginity and such that he'd read.

Instead Spencer started reciting facts about book stores and books, as well as going into detail about the books he had read that week. Alsie listened quietly, a small smile on her lips.

"So, are you two going to converse like a book club or are you going to actually participate in a dating activity?" Shelly called out from the end of the aisle, having just found the two when Spencer had started to talk about books.

"Shel?! What are you doing here?" Alsie turned around, her eyes widened at the sight of her friend. Spencer too was surprised, Shelly's arrival had been abrupt enough and he had been focused on Alsie enough, that he hadn't time to register seeing Shelly before she had spoke.

"Come on. You know I was waiting for you to head to the movie theater." Shelly replied, observing Spencer closely. Her eyes widened as she recognized him. "You're the guy with that roman numeral number..." Shelly smirked, looking Spencer over. "Well it's nice to see one of my set up dates succeeded."

"Um, hello." Spencer greeted Shelly. He suddenly felt a tad uncomfortable, considering he had flirted with Shelly years ago, albeit a bit ineptly. It had been her he'd given his telephone number to, after all. Though, Shelly was also the one who'd set up his cafe meeting with Alsie. "It's been a while."

"Yeah. Five, six years." Shelly smiled, holding out her hand in greeting.

"Um, I don't really shake hands. The average number of germs transmitted through shaking hands..."

"Ok, ok." Shelly interrupted Spencer, and dropped her hand. She glanced at Alsie, who seemed slightly irritated. However, the latter woman didn't respond but rather simply rubbed her right temple.

"Did you follow us?" Spencer asked, while noting Alsie's silence.

"No. But I figured Allie would be here. I mean she picked her current apartment because it's above a book store. So first place to check when looking for her is one with books." Shelly grinned, stepping closer to Spencer. That movement however caused Alsie to place herself between Shelly and Spencer.

Alsie glowered at Shelly. Her burnt umber eyes, hidden from Spencer by their height difference and that she faced more toward Shelly, showed nothing but harshness. Her stare seemed to be able to pierce through her friend.

"Uh, um." Noticing the sudden anger, Shelly stepped back. Her own softer eyes widened slightly as she watched Alsie's glare turn cold. Before she could say anything Alsie excused herself and headed toward the restroom.

Spencer remained silent during the bizarre showdown between the two women. He realized something was up the moment Alsie blocked Shelly's approach, and had noted the drastic change in Alsie's body language. He didn't fully understand why, however.

"Um..." He glanced toward where Alsie had gone, his view obscured by the shelves. His eyes narrowed in thought, he considered the possibilities.

"...I'm sorry about ruining things, I..." Shelly seemed nervous, and wanting to follow Alsie. She also seemed to want to talk to Spencer. "I thought she'd realize I was joking, I didn't think it would be one of the times when..." Shelly suddenly halted her sentence, and instead studied Spencer quietly for a few seconds. She seemed unsure.

"It might not be my business, but Alsie..." Spencer chewed on his inner cheek, trying not to over-analyze things - especially the feeling in his gut. A sudden emotional change could signify many things.

"Are you serious? I mean are you serious about dating Allie?" Shelly asked, not moving her eyes from Spencer's face. After Spencer replied in the affirmative, Shelly gave a sad smile and continued. "There's something you should know...Allie, she...well..."

Shelly faltered, glancing toward the restroom area.

"...you should check on her." Spencer mumbled, reading Shelly's body language easily.

"Yeah." Shelly agreed and started toward where Alsie had gone. She paused, glancing back at Spencer. "Do you know about her childhood? I only know a little of it, but...I imagine developing another personality to forget would be reasonable, especially if that was the only way you could."

Before Spencer could digest and reply to that tidbit of information, Shelly had darted toward the restroom to check in on Alsie. Thus leaving Spencer alone in the aisle. He chewed on his cheek, thinking.

0

Later that night:

Spencer studied his book shelf, the books he'd purchased in his arms. He had managed to fit three of the books on the shelves, but there wasn't any room for the other two. He continued to stare at the book shelf as though searching for a way to fit the last of the books, however, his focus wasn't actually on the shelf.

His brow furrowed as he thought about what Shelly had told him. Both what she had said and what she had text to him afterwards. His fingers tapped the spine of one of the books he held while he thought.

Being the sole person in his apartment, Spencer remained oblivious to how strange it was for him to stand, hardly moving in front of his bookshelf.

'Alsie...' Spencer grimaced as he focused on his memory of meeting Alsie the first time. They had been children, he had noticed her bruises and realized something wasn't right.

Yet he had remained quiet about it. Worse, he had blocked out meeting Alsie in that park.

Though, as he thought about why he would've blocked it out, he recalled that his parents had fought a lot in the weeks after he met Alsie. That may have been the reason behind his blocking the memory.

Spencer breathed in deeply and placed down the two books on the coffee table.

'I could've helped her back then.' Spencer slumped onto his sofa. He closed his eyes, frowning. After Shelly had left to check on Alsie and hadn't come back, he had decided to call her. If what Shelly told him was true, and that Alsie did have a form of dissociative personality disorder, he wanted to help.

Shelly had, however, called and left him a voicemail saying she was taking Alsie home. She'd further stated it'd be best for him to wait a few days before calling Alsie.

Spencer sighed and sat in silence. His eyes still closed while he thought.