(Hello all! Here is chapter 8. This chapter is very dialogue heavy. I hope you enjoy, and I would love to hear how you are enjoying the story so far. Thanks! Jordon.)

"Explain! Tell a man to explain how he dropped into hell! Explain my preference! I never had a preference for her, any more than I have a preference for breathing. No other woman exists by the side of her. I would rather touch her hand if it were dead, than I would touch any other woman's living." George Eliot

JJ

The alarm begins to beep and I try to reach and turn it off. Instead, I find myself wrapped in familiar, pale arms. I look over my shoulder to see my beautiful wife on the pillow next to mine. My heart swells and the baby begins to wriggle inside of me. Emily is home.

I pull further from her and turn off the alarm before turning to face her. I brush a strand of hair from her face and softly press a kiss to her lips. Slowly she blinks awake.

"Mmm. Good morning, beautiful." She smiles and strokes my cheek.

"Good morning. I tried to stay up until you got home, but I had to go to bed."

"No problem. Its important you get enough rest." She kisses the bridge of my nose. "I've missed you so much."

"God I've missed you too." The baby gives a hard kick, that due to our position, Emily feels as well. She laughs, "Oh don't worry, I didn't forget about you little one." She rubs my stomach. "They're so strong."

"I know. Sometimes it feels like they're literally going to kick through my skin!'

She moves her hand so that it's caressing my lower back. "How are you feeling? No contractions, no pain?"

I gently shake my head. "Nope. Little one is still doing okay. I'm tired, but I think that's to be expected."

"And you went to work yesterday and everything was fine?"

I feel something akin to guilt at work in my chest. "No I uh… I stayed home again."

She furrows her eyebrows at me. "But I heard you on the phone in Garcia's office."

"She had patched me in, it was a conference call."

She regards me in silence for a few moments. "But you're going in today?"

I can feel myself begin to gnaw on my bottom lip as I consider the act of leaving out townhouse and making the journey all the way to the BAU.

"JJ."

"I'm just… I'm really tired. And I think I should stay home another day."

"Jayje you haven't left the house in a week. This is getting out of hand."

"I don't understand why it's such a big deal-"

"No I don't understand why it's such a big deal. Why are you so afraid of going in to work?"

"I…" I try to organize my thoughts in a way that will allow me to give a satisfactory answer.

"What is it?" she sighs in exasperation.

"Don't talk down to me." I snap.

She sighs again and tries again in a gentler voice. "JJ I don't want to fight again. Just talk to me. Let me in to that beautiful blonde head of yours."

I close my eyes and turn on to my back, rubbing my belly. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Well start small. What do you think is going to happen at work?"

"It's not work. It's just… outside. Everything outside."

"Outside like nature or…"

"No! Just… Places that aren't here. Aren't home."

"Okay well what are you afraid is going to happen?"

"I don't know. What… What if someone decides to attack the Bureau? And there's a bomb or a shooter?"

"Then we would take care of it. You know I would never let anything happen to you."

I ignore her words. "Or what if on the way there we were in a car accident?"

"Is that really how you feel about my driving?" I know she's trying to use humor to lighten the mood, but it doesn't make me feel better.

"Or what if when we're out at the park someone decides to launch an Anthrax attack? Or I'm at the grocery store, picking stuff up for dinner and some guy comes in because he's angry at women and starts shooting at random?"

"JJ-"

"Don't tell me it doesn't happen! We both know it does! You're not doing anything wrong, living a completely low risk lifestyle and then something happens and suddenly the ground is shaking and 18th street is covered in smoke and you're trapped and you can't get home and-" Throughout this, my breath has been speeding up and the tears that ave been collecting in my eyes begin to fall in earnest, cutting off my horrified, rambling words. Emily pulls me closer and smooths my hair.

"So this is about what happened at Blue Collar? Jayje baby, why didn't you tell me?"

I shake my head, my chest having with sobs. "No it's not… it isn't… The world is just so awful, Em! And I'm so scared that something s going to happen to the baby!"

"Hey… Hey look at me. As long as I am alive and kicking on this earth, I am not going to let anything happen to the baby. Or to you. You know that don't you?"

"Well yes-"

"And all of the wonderful people we work with. Hotch, and Derek, and Spence, and Rossi, and Garcia. They love us so much and they view our baby as an extension of their own families. This baby is already so loved and protected and they won't even be born for another seven weeks!" She caresses my cheek. "And you love this baby so much. Do you think you would be feeling this way if you didn't? This is just the maternal instinct coming out in you, loud and clear. Because you, Jennifer Jareau, are passionate and smart and driven, and you are going to be an amazing mother. I know it."

I lean into her hand and she continues. "Anyways, you can't stay home today." I squeeze my eyes shut. "We have an appointment at the birthing clinic at 2:30, remember? Now that we're in the home stretch she wants us to come in for weekly appointments."

I shake my head, refusing to open my eyes. "I can't… I can't… I won't."

"Baby you don't have a choice. The midwife needs to check the baby and make sure everything is going okay."

"No. I need to stay home."

"No. You have to go to the midwife."

"Can… Could she come here? Instead of me going into the clinic? Midwives do home visits. Maybe Karen could come to me?"

"JJ, no."

"Why not?" I open my eyes and turn my head to look at her. "Why can't she do a home visit?"

She sighs, running a hand through her hair. "Because you can't stay here in the house-"

"Why not?!" I ask more forcefully. "Give me a real reason, Em. Why can't Karen do a home visit? Why can't I stay home until I feel like the world is a little more manageable? Why?"

"Because! Because it's not healthy to stay home! You need to go to work and be around people and have a normal, healthy life!"

"What? So when I'm home on maternity leave I won't be living a normal, healthy life?"

She takes a deep breath. "No baby, that's not what I said. And even when you are home on maternity leave you won't be just sequestered away at home, you'll be taking the baby to doctor appointments, and we'll be going to the park and to the grocery store."

"I just…" I let out a slow breath as tears once again gather in my eyes. "I cannot face going out right now. I… want- no I need to feel safe. I need to feel as if I have some control over my life, and the wellness of our baby, and I need you to support that. Okay? Because you are my wife. And I need to know that you're by my side, no matter what. Especially while I am carrying our child. I need to know that you… That you can love me through this. Okay?"

Emily's mouth is on mine. She kisses me passionately before pulling back. "Jennifer I love you more than I can say." Her voice cracks and I open my eyes to see that she also has tears streaming down her face. "There is nothing you could possibly do that could change the way I feel about you, about our family. If… If you can't then that's okay. We… Will work through this. We'll be okay."

I wipe the tears from her face and she does the same to me, letting out a watery chuckle. "Thank you."

"I'll talk to Hotch when I get to work, and see what can be worked out."

"No I'll call him. And I'll call Karen as well, see if a home visit is a possibility."

She nods and gives me another kiss.

"We will be okay. I promise."