(Good morning! Here is chapter 9. There is some discussion of pregnancy and birth in this chapter. It may not be entirely medically accurate. I am not a homebirth and I've never been pregnant, so I did my best! Any who, I hope you enjoy. Please review!)

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness, of hatred, of jealousy, and, most easily of all, the gate of fear." Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Emily

I walk into work with a thermos of coffee, my go bag pulled high on my shoulder, and no JJ. As I sit down at my desk and log into my computer, I can feel Derek looking at me. I ignore him, sifting through paperwork and files.

"I don't know if you noticed, but you're missing someone."

I sigh and meet his eyes. "She's not coming in."

"Another sick day? Shouldn't she be going to the doctor?"

I brush my bangs away from my face. "She… JJ won't be coming in. For a while."

"Is everything okay?" Reid asks from behind me. I swivel slightly in my chair so that his concerned face comes into view.

"Uh yeah, it's just… She's decided to start her maternity leave earlier than we were expecting. She'll be available to do some consulting and press work from home, but she won't be coming into the office."

"For how long?" Reid asks.

"I don't know. Sometime after the baby is born, I guess."

"Wait you said 'she decided'… You don't agree with her decision." Morgan reasons.

"I want what's best for JJ and the baby, and she thinks that this is it. So that's all there is to it."

"Have you tried talking her out of it? She's going to go crazy being at home."

I scoff at my partner's suggestion. "Have you met my wife? Of course I tried, but she's the most stubborn woman I've ever met. But it'll be fine guys. I mean, she probably shouldn't be close to the action at this point anyways, she's due in seven weeks. Maybe this will be good, a nice relaxing calm before the storm."

"Have you told Hotch?" Reid twirls a pen between his long fingers.

I glance up to the walkway just in time to see our boss come out of his office. He makes eye contact with me and beckons me over with his hand.

"Something tells me he knows." I answer as I leave my desk.

Once inside Hotch's office I close the door and take a seat.

"I take it JJ called you," I say.

"Yes. And while a little bit of warning would have been preferred, we'll of course grant the early leave. She didn't go into much detail on the phone, is everything alright?"

I can't help but laugh a bit. "That would seem to be the question of the hour." I shift in my chair as I cross my legs. "Physically, yes. All of the midwife's visits have confirmed that the baby is healthy and growing. But mentally… She's scared, Hotch."

He nods, his solemn eyes taking in my every move. "That's to be expected. Having a baby is a huge step."

I nod and continue, "But see that's not it. It's not that Jayje is scared of delivery, or that we'll be good parents, or how we'll handle the baby on top of our jobs. Lord knows I am, enough for the both of us. She has always had complete faith in us, that this was the right decision. It took months to get me onboard with IVF, and then after the miscarriage, I had seriously considered not trying again. It seemed like a sign from the universe that I was lucky enough to find my soulmate and I should be happy and leave it at that. But JJ insisted. She's wanted kids since she was a little girl."

"So what's the matter?" I hesitate, not wanting to break JJ's trust. "Emily, you know that anything you say is completely confidential and will not leave this office."

I nod. "She was at the White Collar office the afternoon of the 18th street explosion and now she's terrified to leave the house. She thinks that something bad is going to happen. Which, doesn't make sense, what with the carnage we see everyday."

"But that's different. It's one thing to be a member of the FBI, being brought in to examine a case and put away a criminal. Finding yourself in a scary situation as a civilian is completely different. Not to mention, with the pregnancy, she's experiencing all kinds of crazy hormones that are telling her to keep the baby safe at all costs."

"You don't think she's overreacting, then?"

He rests his chin in his hand. "No, she's just trying to protect her baby. Is it a little extreme to do that by barricading herself in your home? Yes. But she's just trying to make sense of an unpredictable world and preserve a fragile sense of security."

"I can see that, I guess. But I can also see that she's a highly social person who is going to go bananas cooped up at home."

Hotch just grins. "She'll be fine. You just have to wait this out And of course, as I told her, she's always going to have a job with the BAU, whether she comes back on Monday, in six months, or in eighteen years."

"Thanks Hotch." I smile and we sit in silence for a couple moments. "So it's natural for me also to be scared out of my mind?"

He chuckles. "Oh, of course. When Haley was pregnant with Jack I was in a constant state of terror. It drove her insane. When she finally went into labor, I ended up fainting in the delivery room. I woke up a few moments later to her yelling about how I was an FBI agent and I needed to pull myself together. Then a bit later, we had our little boy, and all the fears were replaced with pure awe and joy. Well, there was still some fear, but it was buried beneath all the good."

I let out a shaky laugh. "That's what I'm hoping." I stand to leave his office. "Oh and also, JJ's trying to get her midwife appointment switched around so I may need to-"

He waves his hand. "Just because JJ is at home doesn't mean she's not keeping everything running smoothly. The new appointment is at 4:30, she aready cleared it with me. You're free to leave early to make it."

I give him a wide smile. "That's my wife. What would I do without her?"

"More importantly, what are WE going to do without her?" He jokes. "Oh and Emily?"

"Yeah Hotch."

"If you could not mention the fainting in the delivery room to Morgan… I'd really appreciate it."

I simply smile and shut the door behind me.

I pull into the drive way at 4:25. Walking through the front door, I welcome the warmth and the smell of Italian food wafting from the kitchen.

"Jayje? I'm home!" I call as I sit my bag down by the front door and set my keys on the table. I find her sitting on the couch, reading a book. I lean over and kiss the top of her head. "Something smells delicious."

"Hey! Well, I can't really take that much credit, its a frozen lasgana. But I will say, I feel that I did a pretty spectacular job of preheating the oven."

"Such talent! Such finnesse!" I call over my shoulder as I go to lock my gun in the safe. I plop next to her on the couch and wrap my arms around her.

"Did you have a good day?" she asks.

"I did. Everyone asked about you. They already miss you."

"Aw. Well I miss them too. Although it's not like I won't see them."

"Very true. When I told Garcia, she said to have the guest room prepped, locked and loaded because she's staying overnight the next time I get called out on a case."

"Sounds like a plan, bring it on."

The doorbell rings and I rise from the couch to go answer it. "Oh and Hotch told me a very entertaining story about him fainting in the delivery room, remind me to tell you later."

I pull open the wooden door and let Karen in out of the cold. "Hello, hello!" She cheerfully calls out. She is a tall, warm woman, with skin the color of milk chocolate. Her long braids are held back in a clip that matches her tortoiseshell eyeglasses. Everything about her puts me at ease, making me feel like nothing could possibly go wrong.

"Emily darling, so glad you could make it!" She kisses me on the cheek then bustles past into the living room. "Oh what a beautiful home! And is that spaghetti I smell? You two are too precious."

"Lasagna, but yes." JJ stands and accepts a hug from the midwife. "Karen thank you so much for agreeing to do my appointment here, I really appreciate it."

"Oh think nothing of it! Truth be told, I like home visits more anyways. When Mom is comfy and cozy, so is baby. Now let's get to it shall we?" With that she gets JJ situated on the couch, shirt pulled up to reveal her beautiful round stomach. She performs several tests, measuring the span of her bump, administering a physical exam, and listening with special stethoscope.

"Have you experienced bleeding or spotting of any kind?"

JJ shakes her head. "No, nothing."

"And no fever?"

"No… Is everything okay?" she asks.

Karen nods but her face is very focused. "Sure honey, I'm mainly asking because well, I'm a midwife, and my job is to ask the same tired questions over and over. But also… Tell me, how does breathing feel now, as opposed to a few weeks ago?"

JJ glances at me. "Uh, better actually. For the past month or so it's been difficult to get a good deep breath but now it feels like I have room in my chest again."

Karen nods. "Hmm. Alright. So what you're describing to me sounds like lightening. It's when the baby drops further into the birth canal to prepare for birth. Now, this is our first baby, so it's typical for this to occur one to four weeks prior to birth."

"But we're not due for another seven." I fight to keep my voice even and free of panic.

"Yes I know. Sometimes it's no big deal and on its own it doesn't necessarily mean one thing or another, but you are also just the tiniest bit effaced. Not enough to worry right now, but it's definitely something we need to keep an eye on."

JJ and I make eye contact and I squeeze her hand. "Now there's no need to look so solemn. Like I said, chances are we're still a good seven weeks out from this beautiful blessing. I'm just saying that it's something to keep in mind. Now, I'm assuming that since you're wanting to switch to home visits you are also wanting to give birth at home as well?" JJ nods. "Okay excellent! I brought all of the literature you will need to read as well as a list of things you will need to stock up on. I'll bring most of the big things, you really just need to have absorbent pads, a waterproof mattress pad, towels that you won't mind throwing out, stuff like that." She hands me a folder and I begin to slowly begin to leaf through the material.

"That being said, I do want to warn you that my cut off date for home births is 37 weeks. If you go into labor before then we will need to transfer to the birthing center or a hospital."

"Why?"

"It's just a precaution. A lot of the time babies born before 37 weeks need a little help breathing properly, and I just feel more comfortable if we proceed in a medical setting. However, I will still be there right beside you, the whole way. And again, chances are this baby's not making a grand appearance for another seven weeks!"

We both nod and smile, letting her warm voice assuage our fears.

"Now I better get on out of here, let you enjoy that yummy lasagna." I stand and walk her out. I come back to find JJ sitting on the couch, chewing on her lip.

"Hey now, don't start that. You heard what she said. Chances are, everything will be fine. All of that is just a back up plan."

"But what if the baby is born before 37 weeks? She said they could have trouble breathing."

I nod. That part had also rattled around my brain, setting of alarm bells. "Then we'll get through it. Because we can get through anything." The timer goes off and I stand, pulling her to her feet. "Now c'mon, let's gorge ourselves on this lasagna and bask in your preheating prowess." She giggles and presses a kiss onto my cheekbone as we walk into the kitchen.