A/N REAL QUICK: Spoilers 3x01. And I don't mean to offend of hurt anyone's feelings with any of the jokes made here. This is what teenagers act like and say.
Quinn Fabray posted to Kurt Hummel's Wall NO WHORES OF ANY EMOTIONAL STATE!
Kurt Hummel likes this
Kurt Hummel No cheery whores?
Quinn Fabray or miserable ones.
Blaine Anderson ... I feel like I missed something. (Finn Hudson likes this)
Quinn Fabray I'm curled up with your boyfriend in his bed, reading everything on damn you auto correct .com
Blaine Anderson :( Quinnyyyy, you stole my spot. (Kurt Hummel likes this)
Quinn Fabray Yes, but if you were in Kurt's bed while all alone in the house, you wouldn't be on the internet. (Rachel Berry, Mercedes Jones, and 4 others like this)
Santana Lopez Sometimes, even I get tired of commenting 'Wanky wanky!' on Kurt Hummel's Wall. (Kurt Hummel likes this)
Kurt Hummel Maybe then you'll refrain from doing so in the future?
Santana Lopez Hmm... NOPE! (Puck DaBadass likes this)
Puck DaBadass wanted to kill the sexiest person alive… but suicide's a crime.
Wes Carlton likes this
David Preston watch it.
Puck DaBadass Please, if I rolled that way I'd be tapping Kurt Hummel's ass.
Kurt Hummel So many stupid people and so few asteroids. (Blaine Anderson, Mercedes Jones, and 12 others like this)
Puck DaBadass That is, once I got him to admit that he's totally turned on by me.
Kurt Hummel Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning. (Blaine Anderson, Mercedes Jones, and 2 others like this)
David Preston This conversation could continue on for quite a while, couldn't it?
Puck DaBadass I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to get up on this?
Kurt Hummel People make the world go around but, at some point, don't you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?
Puck DaBadass Ouch, that would almost hurt, Hummel, but you know what they say about love and hate ;)
Kurt Hummel Oh, you commented again... I see the assassins have failed.
Puck DaBadass Isn't premarital sex supposed to be a 'crime of passion' or something? Hummel should be in jail.
Kurt Hummel I'll show you passion: murder, the ultimate crime of passion.
Puck DaBadass I think you just admitted you're hot for me.
Kurt Hummel I think... and thus we have nothing in common.
Blaine Anderson OH MY GOODNESS SHUT UP!
Kurt Hummel 'Oh my goodness'? Really? (Puck DaBadass likes this)
Blaine Anderson Whatever I have to say to make you two cooperate peacefully!
Brittany Pierce Brittany went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When she got there, she couldn't find the book anywhere.
Santana Lopez, Kurt Hummel, and Blaine Anderson like this
Blaine Anderson Aww... you changed your last name back. (Santana Lopez and Kurt Hummel like this)
Santana Lopez We liked that for totally different reasons.
Kurt Hummel Well played Wally, well played.
Puck DaBadass Sometime I wonder why I hang out with any of you. (Puck DaBadass likes this)
Blaine Anderson Did you just like your own comment?
Puck DaBadass I wonder why Facebook bothers to give the option of liking my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I'm awesome!
Blaine Anderson No, you're not, dude, don't lie.
Rachel Berry Sigh.
Kurt Hummel You're telling me.
Puck DaBadass has decided that if women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
Finn Hudson, Wes Carlton, and 18 others like this
Rachel Berry That's incredibly rude, Noah! (Quinn Fabray and Lau Zis like this)
Kurt Hummel *cough* kind of true *cough* *cough* (Blaine Anderson and Finn Hudson like this)
Rachel Berry KURT HUMMEL!
Kurt Hummel I'm innocent. I was having a random coughing fit, but I'm all okay now.
Santana Lopez Why must guys be so pigheaded? *rolls eyes*
Blaine Anderson Well, that's why you don't like them!
Santana Lopez Anderson...
Blaine Anderson Wow! I don't know where that came from! Who said that? I don't know...
Santana Lopez Really? (Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, and 4 others like this)
Blaine Anderson Yes :)
Blaine Anderson posted to Kurt Hummel's Wall StalkingChicken to TwinkleButt, do you read me?
Kurt Hummel If you ever call me TwinkleButt again I'm breaking up with you. It's the most embarrassing thing I've ever been called.
Rachel Berry And that's a really high bar. (Kurt Hummel likes this)
Blaine Anderson That's a horrible thing to say! (Both of you).
Kurt Hummel I said it first, after we got away from that horrible meeting of Midwestern kids aimed at NYADA *shudders*
Blaine Anderson It couldn't have been *that* bad. I don't think I've ever met a girl who sang better than Rachel.
Rachel Berry Harmony. She has credits. In-utero credits.
Kurt Hummel They're like the same person. They could be long-lost twins (more in attitude than appearance). It was quite scary, to be honest. Imagine a world with two Rachels...
Blaine Anderson That's two more Rachels than I can handle now! (Kurt Hummel and Finn Hudson like this)
Rachel Berry And here I thought you had class...
Wes Carlton Nope!
Wes Carlton posted to Kurt Hummel's Wall I completely hate you for stealing our star. We've been submerged into madness and disorder. I hope you are happy. That being said, YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE!
Kurt Hummel I'm thrilled actually, thanks Wes.
Wes Carlton Haha. Did you know Kendrick could sing? He's a *beast*.
Kurt Hummel Keep talking, Wes, I'm sure Rachel is writing down every word.
Wes Carlton Whoops...
Kurt Hummel loathes the idea of a camping trip with a passion. Why didn't we go in the summer? It's *cold* out there, and I don't do cold well.
Rachel Berry, Blaine Anderson, and 6 others like this.
Finn Hudson IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME DUDE!
Kurt Hummel I don't understand what is 'awesome' about a tent, a sleeping bag, cold nights, excess bugs, no showers, and no caffeine. (Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray, and 14 others like this)
Finn Hudson Come on! It's gonna be totally fun. We get to share a tent!
Kurt Hummel I'll tell you once, I won't tell you twice, I have no interest in sharing a tent with your snoring butt.
Puck DaBadass Not even Brokeback Mountain style? (Wes Carlton likes this)
Kurt Hummel Why, exactly, is it that you've seen Brokeback Mountain, Puckerman?
Puck DaBadass Dude, everyone knows that's the gay ass-sex movie.
Finn Hudson WHAT!
Kurt Hummel Dear Jacobs, please let's not have a regression to the point at which Finn was worried about me molesting him in his sleep.
Puck DaBadass You're too much of a prude to molest anyone, even if they like it. (Santana Lopez likes this)
Finn Hudson Dude... I never thought you were going to molest me. You're too tiny to molest me.
Puck DaBadass Haha... alternate meanings.
Blaine Anderson Finn: You do realize, of course, that a weekend with a caffeine-less Kurt is going to be like the deepest circle of hell, correct?
Puck: First + second comment, no one really knows what down in the tent. Third comment, you really shouldn't assume ;) Fourth comment, haha... no.
Kurt Hummel BLAINE!
Blaine Anderson Oh crap. Now that I go to school at McKinley, I can't just hide away until Kurt's not mad at me anymore... time to drag out the cute pout. (Rachel Berry and Molly Finn like this)
Rachel Berry What's the most romantic thing you've ever heard?
Finn Hudson, Blaine Anderson, and 10 others like this
Puck DaBadass "Girl: How much do you love me? Boy: Look at the sky and count the stars, and match every one with a reason that I love you."
Rachel Berry That's so sweet! (Brittany Pierce likes this)
Puck DaBadass continued: "Girl: But, it's daytime... Boy: Haha, exactly."
Rachel Berry I should have expected that.
Kurt Hummel ... you know what I'm thinking.
Rachel Berry Why, of course :)
Blaine Anderson Could you two stop being brain-twins for like five seconds *please*!
Rachel Berry Brain-triplets, with Harmony.
Kurt Hummel We try not to think about her. "You are my best friend, my shoulder to lean on, the one person I know I can count on, you're the love of my life, you're my one and only, you're my everything."
Blaine Anderson ... I don't remember saying that (not that it's not true). (Kurt Hummel likes this)
Kurt Hummel Of course you don't. You didn't say it. Wes did. It says most romantic thing you've ever *heard*, not most romantic thing ever *said to you*.
Blaine Anderson Wes? Like... our Wes? Our crazy-lunatic-with-a-gavel, Wesley Carlton?
Kurt Hummel I was surprised too.
Wes Carlton Rude.
Blaine Anderson "I just want to see you more. I want my senior year to be magic and the only way that's gonna happen is if I get to spend every minute of every day with you."
Rachel Berry Gee, I can't fathom who said that :) *hearts*
Finn Hudson is wondering if Kurt Hummel will ever stop bothering him about the... what was the latest name?
Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, and 23 others like this.
Wes Carlton Oh, Kurt. How I miss you! *hearts*
Kurt Hummel 'The-Kiss-that-Missed,' though I'm sure I can come up with a better name than that.
Santana Lopez Why is the T-Rex eating the Jew?
Blaine Anderson... And here I was, thinking that if I joined the club, I wouldn't miss as much. Lo and behold, I am still completely lost (Finn Hudson likes this)
Finn Hudson Join the club
Kurt Hummel Finn is the founder of that club (Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, and 4 others like this)
Rachel Berry Be nice to Finn! *hearts*
Quinn Fabray Excuse me while I vomit.
Santana Lopez Are you bulimic now too?
Kurt Hummel posted to Rachel Berry's Wall 'Me and my Hag.' Enough Said.
Rachel Berry and Blaine Anderson like this
Rachel Berry That is far from the only dating combination the Glee club hasn't tried. Though, "you make me want to be your boyfriend."
Kurt Hummel Only Rachel Berry, one-of-a-kind, would quote herself. Anyway, did you see the picture on the front? I was torn between insulted and about to pee my pants laughing.
Rachel Berry You just quoted yourself, and I think I liked being Velma and Roxie better :)
Kurt Hummel It's a consensus by many. If only I hadn't been so off!
Rachel Berry Agreed. Now my question is, where did you get collapse-able brooms?
Kurt Hummel "Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."
Blaine Anderson You have been spending far too much time with me. (Rachel Berry likes this)
Rachel Berry Gay high-five!
Kurt Hummel *hearts* (to both of you). By the way, the bowties are very cute (Rachel Berry likes this)
Rachel Berry The swag and very-40s cheesy winks are my favorites (Kurt Hummel likes this)
Blaine Anderson Oh goodness, you two are turning into that type of best friends!(Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel like this)
Santana Lopez Super sexy ;)
Kurt Hummel Mmm-hmmm... ;)
Blaine Anderson Not so bad yourself Miss Lopez.
Sanatana Lopez Why thanks you ;)
Kurt Hummel Mine.
Santana Lopez Where's my straight copy?
Rachel Berry Do you think Blaine Anderson is a good addition to the New Directions?
Yes - 34%
No - 45%
Maybe? - 21%
Blaine Anderson love you guys too... :(
Kurt Hummel GUYS! Rachel, how dare you. After Jesse? Really? (Finn Hudson likes this)
Wes Carlton Relax, homeboys. The negatives are us, wanting you back (both of you, but we know we can never have Kurt). (Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, and 12 others like this)
Blaine Anderson Oh... haha
Kurt Hummel Wes, you're Asian, not African-American. Stop saying 'homeboys.' It's even embarrassing from two hours away (David Preston, Blaine Anderson, and 22 others like this)
Wes Carlton Love you too
Finn Hudson I'm totally cool with it as long as there's no ball-hogging. (Artie Abrams likes this)
Kurt Hummel Says *you*!
Charlie Shields Hogging Kurt's balls? What? (Santana Lopez likes this)
Finn Hudson ... I'm gonna hurl.
Kurt Hummel Really, Charlie? Really? I think he just actually threw up.
Charlie Shields How charming. "You're sooo talll" and staggers off drunkenly.
Blaine Anderson Oh hush. I can't believe you told him about that.
Charlie Shields I assure you, Kurt told me *everything* about that party ;) (Kurt Hummel and Rachel Berry like this)
Blaine Anderson Kill me now
Charlie Shields You love me :) And Kurt.
Blaine Anderson Well, that's a given *hearts* (Rachel Berry, Mercedes Jones, and 41 others like this)
A/N (Again. Sorry): I figured out what I'm doing with this story. This will be my personal vent area for things that happened in new episodes, making jokes out of what I both loved and didn't like (try to tell the difference). So... yeah. Small Harry Potter reference, in case anyone missed that.
Reviews are Love.