Ch. 3 Switzerland's Secret Journal
Oct. 1,
Well, today my worst fears are realized. Raivis, Emil, and Peter all came over to "play" with Lili. I know I shouldn't worry about Raivis, but peer pressure might get to him. There's nothing worse than having three guys over to see your sister. It's not right. All hell will break loose. The Earth will crumble, cities will shake, and the sky will fall! (That's not a dramatization) and just to make sure nothing happens to Lili, I scheduled the world meeting at my house. Then Lili can't be alone with three boys. There will be so many other people to protect her. It's 100% fool-proof!
Oct. 2,
Now I remember why I don't like having the meetings in my house. Sure, it kept those guys away from Lili, but my place was a wreck! These meetings are supposed to be formal, but always turn chaotic! Francis was there, but had to be handcuffed to the table. But that didn't stop Arthur from getting in a fight with him. It was all madness! Alfred left his McDonald's wrappers everywhere. I found tomatoes in my toilet! What was Antonio doing in there? My house is even messier than last time. I'm going to have to find a better way to protect Lili from the wrath of three pre-mature boys.
Oct. 7,
Well, after five days, my house is finally clean. It wasn't easy, tomatoes are hard to scrub. I had Rodderiech help (it was all Elizaveta and Lili's idea). He didn't really help, all he said was "You need to be more assertive towards other people." says the guy who ended up with ketchup inside his piano when he hosted the meeting (it was Alfred's ketchup). Why do Lili and Elizaveta think it's such a good idea to have the two of us do stuff together? They were both there, too. They saw us arguing over who gets to pick up Alfred's half-eaten burger (his saliva was still on it). People are gross!
Oct. 8,
I finally found out a way to protect Lili from those three guys. All I have to do is warn her about the dangers of "dating" three guys at once. So I told her that she needs to be careful around those guys, and then she told me she's not looking for a relationship with any of them (she was probably lying about Emil). Gilbert offered to give her "the talk" so she'll understand better. I screamed at him, "NO! I DON'T NEED YOU CORRUPTING LILI'S MIND! KEEP THE HELL AWAY FROM HER!" I'm sorry for raising my voice at him, but the Bad Touch Trio doesn't need Lili as its newest member. If Gilbert were to give her "the talk", she would end up like Francis, and no one needs that.
Oct. 9,
I took Lili to the supermarket with me to get some groceries. The strangest thing happened there. I was pushing the shopping cart, and I bumped into Ludwig's cart, and Gil was in the child seat. I tried not to start any conversation. Ludwig seemed too annoyed to talk, although Gilbert had a pretty good time. He tried to start up some conversation, but I just turned the other way, and found an alternate way to the cheese.
Oct. 10,
Today, I had to stop Gil from writing in my journal again. I went upstairs to my bedroom, and Gil was there, holding my journal and a pen. He was writing down some untrue lies about me, (I do not spike my chocolate with liquor). There was some inappropriate stuff about Bella, but I'm not going into detail (just because we both like chocolate, it doesn't mean that I want to...never mind). I had to rip out the page he wrote on, since he used pen. How did he get in my house anyway? Does everyone have a key to my front door?
Oct. 11,
Today, I couldn't find my white beret. I was worried because Lili made it for me. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I simply told her, "It's in the washing machine." Eventually, I found it. It was at Ludwig's house. Apparently, Gilbert stole it when he was writing in my journal yesterday. Fortunately Ludwig found it in Gil's room when Gil was at Antonio's house. And now, my barrette really needs to go in the washing machine, there was beer stains on it. But I'm just glad I have it back.
Oct. 12,
Today I took Lili to buy a new hair ribbon. The reason I buy her hair ribbons is because she cuts her hair to look like mine, so people mistake her for a boy (Emil certainly doesn't). I get her purple ribbons because it's her favorite color. She really appreciates it when I give her hair ribbons.
Oct. 13,
Today Gilbert knocked on my door and asked me for chocolate. I told him I didn't, and that I was trying to eat cheese fondue. He told me it would be so much better with bratwurst, I can't recall ever eating bratwurst. But, anyway, Gil wasn't convinced that I was out of chocolate. He didn't leave until I gave him a box. Although I don't know why he needed it so desperately.
Oct. 14,
I tried some of that bratwurst stuff today. I was amazing! It's now one of my new favorite foods. It's even better when you top it with cheese. I gave some to Lili, because I shouldn't hide something that good from her. She loved it. I'm glad Gilbert mentioned it to me. Now I know of such a wonderful food. For once, Gilbert's done something good.
Oct. 15,
Today, someone rang my doorbell. When I opened the door, there was a box on the doorstep, with a note taped to it, it said, "To Lili Zwingli." I took it inside to see what it was. I set the box on the table, but the Lili walked in and said, "What's that, Switzy?" I tried to stop her, but she had already grabbed the box. She opened up the note and read it out loud, "Dear Lili,
I want you to know how pretty I think you are. I love you Lili Zwingli, with all my heart.
Love,
Emil Johansen"
Lili opened the box, which held chocolates. She was shocked because she thought it was a love letter and gift from Emil. But I knew who it was from. I had to reluctantly tell her that Gil was pranking her. She looked disappointed at this, and ran to her room. I don't know which is worse; Gil pranking my sister, or knowing that Lili likes Emil. But I do know one thing, Gilbert Beilschmidt will pay.
Oct. 16,
I got Gil back for his terrible actions. I went to his house and (please forgive me) I took him to Rodderich's house and tied him to a chair. He was forced to listen to him play the piano for eight hours. Every time he made a comment, fell asleep, or something like that, Elizaveta hit him on the head with a frying pan. That'll teach him to mess with Lili.
Oct. 17,
I think Gil is scarred now, because he had multiple lumps on his head today, and he got nervous whenever he heard the word "piano". He's got some type of PTSD* from the whole incident. But I don't feel that sorry for him. He'll probably get over it in like a week. Besides, he had it coming. He does bad stuff to me all the time. Why me? It's as if I'm his number two target for pranking; Rodderiech is number one (sissy). I'm going to observe his resilience by watching his actions, and seeing how long it takes for him to get over the incident.
Oct. 24,
I was right, it took a full week for him to completely heal (mentally; he still had the lumps on his head). He's back to his normal self, but he will think twice about pranking Lili. Anyway, Lili is just fine, now. She was willing to embrace the fact it was a prank. She even told me that she doesn't like Emil that much (that narrows it down to Peter and Raivis) but I'm still keeping my eyes peeled. She might say that she doesn't like Emil, but people are private about that, and she's probably shy about telling me how she really feels (I do that, too; it's not like I tell her that I have a crush on...never mind).
Oct. 25,
Francis is allowed to eat actual food now. His punishment ran a little longer than planned, but that's because he tried to escape, and I caught him. But since he's freed, I took the liberty of buying locks for all the windows in my house. He is not getting into my house again. If I catch him in my house again when I get home, he'll eat something far worse than English scones (if that's possible).
Oct. 26,
I just felt sick to my stomach all day today. Peter came over today to "play" with Lili, and when it was time for him to leave, Lili said, "Bye Peter." and she gave him a hug! I don't know if it's a girl thing or something like that, so I went to the one person who can help me in this area of expertise, Elizaveta. But she just told me bunch of worthless crap! She was like, "Lili is growing up, and you need to accept that." I am accepting her maturing; I don't need Elizaveta telling me how to raise my sister. After all, Elizaveta never raised children. Now did she? I just don't like that Peter kid, or Emil, I would actually prefer Raivis, but he likes Michelle. It's so difficult raising a girl.
Oct. 27,
Today, I wanted to test Lili's compatibility with Raivis, so I invited him over. But what I didn't know is that Lili had invited Michelle. When Raivis walked in and saw her, his jaw literally dropped! He was drooling over her so badly, Matthew thought he stole Niagara Falls! My experiment date turned into a disaster! All I learned from it is that Lili and Raivis are not compatible at all. Why is everything so difficult for me?
Oct. 28,
I decided to give up on Lili's love life. I realize now that it's impossible to let her date who I want. I just don't want her to get hurt. Is that too much to ask? Lately, people have called me "over-protective" about Lili, because of this. So I ask them, "Do you think it's easy being a lone parent?" they tell me I'm not Lili's father, but I might as well be. I do everything for her. And I do give her certain freedoms.
Oct. 29,
Well, Halloween is coming up soon, and Alfred's been acting weird. He dressed up like a zombie to today's meeting, and demanded that I give him candy. I refused, and told him that he's too old to take part in these childish notions. So he walked away and asked other people for candy. I thought people did that on the actual day of Halloween, not two days before. Alfred is such a child, and refuses to grow up.
Oct. 30,
Today was mischief night. So, naturally I expected Gil to do something. And I caught him red-handed. He was right in the middle of throwing eggs and toilet paper at Arthur's house. He thought he was a goner, but instead of punishing him, I joined him. It's about time I loosen up and have fun. Even if I cleaned it all up before Arthur noticed. And because I didn't bust Gil, he spared my house from a coating of silly string. So I'm glad I did what I did.
Oct. 31,
Today was Halloween, so I spent my day handing out candy to children I don't know. But it felt good to make children happy. Even if I had to fork over a chocolate bar to Alfred. Lili went with her friends, but I wasn't worried, Arthur was with them, and he's responsible. I saw Feliciano, too. He got scared, so he was running to Ludwig's house. But it was okay, because he was wearing pants. So I didn't chase him off my lawn. He seemed scared enough, Alfred was chasing him, dressed like a zombie. So I guess it's been a pretty good day. I got to sit back and relax, while everyone else worked. It was great.
*PTSD- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: a state of mind that causes one to have flashbacks and nightmares after a traumatizing event.