Santana Lopez All right losers. Fine. Have it your way. I'm back.
Rachel Berry, Brittany Pierce, and 2 others like this.
Rachel Berry We could really use your voice Santana. You aren't good enough to best me for Maria (no one is), but you would make a wonderful Anita if you set your mind to it. I mean, she ends up bitter and loveless.
Santana Lopez What's that supposed to mean, Willow?
Kurt Hummel Rachel, shut up.
Rachel Berry I didn't mean that would happen to Santana. I just meant that bitter is an attitude she could play well considering she spends 99% of her time insulting the rest of the world to cover up her own shortcomings.
Santana Lopez I will *cut you* (Mercedes Jones likes this)
Blaine Anderson What does that even mean?
Santana Lopez Cram it, Hobbit.
Kurt Hummel All of you shut up. Santana, I'm glad you're back in the club, but don't you dare talk to my boyfriend like that. Rachel, shut your voluminous trap, you're not helping. Babe, shut up.
Blaine Anderson Yes, dear.
Santana Lopez Whipped.
Mike Chang Booty camp was intense yesterday. Most improved: Quinn Fabray.
Quinn Fabray likes this
Santana Lopez I think she's pregnant. I mean, it'd be easy to hide on her
Kurt Hummel Watch it, bitch.
Mercedes Jones I'm not pregnant, Satan. If anyone's in danger of that, it's you
Santana Lopez Please. Stereotypically overweight African-American boyfriends with pathetic half-moustaches are the best baby daddies.
Mercedes Jones Don't you talk about Shane like that!
Santana Lopez We all know they don't know how to use a condom, and neither do the fat, recently de-virginized, if the rumors I hear are true
Mercedes Jones You can cram your rumors up your ass, Santana, or is it already full?
Santana Lopez ¡Cállate, perra, te voy a eliminar al estilo de Lima Heights Adjacent! ¡No sabes con quién estás hablando!
Mercedes Jones Too desperate to speak English, that's just sad.
Rachel Berry Both of you stop it! This is detrimental to the team.
Mercedes Jones You can cram your team up your ass Berry. I'm doing everything I can and no one seems to think it's enough!
Mike Chang Everyone's working their hardest, I think you three just need to relax.
Santana Lopez Tell Mama Jones to relax, because I'm fine!
Mercedes Jones and Kurt Hummel
Kurt Hummel: Are you okay, Merce? You've been... all over the place this week.
Mercedes Jones: How's that your business?
Kurt Hummel: We've been best friends for two years?
Mercedes Jones: Yeah, you weren't acting very best friend like standing up for me at booty camp?
Kurt Hummel: What was I supposed to say, Cedes?
Mercedes Jones: Plus, we all know Rachel's your new 'bestie', and she's my competition.
Kurt Hummel: Rachel could never replace you.
Mercedes Jones: That's total shit, white boy, and we both know it. You both want to go to that same New York school and you're both going crazy over your WSS auditions.
Kurt Hummel: It's important for our futures, but we're not a team for WSS. We would work just as well together!
Mercedes Jones: Bullshit, we all know Rachel's so great because she has chemistry with *everyone*. Plus, if Rachel hasn't replaced me, Blaine certainly has.
Kurt Hummel: We agreed boys would never change us, but now you're accusing me of leaving you for Blaine, and you're letting Shane come between not only you and Rachel, not only you and I, but you and the entire team.
Mercedes Jones: Why do you automatically think Shane's behind this?
Kurt Hummel: Because he *knows* you're a star, just like I do, but he doesn't know what it feels like to be a star and he's giving you the wrong ideas.
Mercedes Jones: You don't know shit about him. And who was sitting beside Quinn and Santana, only one seat from me sitting all alone today?
Kurt Hummel: Mercy, I'm allowed to have other friends. I'm trying to help.
Mercedes Jones: Well, you know what? You're not. So stop.
Kurt Hummel: Fine, Merce.
Santana Lopez wants to let all you home bitches know that Brittany Pierce is in this race for real. In six years at William McKinley High School, we've only ever had male Student Council Presidents. Let's get a little girl power back in this place! The one and only Brittany will be doing a flash mob assembly in the gym tomorrow after school. Be there.
Kurt Hummel posted to Rachel Berry's Wall This flash mob of Brittany's could *ruin* me, Rachel. I can't even do a counterattack and assemble the guys because I'm barely *counted* as a guy!
Santana Lopez You could just withdraw now...
Rachel Berry Not a chance, Santana. Kurt *will* win this race, and we will got to NYADA and be superstars, while you live in Tribeca with your closet-case girlfriend.
Santana Lopez Unless, of course, Brittany wins. Then it looks like you're flying solo, dwarf.
Kurt Hummel She's right. I hate her, but she's right. Maria could make or break you too, Rachel.
Rachel Berry Yes, but I will *kill* at callbacks with Out Here on My Own, and there's nothing to worry about.
Santana Lopez Except for poor, little Kurty :S
Rachel Berry What's that?
Santana Lopez It's a smirk, Hobbit.
Rachel Berry with an audition update.
Tony: Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel
Maria: my wonderful self and Mercedes Jones
Riff: Mike Chang
Mercedes Jones who will be Maria, and we all know Blaine's gonna be Tony. Hummel's kidding himself.
Kurt Hummel Oh, so it's Hummel now, Jones? Good to know.
Blaine Anderson Rachel, are these updates entirely necessary? All they seem to do is spark more enmity within the club.
Rachel Berry It's important to keep careful track of your known competition.
Blaine Anderson ... right.
Rachel Berry I just hope this won't spark tensions between the two of you. It would be such a shame for your relationship to crash-and-burn over a role.
Kurt Hummel I assure you our relationship will be fine, but I doubt you'd be too disappointed that you and Finn would become the power couple again.
Rachel Berry We've always been the power couple. You two are just cute.
Kurt Hummel ... right.
Rachel Berry posted to Kurt Hummel's Wall You just had to prove me wrong, didn't you?
Blaine Anderson likes this
Kurt Hummel They had nothing to do with proving you wrong. I wanted to congratulate my boyfriend on getting the role of Tony.
Artie Abrams For the record, nothing's set in stone. A lot depends on the Maria.
Kurt Hummel Artie, shut up. You told me yourself that Blaine was going to be Tony.
Artie Abrams It wasn't something you were supposed to *share*.
Kurt Hummel I told him I had a mole in the casting office. I didn't say it was you, you forced my hand.
Blaine Anderson For the record, moles aside, I thought it was very sweet :)
Kurt Hummel Your welcome.
Rachel Berry Freakin' roses.
Kurt Hummel Even color-appropriate ones. Yellow as an apology and red for love *hearts*
Rachel Berry Of course.
Blaine Anderson :) *hearts*
Santana Lopez Gag me.
Kurt Hummel ... Moment gone.
Santana Lopez Good.
Kurt Hummel Oh the betrayal. Never ceases to feel like a dagger to the heart or Fisher King's wound that never heals. Perhaps even just as painful.
Rachel Berry NYADA is just as important to me as it is to you, and this presidency will better my chances! I told you I would make you VP.
Kurt Hummel We've already discussed this, Rachel. I have nothing more to say to you.
Rachel Berry I'm not tossing you aside, Kurt. I care about you. You're just as ambitious as I am, we've talked about this. This will be better for both of us by lowering Brittany's lead.
Kurt Hummel I am nowhere near as ambitious as you. You know what? I'm okay with that, because it means I put my friends and family above my ego and *one* school. The fact that you can't do that doesn't make you ambitious. It makes you selfish.
Rachel Berry Kurt, we've always had a rocky relationship, this is just a bump in the road. We can make a change together! Both at McKinley and at NYADA!
Kurt Hummel There's no 'we' in this Rachel, not anymore.
Blaine Anderson Woah, what happened here?
Kurt Hummel Rachel is running against me for Senior Class President.
Blaine Anderson ... Low blow, Rach.
Rachel Berry It's the best for both of us! Kurt just needs to accept that we can still be a team as competitors. We always have been.
Kurt Hummel I'll say it again. 'Whatever it takes' to beat you, Rachel.
Blaine Anderson Rachel, you don't even need it since Mercedes quit the double-casting. Be realistic.
Rachel Berry You're not going to change my mind on this. Whatever it takes.
Kurt Hummel Whatever it takes.
Artie Abrams West Side Story Auditions 2011 Thank you to all of those who auditioned. We are pleased to announce the following roles have been cast:
Maria...Rachel Berry
Tony...Blaine Anderson
Anita...Santana Lopez
Riff...Mike Chang
Officer Krupke. . . .Kurt Hummel
Rachel Berry likes this
Kurt Hummel Congratulations, Blaine :)
Blaine Anderson And to you too. Have to point out: not manly enough to be Tony (who's been played by gay actors for nearly as long as West Side Story has run), but instead the burly asshole of a police officer?
Kurt Hummel Don't make this worse.
Blaine Anderson Sorry :( *hearts*
Artie Abrams Please don't comment on our decisions. They're final.
Mercedes Jones I hope you're happy, Rachel.
Santana Lopez Yeah, bitches!
Mike Chang Thanks, Artie.
Tina Cohen-Chang You did it, Mike.
Mike Chang Yeah. Now I have to tell my father.
Blaine Anderson Congratulations Rachel, Santana, Mike.
Rachel Berry Congratulations Blaine. Congratulations Kurt. (Kurt Hummel likes this)
Santana Berry Congrats Gay 1, Gay 2, Willow, Other Asian.
Finn Hudson Congrats guys :)
Blaine Anderson I can't believe you didn't try out, Finn. Why?
Finn Hudson None of your business.
Kurt Hummel Finn...
Finn Hudson Congrats, little bro.
Brittany Pierce Congrats, Sanny! I'm so proud of you *hearts* (Santana Lopez likes this)
A/N: I apologize that this took forever. Finding episodes has been a big problem for me, so I've gotten way behind. A lot of this will be written and posted during the small hiatus. Pot 'o Gold is already done.
Reviews are Love.