(Hey everyone! It's been so long since I updated! I apologize. I know where I want to take the story but I was having some problems finding my middle. But never fear, because here is chapter 12! Also, my wonderful friend George has agreed to be my beta for a bit, so that's super exciting. Anywho, I hope you enjoy! Reviews, as always, are much appreciated.)

"A life-long blessing for children is to fill them with warm memories of times together. Happy memories become treasures in the heart to pull out on the tough days of adulthood." Charlotte Kasl

It's Sunday morning and Emily is still not home. I'm in the dining room, sweeping underneath the table and listening to an old Judy Garland album. Her smoky voice finishes the last few notes of Little Girl Blue right as there is a knock on the front door. I drop off the broom and dust pan in the kitchen before going to answer it, pushing the hair out of my face with the back of my hand. I pull open the wooden door to reveal my mother on the doorstep. Her blonde hair, so like my own, is held back from her face with a clip. When I come into view she pushes back her large black sunglasses to reveal her soft green eyes. I unlatch the glass door and push it open.

"Mom! What are you doing here?"

"Hey there sweetheart!" She steps over the threshold and presses a kiss to my cheek. "How are you feeling?"

I firmly shut both doors as she removes her coat and scarf. "I'm feeling good! The maternity rest has been good, nice and peaceful."

"That's good, that's good, we're what, five weeks out?"

"Five weeks, five days. Can I grab you something to eat, something to drink?"

"Some coffee will be wonderful, sweetheart."

I pad into the kitchen and turn on the Keurig. I fill the plastic K cup and slide a mug under the machine.

"Where's Emily?"

"She's on a case out in Iowa."

"Oh, has she been out long?"

I sigh. "Since Tuesday, coming in on a week."

She takes a seat at the table and I place the cup in front of her before taking my own seat. "That's rough, hon. So you're here all alone?"

I smooth the place mat in front of me. "Not always! Penelope's been staying most nights, keeping me company. She actually just left this morning after I convinced her that I would be okay spending a few hours on my own."

"Why don't you stay at her apartment?"

"Well she just has the one bedroom, so it doesn't make sense. Plus, this far along, I like to stay close to home." My stomach feels a little uneasy at the half-truth, but really it wasn't a lie.

"That's fair." We sit in silence for a while as she sips her coffee, taking me in. "Pregnancy becomes you, Jenny."

"Aw Mom," I blush good naturedly.

"No, I mean it. Your hair is fuller, your skin is practically glowing. Although you are a little pale."

"Well it's a little hard to go on my usual runs in the park," I remind her, gesturing to my large stomach.

"I know. Are you excited?"

I run my hands over my bump, smoothing my shirt down. "I really am. Although, part of it still doesn't seem real. I mean wasn't it just yesterday that Em and I found out I was pregnant? Or decide that we wanted to have a family? Or even get married for that matter. The time passes so quickly."

She nods and takes a hold of my hand. "Can I let you in on a secret? That never changes. If anything, it gets worse once the baby's born. One minute you're holding them close to your chest, the next you're waving them down the sidewalk as they head to senior prom. And suddenly, your baby is having her own baby." She squeezes my hand. "I wish your father was here for this."

I give her a small smile. "Me too. I wish we had been given a little more time together after… y'know after I came out to you guys… and before the heart attack."

"I know sweetheart. But he loved you more than anything."

I nod, brushing my hand under my eyes. "I think he would have really liked Emily, though."

She waves her hand dismissively. "Oh of course. It's hard for anyone to not like Emily. And he would have taken one look at how much you love each other and known that it was meant to be. Not to mention, he's always had a weakness for women who are good at cards."

"What?" I laugh.

"Oh yeah! How do you think I caught his attention? I was a Sophomore server at his senior prom. The theme was… 'Casino Casablanca' I don't know something like that, but I was a dealer at the blackjack table. And after cleaning your father out of every last one of his fake chips, he ended up asking me on a date, and well, the rest as they say is history."

"You never told me that story."

She smiles as she stares into the depths of her coffee. "Some stuff becomes so ingrained in your past you don't think it's worth mentioning, I guess." She lifts her eyes to mine. "I'm sorry if we didn't share more of the good memories with you. I guess part of me thought you and Ros wouldn't really care. And I also that I would have more time."

This time the silence is tinged with sadness. We never really talk about Ros. For the longest time it was just to painful, and then… well, like she said. You don't think it worth mentioning.

"You were pretty young when you and Dad got married, right? And when you got pregnant with Ros?"

"Oh yes. Looking back, we probably should have waited, been a little more financially secure. But we were young and in love, and that's how things were done back then. We got married the summer after I graduated high school." She lets out a loud chuckle. "Oh we had no idea what we were getting into! Our first dance was to 'For All We Know,' by the Carpenter, and I tell you Jenny, looking back we couldn't have picked a more fitting song. We moved into a tiny little house out on the highway, and your dad worked at Pop's hardware store. I worked as a front desk receptionist for a while and then I found out I was pregnant with Rosaline."

"At 18?"

"I had just turned 19 a few months prior. Your dad was still 20."

"I… I can't even imagine. To be so young! Em and I are in our thirties, and most of the time I feel terrified and like we are completely unprepared."

She laughs. "That's probably because you are old enough to know having a child is a huge thing. We were so full of confidence that we had everything figured out."

"And did you?"

"Not in the least!" We both laugh. "But we quickly realized that we were pretty clueless. So we learned as we went along. Which let me tell you, came with a pretty steep learning curve. A lot of my memories from that time are of your father and me, standing in our tiny little kitchen, passing the screaming Ros back and forth, often crying ourselves. Looking back, I realize that she probably had colic. But I was so ashamed that I couldn't soothe my own daughter, and too prideful to admit that there were problems, that I didn't tell anyone. We got through it eventually, but it was a trying first six months."

"How did you treat the colic?"

She gives me a rueful smile. "We didn't. Mainly because there's no treatment for colic really, or even a definite cause. Some babies are just prone to screaming. But just when I had reached the end of my rope, when I had basically told your father that I was an awful mother and couldn't do it anymore, it stopped. And suddenly Ros was smiling and happy and I started to get more sleep and things were okay."

"Did I have colic?"

"Oh no! You were an easy baby. Of course, when you were born I was 25, so I was more mature and level headed. But you honestly rarely cried. I would spread out a quilt on the living room floor and put you on it while I was cooking dinner or cleaning the house and you would just stare up at the ceiling. Or, more often, stare up at Rosaline. Oh she was obsessed with you. She would get home from daycare and instantly ask about you. We always joked that you had a second little mother." Her eyes have a sad, far off look. "She loved you so much, Jen. Y'know that, right?"

I nod, suddenly choked up. "I do. And I loved her too." I swallow thickly, getting a handle on myself. "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Em and I have been kicking baby names back and forth, and if it's a boy we were thinking Henry, which means 'Ruler of the Home,' which I think will be quite fitting," I joke. "And for a middle name, we were considering Michael, after Dad."

She smiles, "I think that's lovely."

I take a deep breath. "For a girl, we really like Charlotte, which means free, and the middle name Rosaline."

Her eyes swim with unshed tears. "I love it. Beautiful names."

We sit in a comfortable camaraderie for a minutes. She breaks the silence. "Well, since I drove all the way here, we should do something! Have you eaten? We could go out and get some lunch!"

I force my face to stay neutral. "I'm actually not that hungry, but if you are I can whip something up! I think we have some spaghetti noodles, does that sound good?"

"Oh don't worry about it, Jenny. I'll just grab something small on the way. What about going out for a mani-pedi? I can only imagine how swollen your ankles feel right now!" She's right of course. And a pedicure sounds heavenly. But that requires leaving this haven.

"Oh don't worry about me, Mom. Really I'm fine. Let's just hang around here."

"No, I insist! Let's go to a nail salon, my treat!"

"I can't!" The answer comes about much more forcefully than I had intended and she starts with surprise.

I try again, softening with a smile. "I mean, I haven't showered, and I don't really feel like getting all bundled up against the cold. Let's just hang out around the house. Penelope left a deck of cards, how about a few hands of gin rummy?"

She slowly nods. "Okay. Sure honey, if that's what you want." I retrieve the deck from the living room. "Are you sure everything is okay?"

I smile, keeping my face calm. "Of course. It's just nice to stay home."