Ch. 6 Switzerland's Secret Journal
Jan. 1,
I was wrong about the party being fine. I can't really remember anything, but I woke up next to Elizaveta, and we were both half-clothed ('83 all over again). I thought Crap; I hope Gil doesn't know about this. Well I saw him passed out with a camera, he took pictures. I looked at them, and it was '83 all over again. I deleted all the pictures (what they won't know won't hurt them). Then I realized that Lili was at this party, I rushed to find her. Thankfully, she was safely on the couch, sound asleep, fully clothed (except her sock, which was on the table). I didn't want to wake her up, so I wrote a note that said, Lili and I left. –Vash and put it on the table. Then I put on Lili's jacket (without waking her up) and I carried her home (she's so peaceful when she sleeps). I think we've both had enough for one night.
Jan. 3,
I'm fully rested now, since I spent all day yesterday sleeping and lounging around in my pink pajamas. Lili did the same. We were both exhausted (Elizaveta really tires you out when she's drunk). Neither Gil nor Elizaveta mentioned anything, so they've probably forgotten the whole incident. I don't need Gil knowing too many of my secrets.
Jan. 4,
I feel like such an idiot for writing down what happened with me and Elizaveta! Gil read my journal, so now he knows (I'm just glad I deleted those pictures, they were pretty graphic). Knowing him, he's probably already told everyone. Everyone's probably going to look at me awkwardly at tomorrow's meeting.
Jan. 5,
Everyone did look at me awkwardly! Arthur called me a "rapist-wanker". Lovino called me a "chocolate-coated raping bastard". Francis said "We should hang out more!". Alfred said "You're MY hero!". Everyone else just stared, except for Feliciano, who cried because he couldn't open his juice box. I was drunk when it happened! What don't people understand? It was an accident (so was '83)!
Jan. 10,
It seems like people finally dropped the whole incident. I'm glad they forgot what I did (although Elizaveta was just as voluntary as I was). At least I've gotten around with Elizaveta more than Rodderiech has (sissy).
Jan. 11,
Last night, someone was knocking at my door. I opened the door, and Feliciano was there, he kept whining "Vash! Thank goodness you're here! Ludwig wasn't home, and I got scared because I had a bad dream! Please let me in!" Of course I couldn't say no, because Lili was right there, and it was cold and he was shivering. Feliciano is such a baby. He was wearing footsie pajamas, and he brought a blanket, a juice box, and a bag of hard pretzels (What is this? Preschool?). He came in, sat on the couch, and draped a blanket over him. He grabbed the TV remote and started watching SpongeBob Squarepants! He needed help opening his juice box and pretzels. He eventually fell asleep, so I just turned off the lights and left him there. He is such a child, Lili's more mature than him.
Jan. 12,
Feliciano left this morning. Then I went to Ludwig's house to ask him where he was yesterday. He told me he had "important work" to do. But I can tell when people lie, and Ludwig certainly was. He probably went to the bar, or something like that.
Jan. 13,
Today was very disturbing. I was minding my own business, when Lovino came to my front door. I let him in, and he gave me this angry speech (Lili wasn't home, thank God) It went like, "You •••••••! Who the •••• do you think you are? Letting my ••••hole brother stay here! If this ever happens again, then I'll shove your ••••ing rifle up your ••• and pull the trigger! Do you understand?" I told him to go home or I'll tell Antonio that he used foul language. That seemed to shut him up. He went home without saying anything, so I guess Antonio really punishes him for talking with bad language.
Jan. 14,
Lovino wasn't going down easily. I found a note on my door that said It's not over yet, chocolate-coated bastard.-Lovino I think Lili might've found that note, because I left it on the table, and she seemed kind of disturbed for a while. She'll get over it, it's not like it's the end of the world, or anything.
Jan. 15,
Dear Switzy,
I'm sorry for writing in your journal, but we need to talk, and I don't want to see you when your feelings are hurt. You can't look at the world through your gun. I want you to be more social. You don't have to be so over-protective around me, I can take care of myself just fine. I still look up to you, but I want you to make a better example for me. And one more thing, I don't like you keeping all these secrets from me (like '83, because I already know). I never hide anything from you. I hope that you'll take my advice.
-Lili
Jan. 16,
Wow Lili that hurt. I feel awful that you don't think I make a good example. And how do you know about '83, young lady? And I doubt that you don't keep secrets from me? What about you dating Emil! Or Peter! Raivis is ok because he likes Michelle. But if you wanted to tell me this, you could've done it in person.
Jan. 17,
Apparently, Lili isn't dating Peter, or Emil, (or that slightly possible Raivis). She didn't like me making false accusations about her. She wasn't mad, it was sort of a warning. But still, there's got to be better communication between us. It's important that we maintain a healthy relationship, and as her big brother, it's my job to make that happen.
Jan. 18,
I've decided that starting tomorrow, I'm getting advice from a big brother, to learn how to be a better brother. Then I'll get advice from a nonviolent person to help me with my gun problems. Then I'll get advice from a woman on dating confusion. Then, I'll talk to someone to learn how to not keep secrets. Finally, I'll get advice from a loud-mouthed person to learn to be more social. With this five-step plan, I'll become the brother that Lili wants me to be.
Jan. 19,
I went to Wang for advice on being a better brother, since he fights with Kiku, but always forgives him (somewhat). He told me, "If you want to be a better big brother, you need to learn trust, aru." he said that if I learn to trust Lili, then she'll learn to trust me. Then he demonstrated for me. He called Kiku into the room and did a "trust fall", but since Wang's sleeves are so long, he missed, and Kiku hit the floor. Wang apologized, but Kiku just gave him a death-glare and walked away. Step one: complete.
Jan. 20,
I went to Feliciano for advice on being nonviolent. He might not be smart, but he sure knows how to run away from a fight. He told me, "Being nonviolent is easy! Just don't carry any weapons, and eat pasta! Just ask Lovino! We never fight!" then Lovino walked in and said, "Feliciano you bastard! Why are you talking to him?" then he started punching Feliciano in the arm. Feliciano was like "Notice how I don't fight back! But could you please help me? This hurts!" I had to pry them apart. But now I understand nonviolence. Step two: complete.
Jan. 21,
Today I talked to Elizaveta about dating confusion. She told me, "If Lili says she's not ready for a relationship than don't make her feel like she has to. And you don't have to worry, Emil and Peter are nice boys. I also think you should prepare yourself for the day she actually does find herself a boyfriend. It doesn't have to be a big problem, but you make it one." What the hell is that supposed to mean? I swear, Elizaveta gives the worst advice. But I'll follow it, since I don't know any other women to talk to. Step three: complete.
Jan. 22,
Today, I had to learn how not to keep secrets. So I thought that Gil would be the perfect teacher. After he was done making fun of me for being a terrible big brother, he told me, "Secrets are bad for healthy relationship. You should always be honest, because if you aren't, then Lili won't be able to trust you anymore. I'll demonstrate; Hey Ludwig, I used your money to buy beer!" Ludwig responded by kicking Gil in the leg. But I'm not here to learn nonviolence. Step four: complete.
Jan. 23,
I went to Alfred to learn to be more social, because he's a loud-mouth. He told me, "If you want to be social, then you have to talk more! It's not like anyone cares what you say, they just care that you said it! If you talk more, people will think you're cool!" It's not the best advice, but it's not like you could expect anything better from Alfred. But now I'll just talk more at the meetings, I guess. Now that my five-step plan is complete, I'll be the best big brother ever! And Lili will appreciate me more.
Jan. 24,
I'm totally following my new advice! At today's meeting, I talked to everyone! And it was an actual conversation! Then, I got home, and Emil was with Lili, and I didn't care one bit! Later that evening, Feliciano ran across my lawn butt-naked, and I didn't even look at my gun! I also told Lili what happened at the New Year's party with Elizaveta, and Lili said "I'm glad you were honest with me Switzy. But you have to be more careful." She's glad I was honest! This is great!
Jan. 28,
After only four days, I realize that what I've been doing before is like a natural balance. Because I wasn't doing what I used to do, Peter and Emil hang out with Lili too much, Feliciano is stark-naked on my front yard 24/7, Lili knows too many of my classified secrets, and people won't leave me alone because they constantly want to talk to me. I can't take it! I need to restore the world back to what it was, it was good before!
Jan. 29,
Well, I reversed everything I've accomplished. And I'm glad, do you know why? Because I was a pretty damn good big brother before I changed! Everything is back to normal. I'm glad I'm back to being that nasty old mountain hermit. It's fun, and I'm never changing again.
Jan. 30,
Lili apologized for making me feel like I had to change to make her happy. That's a relief, because I'm never going through all that again. It's emotionally exhausting.
Jan. 31,
You know, I really couldn't reverse everything I did. Lili still knows about the New Year's party. I probably shouldn't have told her that. I now realize that when Lili said "no secrets" she still meant we could have boundaries. Oh well, you live and learn. She'll probably forget anyway. I'm just glad that the whole scenario's over.