Chapter 16 – Easing Back

-oOo-

Lorelai has been back in Stars Hollow for four months, and nothing much has changed in her relationship with Luke. Occasionally, he would try to ask her out for dinner, or lunch, or to watch movies at the Black, White and Read, but she would either make an excuse or she ask to bring Rory or Sooke with her. It was hard on Luke that she didn't seem to want to spend time with him alone, but he tried to be understanding.

Sometimes, they would banter and bicker at the diner, as they used to, and Luke would almost feel hopeful. But then, she would catch herself and make a conscious effort to put her walls up again, afraid of getting too close. Luke would notice instantly when this happened and tried not to look wounded.

Lorelai felt terrible, wondering if she made the right decision to just be friends even though Luke was very clear that he wanted to get back together again. She didn't want to lead him on, and she didn't want to hurt him. She still wasn't sure she trusted him again, but she could see that he was really trying.

One night, when the diner was about to close and she was the only customer left, she asked Luke out of the blue, "Have you gone on a date recently?"

Luke started, surprised by the question. "What?"

"I was wondering if you've gone on a date since we… broke up?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Because I wasn't sure if I was clear when we were talking in Maine. You're allowed to date, you know. I… I wouldn't mind. You and me… we're just friends. You can date if you like."

"Why the hell would I want to go out on a date with someone else?" Luke asked, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

"Well… maybe you'd meet someone, you know. I mean someone… who can make you happy," she said, stuttering. "We have such a crazy history and so much baggage… I'm just saying I understand if you wanted to go out, just have fun with someone else, see where it goes..."

"There's no need. I'm not going on a date with anyone else," he replied shortly. "And I don't really want to talk about this anymore, so let's just drop this."

"Seriously Luke… I don't want you… uh, pining around for me. I… I'm still not sure if we'd ever get together again, so if you meet someone…"

"Lorelai, I don't want to date," Luke interrupted angrily, "Because the only reason I date is to see if she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. But I already know who that person is. It's you. So I don't need to get out there anymore to have fun or whatever." He took a deep breath to calm himself down, putting as much tenderness in his words as he can. "Listen, I don't mind waiting for you. I love you, you know that. I'll wait for you even if it turns out in the end that I'm waiting for nothing."

Lorelai looked down at her coffee cup, trying to stop the tears from falling. "I'm sorry Luke. I know this is hard for you, but I just need some time."

"I know that, Lorelai. I understand." Suddenly, a thought popped in his mind, scaring him. "Have you… have you gone out on a date since the break-up?"

Lorelai shook her head. "A couple of guys have asked me out, but I always say no. Chris included."

This was news to him, but he tried to keep the jealousy under wraps. "Why do you say no?"

"Because it's not you."

"Huh," he grunted, confused but relieved. "But you also say no to me."

"I know. I never make that much sense, you know that," Lorelai replied with a small smile. "Maybe the next time you ask me again, I'll say yes."

Luke wondered if this was his chance. He decided not to spend too much time analyzing things and just jump. "Lorelai, can I take you out for dinner tomorrow? And by you, I mean just you – no chaperones this time."

Lorelai stared into his blue eyes, filled with hope and longing. In her heart, she wanted to say yes, but she was still wary. "Luke…"

"Listen – I just want to spend some time with you outside the diner. Just to talk. I miss you, I really do. No expectations. No good night kiss on the front porch if that's what you want."

"Oh it won't be a date without a good night kiss, mister," she replied with a smile. "Pick me up at eight?"

Luke was about to reply but Lorelai had already run out of the diner, much to his astonishment.

-oOo-

Luke could barely contain his excitement when he arrived at Lorelai's house at exactly eight. He knew he was supposed to arrive at least 15 minutes late, but he couldn't wait any longer. He rang the doorbell, remembering the days when he had his own key and would come in whenever he pleased. Those were the days when he would just head straight up to their room upstairs. Not our room, Lorelai's room, he chided himself.

Rory opened the door for him and they stood at the foyer awkwardly. Ever since Lorelai came back to Stars Hollow, Rory would usually visit every weekend and would eat at Luke's, just like old times. They would sometimes even have casual dinners together, on the days when Lorelai would bring a chaperone to their "dates." The only difference was that while his friendship with Lorelai was now cordial, Rory was still very cold towards him. They haven't had a chance to talk much since after the break-up, when Rory blew up on him.

"She's not yet ready," Rory said without looking at him.

He took a deep breath. "Rory… Can we talk? This won't take long."

"Luke…"

"Everything you told me that day at the diner – you were right. It got me thinking. I know I did so many wrong things and hurt you and your mom so badly. I've apologized to your mom, but I've never apologized to you."

Rory was quiet for a moment, absorbing his words. "I'm sorry if I was too harsh."

"No, it was completely justified. I'm so sorry Rory, believe me. I needed you and Sookie and, heck even April, to really show me how much I screwed up the best thing that happened to me."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sure your mom already told you what we've talked about in Maine. I want to get back together with her, but she needs time. She needs to trust me again. I need to prove that she can trust me again. I understand if you'd need time as well. I mean, I don't expect you to forgive and forget just like that."

Rory appeared to be thinking hard. "Luke, you know she still loves you, right?" Luke did not reply. "Please… please just don't hurt her again, okay?"

To Luke's surprise, Rory reached out and gave him an awkward side hug, before disappearing back to her room without another word.