Be prepared. This chapter is in first person and not third person. Hopefully, it's more interesting than the first chapter. I think I'm starting to get into the swing of writing again. So fingers crossed that you like it.
Mate. I had a mate.
Never in my five hundred years of existence had I allowed myself to toy with the idea that I might have had a mate somewhere in the world. After everything I had done, to avenge my family's death, to protect my home and friends from Amarantha, the murdering and the torture, I didn't deserve a mate.
I definitely did not deserve someone like Feyre. Perhaps it was a good thing that she was in love with Tamlin. She deserved to live an unburdened life and if she was happy with the rutting High Lord of Spring, maybe with time, I would learn to live with it. There was a tug in the pit of my stomach and it had nothing to do with my winnowing the hell away from the mountain.
Completely unhinged, I could hardly concentrate on the fact that after fifty years, the scent of jasmine was surrounding me and I was finally home. My knees almost buckled as my mind screamed at me. Feyre, Feyre, Feyre. I barely even noticed as my golden-haired cousin crashed into me.
"Rhys," she said in a breathless sigh. Her eyes scanned over my body to check for any injuries, I assumed. A second passed before she punched me in the arm, hard, apparently deeming me to be in good enough condition to do so. "I am going to pummel you."
I only stared at her, desperation probably clear on my face. "She's my mate."
There were very few moments that I could remember that had left Morrigan speechless, yet here she was, gaping at me like a fish that had been pulled out of the water. To her defense, I wasn't faring any better. Running a hand through my hair, I loosed a breath as Mor collected herself.
"What did you say?"
"I found my mate," I said in a whisper. "And she's in love with someone else. She broke Amarantha's curse, wrecking herself to do so, and she did it all for…for Tamlin."
"Come here, Rhys," Mor said quietly, pulling me to one of the small alcoves that lined the hallway and gently shoved me towards one of the plush chairs before gracefully settling down in the other. "Okay, now talk."
A light breeze rustled the gossamer curtains and I looked out between the pillars at the familiar mountains, mountains that I hadn't seen in decades. Running my fingers over the upholstery that I sat on, I turned back to Mor.
Fifty years. I had not seen Mor in half a decade so I just looked at her. She was unchanged, except she looked older, but it was not because fifty years had passed.
That is your fault too, a little voice in my head said.
In order to protect my court, my family, everything left that I loved, I had chained Mor and the rest of my Inner Circle to the shield that I threw around Velaris before the curse was fully in effect. To protect our city, they had to stay safe within the Night Court. I knew that they, Mor, Amren, Cassian, and Azriel, would have fought tooth and nail to save me. They would have died for me and no matter how angry they were at my decisions, I couldn't let that happen.
Everything spilled out before I even made the decision to explain things to Mor. I was so unhinged, my words became more and more frantic as I told her about the things Amarantha commanded me to do, my dreams of a human girl, meeting Feyre on Calanmai, and my trips to the Spring Court.
By the time I got to talking about the trials Under the Mountain, about the bargain, about Feyre's death, I don't think my cousin was breathing. She was looking at me with wide eyes, once again speechless. When I was finished, I let out a shaky breath, combing my fingers through my hair.
A few seconds passed. "Go get her," Mor said finally. "I'll even hold Tamlin down while you whisk Feyre away. I could use a new female friend. As much as I enjoy Amren's presence, Amren is Amren."
I couldn't help but let out a chuckle, but sobered quickly. "I can't do that, Mor."
"Why the hell not?"
"She'd hate me, Mor. If I steal her away, she will spend the rest of eternity detesting me and I think that would destroy me more than having her love another male," I started. "It took three months for her to even look at me like I was somewhat of a decent person. As long as she's alive, as long as she's happy, I will learn to live with it."
When I had led Feyre to find me after Amarantha had been defeated, she had looked so sad and tired, but she looked at me like I was worth something. That look on her face, something other than hate or disgust, it meant everything. I had almost, almost, let her out of the bargain right then and there, but I had been selfish and couldn't.
"That is bullshit, Rhysand," Mor said through gritted teeth. "You're telling me that you're going to live with the fact that your mate lives in an enemy court, loving its High Lord, sharing his b—"
"Mor," I cut her off so quietly that I was unsure whether she even heard me. "Please. Just please… I don't want to talk about this anymore." I let my head fall into my hands.
I heard her huff in response before soft footsteps approached me; she perched on the armrest of my chair before wrapping her arms around my shoulders. Lifting my head, I placed my hand on her forearm, took a deep breath, and thanked my cousin for her understanding.
"On a scale of one to someone stealing jewelry from Amren, how mad is everyone?" I asked Mor.
"At the beginning, we were all pissed at you for leaving us behind, for chaining us to Velaris, but we understood why you did it," Mor started to answer. "Over the years, I think the anger faded and the fact that we might never see you again hit us. When that happened, we decided that we wouldn't let your decision be in vain."
"Good," was all I said in response.
"Let's go home, Rhys," Mor replied quietly, standing and pulling him to his feet. "I told the others to stay in Velaris, but they're waiting for us."
"I think I'm going to stay here tonight." Seeing Mor was one thing, but facing the rest of his Inner Circle, he needed some time to prepare himself for that reunion. His brothers in arms and his Second in command had waited fifty years, they would have to wait a little bit longer. "Alone."
More nodded in understanding. She placed a comforting hand on my bicep before she winnowed back to Velaris.
Ҩ
I jolted awake in the middle of the night, the sheets around me damp with sweat and shredded under the talons that had clawed their way out. Darkness swirled around me, black and impenetrable. It took a huge amount of effort to rein it all in.
The nightmare would be one that would haunt me endlessly. Just thinking about it had my control on the darkness slipping. The sound of Feyre's neck snapping and the light leaving her eyes, her dying, was the worst nightmare I had ever experienced.
My heart was almost beating out of my chest and though I knew she was alive, I had to make sure. I let my mind slip along the bond that we shared. She was sleeping, relatively calmly it seemed and I let out a relieved breath.
There was no way sleep would find me again, so I took a little time to prepare for my return to the Court of Dreams and the reunion with the last three members of my Inner Circle.
When the sun found its way out between mountain peaks, I winnowed to Velaris before unfurling my wings, flying up to the House of Wind. Landing on one of the balconies, I walked through the set of open glass doors into the dining room where my Inner Circle were eating their breakfast and smiled at the sight.
Azriel and Cassian seemed to be on the brink of tossing food at each other, arguing about something or another. Amren was sitting across from them, picking at her nails with the point of a dagger and smirking at the pair of Illyrian warriors like she knew something they didn't and she undeniably did. Mor was just laughing out right.
Everything seemed so normal, they had survived without me and I was glad, even as my heart ached at the sight.
Sliding a smirk onto my face, I finally spoke. "You four are a sad excuse of an Inner Circle if you can't even detect the arrival of your favorite High Lord."
Comments, reviews, advice, and the like are appreciated! Let me know if you prefer first person or third person for the coming chapters. I'll be sticking to whatever is the more popular choice (if anyone actually has a say). Until next time!