Updated! Hope none of you imploded from the minor cliffhangar (that's directed at you, iluvtheboywiththebread). Glad to see you guys really like this. Happy reading!
Random Disclaimer: I DON'T own the Hunger Games. Nobody take me to court.
This wasn't part of the plan. I was supposed to go to the Capitol, kill Snow, and get taken out myself. If I'm the only person he tries to attack in rage, then I not supposed to hear the words He wants to see you. I start to feel nervous. I'm going to see Peeta. I'm sort of afraid what I'll find. Haymitch has been seeing him. I guess he's getting a little better, if he wants to see me.
"How's he doing?" I ask Haymitch. He doesn't say anything and this puts a sickness in my stomach. "Well?" I say.
"Better, I guess. We won't know till you're there." He says. I look down at my shoes from over my bulging jacket. Oh yeah, about the bulging...
"Haymitch what do I do about the… do you think he'll notice?" I put a hand on my stomach. He sighs.
"Keep the jacket on. We'll give you a blanket or something." He says. Before I can ask anymore, we're there. Haymitch hands me an ear piece.
"We'll be right next door." He says. I take the ear piece and he goes into the other room. I'm in front of the door. I put my hand on the knob and I notice it's slightly shaking. Well, this as far as I got last time. I force myself to turn the knob. I open the door and see Peeta sitting in bed. He doesn't look like he has restraints. I'm kind of happy for it, and then I kind of worry about it. He looks at me, with his blue eyes, complete with normal emotion. Better than last time.
"You wanted to see me." I say.
He motions for me to sit in the chair beside the wall. I sit in the chair and take a pillow form the floor to my lap. I sit there and wait.
"I have some questions I want to ask you." He says.
"Sure." I say.
"What happened seven years ago… tell me the memory again. The one when I gave you bread."
I start with the story again. I've said it so many times before, it feels like it's losing it meaning. This is different. I'm telling the person who was there, but it's sad because I'm the only one that recalls it now.
When I finish, it looks like he's caught in thought.
"I must have really liked you, to get that beating." He says. I don't say anything. He looks at me.
"During the first Hunger Games, you tried to kill me, didn't you?" he says accusingly .
"No, I didn't want to kill you."
"What about the Tracker Jackers? I got a leg wound and you left me by a stream to die."
"No!" I say. "Wait, I did cut the hive, but that's when I thought you were with the careers. I thought you wanted to help the careers catch me. The wound, Cato did that to you after he saw you help me escape. Later, I found you by the stream."
I can see he's tensing up, and I hope he doesn't go into a paroxysm. He holds on to restraints I didn't see there. He clenches for several seconds. I sit there holding my breath. Then it seems like it's passing. He's not going to kill me yet. All I can do is sit there. He begins to calm down. He relaxes his muscles, then it seems like he is studying me for lying, but I'm not, so he won't find anything. "I took care of you. I cleaned your wounds." I say.
"Why?"
"We were a team. I wasn't going to leave you."
"Did you ever think you would probably do better without me? I mean, I was injured wasn't I?"
"I did think about it, but I couldn't let you die, or let someone kill you. I cared about you. I went to the feast and got the medicine even when you told me not to. Sorry for drugging you, but it was to save your life. We both made it out."
I'm not sure that was a good thing. Those berries caused so much. It would probably been better if we both died. I let Cato kill me, and then Peeta would die too.
"Yeah, here we are." He says sarcastically. "Okay, so you risked your life for mine, but all that stuff in the cave was for show, right? Pretty much everything after that was for show also. You didn't really love me. You just wanted to do it because if you didn't, somebody would get hurt." He says.
Why does it matter, don't I love him now? "Yes, I'm admitting I wasn't in love with you like you were with me."
"You loved Gale."
"I did, but…" I don't where to takes this. I could let him believe I never loved him, but I do. I could tell him I do, but how would I prove that I do?
"What?" he says.
"It doesn't have to romantic love does it? I loved you guys differently. Gale had always been my friend, then he admitted his feelings for me. I loved you, because you loved me. You were always the one beside me during the Games, the interviews, the nightmares. We both went through the Hunger Games, and there's no one else I can share the pain with. You saved my life, then I saved yours, but you saved my sanity. I couldn't go on without you next to me. I'd probably be drunk all the time, trying to make the pain go away, like Haymitch."
"Watch it, girl." I hear in my ear piece. Peeta slightly clenches his hands in the restraints, but he heard what I said. He smirks.
"That's Haymitch for you." He says in a low tone. I think that's the first time I've seen him smile for a long time. Well it was a smirk, but it's close.
He returns to his serious expression. "Are you in love with me?" he says completely straight.
He wants to know if I love him, like he loved me before. I guess I should be feeling like he's putting me on the spot. Yes, it still feels like it, but I'm sure I can confidently answer now. "Yes." I say softly.
He raises an eyebrow. "Don't lie."
"I'm not." I say. He's quiet for a moment. He lowers his gaze from me to his lap.
"Sorry to hear that." He says dismally.
What? I'm absolutely confused. His straight expression saddens a little. Does he not love me anymore?
"I'm sorry Katniss, but I… don't know who you are." He says this softly, like he's trying put the most depressing of words softly, so they don't hurt as bad. They still hurt. Really bad.
"You still don't?" I say hopelessly. "You don't have any feeling, or memory of me?"
"I have of bunch these contaminated memories of you, and I can't seem to remember the real ones". He feels bad for me. It seems like the tables are turned from our first Huger Games. I love him, he doesn't know who I am.
It takes a whole lot of strength to stop myself from crying. The stupid hormones are making it worse. Peeta is looking down at his hands. I'm glad he can't see my eyes watering. I quickly wipe them, before he notices. He doesn't say anything more, so I just sit there in my disconsolation for awhile. What now? What is there to say? From the ear piece, Haymitch tells me I can leave if I want to.
"My name is Katniss Everdeen." I say cautiously, to keep my voice from breaking. "I used to live in Seam. I used to live with my mother and sister, there. My sister's name is Primrose and she's 14 years old. I'm 18 now. I go hunting in the woods with my bow…" Peeta looks up, perplexed. "I first saw you when we were little. I met you when I was eleven years old, but I really came to know you at the Reaping 2 years ago." Peeta's confusion is gone.
"I used to take my sister to the bakery, because she liked to see the beautiful cakes you frost. You started painting about a year ago, and you're really good at it. My favorite color is green, and you told me yours is orange."
"Orange?" he asks.
"Well, you told me "sunset orange", like when the sun is going down, and the sky is this deep orange color." I say. I guess he's imagining it, because Peeta smiles a little.
From that moment, I knew it wasn't all gone. There was no way that it could just disappear. We would just have to start over. There was still hope. Peeta and I could be friends again.
I spend about an hour or more talking to Peeta, telling him how District 12 looked, and things I remember about him before the Reaping. At one point while I was describing the town square, he mentioned he remembered the Justice Building. Okay, it's a building, but he remembered it. Haymitch calls me on the ear piece to tell me it's time to go. I say good-bye, as if we just met. I start walking to the door.
"Will you come tomorrow?" Peeta asks.
"Sure." I say. "Around the same time." I walk out of the room and into the one next door.
"How was that?" I say. I seem to have surprised the doctor.
"It' seems he is doing better, but there are still some traces of the venom."
"Will he always have it?" I ask.
"I predict he may. It's hard to get the last traces out of his system."
"Oh,"
"He's still has some anxiety when he's in contact with you. He appears to be controlling it, somewhat, but I don't know if he's safe to leave the hospital yet. It's probably best if he stays here, so that we can have constant supervision."
I hope he's hospitalized rest of his life. I'm worried about the rage, but maybe that will decease. The doctor said he'll always have it, though. In what way, I don't know. I'm hoping that when he does get out, he won't go absolutely mad, and then have to be sent back here.
"At least he's better than when we got him." says Haymitch. "He remembered me, right?"
"I'm sure everyone who ever met you, knows that you drink like a fish." I say.
Haymitch pretends to glare at me.
"Well we're done for today." says the doctor. "I'll see how he is tomorrow."
"Can I see him tomorrow?" I ask.
"Yes, but only with supervision. We don't know if he'll attack you again." He speaks as he leaves the room.
"You heard the man." says Haymitch.
"I'm going to listen." I say.
"Yeah, right." He says doubting. "Just remember it's for his health too. You usually risk your health for what you want to do, so don't risk his also."
"I won't." I say.
"Well, we can only wait and see. I'm going to bed. See you later." He says in his gruffy voice.
I make my way to the boarding cell. All these emotions get me sleepy. The one good thing about being exhausted by then end of the day is that actually being able to fall asleep. And I know I've been having trouble with that.
Thanks for reading and any possible reviews you may leave. Till next chapter.
-cheezebuns