Chapter 18 – Getting to Know You

-oOo-

Lorelai could sense that Luke intentionally kept the conversation light and casual during dinner. They chatted about Kirk's latest business venture, Gypsy and Taylor's loud argument near the gazebo that morning, and Miss Patty's new cardio strip tease class. He was trying to avoid any awkwardness – probably in the hopes that if this date went off well, he'll get a second date.

Though she was flattered by Luke's attentions, she couldn't help but wonder if this was how their relationship would be. For several months before their break-up, she was the one trying to hold on to Luke, trying to shower him with all her love and understanding, trying to keep them together. Now, it was Luke trying to hold on to her, trying to shower her with all his love and understanding, trying to get her to agree for them to be together. Relationships shouldn't be this complicated, she mused.

The first awkward moment during dinner was when Buddy and Maisie came to their table and gave Lorelai a big hug. They thought the two "children" have worked things out and were back together, and Luke had to hurriedly explain that they were not in a relationship at the moment. Maisie turned a keen eye on Lorelai to see her reaction. She saw her look down, take a deep breath then put on a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. The expression on Lorelai's eyes, normally open and forthcoming, now were dim and guarded. Maisie squeezed her hand and walked away to give them privacy again.

After hurriedly introducing other light topics to make up for the awkwardness, Luke said off-hand, "I just noticed your porch seem to be holding well. There was a time I had to do replace a few planks here and there every month or so."

To Luke's surprise, Lorelai didn't reply immediately and blushed profusely. "Oh, um, I actually have a guy who comes in to do minor repairs now."

Luke couldn't contain his surprise. "What?" he asked in shock. "Since when?"

Lorelai wouldn't look at his eyes and stared down at her food. "Uh… maybe two months before we broke up? I don't really remember. It was one of Tom's guys."

"You had someone else doing home repairs while we were together?" Luke asked slowly, unable to hide the pain from his voice. "Why didn't you just tell me? Or did you want a professional to do the job? Did you not trust me? I mean, I know it's not my full-time job but I swear, Lorelai, I know what I'm doing…"

"No, no, it's nothing like that," Lorelai hurriedly interrupted him. "It's just that… before, when we were just friends, you would usually just come to my place to fix stuff when I tell you something's broken."

"Nothing wrong with that."

"I know, I know… But when we were together, you would usually come to my place to… uh, spend time with me, hang out, you know? While you were there, you might notice stuff that needed to be fixed, and you'll do it. I mean, I didn't have to, uh, call you over to fix stuff."

"I don't see where you're going with this…"

"During the last few months of our relationship, you, uh, you weren't really around at my place that much. I… I wanted to call you a few times to come over to fix stuff, but uh… it just felt like a step backward. In our relationship, I mean. I, uh, I didn't want you to come over just because you had to fix stuff, you know…"

Luke finally understood. "Lorelai…" he began guiltily.

"So I, uh, called Tom and asked him to send a guy over who can go through the house and do minor repairs. I mean, it's no big deal, really, I just… I knew you had a lot of things in your plate and I didn't want to add to it with home repairs…"

Luke cleared his throat. There was a dull ache in his heart at another reminder of how thoughtless he was towards the end of their relationship. "I'm so sorry, Lorelai. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It's okay, Luke, really it's nothing."

"No, it's not nothing. Not to me, at least," Luke said, trying to find the right words to explain. "For eight years, I… I waited for things to be broken at your place. Because I knew if something got broken, you'd call me and I'd get a chance to spend some time with you outside the diner. It's silly, I know. I mean, sometimes I would go and you wouldn't even be there, but it still made me feel happy to know I was doing something for you."

"Oh, Luke…"

There was a ghost of a smile in Luke's forlorn face. "I can't tell you how often I wanted to break something at your house just to have an excuse to come back."

Lorelai giggled at his unexpected confession. "I can't tell you how often I wanted to do the same."

Luke looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Really?"

Lorelai reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Hon, you know I had a thing for you even when we were just friends, right?" she said. "I mean… who can resist a handsome scruffy guy doing home repairs for free?" she added, in a light-hearted tone.

"Well, it's still nice to hear it sometimes," Luke said with a shy grin.

-oOo-

As they drove back to Stars Hollow after dinner, Luke could feel the awkwardness descend on them again. Lorelai was looking outside, barely saying a word, while Luke was lost in his own thoughts. I wonder if I will get a good night's kiss, he thought. He tried to banish the thought hurriedly from his mind. I won't pressure her. I won't be disappointed if I don't.

When he stopped the truck at the Crap Shack, Lorelai immediately jumped off before he could go to her side and open the door for her. She was trying very hard to keep her defenses up, and it was taking all her energy. I need to be careful, she thought, I can't get my heart broken again.

When they reached her front porch, he turned to her tentatively. "I had a great time tonight," he told her sincerely. "Thanks for agreeing to go out with me."

"Thanks for dinner, Luke," she said softly, not looking up at him.

"So, um…" he hedged. "I was wondering… April is going to some school dance in a few weeks. I, uh, I may have promised her that I can help her find a dress…"

Lorelai was startled, but couldn't resist mocking him. "You, Luke Danes, willingly volunteered to go shopping with a teenage girl? For a dress, no less…"

It was Luke's turn to blush. "Yeah, I was, uh, I was wondering if you could come with us? Help me out? You know I have no idea when it comes to these things..."

Lorelai hesitated for just a second. "Yes."

Luke didn't hear her, "And I understand if you refuse, I know it may be awkward and all…"

"Yes."

"I mean, it's such a huge favor to ask."

Lorelai touched his arm lightly. "Luke, I said yes already. I'll come with you and April."

"What?"

"It will be fun," Lorelai assured him. Suddenly, a sobering thought stopped her. "Oh, but would that… would that be okay with Anna?"

"Anna doesn't matter."

Lorelai smiled. "Okay. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

Lorelai was looking through her purse for her house key during the whole April conversation. When she finally looked up, all she could see was the love and longing in Luke's eyes as he stood gazing at her. She felt her breath catch. She couldn't stop herself – she leaned in and gave him a soft kiss, trying to keep it short and sweet.

It wasn't enough for him. Before she could pull away, he wrapped his arms around her waist tightly and pulled her close to him, putting all his passion and desperation and devotion in the kiss.

Alarm bells went off in Lorelai's head at the sudden intimacy and she pulled back abruptly, breathing hard. Unbidden, a thought popped into her head. The last person I kissed before tonight was Chris. And the last person he kissed before tonight was Anna. How screwed up is this?

"Sorry, I'm just… not ready for this," she mumbled.

"I'm… I'm sorry," Luke breathed out. He took a step back, watching her carefully. "I… I just missed you too much."

"I'll see you around, Luke," she said hurriedly, opening the door and trying to make a quick exit.

"I love you," he whispered, not knowing if she heard him or not.