Disclaimer: I wish I did.

A/N: Okay, so maybe listening to FFDP isn't a good idea while writing...but I did, and this chapter was produced. I've been thinking too much today, so...if anything's off...

People who favorite/alert: Thank you, for real, it means a lot. I would like to ask you, though...if you could just review, tell me what you like or dislike in a chapter. It really helps.

And thank you to the people who review, especially those who have been with me since the beginning.

Chapter 8

"That was…"

"Was Beck high?"

Jade and I are sitting toward the back of the Black Box Theater, wondering what the hell we just witnessed. It's the opening night of Aladdin, and Beck had told us that Trina had actually been decent enough to get the part of Jasmine. Apparently he either had to be drunk or on drugs to think that because the Trina we just saw was the same we've always seen. He seemed irritated when he was singing and she would burst in with her usual off-key rendition of Jasmine's part.

Jade shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "You are never bringing me to another performance that Trina takes part in." I nod in agreement and she smirks, leaning toward me and kissing my cheek. "Let's ditch the rest of this monstrosity and go do something fun, huh?"

I roll my eyes. "Jade…I promised Trina I would stay for the whole thing, and you told Beck you would, so let's just…" I cut off when she nibbles on my earlobe. "That's not going to…Jade…stop…we can't…" Good thing we're the only two back here, or close to the only two left in the entire theater, thanks to Trina's horrible acting and singing, if it can be called that.

Jade kisses just below my ear. "Come on, Vega, let's go. We're not missing anything here." And it's so tempting to, but I did make a promise to…Fuck it, I want to go. I stand, grabbing Jade's wrist and pulling her out of the room, the smirk evident on her face even though I'm not looking at her. She pushes me against a random wall in the hallway and kisses my neck. "Who knew Tori Vega broke promises?"

I roll my eyes. "I wasn't going to, but then you had to go and get all persuasive. Damn you." She shrugs and kisses me, her hands on my hips, holding me to her. We've been together for a month, with nearly no problems, except for a few run-ins with Andre, but he'll get over it. I'm tired of trying to talk to him when he isn't going to listen.

Jade nips my neck. "Are you there, Vega?" I nod and she pulls away. "If you want to go back and watch your sister's disaster in there, we can…and I'll even try not to complain about it." She seems sincere, but it's Jade. I just know that as soon as we walk in there she'll be muttering insults and curses and things she would rather die from. She kisses me. "You keep zoning out. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm just thinking. I thought we were going to get out of here and go do something fun." She smirks and takes my hand, dragging me outside to her car. And I don't even feel bad for leaving Trina and Beck's performance, or in Trina's case, lack thereof. All I want right now is to be with Jade somewhere else where no one can find us to bother us and…oh great, my cell phone's ringing. She glances at me with a frown and I roll my eyes. Cat's calling me.

"Hey, Tori! Where did you and Jade go? The play's only half over…"

"I got a little sick and Jade's taking me back to her house. Tell Beck he's doing great and tell Trina…I'll see her at home." Before she could break into a super long story about the play, I hang up and turn to Jade. "I love Cat, but sometimes she's just…"

She laughs. "She'll always be crazy, random Cat, so you can't say 'sometimes', Vega." I roll my eyes and she smirks. "Come on, where do you want to go? Your house? My house? The park?" I shrug. "Come on, you have to have somewhere you want to go?"

"You're the one who suggested that we ditch the play!" I lean against the passenger door and look at her. "Why don't you decide where we go? You always do anyway." But she just shrugs and pins me to the car, kissing me. Our month together has been just like this, mostly making out, but when we aren't…it's like Jade is having an internal battle with herself. In school when we're sitting at lunch or in class, she seems so shut off, like she has so much on her mind, and I don't understand what she's so conflicted about.

Sometimes she won't even talk to me. She'll just stare off into space and it seems she isn't with me half the time, and I just don't know what to do. Does she even pay attention to me anymore? I just don't know what's going on with her, and I wish she would tell me. I do notice that every time Andre's around, she just glares at him and won't speak. And the feeling there is mutual between them because he does the same, and I wish he would get over it. According to Jade, I've already been hurt the same way Beck was and we weren't even dating at the time.

I don't realize Jade's not kissing me anymore until I open my eyes, and she's staring at me with a confused expression. "Are you alright, Vega? You've been zoned out for the past five minutes."

I nod. "Is it too early to go to the park?" She glances at her phone and shakes her head, pulling me away from the passenger door so she could open it. I slide into the seat and she closes the door, walking around the car to get into the driver seat. Turning the ignition, she glances at me. "I'm fine, Jade." I smile. "I was just thinking about some things."

She raises a brow. Did I ever mention that I love when she does that? It makes me feel weird… "Is there anything I should be worried about? Thinking about some things usually isn't a good thing…"

"No, everything's fine. I just…Is something going on with you, Jade? I mean, besides everything with Andre and the fact that you're both incredibly weird around each other, even though I know why…You've been acting off. Is something bothering you that you can't tell me or something? You know you can tell me anything, Jade, and I wish you would. Not everything, just…enough to know what you're thinking."

She seems to take offense to this. That's not what I wanted from her. I just wanted to know what she was thinking. "Everything's fine, Vega, but if you must know, I've been thinking about this, about us, and what the hell we're doing. I mean, I don't even know what we're doing anymore. Yeah, we're dating. But it's just…Don't get me wrong, I care about you, but I know I'm the last person you should even be with. I'm not good for you. Hell, I almost got both of us arrested, just because I was pissed off at some guy that almost hit me with his car. And what did you do? You just stood off on the side and watched, instead of doing anything, which I know you would have if you honestly felt that way before. You would have without a single thought."

"I came back for you, Jade. When that guy was cutting your arms, I stopped him…without a single thought about whether or not I would actually come out of it unharmed. I didn't care, as long as you weren't the one he was hurting. Does that mean nothing to you?" She didn't look at me. "You know what, Jade? If you have to ask yourself or me if I care about you…maybe you should just find someone else."

She sighs. "I know you care, Vega. You're just…"

"It's not normal for you, I know. I tried to tell myself that you would get over that and believe me, I wanted you to. But it's like you're stuck on it, and I don't know what to do. When you were with Beck, did you ever have feelings for someone else? Have you ever cheated on him?"

Jade looks away. "I did have feelings for someone else. He found out and we broke up. As for cheating on him…I have a few times before, but it never once amounted to anything. There was one person I wanted to cheat on him with. I didn't care, and when I saw her…I didn't see him." She turns to me. "Why did you have to come into my life, Vega? Why did it have to be you?"

"I don't know what you're…"

"When you're 'in love' with someone for so long, and someone else just has to come along and suddenly you don't know what to do, you don't know where those feelings come from or why you feel them…It doesn't make any sense. Why it was so easy for me to forget with you around. Fuck it. I'm not in love with you…no, but I do love you. And we shouldn't even be together."

"Do you want to break up?"

She shook her head. "Yes…no…I don't fucking know. I don't know what I want where you're concerned, except that I do want you. And it hurts that you deserve so much better than me. And I don't want you to feel like you have to care about me."

"I don't…"

Jade nods. "I know that, Tori. Just…Fuck. What do we do?" She stares at the steering wheel and sighs, backing out of the parking space. "We'll figure it out later."