Disclaimer: I wish I did, but alas...I don't.

A/N: This chapter was both easy and difficult, depending on how I look at it. If only you knew. For some reason "Forever" by Papa Roach was on loop while writing this chapter. Don't even ask...So anyway, here's the next chapter. I have no idea how long this story is going to be...

So yeah, y'know, enjoy. Or not.

Chapter 9

"Wait, you said what?"

"Are you even paying attention?"

I don't even know why I'm here, really. It's early Sunday morning and Beck texted me to come over to his RV so he could talk to me about the play or something. Yeah, we're not discussing that. No, we're talking about my night with one Tori Vega after a very confusing argument or conversation or whatever it can even be classified as. I didn't mean to get into it with Vega, it just happened, but we still went to the park and that was where things got weird. "Jade, are you still there?"

I roll my eyes and glare at Beck. "Look, I'm only going to say it one more time. I told her that I love her. And you know what she does? She asks if I want to break up! She doesn't even…I tried to tell her that I want her, but I don't deserve her. God, who would ever want someone as fucked up as I am? After the hell I've been through, put you through, and I wasn't even dating her when she got hurt…What am I supposed to do, Beck?"

Beck ran his hand through his hair. How can girls find that sexy? Oh wait, I did once. "I don't know what you're supposed to do, Jade. Tori's not hard to love, you know. It's almost as easy as hating her, but of course you would know all about that, wouldn't you?" I sigh. Of course the guy is no fucking help at all. "What happened after you guys went to the park?"

This is where I'm lost. "Okay, first, it isn't easy to love her. I mean, it is, but it's not like, oh I'm going to love Tori Vega today, no, loving her is like slamming into a brick wall over and over and I just don't even want to stop crashing. But as for what happened afterward, I don't know. We went to the park and jumped the fence like usual, and she acted like nothing was wrong, like she just wanted to forget even fighting with me." I don't understand her, or girls, or something. I know I'm supposed to, being a girl, but who said I think like a normal girl? I play with scissors, I like to inflict pain, and I…What is going through Tori's head? This would probably be a lot simpler if she wasn't so complex. She's not a dumb girl who doesn't have a damn decent thought in her head that doesn't make any sense. She knows what she's thinking. She's smart.

Smarter than me? Probably.

That's what makes everything harder, the fact that she isn't like other girls. She doesn't think about boys all the time, at least I don't think she does, and she's not all prissy like most girls. She isn't like…Cat. What the hell am I supposed to do? Beck snaps his fingers in front of my face. Does this boy know me at all not to do that? "Did you hear what I said?" I stare at him and he sighs. "Of course you didn't. I said that maybe she just wanted to enjoy being with you? The park is kind of your place with her. Look, I'm not Tori. I don't know what's going on through her head. But what I do know is that maybe you should just stop thinking about everything and just go with it."

That would be a typical Beck answer. I decided to change the topic to something else that happened last night. "So what happened to the play? Trina was fucking horrible. You said she was actually decent when she got the part. But last night it sounded like a cow being slaughtered." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. My analogies are pleasant, aren't they?

Beck shrugs. "For the past month she has been pretty decent. I don't know what happened last night. It was pretty embarrassing, though. I think they'll be recasting Jasmine for the remainder of the show."

I stare at him. "I don't think anything about Trina Vega could be decent. It's not a word that could ever describe her, even if she managed to ever get talent." Alright, maybe I'm being a little cruel toward the older Vega girl, but come on. The girl has no friends, she thinks she's everything important in the world…It's just a little annoying. Okay, really annoying, but if I'm dating her sister, I guess I might have to be a little nicer toward her, right? Eh, I'll work on it later.

Beck smirks. He agrees with me. See, he isn't nice all the time. "Alright, so you made fun of Trina. Let's get back to Tori. What are you going to do about her? I mean, as far as anyone can tell, you're good together. You seem happy, but are you really, Jade?"

If anyone had asked me if I was happy with Vega two months ago, I would have stabbed them in the eye with scissors and let them bleed to death. But now? Am I really happy with Vega? I can't believe I'm about to say this. "She makes me happy. In all her annoyingly good ways, and her ability to make me smile, I'd have to say that yes, I'm very happy. I think if we were to break up…I'd be miserable."

He nods, frowning. I know what he's thinking. When he broke up with me, I was angry, but I wasn't too worried about it, like I am about Vega. What was I supposed to do? He broke up with me because I looked at the girl just a little longer than usual. He figured it out. And even so, he's still an incredible friend, even though we'll only be friends from this point on. I love him…I just love Vega more. He flashes me his signature smile, swallowing whatever he was going to say, and I really do hate to hurt him like that. "Do you want to catch a movie or something? Or do you and Tori have plans for today?"

I shrug. "She texted me earlier about Trina bugging her with something, so I was going to swing over there and save her from that torture device." Seriously, Trina's like a walking Iron Maiden. She'll trap you with some stupid "exhibit" of talent, or lack thereof, and it stabs you like a bunch of iron spears. You'll bleed out, but it'll be forever before you actually die.

Beck smirks and hugs me before letting me go. I drive to the Vega house and knock on the front door, barely counting to three before the door slams open and Vega is begging me silently to do something while her sister is singing rather horribly on a karaoke video game. I don't know what's worse…hearing Trina try to sing karaoke or being hit by a car. I guess I'll never figure it out because I'm not dumb enough to walk in front of a car.

Grabbing my wrist, she drags me upstairs to her room and closes the door behind her. I pin her against it, glad to finally do it first again, considering Vega's been pretty bold lately. And I can tell that's exactly what she's thinking right now by that look in her eye, when she starts looking at my mouth instead of my eyes. Guess I should kiss her then, right?

"Thanks for coming over," she mutters and I smirk, kissing her before I let her go. "Trina was really…I really want to know how the hell she got the role of Jasmine in the play. That's seriously messed up."

I shrug. "I guess the world may never know." Sitting on the edge of her bed, I watch as she leans against her bedroom door. "So about last night…" She frowns. She doesn't want to talk about it anymore than I do. "Look, I just want to say that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. It's just…I love you. And I don't know how to deal with it."

Vega nods and crosses the room, sitting next to me on the bed. "It hurt, Jade." She looks away. "It hurts that you think that I don't care. Why can't you believe anything I say? I told you that I didn't want to see you hurt, and you said I didn't care. I wouldn't have thought twice if I did. And you're right. I didn't think twice. I didn't know what the hell to do, but I did it anyway." She cups my cheek and turns my head to face hers. "Why?"

"I don't know, Tori."