My Life Had Stood

Chapter 34: And If Forgetting, Recollecting

1990:

"Who...who was that?"

Spencer glanced up at his mother, brow furrowed. The expression on Diana Reid's face as she stared after Alsie and her mother was difficult to read. He'd never seen it before.

"Mom?"

"Who was that girl you were talking to?" Diana asked again, grabbing her son's hand. She continued to stare ahead, toward where the woman and daughter had been. Only when Spencer fidgeted, his mother's grip a tad too tight, did Diana shift her focus to her son. "Spencer?"

"...Adrienne Leigh Crawford." Spencer answered, staring up at his mother. He chewed his lip trying to figure out if Diana was having one of her good days or bad. "I was teaching her how to play chess."

"...is that so?" Diana replied after a moment, her expression quickly changing to a happy one as she gazed down at her son. It seemed whatever emotion or thought had troubled her seconds ago had vanished.

Spencer smiled back, and proceeded to talk non-stop about Alsie.

x

Spencer awoke abruptly, having fallen asleep in the chair next to Alsie's hospital bed. Several hours had passed since the small woman had been admitted, enough that it had grown dark outside the room's window. Blinking away the blurriness of sleep, he glanced at his watch. His eyes widened in surprise as he noted it was after nine.

His brow furrowed as he wondered why neither his team or the hospital staff had woken him. It had to be past visiting hours or near enough to it.

"Oh! You're awake." Garcia chirped, having just stepped into the room holding two large cups, one with tea and the other with coffee. She smiled at Spencer, then glanced over to the slumbering Alsie. "I was just about to wake you. Hotch wants to talk to you."

The bubbly woman handed him the cup of coffee, smiling warmly.

"Thank you." Spencer took the proffered cup and gave a small smile back. He then threw a worried glance at Alsie, reluctant to stand up. It was only then that he realized that the petite woman was holding onto his hand. Sometime while Spencer had been fast asleep, Alsie had awoke long enough to grab the genius agent's hand, before returning to sleep.

"You two make an adorable couple." Garcia chirped again, her eyes lighting up at the scene.

"What..? Uh, no. Um...that's not..." Spencer sputtered, shaking his head. He then proceeded to gently pull his hand out of the sleeping woman's.

"Mmm." Alsie grumbled, her eyelids fluttering as the movement and sounds woke her. "...huh? Spencer?" She whispered, the corners of her mouth twitching into a furtive smile as she woke enough to recognize him. Her brown eyes gazed up into his. She was about to say something but stopped, and simply flashed a demure smile.

"Oh. I didn't mean to wake you, Alsie." Garcia said approaching the bed. She then proceeded to ask Alsie if she was all right or if there was anything she needed. "I could go get you something to eat or drink."

"I'm fine." Alsie replied softly, sitting up. It felt strange, being attended to with so much zest and care.

"...I'll go see what Hotch wants." Spencer mumbled, reluctant to leave Alsie's side. Not after everything that happened earlier. Garcia's presence and bubbliness reassured him, though, that Alsie would be safe and comfortable.

Spencer stepped out into the hall hesitantly, his eyes flitting back to look at Alsie every few seconds. He had the strangest feeling that the woman would disappear or that something would happen to take her from him. It was like a shadow was lurking just out of sight, waiting for its moment. It was a sensation that no amount of reassurance could diminish.

"Reid." Hotch called out, having just noticed the younger man exiting Alsie's hospital room.

"Hotch. Garcia said you wanted to talk to me." Spencer approached the older man.

"Yes. But first...is Schmidt awake?" Hotch glanced toward the door leading to Alsie's room.

Spencer nodded, his eyes searching the unit chief's face. "...do you need to question Alsie about what happened?" He asked quietly after meeting the other man's eye.

"Unfortunately, yes." Hotch replied. "Though the doctors found no indication that Schmidt had come in contact with tetrodotoxin, Voigt wasn't as lucky. She experienced full respiratory collapse on top of already losing quite a bit of blood. She was pronounced dead twenty minutes ago."

Spencer drew in a breath and grimaced, his stomach knotting. His thoughts on Shelly mixed - he hated her for attacking Alsie in what was likely some misguided revenge attempt, but he hadn't wanted her to die. She was Alsie's friend - or cousin, according to what Garcia had found out, which Alsie would need to clarify. She was also the only one able to explain what had happened, and why.

"Only two people know what happened in that apartment, and one of them just died." Hotch said, his voice quiet but firm. "I believe it likely was self-defense, but we need to question Schmidt about it. As well as confirm if she knew what Voigt did, poisoning men."

"Hotch!" Spencer exclaimed, his doe-like eyes widened considerably. "Of course not! Alsie wouldn't have been friends with Shelly if she knew!"

Hotch gave the younger man a look. "The two women were cousins, and Schmidt did have a relationship with James. Garcia was able to confirm earlier that the two lived together in a house Schmidt inherited from her grandmother until a little over three years ago."

Spencer blinked, thrown off by the information. Somehow, despite what Alsie had told him about her and James, some part of him had clung to the possibility that it hadn't been serious. That Alsie's pregnancy had been an unexpected result of a fling and not that of a serious relationship. Learning that the two had lived together in the same house stirred up a sense of jealousy in Spencer that he knew was unfair.

"...it's a big coincidence that Schmidt was in a relationship with James, who raped and mutilated at least three women before their relationship as well as eight more after it ended. And that Schmidt's cousin Shelly Voigt is responsible for at least two deaths, one a rapist-murderer and the other a sexual deviant." Hotch continued, his words being processed quick and quietly by Spencer. The younger man furrowed his brow and was about to ask what Hotch meant by the last bit. "Victor Cutler has an identical twin, and it's likely that he let his twin have intercourse with his wife, Susan Cutler, without her knowing it wasn't her husband."

"That's..." Spencer made a face, shaking his head. The next moment he returned to what Hotch was saying about Alsie. "Hotch, Alsie couldn't have known about James' or Shelly's criminal activities. She...she couldn't. Besides, if she knew of either beforehand, she wouldn't have been caught off guard by Shelly's attack." Spencer insisted, though a small part of him wondered. Alsie had D.I.D, and it was possible that one of her alters could've known about James' or Shelly's crimes.

"Perhaps you're right. But we will still need to question her. Both her and James. Not just about Voigt, but also about what happened three years ago. With their daughter."

"What?...Wouldn't that be something Rossi and Alsie should discuss privately?" Spencer narrowed his eyes in thought, his brow furrowed. It was clear from reading the older man's body language that he must have missed quite a bit by being asleep.

Hotch shook his head and started to explain. "Schmidt and James' daughter may not be dead."

"What?" Spencer gaped, feeling confused but also happy at the older agent's words. His joy at the possible good news quelled itself as Hotch elaborated, delving into what Garcia had discovered. That Alsie had been struck by a car near the end of her pregnancy by an unknown driver.

"After hitting Schmidt with his car, the unsub then cut into her abdomen and took her unborn daughter. Her pregnancy was far enough along that the child could've survived, but the police were unable to locate either the baby or the kidnapper."

Spencer's eyes widened into saucers. His stomach felt like it'd been punched. How could something like that have happened to Alsie? Who would've wanted her child that badly? And why hadn't Alsie told him that part?

He turned back toward Alsie's hospital room, mulling over what Hotch just told him. His expression revealed an intense mix of confusion and hurt. It was worse than his jealousy, but the idea that Alsie had lied to him about her daughter or at least withheld part of it, felt like a betrayal.

"Reid, she doesn't know." Hotch said, interpreting the younger man's body language correctly.

"...Huh? What?" Spencer turned back, his eyes wide with questions.

"According to police and medical reports, Schmidt fell unconscious not long after the unsub started cutting her abdomen. She nearly died, and when she came to weeks later she presumed by the way the doctors and nurses were acting that her daughter had died. No one told her any different, since it was assumed likely that the child had been killed. The cuts made to Schmidt's abdomen weren't done by a trained hand."

"So...she...Alsie was lied to by her doctor?" Spencer felt sickened. Though his title of 'doctor' came from his PhD's and not a medical degree, he still felt horrified that someone with that title would feel justified to lie to their patient. Especially such a horrible lie.

Spencer quickly noticed by Hotch's expression that there was something else. Something potentially worse.

"What is it? Hotch?"

"Rossi spoke to the physician that oversaw Schmidt's case three years ago. According to that doctor and confirmed by a nurse that was also working at the time, James told the doctors to lie to Schmidt. He insisted on it."

"What? But that...he...he left her when Alsie was almost six months pregnant. Why show up? And why lie to her...?"

"James was listed as her emergency contact and she hadn't changed it after he left, so the hospital called him." Hotch paused, refraining from mentioning that Alsie still apparently hadn't changed it. Something he and Rossi had been surprised to learn earlier from Alsie's doctor. "Why James showed up and why he insisted the doctors lie to Schmidt, we'll need to ask him about directly."

"...who's going to tell Alsie?" Spencer asked, his voice barely audible. Remembering how distraught the woman had been at the bookstore when she told him about her daughter, as well as how distressed she'd been earlier today, he wondered how she would take the news.

"Since it'll be contradicting a serious lie that she never doubted, she'll have to hear it from someone she trusts." Hotch replied, watching as the younger man absorbed his words, but missed what he was implying. Or perhaps the possibility hadn't occurred to the other agent? "Reid, she trusts you."

"Me? I..." Spencer blinked, shaking his head slightly before considering the idea. "We haven't known each other that long...we did meet as children one time, at a park, but as adults we...we haven't spent much time together, aside from the cafe..."

"Reid, it's obvious Schmidt trusts you." Hotch replied, recalling that morning when Alsie was suffering from her migraine and had clung to Spencer, and how she had looked at him moments ago in her hospital room. "You're the only one who can tell her."

Spencer was about to protest, feeling a twinge in his gut as he thought about telling Alsie. It was shocking, but potentially good news he would be telling her, if her daughter did end up being alive. If her daughter wasn't alive though...

"Reid...?"

"All right, Hotch." Spencer swallowed back his doubt, and flashed a small, nervous smile. "I'll tell her. But...could it wait until morning? Or at least a few more hours? I don't think Alsie will be able to deal with all this at once."

"If you think it's best..." Hotch replied carefully, curious at Spencer's hesitance. "But it's already been three years since Schmidt was falsely told about her daughter's death. Three years since the kidnapping, postponing any longer will only be detrimental to locating Schmidt's daughter."

Spencer chewed on his lip, unable but to agree with Hotch.

0

Rossi sighed, staring at his reflection in the mirror. The scratch marks that Shelly had made on his cheek were angry and red, and the words she'd said to him echoed in his thoughts. Her anger when she'd recognized who he was and how she referred to James as devil spawn, infuriated him. At the same time, he felt guilty, because though he knew it wasn't his fault what happened to James or what his son did as an adult, Rossi still felt responsible. James was his son.

What sort of parent wouldn't feel some tendril of guilt in similar circumstances?

'Damn...' He sighed again and shook his head. So many lives had been irreparably altered because of one lie thirty-six years ago. A lie, he felt, he should've seen through. Or at least questioned.

"Rossi," Morgan spoke after entering the restroom, the sound of the door opening and closing missed by the distracted senior agent. "It took some convincing, but James agreed to answer some questions, and the prison warden agreed to allow it to be tonight rather than wait until morning. So JJ and I are going to head there now. Are you sure you don't want to come along...?"

"I can't, Morgan." Rossi replied, shaking his head as he faced the other man. "After everything today...I just can't." He stopped himself from saying he doubted he could handle learning anything more about James. Good or bad. It was too painful.

Morgan glanced over the other man. "...All right." He paused, taking a moment to consider his words. "You know we're all here for you. And we're going to do everything we can to not just find Somerfield and bring his sorry ass to justice, but also find out whoever it was who took Schmidt's baby. And hopefully, when we do, you get to finally meet your granddaughter."

Rossi, having been fully composed during the start of Morgan's speech, swallowed at the mention of his granddaughter, his eyes tearing up. Learning about her existence had been the only truly positive thing to come out of the ordeal with his son. And the chance that she was alive and out there somewhere, waiting to be brought home, filled him with hope. He was sure finding her would make everything he experienced these past few months more bearable.

"...I know." Rossi finally managed to answer, his voice slightly hoarse.

Morgan nodded and respectfully left the room, understanding that the other man needed to be alone.