Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, but after A Christmas Tori...I think I'm good. :)
A/N: Okay, like I said last chapter, things are going to start happening. This chapter is the start of that, and honestly I have no idea where the ending came from. Just know that Tori won't physically be in this chapter at all (neither will Trina...). Sorry, peeps. Jori had to take a break after the overload last night. Tori frisking Jade? Yeah, I know you saw it. ;) (sorry for the spoiler if you haven't seen it...)
Anyway, before you ask where I'm going with this, there is a plot. I just have to get there. So enjoy, yeah?
Chapter 11
"So wait, Tori made the first move?"
"She always does."
Beck snorts, and I stare at him. How is that funny? He certainly didn't have to interrupt me just to ask a stupid question and then laugh about it. How inconsiderate of him, considering this is my relationship we're talking about. I punch his shoulder and he leans back against the couch. "That's just…Tori…I could see her taking charge in performing or something, but with you? And sex? Have you and Tori actually...?"
I groan. I knew it was a bad idea coming here to talk to him about this. This is kind of awkward anyway, since he was my boyfriend for so long. "No, Beck, we haven't actually done anything. It doesn't even get far enough to be anything at all because I keep zoning out on her, and she just…" He burst out laughing, and I seriously want to hit him. This isn't funny, not when it's causing problems with Vega and me. "Will you shut up so I can talk? This is awkward enough telling you about it, of all people." He holds up his hands in defeat. But I can see his shoulders shake. He's trying not to laugh. "Look, Tori's weird lately. Well, okay, maybe not weird, but it's not like her, you know? She keeps looking at me like…I don't know…and when we're alone it's like a switch has been flipped."
He grins, and I know what's going on in that teenage brain of his. Typical guy. Why did I come here again? I glare at him and he frowns, failing at being nonchalant. "Alright, why don't you talk about it? I mean, if she keeps coming onto you and you keep disappearing in your head when she does, maybe you need to figure out why. Do you think about her when your head's in the clouds?" I nod. "Well, that's better than thinking about someone else…" Poor Beck, I used to think about Tori when I was with him too…The only difference was I actually paid attention to him.
I feel bad for how I've treated him in the past, but he's still the guy who broke up with me. And maybe I deserved it. My head wasn't in it, and my heart wasn't, and that's the difference between what I had with him and what I'm beginning to have with Vega. But what am I supposed to do? I shouldn't be comparing my current girlfriend with my ex-boyfriend. That only leads to problems and I'll be damned if I start problems with Vega.
"Beck, I'm sorry for how it was when we were together. I don't want you to think I didn't care about you or that I didn't love you because I did. You know better than anyone that I don't tell someone I love them if I don't mean it." He nods. "But I…"
"You found someone you loved more. I know, Jade. I'm not incriminating you for it because I probably would have done the same. I didn't break up with you just because you were thinking about Tori. I broke up with you so you could try and have a chance with her, and you're with her now. I think things worked out pretty well, don't you think? You have Tori, Cat's a possibility, and we're both still friends." Hold up…Cat? It's like he can read my mind. "Chill, Jade, Cat and I are still just friends. That doesn't mean I don't like the girl."
"Does she like you back?" He shrugs. For Beck, that means either yes and he's working on it, no but he'll try to, or he doesn't know because Cat is an adorable girl who hasn't shown him emotion either way on the matter. I think they would be cute together, but not perfect. Cat isn't exactly the romantic type of girl and she's definitely not the hooking up kind, and Beck's too much of a guy to be romantic. They might just clash later. But I have to boost his esteem. "I hope it goes well for you." Really, what else am I supposed to say?
"Thanks, Jade. But now, we have to work on what your problem is with Tori. If you can't focus on her when she's trying to…you know…She's going to think that something's wrong with her and it won't work." It's too late for that. She already thinks that she's stupid for even trying because my head isn't in it. "Talk to her about it." I nod. I'll do that when I go back to her house tomorrow. I haven't been there for two days, since Vega went with her parents and her sister out of town.
Beck hugs me and I head home, taking my time. I haven't spoken to my father since he came back, mostly because I've been spending all my time with either Beck or Tori, and now that Tori isn't around and I'm bored, I could probably try to talk to him. He won't care if I do or not; if it doesn't involve business or money, he's not interested. I'd be better off just ignoring the fact that he's even home and just stay in my room or everywhere else in the house.
When I reach my house, my father's car is gone from the driveway. Perfect, the guy left again and he's probably not coming back. Let's see if he at least left a note this time. And I'm actually surprised to see a sticky note on the kitchen counter where I set my keys. He had some business meeting to go to, so he won't be back until late tonight. And he'd pick up a pizza. What the fuck? My father is actually acknowledging the fact that I live here too? That's insane. No…that's impossible. He's never given a damn about me ever since I refused to follow his footsteps in business and chose my preferred career. He hated when I dated Beck because he thought Beck was only with me for whatever money we had or that he was going to kill me in some alley if I didn't give him what he wanted. Imagine how he'd feel if he found out about Vega.
He's met the girl once that I know of aside from the time Vega said she saw him at the grocery store. She told me she didn't talk to him, since she knows he's not much of a man of words and that he doesn't particularly care for me. That's probably why she hasn't even bothered to mention anything about coming over or staying here or anything. My father just isn't someone to be around.
I take the stairs up to my room and leave my door open, which is unusual for me because I always shut it, whether I'm home alone or not, but today's just not normal. So why not switch it up a bit? There's a thud downstairs, but I just play it off as my father coming home early. Maybe he did. Who knows? Who cares? I hear a door open and close and roll my eyes. Of course, he'd come home and go straight to his study without even a word to me. Then again, maybe he didn't see my keys on the counter as he passed by the kitchen, so he probably doesn't even know I'm home.
Eh, whatever. I can enjoy some peace and quiet alone up here before I go downstairs to face him. My cell phone vibrates with a text from none other than Vega, and I respond before grabbing some random book off of my shelf. Apparently the rest of the Vega family, who I'll probably never meet and probably won't ever want to, has always considered Trina to be the favorite. I guess we know why Trina's so self-centered and delusional. Maybe it will help her somewhere in the real world, but certainly not in performance or high school.
There's a voice downstairs that I don't recognize, but I can't hear a word they're saying. Maybe my father brought home a client and they're discussing something. I really don't care. They don't know I'm here anyway, since my car is still in the garage where it's been, unmoved. My father probably thinks I'm at Beck's or something, since I'm well aware he has no idea about anything that has happened in the past three months of my life, let alone the six before that. Some kids say that their parents should mind their own business and that they don't know anything about them, or that they don't care. I would give so much for my father to care even the smallest dot about me. Those kids don't know what they're talking about. They don't understand any of it.
The sound of doors opening and closing reaches my room and I close the book I wasn't reading. Why bother when there's so much to think about? And the funny thing is, I'm not even really thinking about Vega. That's sort of messed up, considering I can't get her out of my head. Maybe I should go to Cat's. I haven't really hung out with her since Tori and I started dating, and I'm sure she'd want to go and get ice cream or something. Or watch some cheesy childish movie.
Actually, I have no objection to that second option. Watching something as strange as Cat's normalcy would be a good distraction from all these thoughts of my father. I text the girl and get a response almost immediately, telling me I should come over right away to watch a movie she just bought. Put that statement in Cat-speak and you know exactly what it says, emoticons and all. I grab my keys and head downstairs, pausing when I notice the study door cracked open. It's never open, always shut and locked to keep me out.
I roll my eyes. Maybe he was in a huge hurry and forgot to lock the door. Cat's house isn't far, so I walk and she greets me halfway up the driveway, bouncing like she just ate half the bowl of sugar, which wouldn't surprise me, and she chatters all the way into the house and upstairs to her room. We pass her brother's room, whose door was open for the first time in all the times I've ever visited, and I notice he's playing some video game.
There's almost nothing abnormal about her brother, he just has the worst of luck. Cat's stories seem to make him sound crazy or something, but the guy can't help it. He takes special medicine to keep him in check. He's a pretty decent guy too and he shares quite a few interests that I do. He loves blood. And I mean he seriously loves it. He used to be so obsessed with it that he would prick himself with a needle just to watch it seep from a hole in his skin. Okay…yeah, he's weird. Cat shouts a 'hi' at him, which he returns with almost the same enthusiasm, glancing at us for a split second. As soon as he sees me, he grins and can you imagine Cat as a boy? It's so adorable.
Cat grabs my hand and pulls me to her room, closing the door behind us, and I sit on her bed while she plays with the DVD player. We're going to watch some trippy cartoon movie that would be better if the viewer was high, but…Well, it's Cat and I don't think I'll even enjoy this movie as much as she will.
Halfway through the movie, Cat pauses it and races from the room. I'm used to this though, and sure enough five minutes later the redhead returns with a large bowl of popcorn and two sodas. That's the thing about Cat. She won't eat popcorn through an entire movie, and I've never really understood it. I've never seen her do it, and I've never asked. But the movie ends sooner than I thought it would and I tell Cat that I'm going home.
The door to the study is still open a little, and it's starting to bug me. I guess he never came back, since his car is still gone, but what would be so important that he needed to leave without closing it. Even though I know I'm not allowed in there, I can't stop myself and push open the door to find the room the second best in the entire house. There's so many books that I've never read that I would love to read, mostly references like encyclopedias or journals. There's art on the walls from names I can barely pronounce, but what catches my attention isn't any of that.
No, what I see after all of that is the man sitting in the chair at the desk, that familiar face of my father that I haven't seen in months. His eyes are wide open, staring at me, slack-jawed as if he can't believe I disobeyed him and came into this room against his permission. But I can't speak because he won't speak. He can't speak ever again. I cover my mouth in horror and look away, squeezing my eyes shut. But nothing can erase the sight of that thick red stripe across his throat.