Disclaimer: Never will...

A/N: Funeral chapter. I've been to enough in my lifetime that this was actually pretty easy to write, but it brought back a lot of bad memories. I won't go into details. Cried enough writing this. Yeah, I know, I'm depressed, depressing, whatever you want to call me. Usually I say to enjoy...

Chapter 14

"Are you going to be okay?"

"What other choice do I have?"

Vega emerges from her bathroom, dressed in all black, and sits next to me on the bed, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her waist, holding her close to me. "Jade, no one would blame you if you didn't want to go. I know…I know he was your father, but he never…"

"He never cared about me. I know, Vega, I just need to go. Sure, I hated the guy, but after what happened…I need to be there. God, I was in the house when it happened. They could have easily come upstairs if they had known I was home, and I left my door open and everything. I just…What if I had gone downstairs? You'd be having a funeral for me."

She frowns. "You can't think like that, Jade. I've almost lost you once. I don't want to think about it again." I kiss the top of her head to assure her that she won't have to and we sit there in silence for another few minutes. The funeral won't start without me and I'm not going to rush to for a man who cared little to nothing about me. Eventually Vega's pulling me by the hand downstairs to her car and the car is as silent as it's ever been while she drives.

The funeral home chapel is nearly empty when we arrive. Beck, Cat, and her parents are waiting outside the doors for us, and I know they're not here for my father. They're here for me and I'm fine with that. They're the closest people in my life and the only ones I truly care about. And Cat's parents knew my father for years. No one hugs me; they know I don't want to be comforted, even though Tori keeps fidgeting at my side, her hand squeezing mine every few minutes.

It's been a week since my father was killed, and I've moved in with Cat and her family. They were nice enough to let me stay the night at Vega's house last night so that we could come here together and because I needed her more than anyone else. They're fine with me dating Tori, or at least they haven't said anything against it, which I take as a good sign that they're okay with us being together.

The nightmares haven't stopped. In every single one of them, Andre kills me, and I don't know why. Am I supposed to watch out for Andre? Is he going to murder me? Or am I just imagining that the one person who absolutely despises me would be the killer? Speaking of Andre, I haven't seen him at school lately and the boy never misses, even when he's sick. Something's going on with him. Maybe I should have Beck talk to him and find out what it is.

Tori's hand squeezes mine again and it pulls me out of my thoughts. I realize we're still standing outside and everyone's staring at me with concern, as if I'm going to lose my mind any minute and go ballistic. And I just might, if the right thought pops into my head. I look at Beck and he takes the hint, leading everyone inside. Vega doesn't move, her eyes on me, while everyone leaves us alone. "Are you really alright, Jade? You seem out of it."

I shrug. "I'm just thinking. Come on…Let's go inside and get this over with. I'm tired with all the depression." She nods and pulls me close and I just let her hold me. A part of me doesn't want to go in there, but another part says I have to. I have to go in there and face my father's death.

Tori's hand is warm when it slips into mine, her fingers squeezing mine as we walk inside the chapel. If I had any other family, they might be here. But my father made enemies of them all, constantly locked in his study. I know how they felt, always shut out. Of course, if they had come, Tori and I wouldn't have been able to be comfortable, not like this.

Vega walks all the way to the front of pews with me before she looks at me and I nod. Silently, I know she'll be right here waiting for me, but I have to do this on my own. I let go of her hand and step forward, slowly approaching the casket.

My father is pale in death, cold white hands folded at his chest, and I almost stop breathing. He isn't the man I remember, the cold and distant look in his now-closed eyes I assume is gone, and I notice that his throat looks clean and untouched. And seeing that covered up brings back the perfectly clear memory of when I found him. I swallow the foul memory and touch the ring on his right ring finger, the green stone something I have never seen before. But I know what it was.

And honestly, I don't think he's fit to wear that ring, not with that stone.

I almost feel like ripping it off of his finger and throwing it at him, screaming that he never cared about me, that he's nothing to me, but I can't. I can't do that here, not when the only people here are the ones who do care about me. I feel a hand on my shoulder, but it's not Vega's. This hand is bigger and stronger than hers. Before I know it, I'm crying into Beck's chest, wanting nothing more than to leave.

But I can't.

I didn't come here for nothing, and I'll be damned if I leave without saying something. Beck just holds me, like he used to, while I cry, and I hate that he isn't Tori, but I don't say it out loud. He knows. Vega knows. Even Cat knows. I can't see anything aside from the black of his shirt, but we're walking. He lets go of me so I can sit beside Vega, and she wraps her arm around my waist.

The pastor speaks about my father, as if he knew him, but that's a lie. He never let anyone know him after he changed, and Cat's parents were around before the change. Cat's my best friend and the only friend to have ever seen him before he became a cold, cruel shell of a man and she's always been there ever since that day.

"Would anyone like to speak about Mr. West?" the pastor asks, and Vega turns her head to look at me, but I'm already on my feet. The religious man watches me, surprisingly without judgment, considering my girlfriend was holding me. He steps away from the pedestal and I take his place.

"Usually people say nice things about the person who died, but honestly, there's very little nice to say about my father. The man in that casket, the one who looks so serene, was actually one of the worst people I've ever known. Every single day, month after month, year after year, he was locked away in his study, ignoring the fact that he even had a daughter who had to take care of herself. Until the day he was killed…I came home from Beck's and there was a note on the counter, saying that he was going to get dinner for the two of us.

"He wasn't always so heartless. I remember when I was a kid he was actually a real father. He wanted me to follow him into business, but I didn't want to do that. I knew that business turned people into selfish fools who were full of greed and just didn't care. He ignored me when I refused his offer to join him, and he's ignored me ever since. He hated a lot of things about me, especially the fact that I wanted to be what he called a waste of time.

"My father was nothing to me, and honestly, he still isn't." I take a deep breath and my eyes meet the pastor's. "If he was such a great man, why is no one here to speak for him? These people are here for me…not him." I step away from the pedestal and settle in the front pew next to Vega. The pastor begins another speech, but I'm done listening. I want nothing else to do with my father, and as soon as he's buried in the ground, that's it.

BREAK

Vega and I walk back to her car after the burial and I stop her before she gets in her car. She looks at me, sadness in her eyes, and I want to tell her to stop. But I can't. "Look, Vega, I never told you…Thank you for being there for me lately." She opens her mouth to speak, but I shake my head. "I know what you're going to say. You're my girlfriend and you're supposed to be. But you didn't have to be. You only knew what I told you about my father and you've only seen him twice in your life, aside from today."

Tori nods. "Yeah, but that's why I was here, Jade. I wanted to be here for you. I love you, and I wasn't going to let you go through it alone." I smile. "Do you have to go home? Would Cat's parents mind if you came over and spent the night again? Just tonight?"

I shrug and glance at Cat's parents, who are standing by their van twenty feet away from us. I ask them silently with my eyes, and they both nod, waving to me before leaving. "You have me for the night, Vega, but I'm going to have to go home in the morning." She smiles and kisses me before sliding into the driver seat while I walk around the car to the passenger seat.

I'll figure things out later, but for now…I'm going to enjoy a quiet night with Tori Vega and an empty house.