Chapter twenty: a peek into the future

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Renee shook her head as Hermione asked her again for the tenth time. Today was Hogsmeade day, but I don't have the energy to have fun.

"I still have homework to do. Just go and have fun for me" She tried her very best to smile, but it just turn out to be a grimace.

Harry and Ron came out from the boy's dormitory and looked at their friend sympathetically. Renee's eyes were still bloodshot from her crying session last night. It's been days since they saw me broke down and I still haven't told them the reason behind it. Renee could still see in their eyes how much they want to know why she was grieving so much.

And I'm thankful that Hermione was here to stop them whenever they tried to ask me.

Renee let herself signed heavily as the trio exited the common room. It was really hard to hide my true feelings, to let them see that I am alright but well in fact my heart was breaking into pieces.

She signed again as she put her head down on the cold table. My friendly relationship with him that I'm nursing for two months was crumbled in an instant. Renee bites her lip to prevent herself from crying again. I've been crying for two nights already that I think my eyes were already dry and couldn't produce any tears anymore.

Renee stood up, surrendered that she would never able to work on her homework with this kind of estate. Maybe a little sunlight could make me cheer up.

The only ones Renee collided on the corridors were first and second years because they still wasn't allowed to go to Hogsmeade. The sun was shining happily on Hogwarts, though the temperature was still lower than any days. The other students made the corridors have good vibes, yet it still can't through her.

Renee found herself walking through the library. This is so typical of me…when upset, go to the library.

She smirked to her old habit; she never had friends on her previous school that the only thing that makes her day brighten up was the library and the park. Very nerdy, she thought. An enormous volume of books were on this library. And were could you honestly find a flying book or a book that could eat you alive except here?

The library has a few students, primarily NEWTS students. Madam Pince nodded to her presence, seeing that she was one of the students regularly coming here. Renee smiled timidly on the school librarian and went to the section that only a few students would go…the muggle study section.

She scanned through the books and tried to find a good book to read, but can't find anything besides romance English literatures. Ugh, even the books were mocking me. Deciding she won't be reading any romance novel for her weak heart, Renee roomed around the library and tried to pick a random book to read.

A book finally caught her eye… or should I say a school year book caught my attention. The yearbook was full of unfamiliar smiling faces. The yearbook quite made her dizzy, with those moving pictures waving and moving at the same time. Renee flips pages and pages and looked at their goofy smiles…then a very familiar picture caught her eye. He has pale skin, long greasy hair, and black piercing eyes…Severus Tobias Snape.

She felt a knot on her stomach. He wasn't even smiling on the picture unlike every one does…so typical of him. Her depression disappeared as a smile crept on her face, now I know how he looks like when he was about our age.

Renee flipped a few pages and found the recognition page and found his face again, with a title of outstanding on potions under his name. That wasn't even surprised me. She lingered her fingers on the photos, thinking she might find something that could made her interested.

Alas… She found one. Red hair and green eyes, she was astonishing beautiful smiling on the camera. She was entitled outstanding on charms and potions; head girl under her name.

Lily Evans…

Now I know why he would fall to this woman. She was beautiful and smart that I was even mesmerized to her. She looked cheerful and carefree.

"Dang it, She's too pretty" Renee muttered and closed the book.

Being jealous to a dead person wasn't healthy at all.

You don't have the right to be jealous. You're just a student! She screamed inside. Renee gazed on the window and escaped a sign.

Why didn't I fall to someone my age? Or even someone who can love me as much I could love him?

Love?, she snorted to herself. I found myself admitting on a difficult position.

Being in love is not as happy as 'happily ever after' like the fairy tales were usually telling the children. It hurts as much those feelings make you happy. They shouldn't be writing those kinds of stories anyway…they were undeniably nonsense.

Yet I was too late about realizing those.

Being on the library didn't even help. Renee hugged her knees as she sat comfortably on her favorite spot on the grounds and didn't even care if it was cold for her preference.

I would be happily accepting any disease to make me skip potions class.

She snorted on the stupid idea, which would be the childish thing she could think of…really. I know I will never run away from this problem or feelings…I don't know what I could call these.

There is one thing she needed to think of though, that is to resolve her fudge with the potions master. No matter what angle I could look onto it, I still find it somehow it was my fault.

But you just said the truth! A small voice on her head said.

Yes, I couldn't deny the fact that maybe I told the truth. But I shouldn't have assumed that much.

Could I just go to him and say "I'm sorry I just step your big ego professor"?

There must be a better way to apologize.

Rene stood up, deciding that she must apologize to him…sooner or later.

It was already sunset, the trio must be on their way back now. Somehow the sunlight made her feel better. Renee stepped inside the warm castle and headed to the common room, thinking how did she made myself stayed longer on the cold grounds.

It was then realize the corridor were full of corpses.

No, it was another vision, she frightfully shouted to herself as someone past through her like a ghost. Renee walked slowly as she looked at them, not I really don't have a choice about it…there are little battles everywhere and she can't see whose the winning side…some were nursing the wounded…the place was in chaos.

Would be there an upcoming war?

That made her realize something, I was actually seeing the future of Hogwarts.

The splitting headache came upon with her again as tried not to look at every ones faces.

No I can't bear to look at their upcoming deaths.

I can't bear to look at any ones death faces anymore.

Renee made her stance balance as she hold onto the wall. Not a very smart move. One student slammed into the wall and collapsed on the floor.

It is one of the Weasley twins.

Renee's hand covered her mouth, trying her best not to scream. Was it George…or Fred? I really don't know. It was unbearable for her to see, his eyes were wide open…unmoving…blood was filling the floor…

I need to get out of here.

Renee closed her eyes and continued to walk to the noisy filled corridor vision. It was full of screams and cries. She covered her ears with her hands.

No I don't want to hear it anymore. It was unbearable, please made it stop…

Where would I go?

The first thing came on her mind was McGonagall. But no…she was out since lunch and no one knows where she is. Even Dumbledore wasn't here.

Fatigue and the dizziness were beginning to overtake her. The more I would be here the more I would feel like this. I need to get out of here.

The room of requirements! Her head started to get work again and she dragged herself to the moving staircase. The portraits were eyeing her suspiciously as she kneeled on the stairs to take a little rest and glanced on the window and saw her reflection.

My eyes were silver again.

Renee tried to focus her eyes straight on the corridor and try not to look at her side but no avail. She saw lavender Brown on the floor, lifeless.

I could almost see location of the room…almost there…

Renee felt a little triumph as she reached the room and opened it and her duplicated room was already waiting for her. She plopped on the bed, too exhausted because of the earlier vision.

There was going to have a war, and many people will die. If the Weasley twins and Lavender Brown was still here on the upcoming war...that means the war…

A tear escaped on her eye. Why do I have to see those? Why do I have this ability on the first place?

Why do I have a complicated life? First were Snape…and now this vision.

I want to disappear…