Chapter twenty one:

The choice, the prank and one on one talk

I don't know how long I was on my duplicated room…hours, a night? I really don't know.

Renee just lay on her bed, staring on the ceiling though she knew that she couldn't run away from everyone.

My body was still sore, my mind was still wrenched.

I wonder if they noticed that I'm gone.

Renee missed her simple life on the muggle world. I wonder what will my life could be if I wasn't been on Hogwarts this year. I could have been studying for university entrance exam, or maybe have a few friends…or even a boyfriend.

Renee snorted to the word boyfriend. When did I care about that?

Maybe when you met the Snape, a small voice told her again. A sad smile creep on her face…how will I ever face him again?

It would be better if I stayed here, and they would never notice that I was gone. It was my little heaven, my safe place…

The door yanked open on her surprise. The first one that she saw was Isabel, panting with her wand on her hand with Professor McGonagall was behind her.

"For the sake of Merlin, Why are you here?" Isabel shrieked at the dumbstruck girl staring at her, she was red in anger.

"I was r-"

"Do you know you've been missing for two days?" McGonagall was the one who spoke.

Renee sat slowly and looked at Isabel closely. Her mother's face was still red, and panting from running at her guess.

"I never knew you would be this irresponsible Renee" Isabel said still has her eyes on her daughter.

"Sorry, I was just…I had a vision…there was too much battle…and…" Renee sniffed as the bloody hallway came to her mind again. Her eyes were beginning to cloud again.

No I don't need to cry again…not this time.

They both become silent. They just let her wept as Renee remembers the faces of the dead. How could I face the Weasley or Lavender, should I go and said 'you'll going to die on the war' when I collided them on the common room?

"I should go and tell Dumbledore that we already found her" McGonagall declared to keep the two alone for a moment.

The two keep silent as the professor exited the room. It's the first time she noticed that it was already dark outside. How long am I here anyway?

"Why me?" she sobbed. It was not about this vision…it was about everything.

Isabel kept silent, understood what she was feeling. It was the same feeling she had when she was in her age.

"Could we just prevent the war…I mean we could…"

"The war was already decided a long time ago, it was even before you were born. It was our fate. We are just spectators…we cannot do anything about it" Isabel signed and gazed at the window.

"Are you saying that those people…" Renee trailed and made a sniff. It was unfair, they are going to die. They both felt silent again as Renee looked at Isabel and saw a painful look on her eyes. Isabel also doesn't want that war to happen and she couldn't do anything about it.

"There are always causalities in every war Renee" Her mother said quietly. Renee's blood began to boil in disbelief of what she had said. Is she really telling me to do nothing about it? Just because of the greater good?

"We were talking about people here Mum. Not just things! They were going to die…and we already know it! Are you saying…?"

"Yes. Do nothing about it. We cannot do anything about it. It was their fate. We can't just change it" Renee shut up. No…I can't just accept this stupid fate she was talking about.

"Do I make a mistake on putting you here?" Isabel spoke again. Renee looked at her sadly; she wasn't expecting that I could see those visions.

"Can you stand up already? You need to meet with your friends on the hall. They were worried sick about you" Renee nodded, I totally forgot about them. And the topic was already dropped.

The two went on the great hall for dinner. It seems the trio tried to cover for Renee on Sunday for they thought she just needed some time alone. Her disappearance was noticed when she didn't show up for classes.

"I went to Hogsmeade to cool myself…I'm really sorry…I," I hate lying like this, but I really needed to.

"It's alright. No need to be sorry" said Harry, half smiling in relief. The boys seem to buy the story, but I highly doubt Hermione. She just nodded and looked at her peculiarly.

Renee found herself listening to what happened for the last two days. Neville was practically panicking were was I, Dumbledore and McGonagall seems to be quite looking at me at the castle and my Mum…out of her character, seems to be calm about it; unlike her angry expression earlier.

Renee can't stop herself to glance on the teachers table and caught Snape gazing on their direction. Did he notice my absence? She ducked her head on the plate and pretends that she was fascinated on the food.

"I'll talk to Albus, just wait for me on the transfiguration classroom" Renee nodded to her mother as she exited the great hall first, following Dumbledore. The four finished the food too and now walking through the corridors.

Renee gazed on the trio who were talking animatedly in front of her. They were the first friends I made and the first one's I've defended. Maybe I could tell them about it?

I wonder if they will believe me.

"I'll catch you up on the common room. I've got a detention with McGonagall" Renee called back at them and headed on the transfiguration room.

The room was empty as she entered. Renee sat on her usual seat and looked around. I wonder when that war will happen. Can we prevent the ones who will die?

The door creaked open and Isabel entered the room. She sat beside her instead on the teacher's table like she usually did.

"You do you want to stay here, I mean at Hogwarts?" Renee kept silent and looked at her. Is she asking about me getting out of school?

Is it really I wanted now?

"I don't know…let me think about it" Renee finally said and Isabel nodded on understanding.

"I already asked Albus about the possibility of early dismissal. We still need to wait until Christmas if you want to go back"

If I go back home, I could have my old life again.

"Are we still going to have the occlumency lessons?" Renee asked and tried to change the topic. I still have a month to worry about it.

Isabel shook her head.

"No…I think you already learned the basics. You just have to practice those everyday" Renee signed in relief.

"I'll be teaching you how to control the visions when we get back home…but for now, enjoy Hogwarts" Isabel smiled as she saw Renee signed.

Renee smiled back at her.

"Better get back home. I'll see on holidays" Isabel said and waved goodbye.

She walked back to the common room alone, deep in thought.

Is leaving here will solve everything? If I'm gone, will I forget about him?

Renee tried her advice on enjoying Hogwarts on the next few days. The two boys were dumb struck as she asked them to teach her Quidditch though they taught her anyway. It was exciting and enjoyable now that she thought about it. She was laughing with them, with her clumsy flying and all. But she managed all the way through their little game.

It was already after curfew, when she decided to have some fresh air on the grounds. It was kind of exciting; since it was the first time she sneaked after curfew.

"What are you guys doing?" Renee asked the Weasley twins as the girl sneaked behind their backs. The two identical twins were hiding beside the armor on the hallway, definitely waiting…or ambushing someone or both. The two looked back and put their hands on her mouth, keeping Renee quite and pull her to their hiding.

"Keep quite Renee —"

"We don't want to our plans to backfire" said the twins, always completing each ones sentence. There was a hint of quilt on her chest; the bloody body was still on her head.

No, don't ever think that again. The twins were alive in front of you.

"Well, what are you guys doing then?" She kept her voice low for them to hear, glancing on the empty hall.

"We were going to try our new invention to Miss Norris" said Fred…or George. Pull out something on his pocket, a small flask with undeniably purple substance on it.

Their plan was very simple. They placed a food on the corner where Miss Norris was always spotted. And they will pour the potion on the cat, very simple.

Renee didn't like the idea of joining them, but she still hide behind them nevertheless. As they expected, the caretaker's cat, Miss Norris wandered on the corridor…looking around as if she was looking for students out of bed. Apparently she came nearer to a piece of chicken on the corner and sniffed on the food. Fred (or George) took off his shoes and put a disillusionment charm on him. It was only momentarily when the orange cat, became purple all over.

She tried to hide her snickers and all. The cat was still unaware of its sudden change until she saw her reflection on the armor. The cat practically screeched and run the opposite way. Fred (or George) lifted the charm and made high five at the two.

"How long will the potions last?" she managed to asked within their silent snickers.

"A day or two" George (or Fred) grinned.

"That was...brilliant" Renee beamed at the twins. I didn't know doing pranks would be exciting. They grinned back at her on return.

The three stop talking as they heard footsteps on their way, those made them stiffened and looked at each other.

"Run!" the three of them use disillusionment charm and run opposite way of the sound.

Renee was breathless, walking fast through the dark halls. She didn't saw the twins but she could still feel the presence behind her, also trying to get away from whoever footsteps they heard. The three lifted their charms and saw their selves panting with sweats on their foreheads.

The three burst out laughing at each other. I never thought I could have this kind of moment on Hogwarts. It was one of my genuine laughs for…so long.

It was uplifting.

Renee tried everything…even sneaking at night again and went to the kitchen (Weasley twin's idea) using Harry's invisibility cloak and playing exploding snap with the two boys. It was still hard to face the twins and Harry…especially Harry. But I have to endure it.

It was really fun.

The only thing that she couldn't do was coming back on Snape's extra class. He didn't mind that though, he even given the girl a cold shoulder on potions class like she didn't exist on the first place.

Well, maybe he didn't have to pretend anymore next year.

Renee still can't decide from her mother's proposition. Will I stay studying on Hogwarts? Yes, I have been attached on the academy…but there are so many things that happened to me. Will I go back on my old life, where my life was still peaceful and simple?

Where do I really belong?

She joined the trio on Hogsmeade trip to have some butterbeer. Renee followed them while secretly buying gifts for her friends. She was still undecided about leaving Hogwarts or not, nevertheless she still bought gifts for them. A book for Hermione, a small magical plant for Neville, a pair of Quidditch gear for both Ron and Harry and a new set of exploding snap for the Weasley twins.

The last thing that she bought was a beautiful pair of black gloves. Snape was the first thing that I thought of when I saw it. The fingertips were slender and warm looking.. It was also black in color, and very elegant…just like him

"Okay Renee…what's wrong?" Hermione snapped all of the sudden.

The two were on our last Hogsmeade trip for this year and waiting for the two boys from the Quidditch store.

"What do you mean?" Renee blinked innocently at her and sipped her butterbeer.

"You're being weird for the past few weeks. You've almost trying everything now. It's not like you" Hermione crossed her arms on her chest and faced Renee.

"Nothing's wrong Hermione…I just want to have some fun…that's all" She smiled innocently at her brunette friend.

"Fun…includes Quidditch?"

"I thought it was time for me to learn the sport" Renee rolled my eyes, though I might not admit it loud, I find Quidditch enjoyable.

"Breaking the curfew?" Hermione was beginning to frown.

"It was just a dare Hermione" the twins just dared me to go on the corridors after curfew. It was fun, actually.

"Hoaxing Miss Norris?"

"I was with the twins last time" She snorted, thinking how the caretaker took the trick on his cat.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about. You don't do dares, pranks or Quidditch or anything like that. I know something's wrong. Is it about professor Sn.."

"I just want to enjoy Hogwarts while I'm still here Hermione" She cut her off; Renee don't want to hear his name…not yet.

"You're leaving?" Hermione looked astonished. Uh oh… I'm not really deciding yet.

"I…might leave. Mum already gave me a choice if I want to stay here or not. It wasn't my choice going on Hogwarts on the first place"

"Do you want to leave?" that question stung her. That was also my question to myself.

"I wasn't fit here. I fit better back home. I could study for my college entrance exam when I get back. My life was…" Renee trailed and looked far away. It was like I'm convincing myself too.

"That's it. You're running away"

"Excuse me?" that made her eyebrow arched up.

"You're running away from your problem"

"No I'm not"

"Yes you are"

"No I'm not!" Renee stood up angrily and glared at Hermione, not minding a few customers staring at her.

"You can't fix it by leaving Hogwarts you know" Hermione was still speaking calm, though Renee could see she was restraining herself to burst. Her knuckles were white holding on the table.

Renee sat up again but continued to glare at her. I know she was right, I can't run away forever.

"It's not that I don't want to tell…it's just that I can't tell anyone about it" Renee ducked her head the table and signed.

"Is it about professor Snape?" the name made Renee blushed on an instant.

"You don't have to hide it from me you know, you like him" well…my decision will be partly because of him…

"No it's not about him…but, is it too obvious?" Renee sat up straight and whispered I'm scared that someone would hear us or worse…Snape himself.

"Not really, I just noticed you stop sneaking on us from meeting with him and I could see you how you look at him. And if its obvious, Harry and Ron might me talking to you right know and asking if you're under imperious" Hermione snickered, amused by Renee's red face.

"We don't have 'that' relationship if you're thinking we had one. Do you think I was under imperious?" Renee muttered, not really surprised that she would knew it all along.

She stops half way from drinking her butterbeer and smiled at her friend.

"No I don't believe you're under imperious, Dumbledore will know if any unforgivable were used on the school grounds. And it's not like we could control about liking someone" she said knowingly.

"Yeah, like Ron" Renee eyed her with a knowing smirk as it was time for her to blush.

"No, I don't like…" she tried to reason out. But Renee just looked at her deliberately and she threw her hands on the air on defeat.

"Is it too obvious?" she leaned and muttered.

"No…not really, and don't worry it; Ron was too dense to figure that out" she giggled and Hermione joined her after a moment.

"You don't have to run away from your problems, I know you're stronger than that, if it's about him..." Hermione's face became serious again.

"It's not just about him. It was about my life, that's why I'm thinking carefully about it" Renee said and Hermione nodded thoughtfully at her.

"I'll miss you if you're gone" she admitted.

"We could still write or call each other on summer. And the boys could owl me, oh but don't tell about the Snape thing on the boys will you?" she plead on Hermione and she nodded. Somehow I felt our bonds become closer because of our secrets.

After a while the boys came with their purchase things on their hands.

"You guys should have come with us! They have new gears displayed!" Ron excitedly informed them and sat next to Hermione. The two girls looked at each other knowingly and giggled.

"So, what did we miss?" Harry sat next to her and ordered two butterbeers.

"Nothing, nothing at all" Hermione said between giggles and winked at her.