My Life Had Stood
Chapter 49: Unraveling the Truth 5
D.C
William Reid sighed, sitting down beside Alsie's bed, the bandage around his nose reminding him of 'Emmie'. And what she'd shouted at him. He stared at his daughter's sleeping face, his mind racing through all the reasons that could've caused her D.I.D. Going by how her alters, Emmie and Ana, acted it had to have been horrendous. Violent. And possibly...
He shook his head, not wanting to think about what his daughter had gone through as a child. All because of a lie. A lie told by a horrible doctor thirty-three years ago, and perpetuated by a selfish family who'd vanished when he'd looked for them.
William clenched his fists, his jaw taut as he thought of the Crawfords. Nothing in the world could make him forgive them for what they did, taking his daughter - Spencer's twin. Though he had tried to comprehend their actions, he couldn't. Not even before he learned about how the Crawfords treated Alsie, from Garcia, who'd come to visit Alsie while the rest of the BAU were getting ready to head off on a case.
The record of neglect had been found by the detective he'd hired years ago, but the similar names of the children had confused the detective. And thus him as well. Adrienne and Adrian. William wondered if the Crawfords chose that name for their son in order to confuse anyone looking for Alsie. The two children's names were pronounced the same, so which child had been which was only determinable in writing.
"Hey." Garcia said, entering the room and handing William Reid a coffee. Though it felt strange, almost backstabbing, to be nice to Spencer's father considering how much the genius disliked the man, she couldn't help feeling sorry for him. Or for Alsie.
"Thank you." William replied, taking the coffee from the tech analyst. He took a sip, still looking at Alsie. "...aren't you going to go help the BAU on this new case they left for?"
"Oh, well, most of my work is done electronically back at Quantico, so I don't usually travel with the team." Garcia replied, attempting to be cheerful. She bit her lip at the angry look on William's face and how he mumbled about how the team just left Alsie for some case. Hearing that, she felt a tad miffed at the man. "But it's about...wait, did nobody mention...?" Garcia gaped, realization dawning on her. "This case the team just left for, there's a possibility it might lead us to Alsie's daughter Jemma. And help bring her home."
William's eyes widened and he whipped his head to look at the unique, colorful woman. "What? You mean they can...Jemma might be found? Alive?"
Garcia hesitated a half-second, but then replied. "That's what we're all hoping. Trust me, Mr. Reid, the team wouldn't have just gone off on another case this soon, unless it was important. And finding Jemma is the most important thing right now." Garcia took a sip of the tea she'd gotten herself when she'd gotten William's coffee. She beamed a reassuring smile at the man. "Jemma's family. And each of us wants to find her and none if us will stop looking until we do."
"...Thank you." William Reid said again, his tone this time not just polite but truely grateful for Garcia's words.
"Mmm...nnn." Alsie mumbled and stretched out, still asleep. The questioning her psychiatrist had put her, or rather Emmie, through hours ago had exhausted the brunette. She'd fallen asleep quickly, long before William had gotten back from getting bandaged up. "Hnnmn. Hmm...Uhnn."
"Elsie..." William patted the brunette's hand and placed his coffee on the table beside the bed. As he watched her, he was tempted to stroke her forehead or at least push the hair from her eyes, but refrained from doing so. Dr. Freeman had warned him against it, after he explained to her what had happened immediately prior to Alsie switching to Emmie.
According to what the psychiatrist could tell him without breaking client confidentiality, Alsie balked at all unexpected touch anywhere, except on her hands. And it was likely that such would trigger one of her alters to take over.
William sighed, once again wondering about what Alsie had gone through. About what could've made her so resistant to contact - it was more extreme than Spencer's aversion to hugs or handshakes. He glowered as he thought, understanding even though no one would tell him so, that the abuse Alsie - his daughter - had endured must've been extreme. And more than physical.
"I...I think she's waking up." Garcia spoke softly, having noticed how Alsie's eyes started to flutter while she stretched her arms and legs.
"Ummm. Ehnn..." Alsie grumbled as though in response to Garcia's voice. Her eyes opening slightly, before closing again while she rubbed the sleep from them. "Wha...I smell coffee..." She mumbled and turned her head to her left, her eyes alighting on the coffee cup William had placed there. She sat up, grimacing as she reached for it, before stopping having just noticed William Reid. Her brow furrowed as she considered him, then the coffee. Then him again. "Ah...um? I..."
She made a face, no longer concerned about the coffee. Instead she stared at William, confused, her deep brown eyes searching his face. It lasted until Garcia made a noise, drawing Alsie's attention.
"Oh! Hi. What are you doing here?" Alsie mumbled, smiling slightly at the bubbly woman. Her smile faltered as her last talk with Spencer came back to her, and she chewed on her bottom lip. "...I...Um..."
Garcia watched as the brunette looked away, and pulled her legs up to her chest. The expression on the petite woman's face was a mix of guilt, worry and intense sadness. It made Garcia's heart clench in empathy.
"What is it, Alsie? It's all right." Garcia asked, approaching the bed. Her kind voice and presence simply seemed to confuse the brunette more.
"You don't...? But..." Alsie muttered, furrowing her brow in thought again. 'Spencer didn't tell them? That I suspected...?'
William Reid swallowed, briefly overcome emotionally. It hadn't occurred to him just how upsetting it would be to be looked at by Alsie and not be recognized. He should've been prepared for it, and he had been prepared at least a little earlier, before he met 'Ana' and 'Emmie'. Some part of him had refused to realize that despite her alters meeting him, Alsie herself hadn't and wouldn't have any recognition of him. Even more piercing was the way Alsie's eyes reminded him of Spencer's, thus making him feel like both his children hadn't recognized him.
"...I'm sorry." William mumbled, caught between wanting to embrace his daughter and wanting to leave to deal with the overwhelming guilt. What Emmie had said echoed in his thoughts: 'Why didn't you find her?! You never protected her!'
Alsie's eyes widened, recognizing William's voice from when she overheard Rossi and the other man talking. Though she hadn't seen him, having blacked out shortly before getting a chance to, she recognized the voice. Her heart pounded, her eyes seeking out his.
"You...you're Spencer's...my...um..." Alsie mumbled, her eyes hopeful but at the same moment she shrunk away, pulling herself into a tighter ball. Completely on reflex. She didn't realize she'd done so until reading the hurt in William's face at the flinch. "Sorry...I...I..."
"It...it's all right. Elsie. It's fine." William couldn't help but reply upon seeing how upset her own flinch made her. "I...I'm your father...I..."
It was barely noticeable, but Alsie cringed at the word 'father', and swallowed. Her cheeks a shade paler. The next moment she shook her head, as though trying to fling her flinching aside.
"..." William Reid froze, catching the cringe and gulp, recognizing the fear the brunette had tried to conceal. His fatherly instincts immediately flared up, putting two and two together. First 'Ana's' behavior, and now this reflexive cringe at the word: father...he didn't need to be a genius to see what this suggested. He immediately felt his anger at the Crawfords skyrocket.
"A...Alsie?" Garcia stuttered, though she'd missed the cringe, she had noticed how unsurprised the brunette was to William Reid's announcement that he was Alsie's father. No one on the team had had a chance to tell the petite woman about the twin thing, so she should've been surprised. It suddenly dawned on her why Spencer had refused to even visit the brunette before heading to the jet with the rest of the team. "Did you already know? About you and Reid being siblings? When you met...?"
William immediately gaped at Garcia, the question - sounding to him like an unfair accusation - irked him. "Of course she didn't..."
"I...I...as a child...I...hoped..." Alsie mumbled, her voice trembling. "As an...adult...I hoped...not...I..."
"Elsie? What?"
"Y...you let Reid...fall for you...despite suspecting...that you two were...?" Garcia covered her mouth, feeling appalled at the brunette. She shook her head, not at all understanding what or why Alsie thought it was reasonable to not warn Spencer. "I...I need to leave. I need...to get back to Quantico..."
Alsie didn't say anything while Garcia left, biting her lip to keep it from trembling. The moment the door shut behind the tech analyst, the tears the brunette had struggled to keep at bay started to fall. Drenching her cheeks.
She seemed completely oblivious to William Reid's continued presence until she felt him grab her hand. At the touch, she looked back at him, her lips quivering.
"I...I know...it wasn't...right. I...but is it so wrong...to want to be with...someone you trust? Who...you've always...trusted?" Alsie closed her eyes, not waiting for William's response. She knew he wouldn't understand, and would be just as appalled.
William Reid struggled with how to respond, what he should say. He didn't understand, same as Garcia, why Alsie hadn't mentioned her suspicions before. But he did recognize how much she was hurting. It was evident that she had fallen as deeply for Spencer as Spencer had for her.
He squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her that he at least wasn't angry at her. He may not have understood her reasons, but he couldn't blame her. She hadn't kidnapped herself as a baby. The Crawfords and Tobias Connell had. They were the ones at fault.
And if he was right on what he suspected Vincent Crawford had done to Alsie as a child, the brunette's skewed sense of morality could be placed solely on that bastard's shoulders.
"It's all right, Elsie. It's all right." William whispered, his heart breaking seeing his daughter so upset and feeling powerless to comfort her. All he could do was hold her hand, afraid of what she'd think if he hugged her. If it would trigger a memory of that bastard that had pretended to be her father.
Alsie sniffled, swallowing as she looked back at the man, Spencer's - her - father. Her real father. Since hearing how the man had left Spencer and Diana when the former was ten, Alsie had struggled to imagine what he would be like. All she had had to go on was the anger Spencer had for him.
"I looked for you." William blurted, prompted by what Emmie had said and by how distraught Alsie seemed. "When you and Spencer were children. The day after he and Diana saw you in that park, I tried to find the Crawfords. I found the house they had - where you lived - two days later but no one was there. You and the Crawfords were gone."
"That...that's because we - they moved." Alsie whispered after a moment, touching her facial scar as she recalled what had happened. "Mo...hm...she did this. She was angry, worse than I ever knew her to be. She was scared, too. Afraid she'd lose Dren...um, br...Adrian Vincent, her...their...son." Alsie took in a deep shuddery breath. "By the time I was fully conscious again...they were gone, and I...I was left at some distant relative or friend's of theirs house. I...it was better there. No one got angry at me, or hit me..."
"Els..." William squeezed Alsie's hand, not knowing what to say or if he should show the anger he felt for the Crawfords. If the family was just going to abandon her, why hadn't they done so at a hospital or given her back to her real family? Were they that cowardly?
"The old couple's grandson was just like Mr. Crawford though. Though..." Alsie swallowed, her brow furrowing. "He may have been worse...I don't...remember much, not after the old couple died. I...my blackouts started then...my next clearest memory is being taken in by Mary Schmidt. She was nice...she didn't hit me or force any...anything...I hated it when she died..."
"Elsie, it's..." William whispered, not knowing whether to stop his daughter or encourage her. It was clear she wanted to explain things, to explain what she'd gone through. He just didn't know if he could handle listening to what his daughter had gone through. He was thankful that Alsie hadn't thought it necessary to explain, in detail, what she'd experienced.
"I..." Alsie shook her head, not wanting to continue. Instead a question that burned at her curiosity slipped through her lips. "What was my birth name? What did you and m...mom...want to name me?"
"El...Elsie. Elsie Diana Reid. With Elsie spelled with an E not an A." William answered, momentarily surprised by the question.
"Really? That's...that's uncanny. Sp...Spencer gave me 'Alsie' as a nickname...I...how...did he...?" Alsie narrowed her eyes, confused. She squeezed William's hand back, trying to understand things.
William thought a moment, recalling the brief seconds when a five year old Spencer had opened the folder he'd kept of Alsie's medical and funeral records...he also recalled how upset Spencer had been upon seeing that folder again.
"I don't...I don't think he consciously knew...we...never told him he had a twin." William glanced away, once more regretting his decision to not mention Alsie to Spencer. The sharp and sudden breath Alsie took and how she tore her hand away from his, drew his attention back. His face lit with surprise. "Elsie...?"
"You...you didn't...? You never...mentioned me?" Alsie sputtered, her eyes widening. "You...like I never...never exist...existed? You...?" She swallowed, scowling at William with her tear-drenched face. "You...and m...mom...you both...?"
Recognizing the anguish - the betrayal in his daughter's eyes, William attempted to explain and even tried grabbing Alsie's hand again, to get her to calm down. The petite woman viciously slapped his hand away, her chest heaving with anger.
"Get the hell out!" Alsie screamed at him, going as far as pressing the call button to bring in a nurse. The moment the nearest nurse came in, she screamed again. "Get him out! I don't...I don't want him here! Get him out!"
"Els...I..." William stood up, flustered by the strength of Alsie's anger.
"I'm sorry sir, but you need to leave." The nurse, who had responded to Alsie's call, told the older man as she escorted him out into the corridor. She shook her head firmly when he tried to object. "Both her physician's and psychiatrist's orders are to keep her calm and not agitate her. You can't stay."
"But...I..." William cursed, running his hands through his hair in exasperation. 'I shouldn't have told her that...I shouldn't have...'