Disclaimer: Been a while, but I still don't own.
A/N: Okay, first, I would like to SINCERELY APOLOGIZE for the delay on this chapter. Believe me, I have been going out of my mind with school work and family stuff and moving soon...Which, by the way, I won't have wifi when I move so you guys are REALLY going to hate me.
Anyway, this chapter isn't very long, but...
Enjoy. And don't kill me. Please.
Chapter 26
"West!" I glance toward the bars of the cell from where I'm lying on my bed and frown. What the hell does the guard want? Almost as though she can read my mind, she rolls her eyes. "You have a visitor." I stare up at the bunk above me for a few seconds in confusion before finally rolling off the bed and approaching the bars, holding my arms through the slot. She slaps handcuffs on my wrists before opening the door and escorts me toward face-to-face visitation.
My heart stops when I see the brunette girl sitting on the other side of the glass, her usual smile turned downward in a heart-wrenching frown. Sitting across from her, I reluctantly take the receiver from the wall hook and watch as she does the same, her eyes avoiding mine. I can't speak, my throat attempting to swallow the lump that's formed, and I don't know whether I'm going to throw up or cry.
I've been incarcerated for three months. Ninety days I've gone without seeing her face, without speaking to her, without… "I can't do this, Jade." I stare at her in silence, her eyes full of sadness, even though they're looking at the surface in front of her, and my heart drops from my chest, allowing the steamroller that is pain flatten it. I want to ask her why she's here, if she can't be with me, if she can't bear to look at me, but I can't. My chest feels crushed, the air gone from my lungs like I've been hit hard and winded.
And I have been.
She twists her fingers on the surface in front of her, and I want to stop her, to hold her hands and keep her from being so upset, to kiss her and make everything better. But I can't. I'm stuck in here, on this side of the glass, where I can't hurt her anymore. She sighs. "I can't be without you." I frown in confusion, wondering if I'd heard her correctly. "I've tried. I told myself that I couldn't be with you, that I hated you for what you did. But…I couldn't listen to myself." She finally looks at me, her eyes watery, and I can tell that she's trying so hard not to break down and cry right now.
I swallow, the lump dislodged, and glance at my hands. "I can't hurt you anymore, Tori. You deserve so much better than me, and after what I did…I don't blame you for never wanting to see me again."
"I do deserve so much better than you," she agrees. "I didn't want to see you again. I wanted to move on from you, to forget you after you shot my father, after you killed those gang members…I didn't want to go back to you and tell you that I love you. I wanted it to be a lie that I kept telling myself. But the only lie was that I don't." She leans forward, her eyes locked with mine. "My father and I had a long and very serious conversation about you, Jade. He's…well, he's not happy about this, but he's bailing you out."
My eyes widen in shock and I shake my head. If I'm not in here, if I'm with Tori, I'll do nothing but hurt her. I can't allow that to happen. "No, Tori, listen. I deserve to be locked up in here, away from you. I shot your father. I killed five other people. I belong in here. You can't just give me a free pass out of here and expect everything to be all right."
She shakes her head. "It isn't a free pass, believe me." I can't understand why she would be so willing to let me free. And how she convinced her father to let me walk out of this jail, I'll never know. I think it's better if I don't know.
Two days later I'm released. Even though this is something that I should be okay with, that I'm soon going to be able to hold Tori, I'm not happy. I'm so afraid that I'm going to disappoint her, that I'm going to hurt her, crush her, and make her never want to speak to me again. But she seems to think otherwise. And I don't know how to feel about that.
She's sitting on the hood of her car in the parking lot of the jail when I exit through the doors at six in the morning. I don't know why she would be here so early, why she isn't home sleeping, but when she hops off of the hood and wraps her arms around my neck, her lips on mine a dozen times before she finally buries her face in my neck, those questions are pushed from my mind and I just hold her as close as I can. Her heartbeat is slamming against her chest, the same way mine is, and that's all that matters to me right now.
The first place she takes me is the pancake restaurant near her house, and I've never loved a cup of coffee so much in my life. Between the caffeine and the rapidly decreasing ration of food on the plate, I've never been so happy in my life where food is concerned. She sits across the table from me, eating her own breakfast, and every so often, I catch her glancing at me. I flash an uncertain smile, which she returns without hesitation, and I'm aware how messed up we really are.
Her father is waiting for us when we enter the Vega house soon after, and Tori lets go of my hand before disappearing upstairs to her room. I'm unsure of whether or not I should sit, my eyes watching the man I shot. After a few silent moments, I sit on the couch and fold my hands in my lap, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry for what I did, but it was only to protect you and Tori, and I know that you may not see it like that. I don't blame you because that generally isn't the excuse of someone who shoots you in the shoulder."
He doesn't speak at first, instead sitting on the opposite couch and staring at the blank screen of the TV. I open my mouth to speak again, but he holds up his hand and shakes his head without so much as a glance in my direction. I can hear his breathing against the silence. "Tori begged for me to bail you out of jail, and honestly I don't know why I should have. I don't trust you anymore because all you've done is proven that you can't be trusted when you pulled the trigger. I don't want you to be anywhere around Tori." And I don't blame him. "But because she thinks that you're different, I can't force you to stay away from her or she'll resent me and I'll lose my daughter."
He eyes me for a moment, as if I'm going to jump at him or something. I understand that he doesn't trust me, when I haven't had a chance to give him reason to. "I love her." It was spoken before I could stop myself and he frowns. "I don't know why she wants to be with me when I know she deserves so much better. But I love her."