There were few - very few - things Astrotrain and Swindle agreed on, but this was one of them.
Vortex is a moron.
Of course, Swindle had still been a big groggy sense he woke up right when Vortex decided to take them on a joy ride, banging on random buttons and pulling randoms levers, in the end Astrotrain spiraled out of control, unable to get Vortex to stop, unable to get Swindle - who was panicked and confused - to help. They had screamed - though they would forever swear Vortex was cackling - as they spiraled through space, the panic, and frantic attempts to regain control, Astrotrain ran all his energy out trying not to crash, only to end up crashing from the lack of said energy. The planet they crashed on wasn't pretty.
Astrotrain had been the only one to take any real damage, having transformers when they hit, the other two landed on the ground as he dropped them and toppled around. He crashed into quite a few rocks send he dropped them and kept on going, unable to stop. The rocks stopped him, and it hurt like the Pit. But the damage wasn't severe. Swindle got a bit of motion sickness, seemed to still be groggy, and now irritated to boot. He sat little ways from Astrotrain - who had decided moving was a bad idea, and had thus used the rocks as a makeshift "chair" - his knees pulled to his chest, as he swayed a bit, trying to keep his tanks from purging. He eventually fell onto his bad with a sickened groan.
Astrotrain suspected the only reason Swindle hadn't set off on Vortex yet was probably due to the fact he was sick and dazed.
Speaking of their copter crack-case, he had cackled a little longer before wondering over to check on Swindle, who ignored him completely. He then wondered over to Astrotrain just to turn on his heel and walk away when the triple changer shot him a glare. Now he was off wondering around doing Primus-knows-what, on the excuse that he was going to try and find an area where their comm. would work, or perhaps something they could siphon into Energon. Both seemed very unlikely, but then again this day just kept getting better and better. It could be the mood induced by that making him think this way.
He glanced over to Swindle, the Jeep hadn't moved sense taking up the position of lying on his back. But seemed content with mumbling curses, seemingly towards Vortex judging by the occasional "'Tex" that could be heard. Eventually, though, Swindle slowly sat up, stumbled to his feet, and limped his way over to Astrotrain. Watching him, the triple-changed just waited for the smaller 'Con to fall, he looked like he would any moment. The slightest breeze would probably cause his balance to waver. What little balance he had.
He felt a pang of pity, and was tempted to offer to help. Then he realized that this was Swindle.
And if he did he would be shot in the face with a Scatter Blaster.
Or maybe not.
"Need help?" Swindle paused in his wavering half-walk have-limp and looked up at the triple changer. They stared at eachother for a moment, Astrotrain waiting to see if he would be rejected, accepted, or have to dodge a shot. Swindle shot him a cocky grin. "Nah." It unnerved him for some reason when Swindle made that face. "I'm not as helpless as I may look." Be it to prove a point, or just to be stubborn, Swindle started his pace again, albeit a bit quicker. Astrotrain watched him warily. Though, soon enough he was meters away from Astrotrain, he plopped himself on the ground, placed his hands in his lap, and grinned at his fellow 'Con.
"So," His grin grew a devious glint to it, and he cocked his head to the side. "Revenge on Vortex. How should it be done?" Astrotrain looked taken aback at this, but soon enough an expression to rival Swindle's appeared. "We're on a mud-ball. Vortex has a particular...issue with mud, correct?" A brief nod from Swindle confirmed this. The gave him a slightly withered grin. "If he gets muddy he'll track it all in you when we leave, though." The golden 'Con pointed out. Astrotrain frowned, yeah, true. And mud inside his alt mode made him feel weird and sick.
New plan.
Vortex bounded back about that time, a top speeds. In fact, he collided with Astrotrain - which barley budged the triple-changed, and only resulted in Vortex falling on his aft. Swindle and Astrotrain looked down at the flyer now flat on his back. He held up a finger, waving it excitedly in the air. Both pairs of optics locked on the digit. "I found life!" Vortex stated, in a high-pitched, overly happy- possibly deviously insane voice. Swindle and Astrotrain looked back to his masked face, raising optic ridges in unison.
"Life?" Swindle frowned, there is water on this planet, but not much on the side of oxygen. Maybe fish? No, more mud than water really. Not deep enough for fish. "What kind of life?" Astrotrain piped from his relaxed position against the rocks. Both tensed, not quite expected Vortex's reply. His chipper, happy, accomplished reply of;
"Worms!"
They could do nothing but stare at him.
Until he started cackling again, that just made them both uncomfortable. "Worms?" Swindle asked, eying his brother. Vortex sat up quickly, almost connecting helms with Swindle. "Not just worms," He waved his hands into the air. "HUGE worms! Bigger than slagging Omega!" That got their attention again. They both gave him confused, disbelieving, and slightly worried looks. Worms bigger than Omega Supreme? They hoped he was exasperating. Giant aliens worms, movies clearly stated those weren't a good thing. It unnerved the two.
Vortex couldn't look any happier - unless...you know...you removed his mask and could see his face.
"Except for these ones..." Vortex trusted out his hand, clanking Swindle in the helm. He earned a growl, until his opened his hand and dumped a handful of mud and tiny worms on him. Tiny to them anyways, probably huge to humans. Swindle picked one off his face, held it in his palm and eyed it warily. It moved. "Ew." He made a face at it, and Vortex giggled. Astrotrain leaned down, looking at the red, blue, and black little...parasite. He reached down, poking it slightly, it curled then - slightly to their shock - quickly crawled away.
Into the joints of Swindle's hands and under his armor.
There was a pause, everyone stared at his hand, then Vortex and Astrotrain looked to his face. Wide violet optics stared down at his now empty palm. He could feel the worm in his circuits. He twitched, the ones on his helm curling into places as well. He remained calm, however. Best not to panic, right? Best not to panic. Not to panic.
One curled under and fell inside his optics.
"OH MY PRIMUS GET 'EM OUT! OUT! OFFA ME! OUT! OFF! I CAN FEEL THEM CRAWLING AROUND INSIDE OF ME! EEWWW!"
At least they couldn't do any real damage to the Jeep, unless he hurt himself from his panicking and running around as if his aft was on fire.
Vortex cackled.
Astrotrain sighed and flicked one of the nearby worms that had fallen off of Swindle far, far away from himself.
Authors Notes: I feel the need to torture characters I love sometimes. Poor Swindle. You all know Vortex did that on purpose. You do. Don't deny it. I'm sure Swin' will be fine. Probably. Possibly. You'll have to wait and see.
Disclaimer: Transformers does not belong to me, nor do any of it's Characters.