Authoress: New chapter!
Rosalina: And it didn't take as long as the last one.
Germany: Good. Updated right on time.
-Previously on How to Live With Hetalia-
I put my hands on my hips like the bossy and amazing bitch that I am, "I don't care, I'll shut down the TV!"
"But once you're in your room, we'll just switch it on again." Canada added. Well, I think that he thinks that I think that he doesn't exist. Well, that happened once, but it won't happen again.
"Nice try! But I'll be TURNING OFF THE WI-FI!"
"Noo! Not the Wi-Fi! I need it to fully train my Pokémon, aru!" Yao yelped, "And I was trading Pokémon with this girl from Brazil and-"
"Too bad! Muahahah!" I laughed like an insane bitch. With a ninja move, I disconnected the Wi-Fi (which was in a secret location) and smiled sweetly, "Goodnight everyone! And no fighting otherwise I'll be sending you out."
"You're so mean sometimes, Rosalina-chan." Japan observed.
"I know, right! And did you know that 'Mean' is my middle name?" I don't have a middle name so I can simply make up one for me. "Ah, another thing, don't disturb me if you value your life." My smile grew, "Goodnight everyone, and don't let Yandere-chan bite!"
Sometimes I think that I exaggerate a bit…Oh well… I walked away from the nations, not before collecting the DS from Yao's hands.
"NOT COOL!" Alfred exclaimed. Mission accomplished.
Maybe I've just scarred them for life.
Ooops, my bad.
Anyway, once I was finally inside my bedroom, I shut the door from inside, to make sure I won't have any visitors during the night. Well, there's another key hidden inside a jar of cookies at the kitchen, but I doubt any of the dudes will have the intelligence needed to find it.
As I've already described, my room is simple, yet cozy. However it's not an evil lair yet.
And why would I need an evil lair? Because I'm evil, of course.
Okay okay, my actions somewhat differ from 'evil', I know. But I try my best not to interact with humans and hide my true emotions behind a mask of bichiness.
Anyhow, I better prepare myself for my most probably all-nighter at Tumblr. I didn't even bothered to put on my pajamas because I was much too lazy for that.
For me to get the max out of this experience, I jumped into my bed, covered myself with my blanket and turned on the computer, which was carefully placed in my lap.
I took a deep breath, whew, all my creativity to help others is finally coming back! Let's continue to help that anon!
When I was about to start typing furiously all the thoughts that passed through my head, I heard a soft knock on my door.
Oh hell no! If it's Alfred asking for some midnight snack I'm sooo going to kill him! Who dare to disturb me in my sacred Tumbling? EH EH?!
I reluctantly left my computer on and got up from the bed. I had to practice my grumpy expression for a bit, before opening up the door.
I unlocked the door, waiting for the right moment to scold whomever was disturbing my all-nighter.
-Reality in Rosalina's POV-
But it wasn't. It was in fact Ivan. Why does this stuff keep happening to me? The last thing I needed is someone distracting me while I have important stuff to do, like using my phone as an Internet hotspot so that I can go on Tumblr without needing Wi-Fi.
Either way I have to confront him. Let's just hope my softie side doesn't mess this up.
I lifted my head a bit to look right into the Russian's eyes. His hair was slightly wet (it makes sense, since he just took a shower), and he was wearing a black tank top, his usual pants and of course, his scarf. His top was also a bit wet, which revealed his muscular form. I could feel a slight hotness on my cheeks, aka blush. I knew I was probably blushing such red that rivaled Spain's tomatoes.
Why? Why does this happen to me?
"Are you okay, Подсолнечник [Russian-Sunflower] ? You're the color of borshch." Ivan's thick Russian accent made me snap out of my weird mental state.
"I'm fine!" I replied, "No worries….what are you doing here?" I said, my voice bitchier than ever. Gosh, I need to practice being nice.
I have a feeling that just 'pretending' to be nice won't do it this time.
"You knows, I was the last one to go to shower, and when I came out, the couches were already taken…" The Russian continued. For some reason, I couldn't take my eyes from his abs. Oh well. "Or maybe because they don't want to be with me."
I couldn't help it but feel a bit bad for him, "What do you suggest?" I knew it would come over to this.
"Well, I don't want to sound forward, but do you mind me staying here?"
Whoa whoa whoa! That wasn't forward at all, man! "W-what made you think I would share my personal space?" As much as I pity him and all, this social interaction is still locked.
"Hmm… because you are… mine." His cute smiling expression didn't change for a second.
"I don't remember reading some 'terms and conditions' before signing that I would be yours."
"You said you would be *my* friend, so I'm just securing what's mine."
Wait, wait. What? "Dude, you really don't know how all the 'friendship' stuff works, right?"
"Д-да [Russian- Yes]…" the Russian glanced down, "I means, no! I don't know how it works." He raised his head and looked at me right in the eye. "I've never had anyone wanting to be my friend before."
Oh, oh Ivan... I mean, the other nations simply excluded him and as much as I wanted to help strangers on Tumblr, I need to help the nation who's not a stranger to me.
"First of all, I'm your friend, and not your property." I smiled, "Come on in."
"What?" His eyes widened with surprise.
"I said, come on in." I gestured the door with my arms, "You should enter before I change my mind."
"Really?" Apparently he isn't used to these things.
I'm trying to be nice over here and he doesn't seem to collaborate. And I have a short patience, okay?
I didn't reply, I just grabbed his left wrist and pulled him inside the bedroom and afterwards locked the door. It wasn't that difficult to drag him around as it might seem, or I'm pretty strong and didn't realize it. I can't believe I'm doing this…
After locking the door, I glanced at the Russian, but he seemed a bit too absorbed in looking through my stuff.
"You don't seem to be having books on how to make friends, so I assume you are an expert?" Ivan turned to me after examining my desk carefully.
?
Does he have those 'Making Friends for Dummies" kinda stuff?
I read the "Cooking for Dummies", but I didn't make any progress (I still exploded the microwave twice this year).
"Well, it maybe comes naturally or maybe not." ? "Okay, okay, sit down. Let us talk for a bit, shall we?" I walked over to my bed and pushed my laptop all the way to the head of the bed, so that a big guy such as Ivan could sit down at the same time as me.
"Can I?" Russia asked, before seating.
"Go ahead." I said, as I sat down.
Soon after the Russian sat down, sinking the cushion in a very weird way, since he was much heavier than me, which made me unintentionally slide a bit closer to him.
There was an awkward silence between us, until I decided to break it by asking a question right in the point.
"Why your fellow nations exclude you?" Maybe I already know the answer, but I want to hear from him.
"I don't know! I never do anything wrong, I make them hang out with me with my pipe, but they never seem to have such good time as I do." The Russian replied, his voice soft and somewhat sad.
How should I explain to him that he's making everyone scared of him because of his 'different' friendship methods?
I scratched my head. "Hmm… first, you should understand that waving Mr. Pipe around and make your fellow nations hang out with you by force will make them fear you." Good one, Rosa. If I weren't you I'd bow to your awesomeness.
"There is nothing wrong with the way I hang out!" Ivan exclaimed angrily.
Wow, dude chill.
"Everything's wrong, Ivan! Don't you get it?" I never thought I'd be so understanding of his problems, well, I understand a lot, since I run an advice Tumblr. "You should not make people do stuff for you by using force!" It usually helps. "Violence is what bad guys do. And I'm sure you're not a bad guy."
"I don't understand."
"You see, you have to be nice to people, so they'll be nice to you too!" I'm one of the few exceptions, I'm rarely nice or in a good mood. Even my neutral expression makes me look like I'm always in a bad mood, which is convenient because it's usually true.
"I don't see you beying very nice to others."
Ouch.
He touched the open wound. I know, okay! It's just my personality, there's nothing wrong with being grumpy and bitchy! And plus, I'm not the only one! I know many people who are like that! Like Regina George from Mean Girls!
Well, most of them are plainly mean or want to take advantage of others. But believe it or not, I'm Not like that.
Don't lie...
Okay, okay! I take advantage of people all the time, but nobody knows what goes on inside the black hole that is my head. I have issues, I know. "I'm not the nicest person on Earth, but still I don't make people hang out with me with a pipe!"
"You were doing the lie to me. You don't want to be my friend." Russia stood up from his seat, so he could tall greatly over me, probably to cause intimidation. But that doesn't work with Rosalina Mean Cortez. "You want to use me like everyone else does and leave me alone!"
"That's not true! I really want to be your friend, I'm just trying to help you." I love how my head says dark stuff and my mouth says cute stuff. Maybe I'm a softie at heart, after all, "Because, that's what friends are for. They help each other in times of need."
The Russian sighted sadly, "So you are not going to do the leaving?"
"No." He sat down again, much calmer.
There was a long awkward silence between us for a while. Perfect for the thinking both of us needed to do.
I'm a bitch. I'm not nice. I'm nice to people virtually but not in real life. I need to work on being nicer, and Ivan is a perfect way to practice.
See? I'm using him. No... I mustn't do that to him. You said you would be nice, and now you have to put put all the niceness you have inside.
Great, I'll have to pull out my intestines even more than what I've already done.
"It hurts, Подсолнечник [Russian- Sunflower]." Ivan finally broke the silence.
"What hurts?"
"You said some very mean things to me." He then added, "But I'm not of doing anything wrong."
"Yes, you are."
He lifted his head and looked at me, "Why are you doing this?"
"Because you're hurt, and I know that feeling." That's a story for another time, folks, "You know, we aren't that different after all." I smiled. "I want to help you overcome this."
"If you say that everything I am of doing is wrong, what will you do to fix me?"
"I still don't know...but just like the song goes, 'all we need is love'."
"Love?" His eyebrows raised in surprise.
"What about it?"
"Sometimes, when I drink enough vodka, it tastes the way I of imagine love to be being. The love like the one in the movies, the one that people always talk about." Russia smiled. "I have ever been of loved, and I don't believe I have of loved anyone before."
Shit's worse than what I had imagined. "Nobody...nobody loved you before?" Seriously, I'm not a very good person for this job, since I practically hate everyone. That's why Cat and Dan should be thankful, since I love them and hate everyone else.
He nodded. "Maybe you are right, Rosalina, maybe people don't of love me because I hurt them too." I'm always right, I know. "But I don't want to be bad to others anymore. I want to do the loving to someone... I want to be of loved. It must be wonderful, да [Russian-Yes]?" I must help him. He needs someone who will be by his side...and I think I can do this. "I wish I had someone to help me."
"You have now." I smiled. "I'm your friend, and friends love each other and take care of one another."
I don't think I've never said so many cheesy things in my entire life.
"I'm sorry for trying to be forcing you to become one with me, and of saying you were mine."
"It's okay. We all makes mistakes."
"But I-" Then, mysteriously, a wave of cheesiness surrounded me, and I hugged the Russian tightly. I freaking hugged him. This the maximum of human (technically nation) interaction I've done in three years. "Hmm? What are you doing?"
"Look, I'm trying to be nice by giving you a hug and-" I started to say, but got cut off.
"A hug?" He questioned, as I let go of him.
"Don't tell me..." I sighed, "Oh-kay." This is not going to be easy, "Anyway, I don't like to touch people, but I gave you a hug, so you should feel special."
He smiled, "I already do, моя подруга [Russian- my (female) friend]."
I clapped my hands together. "So, before this gets any awkward, I should arrange a place for you to sleep."
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes." That was the reason why he came here in the first place, "Just don't try to 'become one with me' while I'm asleep."
"Why would I do that to you?" Ivan smiled innocently "Besides, it would be more pleasurable if you were of awake, дa [Russian-Yes]?"
? I guess I'll have be to ignore that.
So, I started making the bed bellow mine. I grabbed the sheets, pillows and some more stuff, as the Russian just watched me, kinda satisfied with himself.
After all he made his first 'official' friend today. And the awesome me, out of all people! I'm proud of me and my new friend. I'm not a very friendly person (since I have only three friends, and they'd be Cat, Dan and my friend from Belarus who I met on the internet, Tanya).
Once I was done and pretty proud of myself, I announced to the Russian, who was looking through my stuff again. Seriously, what do people have with my stuff? Is there a magnet of some sort or something? "Okay, here's your bed. Enjoy."
With that, I jumped on the bed and once Ivan was lied down on his bed, I switched off the light and proceeded to do what I needed to do.
...
Actually, I didn't even reply to that ask, I kept watching bad X-Factor auditions. Procrastination is my talent.
After some time, maybe some hours, (actually some hours had passed, and now it was 1 AM) and Ivan was still awake.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm on my Tumblr, why?" I quickly closed all the Youtube tabs and returned to the work I should be doing.
"Nothing…It's that it its already very lates and you still are up." He was probably glaring at me from the floor, but I didn't look back at him.
"So are you." My comeback game is gold, "My sleeping pattern is always messed up, but I'll just finish here and go."
"What do you do in your Tumblr?"
"You know, I have this 'relationship advice' thing in which I help people with friendship problems." If it was any other nation, I would have replied 'Well duh, I was doing what everyone does on Tumblr: fangirl and watch porn', but since it's my new friend Russia, I didn't do that, "But that doesn't mean that I'm a softie, okay! I'm still tough even though I help people with their problems."
"Being of reals?" Broken English is great.
"Yeah, come here and see it for yourself." I patted the spot beside me in the bed, so that he could see that I'm being nice.
"Can I?" He stood up.
"Sure, come here and seat by my side." I scooted as close to the wall as possible, so that both of us could fit, "It'll be somewhat uncomfortable but okay."
"Спасибо [Russian- Thank you]." Russia replied, glancing at the bright yellow screen (that was the main color of my Tumblr).
I noticed his stare at the ask, so I decided to explain what it was all about.
"Look, I was helping this girl earlier today, that time I shouted at the computer telling it I was not his little bitch." I pointed at the ask.
Ivan nodded in understanding, "Oh, but what is her problem?"
"She fell in love with her best friend, who is also a girl."
"I don't understand why it is a problem."
"There isn't a problem. She's only afraid that her friend won't accept her feelings and they'll lose their friendship forever." I explained, "There is nothing wrong with loving, even if they have are of same sex."
"So you are an expert on friendship." Ivan giggled, as he looked at my face.
"Nah, I just like to help." I waved my hand.
"You don't show much your soft side, дa [Russian-Yes]?"
"Neither do you." Touché. Hahahahha.
"I will have to be thanking England for cursing the scones." He said, in a very quiet tone, which enabled me from listening correctly.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing." Ivan smiled, "Я больше не один являюсь [Russian-I'm not alone anymore]."
-Yay-
Rosalina: So yeah! Short and cheesy chapter!
China: It was cute, aru!
Japan: Yes, and I think I'll write a fanfiction about it.
Rosalina: Okay, okay! Enough! Today we have a sneak peak!
Italy: Really? Yay!
-Chapter 'What could go wrong with some shopping?' sneak peak-
I woke up by some voices outside of the room, "Rosiiiiieeee!? Time to wake up! I need to be fed! Ugh, I might not be knocking hard enough...where's the big Commie when I need him?" Hmm? Someone's knocking on the door, but I'm not going to answer right now. Nor am I opening my eyes.
Obnoxious. Alfred for sure.
"Shut up, America, aru! She is sleeping!" Yeah, China, stop him..
"But I'm hungry!" Nobody cares, Alfred.
"Nobody cares!" Good one, England.
"Look, you guys! I-a found a neat key inside a jar of cookies! It must-a be the key to Rosa's bedroom!" I underestimated Italy. He is not as dumb as I thought.
"How do you know?" Germany asked.
"It has a keychain a-written 'Rosalina's bedroom' in it."
"That makes sense." Japan acknowledged.
"We have to open it!" America shouted. I'm sure that America has the key by now.
"America, remember what Rosa said, 'There are things American but Amerishouldn't'" Canada quoted me!? I'm so awesome.
"That should be your foreign policy, you know." France added.
"This time, American and Ameriwill!" I'm should get up and shit, but I just don't care. "Fuck da rulez!" ...and the door was unlocked. "Commie?! What are you doing? Don't hurt Rosie!"
Wait, what? Ivan is sleeping in the bed bellow mine.
"The only one I would be hurting is you, America." The Russian replied. He should be nice and shit, or did everything I said yesterday just faded?
I opened my eyes and the big Russian was lying in my bed beside me.
And to top it off, he was hugging me. I don't know if I should be madder at Alfred for interrupting my sleep or Ivan for invading my personal space after I told him to sleep bellow.
All the other nations peeked at the door, and everyone fucking saw it.
"Ivan!"
-End of sneak peak-
America: I'm excited to what will happen next!
Russia:You should fear what will happen next.
Rosalina: Ivan! What did I say about being nice?
Russia: hmm.. Okay, sorry, If America wasn't so of stupid, I would be of nicer!
America: Hey! I heard that!
Rosalina and Russia: Nobody cares.
England: If you liked the chapter, why not review? Do it!
France: Ugh, I agree with England... Review please?