It's unfortunate that I can't update this fic as often as I would like to but I've been really busy with work and family. I'm hoping you guys still remember that this fic is not done yet and I will continue writing and posting (albeit once in a blue moon). I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter. xoxo.

Chapter 31

Four words. I want a divorce. That was enough to send Nathan's world spiraling down. He stared at Haley through glassy eyes.

"Hales, please. We need to talk about this," he said.

She shook her head defiantly. "We spent months not talking and suddenly now you want to talk. There's nothing to talk anymore Nathan."

He ran his fingers through his hair. The familiar feeling of utter helplessness came creeping back. "You don't love me anymore. I understand," he said in a small voice.

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare say that!" she said angrily. "I love you Nathan. But one thing I've learnt since Lily's death is that love may not be enough to keep us together. You taught that to me! I can't keep doing this Nathan. I tried to talk to you and you refused to let me in. Lily was my child too. I carried her for nine months and suddenly she was gone. I was in pain too but you refused to see that. You only saw your pain. And now you've been seeing Rachel. It's only a matter of time before you realize that I'm not the one you need, and I can't wait for that day to come."

He walked over to him and this time she didn't move away. He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes, now filled with tears.

"Did you really think I was leaving you?" he asked brokenly.

She closed her eyes and tears streamed down her face. The sight of her crying broke his heart. Had he brought this much pain to her?

"Hales?" he urged. "Look at me." When she did he asked again, "did you think I was going to leave you?"

She looked him straight in the eye and said, "yes."

"Well I'm not," he said. "I'm never gonna leave you."

"Nathan, you already left me the day Lily died," she said and broke away from him. Her words hit home. He realized that what she said was true and he didn't even realize it until that moment.

She looked at the face she had loved all her life. Gathering her will she said, "I'm gonna take a walk while you pack." And before he could stop her, she was gone.

For a long while after she left he stood in the empty house as if rooted to the ground. In a matter of minutes his entire world had crumbled down and all he could do was watch.

She stood outside the door shaken. Had she really done that? Let go of the only person she loved? The only person she would ever love? Suddenly she felt as if she couldn't breathe. She needed to get away from the house. Although she didn't know where she was going, she kept on walking. Before long she realized that she had reached the cemetery where Lily was buried. Tears kept streaming down her face as she walked to her grave. The sight of her tiny grave was enough to make her cry uncontrollably.

"I'm so sorry baby," she sobbed. "I couldn't keep you and I couldn't keep your daddy. I'm so so sorry," she said brokenly.

By the time she got back to the house, it was late evening. The house seemed dark and empty and she realized that Nathan was gone. She could feel fresh tears threatening to fall. She shook her head defiantly. She had done enough crying that day. She took a deep breath and switched on the lights. It was then that she saw the note on the mantel atop the fireplace. She took it and traced the familiar handwriting. She was almost afraid to read it but she slowly opened it.

Hales, I'm sorry I did this to you. To our family. I love you. I always have and I always will. Always and forever, remember? I just want to know that I'm keeping that promise. I know I've broken a lot of promises to you, but this one is forever. I was selfish and stupid and you were right for leaving me. I'm sorry I let you down. I should have been there for you when you needed me and I'm realizing this too late. Be happy Hales. That's all I ask of you. I love you. Nathan.

She clutched the note to her chest and this time she did not hold back the tears. She had lost not only her husband, but also her best friend.

Nathan could not sleep a wink that night. He had come knocking on Lucas's door. Lucas only had to look at the duffel bag that he was carrying to know what had happened. He didn't say anything. Instead he opened the door and let Nathan in. He saw the pained look on Nathan's face and shook his head. He saw this coming but he kept his opinion to himself.

Only when he had Nathan settled in in the spare room did he open his mouth. "What happened?" he asked as he sat himself down on the bed next to Nathan.

Nathan ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Lucas with tired eyes. "I pushed her too far Luke. She ah…she wants a divorce." Hearing him say it out loud made it more real and even more painful. He rubbed his eyes. He did not want Lucas to see him cry.

Lucas drew in his breath. "Geez Nate," he said disbelievingly. He had thought that the worst that could happen was Haley telling Nathan that she needed some time to herself. But a divorce? That was unthinkable. He thought that they could work out their problems. Haley and Nathan had always been inseparable, even when they were just friend. But not anymore.

"How serious is she? Maybe she just said it in a moment of anger. Maybe she did not mean it," Lucas tried to reason.

Nathan gave a bitter laugh. "Oh she meant it, believe me. She thought I was cheating on her with Rachel. Rachel called me when I was talking to her and she asked me if I have been seeing Rachel."

"Have you?"

"Yes-"

"Geez Nate. What the hell were you thinking?" Lucas bellowed.

For the second time that night Nathan felt he had to defend himself. "Luke, it's not what you think. Me and Rachel, we are over. We have been over for a long time."

"Then what the hell are you doing with her behind Haley's back?"

A moment of silence fell between them. It was a while before Nathan spoke again. "I can't tell you."

Lucas shook his head in disbelief. "And why the hell not? Have you really been cheating on Haley?"

Nathan looked at Lucas in the eyes. "How could you ask me that? I could never do that to Haley."

Lucas sighed in frustration. "You know what? I'm not even gonna ask. I can see that you're not ready to tell me. Just let me know when you want to talk okay? You know I will always be here for you little brother."

Nathan smiled at him gratefully. "Yeah I know. You'd better get back to Brooke. How is she doing by the way? With the pregnancy I mean?"

"She's doing great," Lucas said reluctantly.

"Lucas, you don't have to hide your happiness. I know what that feels like. And believe me it's something you want to share with the whole world if you could," Nathan said with a small smile. He remembered the time when he saw the picture of the scan at Haley's house. That felt like a lifetime ago, he thought. And then he remembered the day Lily died and the familiar ache in his heart came creeping back in.

"You should get some sleep," Lucas said and patted his shoulder as he got up to leave. "See you in the morning little brother."

"Yeah see you," Nathan said before he sank into his bed. He felt his eyes burn and for the first time that day felt exhausted. Despite his exhaustion he could not seem to fall asleep. He kept replaying the horrible moment when he heard the word "divorce" coming out of Haley's mouth. A thousand thoughts came through his head. He thought of a million things he should have done, things he should have said. What he wanted right now was to turn back time. And Haley lying in bed next to him, holding him close and telling him that everything was going to be alright.

Nathan woke up late the next morning and silently thanked Lucas for not waking him up earlier. He didn't know what time he managed to fall asleep but it felt like it was just an hour ago. He was glad that he didn't have to go to school seeming as it was Saturday. He was hoping to get breakfast at Karen's Café. He didn't want to trouble Lucas and Brooke more than he already did. As he got ready for shower, he wondered if Haley found the note that he left for her. And if she did whether she read it. He was aching to see her but knew that she didn't want to see him. He knew that he had hurt her but he also knew that he will try to get her back and convince her that they belonged together no matter what.

He entered into Lucas's kitchen and saw Brooke tidying. She looked up and for a minute he thought that she was going to lash out at him for hurting Haley. He knew that Lucas must have told her what happened. He wasn't going to defend himself. He felt he deserved whatever lashing Brooke was going to give him. He was surprised when she came over to him and enveloped him in a hug.

"You and Haley will get through this. I know it. Just hang in there ok," she said reassuringly. She said it with such a conviction that he believed her and became more determined than ever to win Haley back.

"Are you hungry? Me and Lucas are heading out to Karen's to get a bite," she said when they pulled away.

"I was going there anyway," he said.

"How are you holding up?" she asked and sat down at the breakfast table. He took a seat next to her looked at her glumly.

"Not very good. I feel like all this while I've been living in a bubble and last night the bubble burst and the whole world came crashing down on me. She wanted a divorce Brooke," he said with a shake of his head.

She took his hand in hers and said, "you listen to me. You and Haley, you guys love each other to much to let this marriage be over. You were stupid and selfish but now that you've come to your senses, it's time to get her back."

He winced at the harshness of her words. "It won't be easy Brooke, getting her back."

"Of course it won't be easy. The question is, do you want her back?"

"I do want her back more than anything."

"Good, now let's go to Karen's coz I know she'll be there. Peyton asked her out for breakfast this morning," she said with a wink.

He grinned and called out to Lucas to tell him to hurry it up. He couldn't wait to see his wife.

The bell above the door at the entrance of Karen's Café rang when Nathan, Lucas and Brooke came in. Nathan scanned the café for signs of Haley but he couldn't find her. He did spot Peyton at their usual table and quickly made a beeline towards her.

"Hey," he said as he slid in the seat across her.

"Hey yourself," Peyton said. "You look fine for someone-" She let her words trailed.

"Someone who's wife told him that she wants a divorce. Believe me Peyton, I am anything but fine," he said drily.

"'I'm sorry Nathan. I know what happened last night. She told me."

"Yeah, I deserve it. But I'm gonna get her back Peyton."

"I know you are," she said with a smile.

He smiled back at her. "Where is Haley anyway? Aren't you supposed to have breakfast together?"

"Yeah she went to the kitchen a little while ago. And now she's here."

Nathan looked up to see a surprised Haley looking at him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I was hungry," he said.

For a moment she felt guilty. Ever since they got together she had been making him breakfast almost every day. She dismissed the thought quickly. Nathan was a grown man. He could take care of himself.

He got up from his seat. "Hales can I talk to you?"

She threw a glance at Peyton who nodded at her encouragingly.

"Yeah sure," she said reluctantly and made her way to the exit. When they were finally outside she stood across him. She noticed that he had not shaved, a sure sign that he did not have a good night sleep. Neither did she for that matter.

Nathan looked at her and caught his breath. It had been a long time since he really looked at her. She looked beautiful except for the exhaustion that was etched on her face.

"How are you?" he said finally.

"Nathan, you could have asked me that question when we were inside. What do you want to talk about?" she asked.

Her harshness threw him but he held his composure. "About what you said last night, about wanting a divorce, did you mean it?"

She looked at him in surprise. "Yeah, I did," she said finally.

"Don't do it," he pleaded. "Please Hales, we can work this out?"

"Nathan I've been trying to do that since Lily died but you didn't want to," she said defensively. "I'm done trying Nathan. I'm tired of making you feel good when I'm suffering myself."

He refused to give up. "Did you get my note?" She nodded. "Did you read it?"

Again she nodded. "Nathan, it doesn't matter-"

"It does matter!" He exclaimed. "I love you and that matters and you still love me. I meant every word I said in that note Hales."

She shook her head. "Why couldn't you have said those words before? It's too late."

He grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes, "It's not too late. We belong together Haley. Don't do this. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I'll do anything to save our marriage. Don't throw this away."

"Tell me what you were doing with Rachel," she asked. He let go of her shoulders.

"I wasn't doing anything with her," he said after a moment of silence.

She looked at him with steely eyes. "You can lie all you want Nathan. I'm done. We're done." She turned on her heels and started to walk away. Before she knew it, he grabbed her hand and spun her around.

"Hales," he pleaded one last time. She saw the pain in his eyes and for a moment wanted to give in.

"You think this is hard for you Nathan?" she asked quietly. "What about me? I lost our baby. And you never once asked if I was okay. Last I checked that's now how a husband shows his love to his wife."

He let go of her hand upon hearing her words. "You're right. I hurt you and there's no excuse for that. But I'm trying to make things right. So I'm begging you Hales, let me come home."

She shook her head. "It's too late Nathan. I've already called my lawyer last night."

He reeled in shock. He thought that he could persuade her to change her mind. Once again he was too late.

A/N: Let me know what you guys think okay? xoxo