I read spoilers about last weeks (6/14) episode so I knew what was coming.. But it really didn't even prepare me for the loss of Denise. I liked her. She was good and kind and honest. So much like Beth. She made Daryl think and feel things. Just like Beth. I am tired of losing people too. It gets old but it never gets easier. This part is dedicated to Denise Cloyd.
Beth rolled over and felt the empty space beside her. She opened her eyes. Daryl was at the window. She watched him for a minute before he seemed to sense her eyes on him. He seemed tense and she wasn't sure why. Maybe this run, taking her and Denise was probably nerve wracking for him. He always felt the need to take care of everyone. But she could take care of herself.
"Is it time to go?" she asked.
"Mmm hmm." he watched her as she stretched and stood up. Last night he had watched her sleep and he didn't want the morning to come. Here they were safe. Out there they weren't going to be.
She grabbed her boots and shoved her feet into them. She wandered into Daryl's bathroom and picked up a brush and re did her pony tail. She looked closely at her scars in the mirror. It was wishful thinking to hope they'd fade. But she did. The ace bandage she'd wrapped her stomach in a few days before was in her bag and she thought it was probably a good idea to wrap it today. She pulled up her shirt. The bandage beneath was free from blood which was a good thing.
"Daryl can you hand me my bag?" she called out to him. He stepped into the room and handed her the bag. He reached out and ran a finger down her side next to the bandage. It made Beth shiver and goosebumps broke out on her skin. She wasn't sure how to act or what to expect. Yet. Because something was starting. Or continuing. She wasn't sure which it was. But he'd kissed her and they had now slept in each other's beds. She wasn't going to complicate it by thinking about it. Not yet.
"How's it healing?" he asked.
"Good." Beth said. She swallowed hard and watched as he brushed his finger along the edge of the bandage. There was knock at the door.
"Glenn and Denise are here." Aaron called out. Daryl dropped his hand and backed away from Beth. She dug in her bag and found the bandage, wrapped it tight around her middle and after securing it with a safety pin she pulled her tank top down and put on her hoodie. Grabbing her pack she walked back into the room.
"We goin' ?" she looked at him. But she avoided his eyes. Her face felt flush. His finger on her skin had skewed her focus. He didn't answer right away. He just stood there watching her. "Daryl?"
"Yeah. We're goin' " he went out the door and she followed him.
They spent the morning walking. Daryl cringed every time Denise stepped on a stick and drew attention to them. Half the time the sounds were magnified by his own mind. Beth watched him and appreciated that he held his tongue. She moved up beside Denise and pointed to the ground.
"Watch for sticks and stuff that makes noise. It's really hard to see." Beth said lightly. And Denise nodded and took a little more care. Daryl gave her a little nod. He'd been watching Beth closely as they made their way through the woods. She was paying attention to everything. "The signs are all there, ya just gotta know how to read 'em." Echoes from the past. But she was doing it. She was reading the signs. He felt something deep inside watching her do these things, these things that he had taught her to do. Maybe it was pride? He never really felt proud of much in his life, so he wasn't quite sure what that felt like. He just let it sit.
Hours later they still hadn't seen any signs that other people had been here. Other people being the saviors. This might possibly be a way into Atlanta. They had stayed close to the road and fro the most part it was clear. There were a few trees they'd need to move as they passed through.
"I think we can turn back. We've seen what we came to see right?" Glenn questioned the others, mainly Daryl. He'd have the final say. Beth knew he must be eager to get back to Maggie after what had happened at the outpost. They were on the edge of a clearing and just beyond it was another grove of trees. The trees seemed endless out here, but just beyond this grove it was possible to see blue sky and that the way was unobstructed by trees.
"Let's go as far as those trees. Then we can turn back." Beth regarded Daryl. "It's just a little further." He looked over her shoulder and saw what she was seeing and it did seem like the trees thinned out and that possibly there was more to see ahead. But he wasn't going to make the decision on his own.
"What'd ya think? he asked Glenn. Glenn just shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm in." Denise said smiling.
Beth was already slipping away into the clearing. Daryl fought the urge to call out to her to hold up. She probably wouldn't listen anyway. She wasn't the girl he'd lost at the funeral home. He didn't know the girl he'd carried out of the hospital. He thought she was dead. And maybe she was because this girl with him now was different. Not bad different, just changed. She stayed near the edge of the clearing in case she needed coverage. Denise followed behind her. Glenn headed around the clearing on the other side.
Beth scanned the trees as she moved forward. She knew Daryl was behind her watching her. She could do this. She'd been doing this. She knew how to take care of herself. It didn't always work out how she planned, but she'd made it this far on her own. Something in the trees caught her eye. A shadow. But it was gone and she figured it was her mind playing tricks on her, trying to get her to second guess herself because he was right behind her scrutinizing her every move. She took a deep breath and kept going.
Daryl squinted in the sunlight, he thought he'd seen movement, shadows in the trees that shouldn't be there, didn't fit. He lifted his rifle and hurried towards the women. Beth was almost to the other side of the clearing. Then it all happened so fast. Her body seemed to be jerked back violently by an invisible force, but she didn't fall.
Slow motion. Everything was moving so slow. Beth felt something force her back and she stumbled but she didn't fall. She looked down, there was an arrow? Or was it a bolt sticking out of her hoodie right where her shoulder was. And there was pain like fire, like someone had twisted her arm. She heard gunshots and then a soft ompf sound from behind her. She spun around and Denise was falling.
Guns raised, Daryl and Glenn went in shooting. Shots were fired back and Daryl heard voices yelling to fall back. He saw at least two men retreating. He fired in their direction but they were out of range. Glenn was beside a body on the ground. He glanced at it and then scanned the trees. Daryl saw another body down a few feet from the first. At it's feet was a crossbow. His crossbow. The grip was covered in blood. He picked it up and glanced at the man on the ground. His hands were free of blood. Raising his gun and moving towards Glenn he glanced at the other body. No blood there either. Glenn took care of the bodies and Daryl searched the area. He found a trail of blood leading off into the trees. So whoever had shot the bolts had gotten away. He started to follow it and then he heard Beth.
"Daryl!" Shit! Beth! She was back there and she could be hurt. He turned and sprinted back to the clearing with Glenn right on his heels. She was kneeling over something, but she must have heard him coming. Standing up, she turned to face him. Her hand was at her shoulder and both were covered in blood. She was crying. She hadn't cried, not like that, since they'd found her. He felt his heart slam hard in his chest and his mouth go dry.
"Beth?" he reached for her shoulder but didn't dare touch it. At her feet was a bolt. One from his crossbow. He stared at it.
"She's… she.." Beth couldn't form the words she needed. She fell against Daryl ignoring the pain in her shoulder. Denise's lifeless body lay a few feet behind her. Another bolt protruding from her eye. She had ran to Beth when the first bolt hit Beth in the shoulder and seconds later Denise was on the ground. The bolt had hit her in the back of the head.
"We need to get out of this clearing." Glenn said.
Daryl looked down at Beth. "We need to wrap that." He was just going through the motions now because once he started thinking too hard about the bolt at Beth's feet and the one that killed Denise he would lose it.
"We are taking her with us. We aren't leaving her." Beth said and she slipped from Daryl's arms and knelt beside Denise. Glenn came over with his pack.
"I have a tarp. We can wrap her up. It will be easier that way Beth." He said gently. Beth nodded. She reached out and picked up the other girls glasses off the ground. Wiping them carefully she put them in her backpack.
They wrapped the body and Daryl and Glenn carried her. Beth had her pistol out and ready and she carried Daryl's crossbow on her back. Her shoulder was wrapped with the gauze from her stomach and a bandanna from Daryl's pocket. It had to be hurting pretty badly, but Beth didn't complain. She didn't say anything. And that worried Daryl. His eyes kept flicking to her as they walked back the way they'd come. The crossbow bounced on her back and he found it hard to even look at it. He would find that asshole. It had to have been him there in the woods. He should have killed him when he had the chance. Should've just killed them all.
Spencer was at the gate when the finally made it back. He looked at their faces and the body that Daryl and Glenn carried between them.
"Denise?" he said. Beth nodded.
"Can you help Glenn? I need.. I gotta do something." Daryl said to Spencer. Spencer closed the gate and walked over to Glenn.
Beth had kept on walking and Daryl caught up to her. She didn't slow down.
"Carol can fix that up." he said. She didn't look at him. "Beth?"
"No." she said.
"What the hell you mean no girl?" Daryl reached for her hand to slow her down. "You want an infection?" He was starting to get angry. Everything that had happened today was wrong. Taking the girls, his crossbow, the bolts. Denise's death.
"I'm going to the infirmary.. I, I want to do it. I can clean it and wrap it." she said quietly and he didn't say anything else. He just looked at her. Then he took her hand and walked with her.
"I can help you." he said. If she needed to do this for whatever reason he'd do it with her.
The infirmary was quiet. Tara was gone on another run. She wouldn't know what had happened to Denise until she came back. Beth's heart ached for her. After searching through the cupboards they found what they needed. They did all of this side by side and in silence. Daryl looked over at Beth, she was staring down at her hoodie.
"You're gonna have to cut it off." she whispered. He swallowed hard and reached for the scissors. He started at the hem and cut up. The only thing that could be heard was scissors on fabric. He kept his eyes on what he was doing and she kept her eyes on him. Their eyes met as he finished cutting through the collar. Daryl put the scissors down and helped her slip the hoodie off like a jacket. The tank top she wore underneath was soaked in blood too. He stood there with his hands at his sides not sure what to do.
"Just help me clean it and bandage it. I'll worry about the shirt later." Beth said. He gave her a slight nod and picked up the antiseptic. He heard the hitch in her breath.
"Sorry." he mumbled.
"You're not mad at me are you?" she asked. When he glanced at her she actually looked nervous.
"Why the hell would I be mad?" he said gruffly. Once the blood was gone the wound from the bolt was not much at all. He reached for a tube of antibiotic.
"Cause I.. well the bolts.. and Denise." She literally couldn't put into words why she felt he might be angry. So she just sighed. "I don't know. It didn't go as planned."
"Not your fault. You did good. I was watchin'. S'ides it was my crossbow." he fumbled with the gauze tape as he spoke that last sentence. Beth looked at him sharply.
"Don't." she said and she laid a hand on his chest. "Don't you dare blame yourself. It's not your fault."
He looked down at the tape in his hands and then back up at Beth. "I shoulda killed him when I had the chance. And I had the chance. Stead he stole my motorcycle, my bow.. Yer hurt, Denise is… She's.. That coulda been.." he ripped off a piece of tape and finished the bandage. "..you, that coulda been you." he said. He put down the tape and in a rare show of affection that was slowly becoming more comfortable between them he wrapped his arms around her and gently pulled her in close to him. He didn't say anything. But he didn't have to. Beth knew. She just knew what this hug meant without words.
Later that day Daryl buried Denise. Carol came and helped because with her injury Beth couldn't do much digging. She sat and watched. And she thought a lot about how she had got here and how sometimes she just felt angry. For no reason. Daryl and Carol dug and dug until they had a hole that would work. They didn't really talk. Not much. There was just the sound of the shovels and the dirt.
"You were right Daryl, what you said earlier. You should have killed him." Carol said. She kept shoveling and didn't notice Beth suddenly stand up.
"It's not his fault!" Beth directed this comment at Carol who looked at her completely confused.
"Beth. Stop." Daryl said. He stopped shoveling.
"What? I was just agreeing with him." Carol said.
"You can't do that! Don't you get it?" Beth cried. Daryl dropped his shovel and walked over to her. She took a step back when he got close to her and he saw a look in her eyes that he'd never seen before.
"Don't do this girl." he said evenly.
"You're not to blame. I been blaming you this whole time for not coming back and finding me. And that was bullshit!" Beth held her ground as he approached her again. "It wasn't your fault. The crossbow isn't your fault. Denise isn't your fault. We're all just good people making hard decisions. And they don't always work out. I gotta believe that. I gotta believe in something or what's the point?" she turned and stomped off in the direction of Rick's house, her blonde ponytail bouncing in the fading sun. Daryl watched her go and he bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. Another thing Daryl did not do was laugh.
"What was that all about?" Carol asked a bewildered expression on her face.
Daryl shook his head. "She's coming home. We mighta found her a few days back, but she's finally coming home." Daryl knew this made no sense whatsoever to Carol, but he thought he'd figured it out. Beth was finding whatever part of herself she'd lost out there. She was finding her hope again and that was scary. It was easier to just give up and give in than to keep hoping and having things fall apart. Daryl knew first hand how that worked. But he also knew that Beth had sat on the porch in the dark at that piece of shit moonshine shack with him and she'd shone bright, so full of hope, that even he took some of that with him and tucked it away. Good people make hard decisions. It happened. He couldn't carry that guilt with him forever.