Disclaimer: This piece is a sequel to my first story "To fall below adversity" so I suggest if you haven't already, to read that one first. Further warning, this is also going to be angsty and somewhat dark and depressing story at times; like my first one. I don't own CSI or anything relating to them, I'm just borrowing them to satisfy my stupid brain. Any references to real life events; anything I may have read, seen or heard are completely unintentional and coincidental. I gain nothing from this other than to finally get this idea to stop repeating in my head. So please don't sue me or threaten to kill me. If this offends you in any way or it just plain sucks, I apologize that you've wasted several minutes of your life you'll never get back. Just pretend you never saw this, know for future reference to avoid it at all costs should you ever see the title again, and go on with your life. Any and all mistakes are mine. Also, any names, places or references are purely fictional! I have taken liberties to make this interesting and keep it flowing, so not everything is going to be 100% realistic and true to life.
A/N: Thank you so, so much quietmusician and ssa-rtune for the reviews! Sorry it's taking me so long to get these out...but I have a few shorter chapters almost ready that I will post really soon. I have to warn you all that things are about to become darker now...I don't know why my brain has decided to delve into this depressing stuff, but I'm gonna go with it. Please give me a shout and let me know what you think. Thanks so much for sticking with me! Take care everyone!
Underused muscles sluggishly squirm under crisp white sheets; begging for release. Every tendon testing their pull from muscle to bone in the hope of relieving the overwhelming stiffness that lingers.
As awareness slowly creeps into Sara's mind, she fights against heavy eyelids to assess her current situation. After squinting and blinking several times her vision finally clears and she's able to deduce that she's in a hospital. Now if she can only remember why?
With a strange calmness, she gently flexes and curls her fingers and toes to ensure she has control of all her limbs. She figures she must be on some pretty good medication, because she isn't freaked out at this turn of events...for whatever reason she feels like she's done this before and there is no reason to panic.
Staring up at the panels on the ceiling, she quietly listens to the soft beeping and clicking of machines bounce off the pale green walls.
Wincing slightly after moving her shoulder, Sara raises a shaky hand to her chest where a pulling sensation and dull ache resides. With the pain, the memories of Lindsay and being shot come flooding back and she closes her eyes as the images replay themselves.
"Oh God, my beautiful little girl...oh Catherine...I'm so sorry love! But we'll get through this babe...I'm not going anywhere...we'll get through this together."
Wiping a stray tear from her eye and being mindful to not pull out he IV line attached to her left hand, Sara takes a few calming breaths before figuring out her next move.
Well, if I'm in a hospital there must be a button for a call bell around here somewhere. If I could get a nurse in here and get her to call Catherine she can explain what's going on. I remember that bastard Todd...I hope they caught his sorry ass...oh God...he better not have touched Cath!
Feeling her heart rate begin to pick up and the tightness growing in her chest, Sara tries to take a few more calming breaths for fear of causing more damage to her body. Placing her hand back over the bulky dressing that sits under the flimsy hospital gown, she finds she doesn't really want to look down at the damage the bullet had caused and what had to be done to repair it. She vividly remembers the amount of bubbling dark red blood that had poured through her fingers with every agonizing breath and she can't help but be amazed that she had actually survived.
With that thought, she freezes and struggles to grasp onto the memories that are beginning to emerge. She's contemplated that before...how much time has passed? She doesn't even know what day or month it is right now.
Finding the call bell button, Sara presses and holds it down for dear life. She really needs to see Catherine right now...there are far too many blanks in her memory that need to be filled.
"Oh good, look who's awake again! Hi Sara, I'm your nurse Roger. Your timing is perfect, Detective Brass and Mr. Grissom have just arrived. They will be thrilled to see you awake again. How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?"
Jumping slightly at the deep voice that appeared suddenly at the door, Sara just shakes her head; afraid to trust her voice. She doesn't want any more drugs in her system despite the fact the burning sensation in her chest is growing to an uncomfortable level. She's finally beginning to break through the fog that her mind is seemingly floating in and she desperately wants to regain full control of her mind and memories.
"Your vital signs still look great; I think we've finally found what was going on. You should start feeling clearer and more coherent soon. Your body still has to adjust and recover from being dormant for so long. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to panic...you're safe here and beginning to recover nicely." Roger continues before stepping back slightly to allow a weary looking Jim and troubled looking Grissom to pass by.
Looking up at the two men as they casually enter, Sara forgets her apprehension of talking and can't help but raise her voice in fear and frustration.
"Wait? ...awake again? What's going on?"
"Hi Sara honey. How are you feeling?" Grissom asks in a weary tone; glancing between Sara and her nurse.
"Where is Catherine? Did you find Todd? How long have I been here?" Sara asks as her calm begins to fade and anxiety takes its place.
A soft sigh escapes Jim's lips as he closes his eyes and tilts his head towards the ceiling; not answering Sara's flurry of questions.
"She still doesn't remember? Is it normal for her to be doing this for two days straight?" Jim asks Roger while Grissom slowly walks over to the bed and places his hand on Sara's arm.
"Hopefully things will start to become clearer for her soon. The doctor's don't believe there has been any more brain damage so her short term memory should improve now that her body is responding to the new medication." Roger replies as Jim looks down at his feet dejected.
Sara glances skittishly between all occupants in the room, beginning to look more and more like a cornered animal ready to make its escape. Frowning as she pulls her arm away from Grissom, Sara can't hide the growing frustration and anger from her voice.
"I'm right here Jim...don't talk to him like I'm not in the room! Answer me...where is Catherine...what is going on?"
Unfazed by Sara's growing anger, Grissom calmly pulls up a seat and resumes his position with his hand on her arm. At least she isn't stuttering and her voice isn't as hoarse or muffled as yesterday.
"It's okay Sara...you've just had a complicated few weeks. What's the last thing you remember?"
Turning his back to their conversation, Jim lowers his voice and addresses the nurse standing beside him.
"I really don't think I can take this much longer...watching her fall apart when we tell her the situation and hold her as she cries herself to sleep... only to repeat the same scene the next time she wakes up and asks the same questions. It's beyond heart breaking."
Having heard Jim, Sara's eyes well up with tears and without words, places a shaky hand up over her mouth.
Grissom's eyes never leave Sara's as he takes her hand and grasps it tightly.
"This is different Jim...she's completely with it now...our Sara is back."
All eyes snap to Sara before Jim slowly walks over to Sara and places a soft kiss on her forehead before taking his seat on the other side of the bed.
Sensing their need for privacy and seeing that his patient's vitals are still within safe boundaries, the young nurse excuses himself as the two men begin to explain the long painful tale.
She thought she had dreamt the car accident, but now hearing Grissom's account of the events, Sara remembers everything that had happened except for one thing.
"Where is Catherine?"
Grissom releases deep breath before continuing; intentionally ignoring Sara's interruptions.
"Sara, you have to understand...everyone was scared... you weren't responding to anyone or anything at all. This was completely different from your previous recovery. After the EEG the doctor suspected that you were experiencing almost constant mini seizures...they called it non convulsive status epilepticus."
Either unable or unwilling to hear what Grissom is trying to explain, Sara's focus is only on one thing.
"Where is Catherine?"
"Catherine was beside herself. She thought that she had lost you...that you were in a persistent vegetative state."
"Where is Catherine?"
Having heard enough, Jim cuts Grissom off as soon as he opens his mouth. Standing up, he leans forward over the bedrail so that he is completely eye level with Sara.
"When you started regaining consciousness after they put you on the new seizure medication, the hospital called me because they couldn't reach Catherine on the phone. I thought maybe she unplugged her phone so she could sleep, so I drove over to her place to tell her the good news in person. But that wasn't the case."
Stopping to take a deep breath and wipe the tears that are begging to form at the still raw memory, Jim continues.
"I found her... unconscious. When she thought she lost you, Catherine attempted suicide."