Elena had never liked Bonnie's house. Hadn't been there much, really. Bonnie had never wanted to hang out at home when they were kids. Maybe it was too quiet without a mother there, or maybe it was just that Elena had the best backyard and Caroline had the best toys. Whatever the reason, the house had always given Elena a disquieted feeling. Now, when it was dark and contained the vampire who'd just tried to rip her throat out and the vampire she'd just officially broken up with, she really didn't like it. Distantly, Elena heard clanking chains and muffled dragging noises. She shuddered, but did her best to put them out of her mind. Let Stefan deal with Abby; she was here for Bonnie.
She found her friend sitting on her bed. And she looked like hell. Hair a mess, deep, dark circles under her eyes, a thousand yard stare that saw everything and nothing. Dull eyes raised to Elena as she crossed the threshold.
"Hey," Elena said. Sorry my boyfriend killed your mom to save my ex-boyfriend. Kinda awkward. Wanna go get a milkshake at the Grill? How the hell did you start a conversation like this? Elena had played out a thousand scenarios for this, but right now, they all fled. "How are-"
"Don't." The clipped word was more painful than Abby's bite. "Don't you dare ask me how I am."
It wasn't that Elena hadn't been expecting this kind of reaction; of course she had. It didn't matter that she'd wanted to let Stefan die rather than hurt Abby. For better or worse, she and Damon were a matched set now. When he did things like this, there were consequences for her. Maybe that's what being a couple was all about. But not being able to comfort her friend, not being able to hug her and console her and just be her friend, hurt.
"Bonnie, I'm so sorry. About everything," Elena started. The words were inadequate, but she had to try. Bonnie never gave her the chance.
"Sorry? You're sorry your psychotic boyfriend murdered my mother? Seriously, Elena? Why are you even here? It's not like you care about me or anyone else now."
"That's not true. I wanted to come to you right after...right after it happened. I wanted to see you and try to make it right. But Caroline wouldn't let me, and then Damon-"
"Don't say his name. You made your choice, Elena, and now I'm making mine." Bonnie took a deep breath, and Elena felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. "You were my best friend." Were. Past tense. Elena's legs sagged suddenly, and she gripped the edge of Bonnie's dresser to remain upright. "And that's the only reason I'm not killing him. But we? We're done. We're strangers now. I don't want to see you, I don't want your help or your apologies or your pity."
There had never been a time when Elena hadn't been best friends with Bonnie. Elena even had adorable pictures of the two of them sprawled on soft baby blankets together. And now Bonnie was going to cut her out of her life like she'd never existed. Strangers. "You don't mean that. Bonnie-"
"I want you to go. And I don't want you to come back." Her words were steely and quiet, with no room for argument. Elena wished she would have screamed at her, slapped her, hurt her. Anything would have been better than this terrible chill.
"I'll go." Her legs still unsteady, Elena teetered to the door. But she turned back. "But I won't stop being your friend. If you don't want to see me, you won't. But I'll never stop being there for you. When you need me, I'll be here."
There was no answer. She hadn't expected one.
Elena somehow drove home through the veil of tears that clouded her vision. Damon's car sat in the driveway. Dammit. If he saw her coming in like this, covered in blood and drowning in tears, this night would turn even more awful than it already was, if that was possible. His temper and his protectiveness and his vengeance would ruin everything. And Elena couldn't deal with that. She just couldn't. Maybe she should go to the boarding house and get cleaned up and come back when she looked presentable so at least she wouldn't have to tell him when she was dripping with her own blood. But Damon would have heard the car pull up. She sat in the darkness, frozen with indecision.
Headlights pierced the night. A moment later, Ric's concerned face peered into her window. Elena made a circular motion with her hand, and Ric came around to the passenger's side, sliding into the seat next to her. "Holy fuck, are you hurt?"
She wiped at her cheeks, trying to brush the tears away, but they just wouldn't stop falling. She knew Ric had no defense against a crying girl, but she couldn't help it. "Not anymore. V-vampire blood."
"I better go get Damon." He started to climb out of the car, but Elena grabbed his arm.
"Not yet. I just...I just need a minute. He's gonna freak when he sees me like this, and I just need a minute," she pleaded.
Ric didn't look happy about the idea, but he shut the car door. "Do we need to go kill anyone?"
A coughing little laughing fit clawed its way out of her. It wasn't funny; there was nothing funny about any of this. "Not tonight."
"Damon may see things differently, but I'll take your word for it." They both watched the darkness. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." She didn't. She really, really didn't. How could she tell him that she'd lost Bonnie? What had Damon called Stefan? His north star. Bonnie had been her constant, her moral compass and her friend and her confidant. Elena had always expected they'd be college roommates, be the maids of honor for each other, and take pictures of their own smiling babies. And now, she might as well have been dead.
"Okay." Elena was grateful for his quiet presence beside her, for his trust in her ability to handle the situation. They sat together, the quiet punctuated only by Elena's hiccups and sniffles. But slowly, her tears began to dry. There just weren't any more left inside her. Ric's hand rested gently on her shoulder. "You know, I've got a bottle of Chivas hidden away. I bet I could buy you long enough to shower and get changed with the promise of some descent whiskey."
Elena gave a watery smile. "You're the best." She leaned across the console, kissing his cheek. "Thank you. I'm glad you stayed."
Ric patted her shoulder again. "Me too. Most days. Me too. Give me five minutes, then come in through the back."
The plan worked. Almost. Freshly showered, Elena was trying to sneak out of her bedroom with the armful of bloody clothes when Damon walked up the stairs. He stopped dead as he rounded the corner, staring at the bundle in her arms. "I can explain," Elena said.
"Shit. I knew Ric would never bust out the good stuff without a reason. Idiot." He slapped his forehead with his palm. He tore his eyes from the ruined clothes to her face, still splotchy and red. "You've been bleeding and crying. What the hell did that bitch do to you?" He seized her chin, turning her head this way and that, looking for marks, looking for blood. "I'm going rip that self-righteous little-"
"Bonnie didn't hurt me." Not true. "Bonnie didn't make me bleed. She wouldn't do that. And you aren't going to go anywhere near her. Do you hear me?" Damon shot her a petulant look, his upper lip curling. "I'm not kidding. You have to promise me."
"No deal. I have to know what happened before I can give her a get out of jail free card," he said. That was fairly fucked up, but Elena was too tired to argue with him.
"Just let me get rid of this and we'll talk. I'll tell you everything, okay?" Elena said, trying to keep her voice soft and soothing. She just didn't want to deal with an unhinged, pissed off Damon. Not tonight.
"Forget that." He pulled the clothes from her unresisting hands and let them fall to the ground before taking her in his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder. No more crying. She wasn't going to cry again. Shit, she was crying.
Damon lifted her off her feet, carrying her to the bed and slipping her between the sheets. He lay beside her as she fumbled for the Kleenex box at her bedside, desperately wiping at the tears. She had to be strong.
"It's okay. You can let go. You're safe," Damon said.
Oh, was that ever the best and worst thing he could have said at that moment. The shower of tears turned into a monsoon, and she clung to him, a sobbing, soggy mess. Slowly, she revealed the story to him. Abby's attack. Stefan the savior. Bonnie's rejection. He didn't interrupt her for once, let her get the story out in her own time.
"I didn't think I'd lose Bonnie. Not like this. We were—we were supposed to be the little old ladies at the nursing home racing each other in wheelchairs," Elena hiccuped.
Damon shifted, resting his chin on top of her head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to pay for what I did."
So was she. She didn't want it to be like this, but it was. "I knew what I was getting into when we started this. But this, with Bonnie...it's been a long time coming." Ever since Bonnie had made feathers float through the air and Elena had fallen in love with the walking dead, things had been changing between them. They'd changed. Grams' death, Bonnie's Founders Day betrayal, their battle against Klaus, Elena's love affair with Damon...It had all been coming. This was just the final nail in the coffin. But it still sucked. "Now will you promise me you won't hurt her? More than that—you'll leave her alone?" He didn't answer. Minutes stretched on and on, and still he didn't answer. "Damon."
"She hurt you. She tried to kill me. She's a loose cannon. At any time, she could decide that you're the real problem. It's too dangerous." His arms tightened around her, but she pushed him away, anger lancing through her pain. This was why she hadn't wanted to tell him. She knew he'd pull something like this.
"You're talking about killing my best friend. Do you even hear yourself? This isn't cute, this isn't funny, this isn't protective. You are talking about murder." Elena had always believed that vampires had a different code of ethics. But did they really? Caroline didn't. Caroline had killed after she'd first transitioned, and she'd killed to save herself, but never with pleasure, never for revenge. And Stefan, when he was clean and sober, valued human life. But Damon didn't. Maybe it wasn't some fundamental flaw in vampires—maybe it was some missing piece of Damon.
"Self defense, Elena. Did you miss the part where she blamed you for things that weren't your fault? Or the part where she has a thousand dead witches backing her up? Look, if she wants to melt my brain or set me on fire, that's one thing. But when she starts getting you involved-"
"She hasn't. Abby did, and it was an accident. But you can't try to kill everyone who hurts my feelings. People just don't act like that."
"One of these days, you're going to have to accept that I'm not a person." His voice was rife with loathing, thick and smothering. Elena reached for him. Monster or no, all she wanted was to soothe that awful pain. But he caught her wrist before she could touch him. "No. You shouldn't have to comfort me. Not tonight. I won't go anywhere near either of them. They get a reprieve. This time. No guarantees going forward."
That was going to have to be good enough, for tonight at least. "I don't want to hurt her, Damon. Not now, not ever. I just want her back." Her voice shook. God, she just wanted her best friend back.
His fingers brushed her neck, ghosting over the flesh that had been torn and ragged and bloody scarce hours before. Elena shivered. "People come and go through your life. It's just part of it. You and Bonnie are walking different roads now."
"That was deep, Damon," she murmured sleepily, burrowing her head against his chest. He smelled like home.
His chest heaved with laughter. "Don't know about that, but I have a little experience in that department. I'm an expert at burning bridges. I'm just sorry I burned yours."
"I'm sorry it's burned. I'm not sorry about you. I love you, no matter what you are." Elena never thought she'd be able to sleep after the night she'd had. But her eyelids were heavy, and in Damon's arms, she knew that things would turn out all right. Somehow. Probably.
"You too. More than you know." His lips brushed her hair. "Go to sleep, everything will look brighter in the morning."
As sleep dragged her down, she prayed he was right.