"Yes, I fucked Sage. It was a long time ago and I was still a hot mess over Katherine and it's not going to happen again," Damon said as they slid into the Camaro. "I mean, gingers have no souls, right? Plus, she was weirdly bossy and demanding, and not in a good way."
Elena pulled the car door shut, blinking over at him. "Damon."
"And yes, Rebekah has been hanging around, but nothing has happened and nothing will happen, because besides the fact that I love you, I'm pretty sure my dick would shrivel up and fall off it came within ten feet of that bitch. Mostly she's just been asking me about lumber mills and things that happened in the early twentieth century and not about doing the horizontal mambo or anything related to Klaus, so with Ric going all accidental psycho killer, I didn't think it was important enough to mention." He paused for breath. "What am I forgetting? I feel like there was some other hot water that conversation got me into."
"You aren't in hot water, Damon, but I'm starting to think Sage was right. Would you like your balls back?" Elena asked sweetly, reaching out to take his hand.
Damon grinned and tugged her hand into his lap so she could confirm that the body parts in question were still firmly in place. Elena laughed, gave a teasing squeeze, and pulled her hand away. Surprisingly, she wasn't upset about the confirmation that Sage and Damon had slept together. Really, if she was going to get in a tizzy every time she ran into one of Damon's paramours, she was in for a lot of consternation. Damon had never made a secret of the fact that he liked women, and Elena knew that he'd only really ever loved two of them. So long as Katherine stayed far, far away and the rest of his exes remained in the past, she could deal.
"You don't have my balls," Damon said. "And I'm no neutered puppy, fuck you very much, Sage. I just...I could tell that conversation was getting to you. Hell, it was getting to me and I knew what was going on. So I didn't want you to think I was hiding anything from you." He laced his fingers through hers.
"I know you aren't. You aren't always Mr. Transparency, so I appreciate that you're making an effort. Thank you. Now fill me in on the rest of it," Elena said. Damon released her hand and put the car into gear, heading back to the Gilbert house. Elena checked her phone, but there was no word from Ric or Meredith. Elena felt a sudden wave of panic. Maybe they shouldn't have left Ric alone with Meredith. But without the ring, surely he'd be fine. Elena fought the tide of anxiety. Everything was fine; they were probably still running tests.
"I met Sage about a hundred years ago, when I came back to Mystic Falls for my nephew's funeral," Damon said slowly, with that look in his eye that told her his thoughts were firmly rooted in the past.
"Whoa, whoa, Stefan had a kid?" Elena asked, surprise lancing through her like lightning. That's how nephews worked, right?
Damon laughed. "Please. Stefan didn't even know where to put his dick before he met Katherine, and no offspring were going to come from that. My father dipped his pen in the company ink. Once we 'died,' that kid got promoted from bastard to full Salvatore. Someone had to carry on the name."
That certainly made a hell of a lot more sense. "Got it. Your nephew died and you came back to town," she prompted.
"Right. So, came back for Zachariah's funeral and Stefan dragged me to some weird underground Fight Club thing; not really sure what it was about, but hey, it seemed like fun at the time. And Sage was one of the boxers, which was very scandalous for 1912. Of course, since she was a vampire, she never lost. Nice racket," Damon said, sounding moderately impressed by Sage's money-making scheme.
"Ohhh. That explains the cage fighting comment, though you know as well as I do that there's no such thing in Mystic Falls," Elena said.
"Just because you don't know about it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist," Damon smirked. "Anyway, you have to remember, I was a little...different back then. And by 'different,' I mean repressed and pissy. I guess Sage saw...potential in me." He stared out the window for a long moment. "She was right. I had all the potential in me to be just as twisted and sick as she was."
"I don't understand," Elena said. "What did she do to you?" Elena remembered scrutinizing that tintype of that wavy-haired man in the slouched Confederate cap, his eyes full of dreams. That man, that enigma, had become repressed and pissy? Elena had a hard time imagining Damon, the man who seemingly acted on his every whim, repressing anything at all. But a lot could change in a hundred years.
"She didn't do anything, per se. She's a convenient scapegoat, but I did everything. It was all there waiting to come out, she was just the catalyst." He shifted uneasily in his seat. "It had been fifty years since I'd lost Katherine. Well, since she ditched me, but I thought she was lost. And I still loved her. And was...faithful. Only to her," he said with a significant widening of his eyes.
"Of course you were. I know you didn't love anyone between her and me and—oh. Oh," Elena said as enlightenment dawned. "You're telling me you were-"
"Yep."
"For fifty years?"
"Yep. I was spoken for," he said, spitting the words out as if they tasted foul. Elena watched the leafless trees whizzing by outside the window, trying to gather her thoughts. Damon Salvatore, who hadn't gone more than a few days without some sorority girl or news reporter in his bed; Damon Salvatore who loved women and made love with a single-minded passion and skill that left Elena breathless, had denied himself for fifty years?
"Well. I guess I'd be a little pissy if I had a fifty year drought, too," Elena said, resting her hand on his thigh. She'd underestimated his devotion to Katherine, not to mention his self control. But Damon was loyal to his very core. If Sage had been able to jar him from fifty years of self-imposed celibacy, she must be something special. Elena wouldn't underestimate her.
Damon smiled. "Not my favorite half century, that's for sure. But that's how Sage found me, this giant ball of resentment and loathing and sexual frustration. And she told me what I wanted to hear. She told me...it doesn't matter what she told me. Bullshit about embracing the monster within. Suffice it to say, it set the tone for the next century of debauchery and excess. That asshole I was when I rolled into Mystic Falls back in '09? You can thank Sage's advice for that douchebag."
Considering that the Damon she'd met a year and a half ago had himself been a giant ball of resentment and loathing and sexual frustration, Elena wasn't sure exactly what Sage could've said. But it had obviously been a major change for Damon, to go from celibate to playboy, from pissy to wrathful. "And now she's back," Elena said.
"And now she's back," Damon agreed grimly.
"What was all that about Rebekah? And getting into her head? You can't actually do that, can you?" Elena asked.
"Well, I can't. Not with Rebekah, anyway. I could with Caroline. Probably Stefan. But an Original? No way. But Sage is old. Nine hundred years old. She could probably do it, under the right circumstances," Damon said, thoughtful.
"Do what, exactly? And what do you think Rebekah knows, anyway?" Elena was desperately trying to keep up with this conversation, but with so much back story and vampire secrets, she felt like she needed a flow chart.
"It's kinda like dream walking. When I dream walk, I can see the dreams already taking place in someone's head. This is just more focused, lets you delve a little more deeply instead of just skimming the surface of the subconscious to find what you want." He held up a hand. "That's the other thing I knew I was gonna be in trouble for. No, I've never done it to you." Elena swatted his arm. "Don't like it, feels like...cheating. But as for Rebekah, that crazy bitch is up to something. Who goes around randomly asking about lumber mills? That's not normal. I mean, I owned them and I still don't care about them," Damon said, turning onto Elena's street.
"It's a little weird, yeah. But do we need to go looking for even more trouble than we already have?" Elena asked. "Why don't we just try to stay away from the crazy vampires and deal with helping Alaric?" Because really, Elena's plate was pretty full trying to help her last parental figure from descending entirely into madness and despair. If Rebekah wanted to talk about lumber, let her. As long as it kept Rebekah and Klaus far, far away from them, Elena didn't much care what they did.
"Sooner or later, these things usually become our problem." Damon pulled into the driveway. Both Meredith's and Ric's cars already sat in he driveway. Damon threw the car into park and frowned, pulling his vibrating cell phone from his pocket. "Go on in, it's Stef. Better make sure he hasn't eaten the neighbors."
He started to answer the phone, but Elena leaned over the center console, gripping his wrist. "Thank you. For explaining. For understanding." She kissed him, long and deep and teasing, her tongue stroking against his, her teeth tugging on his bottom lip as she pulled away. He groaned softly against her.
"You're just gonna leave me like that? And now I have to talk to Stefan? You'll get yours, Gilbert," he said with a heated glance that made her stomach do somersaults. He clicked the phone on. "What?"
Elena grinned and slid out of the car, making her way up to the house with a little sway to her hips and a little swagger in her step. For once, things weren't terrible. Well, for her life, things weren't terrible. A normal person would probably be sobbing in the corner. But when all Elena had to deal with were a quasi-psychotic teacher, a slightly unhinged ex-boyfriend learning to control his blood lust, and a pair of scheming vampires with only vague plans for her own death? That was a walk in the park.
"Ric? Meredith?" Elena called as she shut the front door behind her. It was quiet in the house. So still. For some reason, Elena's skin crawled, though she couldn't say why. That was silly. Everything was fine. Ric thumped down the stairs, wrapping a bandage around his hand. But he looked...fine. Normal. Not like that empty-eyed monster from the night before. "Ric. Hey. How'd it go at the hospital?"
Ric smiled. "Fine. I was kinda tired, so Meredith sent me home. She's still looking over the files from the MRI at the hospital."
Elena froze. Meredith's car was still in the driveway. She wasn't at the hospital. Elena forced a smile to her lips. "I'm sure she'll find something. But what happened to your hand?" Her eyes darted for a weapon. The coat rack was too big. Could she scream? Would Damon hear her? Could he get there in time?
Ric looked down at his hand with an embarrassed smile. "Oh, I broke a coffee cup and sliced my hand trying to pick up the pieces. That's all it is. Hey, Stefan was looking for you. Did he find you?"
Elena shook her head. Should she let him know Damon was outside? Would that ruin the element of surprise? Because Damon was going to burst in any minute and save the day, right? Fuck, she didn't know what to do. Something was seriously wrong here. "No, I haven't seen him. I was at that stupid Wickery Bridge re-dedication." Think, Elena. Think. "Oh, damn. Left my cell phone in the car. Be right back." Elena turned to the door, and her eyes fell on the knife, glittering and sharp and coated in thick, sticky blood. "Damon!" she screamed, scrabbling to open the door.
Ric grabbed a thick hank of her hair and yanked her head back before slamming it brutally against the front door. The world exploded into pain and then descended into blessed, unfeeling darkness.