CHAPTER TWO

Tris

I sneak out of school after my test. I managed to hide my divergence for the test, so Tori didn't send me home.

The big metal bean grows in my vision as I near it, and soon I see Uriah. I break into a run and he grins as I crash into him, throwing my arms around him. "Thank God you remember, too," I say.

"I know," he says, "I couldn't do this on my own."

"So we're going to try to save everyone, right?" I ask. "Obviously my parents, Will, Marlene, Lynn, Tori.."

"Maybe even Al," he shrugs. "Hell, maybe, we can stop the whole war." His face darkens. "But… I don't think we should reveal that video. We know what's on it and what is really out there. I don't think it's worth it. The only thing that would be is Amar and George, but that's not enough. Four doesn't need to know that he's 'damaged', because he's not, and it made him all… mopey. I mean, I know dark and broody is kinda his thing, but that really wasn't too pleasant for anyone." I chuckle. It certainly was not pleasant. Least of all, for Tobias. Scratch that: least of all for Uriah, considering that it contributed to his death. "You know what happens to us there, and that Tori gets shot on our way, and that all it did was let us know that all of this is a lie when it's not."

"What do you mean, it's not?" I ask. Of course it is. It's all some made up bullshit from the Bureau. Just a stupid experiment to try and fix a problem that isn't actually a problem. Then again, it seems better than what's out there.

"It doesn't really matter how we got the factions. It's still how we were raised and how we all understand society works. People will divide around one thing or another no matter what. We won't improve anyone's life by telling them; we just need to get rid of people like Jeanine Matthews."

He's right. When did Uriah get so deep, anyway? I suppose everyone has some kind of belief system, and this is ours. It's how the world makes sense to us. We can still improve it, but within what's already here. We just have to keep the war from getting bad so that they won't release the memory serum virus. And we can always re-evaluate this decision later.

"Okay," I say. "So tomorrow we both choose Dauntless again and… I don't know, I think we should probably try to keep things the same as much as we can, right? One difference can change the entire cause and effect chain. Do that over something dumb and we could end up with hardly any advantage at all."

Uriah nods. "It's going to be hard," he says. "I think especially for you." I know what he means. Tobias won't even know me. I want to hold him, to kiss him, so badly, and I know I'll have to wait weeks. While around him every day. It will be torture.

"Do you really think we could hurt anything if we got together with Four and Marlene… a little sooner…? God, I don't think I can wait that long, can you?!"

"We'll see how things go. Just be careful." Uriah pushes off the bean sculpture he was leaning against, picking up his backpack. "We should get going home I think. But I'll see you tomorrow! We should meet… after lights out? 11:30?"

"By the chasm?" I ask. He nods. "Okay. Tomorrow. See you at the ceremony!" I smile and give him one more quick hug before I jog toward my bus stop.

It is a struggle to act like an Abnegation after spending the past few months as a Dauntless. Even just hearing them say my name, I want to correct them and demand that they call me 'Tris' instead. Still, everything has gone smoothly tonight until we are in the middle of dinner and my mother asks my father about his day.

"Is this about that report Jeanine Matthews released?" my mother says. I stay quiet. I already know what the report was about.

My father sighs. His eyes narrow. "Yes. Those arrogant, self-righteous-" He stops and clears his throat. "Sorry. But she released a report attacking Marcus's character… that Marcus's violence and cruelty toward his son are the reason he chose Dauntless instead of Abnegation."

At the mention of Tobias, my stomach clenches. Tomorrow, I can see him. With that thought, I have butterflies in my stomach.

"That poor man," Mom says. "As if he needs to be reminded of his loss."

"Of his son's betrayal, you mean? I shouldn't be surprised at this point. The Erudite have been attacking us with these reports for months. And this isn't the end. There will be more, I guarantee it."

I couldn't help speaking up last time either, but this time I can't help speaking about something different. I can't stand to let him talk that way about Tobias. "What do you mean about Tobias's betrayal? Aren't we supposed to pick the place we fit? Faction before blood? If this wasn't the life that was right for him, what's wrong with him transferring to the faction where he belongs? It's his life, he's the one that has to live it." I bite my cheek to keep from saying anything about Marcus.

My father looks at me with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open. Even for me- I've always been more outspoken than the typical Abnegation- that little outburst was not normal.

My parents stare at me like they're not sure how to answer. I suppose the reason no one ever transfers out of Abnegation is because we are raised to be selfless, to never just think of ourselves. I sigh. "It just seems to me that Choosing Day is when you should think of yourself. It's when you get to stop trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. There isn't a chance to change it later."

"But it is selfish to choose for yourself rather than others," my father reminds me.

"Isn't it also selfish to expect someone to choose the rest of their life for you instead of for themselves?" I am challenging him far more than I should. However, I suppose when I choose Dauntless tomorrow, this conversation will all make perfect sense.

My father looks how I imagine he would if I had just slapped him in the face: completely stunned. He cocks his head to the side and bites his lip, just like I do when I am thinking. I got that from him. "That is an interesting perspective, Beatrice," he finally says. "If either of you were to transfer I would miss you very much. I hope you don't. I will always love you, though, no matter what your choice is."

I smile. That was what I needed to hear from him. "I will choose the place where I can be the best version of me," I assure him. He smiles at me, but it doesn't reach his eyes. My mother reaches out and strokes my hair softly, a warm, sad smile on her face. She knows I'll leave. I think she has always known.

After dinner, my parents again do the dishes so Caleb and I be alone to think about our choice. I don't really need to think about my choice, but I do need to think about everything that comes after it.

At the top of the stairs, I stop Caleb, instead of him stopping me. I can't look at him without remembering how he betrayed me in Erudite, even if he technically hasn't done that yet. I hardly know who he is anymore. "Caleb, I want you to know that I love you. Choose what is right for you, but once you do… never forget who you were. There is good in bad in every faction, and you can use every virtue for good or for evil. Remember to choose the good." I leave him standing in the hall, closing my bedroom door behind me.

Uriah

I slide in next to Marlene with a plate of lasagna that night in the dining hall. Zeke and Four are sitting across from us. "How'd your test go?" I ask Marlene. We're not really supposed to talk about the tests, but we don't take silly rules that seriously in Dauntless. Besides, this time I got a straight up Dauntless result, so I have nothing to hide. It was different last time, when my result had to be entered manually. I still think it's weird that I have aptitude for Dauntless and Amity. It seems like such a strange combination. I'm not really sure what to think about all the shit the Bureau said about 'genetic damage'. They say all these people sitting around me are 'damaged' but that isn't what I see.

I see Zeke: funny, loyal, brave and kind. Four, who isn't genetically 'healed' after all, apparently, and yet has overcome so much to be one of the best people I could ever know. And Marlene… God, I've missed her. She is sweet, fun, brave, kind, honest, beautiful… perfect.

I was not so impressed with the supposably 'genetically pure' at the Bureau. They were as bad as Jeanine Matthews and Eric. Closed-minded, stuck up and cruel. They didn't seem to even see the residents of Chicago as people. Just like Jeanine Matthews when she did all that testing on Tris because of her divergence.

Marlene shrugs. "It went fine. I think killing that dog might have scarred me for life. But, things went as expected. You all are stuck with me."

"There's no one I'd rather be stuck with," I say with a grin. She looks down at her plate, smiling slightly as she bites her lower lip.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be keeping your results a secret, and keeping to yourselves to 'think about your choice' tonight?" Four asks with an eyebrow raised.

I shrug. "Sure, but there's nothing to think about. My decision is made. And I guess you'll just have to wait and see what that decision is." I doubt Four cares that much where I go, but I can see that Zeke is nervous. "Calm down, Zeke. You know I love it here."

I turn to Marlene. "So. Initiation begins tomorrow and we won't be able to leave the compound alone till it's over. Wanna get out of here for a while, Marlene?" I wiggle my eyebrows at her, and she punches my shoulder, blushing slightly and smiling coyly. "Navy Pier?"

"Sure!" Marlene says as she stuffs the rest of her garlic bread in her mouth and begins to gather up her trash. "Let's go!"

Marlene and I have the boxcar to ourselves on the way to Navy Pier. I watch her hold the handles with both hands and lean her torso out into the wind, her light brown curls billowing behind her. I feel like I just got her back and I don't know for how long, but I desperately want to keep her. Just looking at her hazel eyes stirs up butterflies in my stomach.

Marlene leans back into the boxcar, turning her head toward me with a dazzling smile I'd be content to look at all day. "It's time to jump!" I watch her back up a few steps, then run and leap. I follow her, then jog to catch up, sliding an arm around her shoulders as I do. I know she won't think much of it since I've never been shy about things like this, but it feels so good to be able to touch her and know that she is real, she's really here.

It's a short walk to the old amusement park rides. The old ferris wheel looms in the distance. It will forever remind me of Tris climbing it during the capture the flag. That was when Tris caught my attention. She was so smart and so fearless, not at all like the weak little stiff everyone expected her to be.

I know the ferris wheel still runs, but I wonder if the carousel does too? I grin at Marlene and her eyes go wide as she begins to back away. "What are you planning there, Uriah?"

"What, you don't trust me? I'm hurt," I reply, slowly walking toward her.

She shakes her head and starts to run, but my legs are longer and I am faster. Marlene shrieks when I grab her by the waist and throw her over my shoulder. I run to the carousel, laughing the whole way, with her pounding her fists on my back, screaming at me to put her down.

"As you wish!" We've reached the carousel. I grab her waist again and drop her on one of the chipped, faded wooden horses. This one has a purple saddle and is missing half its tail. "Stay there."

Finding the controls, I move levers and switches. First the music starts to play, then I see the carousel begin to slowly move counter-clockwise and hear Marlene's laugh. I grin as I slowly push back the lever that controls the speed, till it's going kind of fast, but not so fast that I won't be able to jump down and turn it off without injuring myself. I might not normally be worried about that, but the last thing I need is to go into initiation with a broken leg or something.

I jump onto the carousel platform, but it's moving too fast to stick the landing and I topple over, catching myself with my hands around one of the poles that holds the horses up. Making my way to Marlene is easier- I'm used to walking on things in motion after traveling in trains all my life. The footholds on the horse next to Marlene's are broken off, but I don't have much trouble hoisting myself up.

Once I'm up, Marlene just looks at me with a wide grin and giggles. "How did you know this still worked?"

I shrug, then tap my index finger to my head. "Psychic," I whisper as if it were a secret. Though she'll probably think maybe it's true after Tris jumps first tomorrow. That's okay, though. It could work to my advantage later when it comes to keeping her safe during the war.

When we get bored of riding the carousel, I hold out my hand to help Marlene down, grinning at the familiar sparks of electricity I feel when her skin touches mine. The sun is setting now. Marlene sighs. "We should get back. Tomorrow is a big day." I nod and hold out my hand without thinking. Mar gives me a surprised look and her cheeks get a little pinker, but she takes my hand with a small smile as we begin our walk back to the train tracks.