The Learning Curve: Chapter 82
Edward Cullen's Kitchen
"Let's go back upstairs," I said to Edward after we'd finished cleaning up the kitchen.
He smiled. "You sure? We could…watch a movie or something," he offered.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" I asked, confused. I thought he'd be happy to get back to our previous activities.
"Not really," he admitted. "I'm just…"
"Just afraid this is going to be all about sex?" I finished for him, guessing this was where he was going. It made me worry that I'd failed to show him how much he really meant to me.
Edward ran a hand through his hair and gave me a sheepish look from beneath his eyelashes. "A little? I know it's different with you because everything is different with you, but I don't want to lose any part of what we have."
"We won't," I promise, stepping into him and hugging him tightly.
His cheek pressed against my hair. "I always feel so backwards with you. I'm supposed to be the one wanting sex and you're supposed to be the one needed reassurance. Isn't that how it works in romantic comedies?"
I laughed. "I wouldn't know. I don't watch many."
We did go upstairs, and we did get undressed and climb back into bed, but there was no urgency. We touched and talked and laughed, and yes, had sex, but it was very much a relaxed morning in bed.
In the afternoon, I called Charlie to tell him I'd be staying another night with "Alice." He accepted it without argument, and I texted Alice to ask her to keep covering for me. I knew I was pushing my luck, but Edward's parents wouldn't be home until late Sunday evening, and I wanted all the time I could have.
Edward left me temporarily, actually putting clothes on so that he could go out and check the mail. I knew he was looking for more college answers, and as much as I was dreading the final outcome, I did wish all the responses would come simply so that I could stop living in an awful limbo between dread and hope. I wanted to know my fate so I could brace myself for it. Because even though Edward said he would go where I went, and even though he swore he wouldn't regret it, I simply couldn't believe that the way he felt now could possibly be permanent. I'd seen what happened to couples like my parents that committed right out of high school – it didn't last. People changed too much in those first few years of real, adult life.
I'd never considered myself a pessimist, but I didn't shy away from reality, either, and the reality was that when Edward and I changed, we probably wouldn't change together.
"Nothing today," Edward sighed, breaking me out of my thoughts. "I hate waiting. I want to start making solid plans."
"We have plenty of time to make plans," I said, drawing him back to me on the bed. "Let's enjoy this weekend right now."
A/N: I'm a firm believer in letting the story do the telling and letting readers come to their own conclusions, but I do want to say that I don't think Bella's problem is a lack of self-confidence...I think it's more a lack of trust in long-term relationships, especially ones that start in high school.
And lol, maybe I should be a sex-ed teacher. I learned plenty in school, but I think I was in one of those lucky periods of time when Kansas wasn't totally backwards about sex and science. I hope all those kids with abstinence-only education do find their way to dirty fanfic - maybe it'll satisfy some of that teenage curiosity. :/