The Learning Curve: Chapter 83
Edward Cullen's Bed
"Please...please..." I wasn't sure what I was begging for, exactly, but Edward's head had been between my legs for the past five minutes or more, and I was pretty sure he was going to kill me.
His hands stroked my thighs as he lifted his head. "Tell me what you want, Bella," he whispered so earnestly that I knew he wasn't playing with me. He simply wanted to know.
"I want you inside me again," I admitted. With each time we had sex, it became a little bit easier to talk this way. The combination of my body and his was becoming comfortable territory.
He lifted his body over mine and wordlessly gave me what I'd asked. Skin on skin with him, it didn't take long for me to fall over the edge he'd been pushing me toward.
Afterward I lay wrapped snugly in his arms. It was dark, just after midnight. Soon we would go to sleep, and then it would really be Sunday, and I would have to go home. I would have to go back to sleeping alone, sneaking around to be with Edward, missing him... Edward's insistence on our living together made more sense by the minute.
"Bella? What's wrong?" he asked. I didn't know how he could tell I was sad – he couldn't see my face and I wasn't crying. Maybe he could just feel it in my body.
"Would you know what I mean if I said I miss you already?" I asked. It was easier to say in the dark.
"Yeah," Edward sighed. "I feel it too."
"Do you really think we could manage to live together in college? It seems so impossible. I don't know how we could possibly pay the rent ourselves. I wouldn't be able to contribute much of anything. But I really want to have this all the time."
"Bella, of course we can manage it. I'm not saying it will be easy, but I'll do whatever it takes. I'll get a job, or take out student loans, or even beg my parents for rent money. I don't care as long as I get to be with you."
I still felt uneasy. "Will you resent me if I can't contribute much?"
I felt Edward chuckle. "Contribute? Bella, you're the only one between the two of us that can cook. You're essential to this whole operation."
"I'm serious, Edward," I insisted. "I don't have a college fund. I might have to work and take out student loans just to pay my tuition. What if I can't even help buy groceries?"
"I don't care. I really don't. If I could, I'd pay your whole tuition so you could just focus on school and enjoy the experience. I want everything for you."
My throat felt tight. "I want the same for you. It doesn't seem fair for you to carry all the burden."
"I know you'd do the same for me. Look, it's just money. If you promise not to keep score, I promise I won't either."
When he put it that way, I couldn't argue. "Okay, I promise."
For the first time, I let myself really begin to imagine it. Breakfast together at a little kitchen table. Holding hands walking to class. Trying to study while Edward vacuumed. Trying to teach Edward to cook. Crawling into bed with him after a long day.
I couldn't imagine growing tired of that.
A/N: I've been asked how old I was when I started reading dirty fanfic. Honestly, I think I was thirteen. Fourteen at the latest. But before you moms out there react with horror, it turned out pretty well - only my imagination got corrupted. Ten years later and I'm still for all intents and purposes a virgin. *grumble* All this knowledge and no one to use it on.
I've also been asked how long this story might be. I have no idea. I think we're probably about 3/4 of the way there, maybe more. I'm still working out the details.