CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Tobias

I have never enjoyed watching fear simulations, but they usually don't really get to me too badly. Uriah's first sim, however, leaves me with a sense of dread. He comes out of the simulation, panting and crying. I know this isn't just a symbolic fear. This is something that really happened… and will happen again, if we don't change the events that will lead up to it.

I just watched Marlene's death.

I am a little confused about what exactly happened, but I know that it's probably an actual memory, at least mostly. Three young Dauntless- Marlene, Shauna's little brother Hector, and a young girl with green hair- stood on the roof. Their faces were blank, and their eyes looked dead. Marlene was the one who spoke. "I have a message for the Divergent." Her voice was monotone, nothing like the Marlene I have known for the past two years. Nothing like the Marlene that Uriah is in love with, the Marlene who is so perky and flirty I can barely tolerate her. "This is not a negotiation. It is a warning. Every two days until one of you delivers yourself to Erudite headquarters… this will happen again."

Uriah was desperately trying to reach her, but an invisible wall stopped him. I felt helpless watching as he kicked and pounded his fists on the glass. The words Marlene so emotionlessly just spoke echoed in my mind, along with Uriah's mention the other day about how upset I apparently was when Tris went to Erudite. This is why. She turned herself in, didn't she?

In unison, the three dead-eyed young Dauntless stepped off the roof. Uriah screamed out as Marlene fell to her death. But only Marlene. Tris was there holding Hector in place, as Christina was nearby holding onto the little green-haired girl.

I can't shake the sick feeling in my stomach as I sit stunned, unable to speak or move to offer Uriah any sort of comfort. I hear my own voice after a moment, but I don't even feel like it came from my mouth, or that the words were formed by my own mind. "It was just a simulation. It wasn't real."

Uriah looks at me, his eyes turning from heartbroken to angry. "But it is real. It was real," he whispers.

I grab hold of his arm and pull him out the back door. I can't think straight, but somewhere it is registering that this is what Uriah and Tris actually went through… and I know there had to be so much more than just this. Uriah has every reason to truly fear all of it happening again. "Were you there when it happened?" I ask.

"No," he sniffles, "but I saw the security footage afterward. Tris and Christina were there. Just like what you saw."

I know the answer, but I ask anyway. My voice shakes. "Is this why Tris turned herself over to Erudite?"

Uriah nods. "She's too damn selfless. She promised you she wouldn't, then she went anyway. She barely made it out alive."

The scene plays over and over in my mind. It finally hits me. "Were they in a simulation?" Uriah only nods, tears still streaming down his face. "Go back to the dorm," I order him. "I'll call Tris next, and when she's through I'll send her to find you, okay?" He nods and mumbles a thank you before turning and shuffling away, then pauses and turns back to me.

"I know you have to delete that. With… what Marlene said in it." Shit, he's right. I am not sure whether Uriah is divergent, but he certainly doesn't need the attention on him either way. "Can you save it? On a flash drive or something, before you delete it? I might need to show it to Marlene. I'll need to tell her eventually."

I nod. "Yeah, of course, Uriah." I know first hand just how crazy the whole story sounds and just how hard it might be for Marlene to believe it.

When I return to the simulation room, I dig my keys out of my pocket; I have a flash drive right there on my keychain. I work quickly, finding the recording of Uriah's fear simulation and as soon as it has finished transferring, I pull out the flash drive and shove my keys back in my pocket before deleting the recording, then double checking to be sure it's completely removed from our faction's network before moving on to the next initiate.

"Tris," I call out the door to the room, praying that her sim isn't anything like what I just had to watch.

She smiles at me before sitting in the chair without hesitation. When she sees my face, her forehead wrinkles with concern. "Was it bad?" she asks. "His sim?"

I just look at her until I finally say, "you need to go find him in the dorms after this. He needs you." She nods, looking more nervous than before, probably realizing that in a moment, she may experience a fear she has never before faced in a simulation.

I'm relieved to find that it doesn't appear that this sim is related in any way to whatever horrifying things she experienced in the war. In this sim, Tris is attacked by a murder of crows. Her hands pat the ground until she stands now holding a gun, and she probably just manipulated the sim, but I can't be positive. Soon she has shot enough of the crows that the rest have flown away.

Her eyes open and I stare at her, then the timer on my screen, then back to her, stunned.

"What was my time?" she asks, looking tough as nails, totally unfazed. I'm guessing she has been through this sim before.

Bewildered, I answer, "Two minutes ten seconds." Tris simply nods. She said she was good at sims, but this is unparalleled. "What was your average before?" I whisper.

"Two forty-five." She says it like it's totally normal. Like her average isn't three minutes faster than the best initiates from either of the past two initiate classes. I gape at her. She's absolutely incredible. Unfortunately, being that fast, it will draw attention to her. She needs to be very careful, and I know she knows that, but I'll have to reiterate that to her anyway next time I see her away from the cameras.

"Well done," I tell her before sending her on to help Uriah through the emotions left behind by his simulation. "I'll save Marlene and Lynn for near the end," I assure her before she walks out the door.

Tris

When Marlene was forced by that simulation to step off the roof and fall to her death, I had to make a split second decision: I could save Marlene, or I could save Hector. Obviously, I chose the latter; Shauna had just been shot, barely survived, and ended up paralyzed. In that moment I just could not bear to let Lynn's little brother die when she was already going through so much with her sister. I've never really gotten over the guilt of letting Marlene die, even though I know I wouldn't have felt any better had it been Hector. In a situation like that, you can't win.

Sitting with Uriah as he cries into my shoulder, that guilt is back full force. Seeing how this affects Uriah still, even now that we have come back and he has another chance (even if it isn't going so well, so far), even knowing that in a while, Marlene will walk through that door completely unscathed… my heart hurts for him. She was my friend, too, and I hope every day that we will be again, but he loves her so much.

"I'm so sorry, Uri," I whisper, tears running down my own face.

He pulls back from me, shaking his head. "I understand the choice you made, Tris. It was hard at first… but I understand. It wasn't like you got to spend days weighing your options. You could only save one of them. There wasn't a right choice. The one you made just happened to be one that really hurt for me."

We are silent for a long time. "Do you think we'll ever get over the things we had to do?" I ask. He just shrugs.

Initiates begin to filter in as we sit there silently. I'm trying to decide what to say to him about Marlene, about helping him figure out how to get things back how they should be, but I am interrupted by Eric standing in the doorway, his eyes narrowed at me sitting shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip with Uriah. "Stiff," he orders, "come with me."

I stare blankly across the desk at Eric. I have just finished recounting everything I remember about the 'incident' two nights ago that resulted in ten stitches in Edward's arm. This is Dauntless, of course, so ten stitches is not a big deal, but the fact that the intention of whoever stabbed Edward (since we're apparently pretending not to know who did it) was to at least partially blind him, possibly kill him, and for sure to move up in the rankings in the most cowardly way possible, means that there is an investigation.

I don't recall any such investigation last time, when there was actually permanent damage, so my intuition tells me that this is just an excuse on Eric's part to get me into his office. I can only hope that the resulting investigation is real.

"Did you need anything else?" I ask after a long, uncomfortable silence.

Eric stands, so I do too. As he walks around the desk toward me, I back slowly toward the door, trying not to be too obvious about how repulsed I am by him. Either I am successful in hiding it, or he doesn't care; Eric, as usual, guides me with his hand low on my back, almost on my butt. Near the door, he stops before opening it, wrapping his arm around me. I manage not to shudder at being so close to him.

"It's a fair assumption," he says, "that Edward was targeted because of his rank." Figured that all out on your own, did you, Nose? I think sarcastically as I nod. "I don't believe that you could have been the culprit- not because you're incapable, but because you aren't a coward." This really is an alternate universe- Eric is complimenting me.

Eric pulls me closer to him and bile rises in my throat. "You are probably not safe in the dormitory," he continues, "so I wanted to offer, if you wish, you are welcome to stay with me. I only have one bedroom, though." He smirks as he lets go of me and backs away.

"You're dismissed." His voice is gruff and his words clipped, but he winks at me as I glance back at him on my way out the door. I suddenly feel an intense need to take a shower.

Uriah

After that extremely horrific, utterly traumatic fear simulation, all I can think about is Marlene. We have always been such good friends. I hate the way that we've been so distant lately. I don't think I can bring up Tris or Edward with her- I'm not strong enough for that today. But I at least want to get some of our old friendship back.

She must be one of the last fear sims of the day. Four probably did that on purpose to give Tris time to calm me down, and I certainly appreciate that. I needed someone to just be with me and understand, and there could be no one better than Tris for that. I just wish it hadn't brought back so much guilt for her. I know she did her best, over and over, throughout the whole war. I also know that I have never met anyone in my life that holds onto guilt like Tris does.

Finally, after hours of laying on my bed waiting, Marlene comes back to the dormitory, her eyes red, and climbs onto her bunk, which is right next to mine.

"Hey," I say softly. I know how these fear sims are, especially the first one. They don't stay contained in that room. You carry the fear with you everywhere. A week from now the entire group of initiates will have nails bitten down to the point of bleeding and dark circles under their eyes from the nightmares. "I thought maybe we could go do something fun, just you and me. Get our minds off what a sadist Four must be to put us through that." I'm not serious in calling him a sadist, of course. I could see how shaken he was by my sim. "After you have a little while to calm down, of course," I add.

Marlene doesn't really smile, but she nods, and I lay back to give her some time to collect herself.

An hour and a half later, Marlene and are hopping off the train in Amity. As we approach the gate I mentally fist pump when someone I know is there operating it. "Mia!" I call out.

Mia grins as we approach. I met Mia through Zeke and Four, and she's always up for a good prank. "If it isn't Zeke Jr. What brings you out here?"

I fist bump Mia as we meet. "Mar and I had an idea for a prank, but we need to sneak into the chicken coop." I hold my hands up, palms facing out, as I add, "no chickens will be harmed, I promise, and I'm sure that someone will return them." I give her a lopsided grin, Marlene giggles, and Mia turns to the keypad and punches in a code as she glances back at me with a mischievous smirk.

"If you get caught and I get brought into it, you'll be sorry, Pedrad," she warns, but her grin only widens. I wave with one hand as we jog through the open gate, pausing as Mia calls out to tell me where the coops are.

Security in Amity is virtually non-existent, and we aren't noticed, let alone stopped, by a single person as we enter the coup. "Okay, we need four chickens," I tell Marlene, holding out a duffel bag. We each unceremoniously stuff in two chickens, leaving behind a blizzard of white feathers as we hurry back out the door.

Mia lets us back in, and we are back to the tracks only an hour after jumping off.

"Where to now, cap'n?" Marlene asks with a salute. I haven't told her my whole plan yet, and I won't until we're on the train. Really, I'm just enjoying the time with her. Neither of us have mentioned Tris or Edward, or any of the stresses of initiation; we're just having fun together, like old times.

"You'll see," I grin at her. I'm not sure how long it will be until the next train arrives, but I don't hear it coming yet, so I glance around searching my mind for something to do. I want to keep this lighthearted tone to my time with Mar. I want her to remember how much fun we always have together, to miss the time she hasn't been spending with me, the way I miss the time I used to spend with her.

I grin as I point to a fence guard a few dozen yards away from us. "Look at him there, Mar," I say. The man has dark hair cut short, no piercings, and he's pretty scrawny looking for a Dauntless, but he has a spider tattoo on his face. He stands sort of slouched, with his lower lip jutted out. "Hmmm I say his name is… Lyle," I begin. "He has sixteen fears. Help me come up with them."

"Okay," Marlene laughs, "um… especially bright sunsets."

I smile at her. "Llamas."

"Little girls from Amity."

"Butterflies. And obviously spiders," I say gesturing in his general direction, but meaning the tattoo across his cheek.

We go back and forth coming up with ridiculously stupid fears and move on to making up a backstory for him, deciding that he was a transfer from Erudite, tying it in with the fear we assigned him relating to test anxiety, who had never had a girlfriend and lived alone with seven cats. We did throw him a bone, though, by deciding that he is the faction's best tightrope walker.

By the time we tire of imagining obscure personality traits and life events for the skinny, slouchy stranger at the fence, the train is in view. We run so we can match its speed when it arrives, and I throw myself in first, Marlene a moment behind me, landing sprawled on top of me. We both burst into one of those fits of laughter that just keeps going and going until your abs scream in pain and you can't even remember why you're laughing.

"Okay," Marlene says between gasps, hiccups and aftershocks of further laughter, "tell me the plan now, will you?"

I grin. "Okay, you got that paint?" She reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small bottle of red paint and two brushes. "Perfect."

I quickly explain the prank I want to pull before we get our 'props' ready and put everything away again. By the time we're done I can see that we're only a few minutes from our jump in Erudite. We both put on our sunglasses and pull up our black hoods; we're pretty sure we can outrun anyone in this lame faction of nerds, but we don't need to be recognized. We're really not supposed to even be leaving the compound without a member, during initiation.

It is dusk, so we sneak from shadow to shadow, through alleyways full of debris and broken glass, evidence of the destruction brought on by a war long past, and dodging huge cracks in the asphalt. Soon the Erudite headquarters comes into view.

I've been here a few times before, always for some sort of prank. Noses are fun to pull pranks on because they are so uptight and logical. The building is huge and the whole front of it is made of clear glass. Inside, the lobby is quite large, and basically, it, along with the first few floors of the whole building, are a big library. Typical, right?

It's harder to sneak as we get closer- there are more people around and good places to hide are further and further apart. We slowly circle around to the back of the building and try doors looking for any that might be unlocked. After a while, Marlene calls out- "Uri! Right here!"

I follow Marlene in through the side door she found not fully latched. Quietly, and hoping the chickens won't squawk too loudly and attract attention, we sneak toward the front of the building. I hear voices- voices that are familiar- and quickly pull Mar into a bathroom, stashing the duffels of chickens in a stall. I open the door just a crack and listen as the pair walks past, holding my finger to my lips to make sure Marlene knows to stay silent.

"The attack will take place early the morning after initiation." Jeanine. "What I need you to do, Caleb, is to return to Abnegation and make your family and former neighbors believe that you are on their side. You will be my ears on the inside. I will be implanting a tracking device in your upper arm. Any refugees, you will stay with them, saving me the trouble of searching for them."

"I take faction before blood very seriously, Jeanine. Thank you so much for this opportunity," Caleb says, sounding like the worst suck-up I've ever heard, even after ten years of rolling my eyes at the Erudites in my classes. "If my former faction is harboring as many divergents as you say, genocide is the only option we have."

I look at Marlene. Her eyes widen, and I can see all the questions in them. The voices fade and I let out the breath I had been holding just about the whole time I've been in here as I let the door fully shut.

"Who was that?!" Marlene whispers anxiously.

I swallow hard, looking in her eyes, then away for a moment, and then right back into them. "That was Jeanine Matthews," I say, "and Caleb Prior. Tris's brother. I recognized his voice, that's why I pulled us in here."

Marlene shakes her head. "How would you know her brother, Uriah? Well enough to recognize his voice?" Her voice breaks, she seems so confused and almost betrayed, and I don't blame her.

I run my hand through my hair. "Mar, I really want to answer you. I want to tell you everything I know. But here, now- this isn't the place, or the time. I promise I will soon. I promise."

Marlene looks slightly hurt, but that gives way to a look of resignation and understanding and, I think, trust. She takes a breath and gives me that flirty Marlene smile I love so much. "Well, should we prank a bunch of Noses now?" I grin and nod, then we grab the bags, which are actually kind of hard to carry with the chickens moving around so much, and slowly and carefully exit the bathroom, resuming our journey to the Great Library.

As we get close, I open the bag and let out the chicken with the number '5' painted on it. Just before entering the great library, Marlene lets out the chicken numbered '2'.

We look at each other and in unison, as only people who have been friends as long as we have can really do, as if we can communicate telepathically, we both grab the last chickens- hers numbered '1' and mine numbered '3'- out of the duffel bags, throwing the handles over our shoulders, and dart through the main hall, releasing the chickens into the middle of the room. They flutter their wings, sending white feathers into the air, and cluck and squawk in fear at the startled gasps and yells of the people inside the library. Everyone is so startled that they don't even try to chase us as we bolt through the front doors and don't stop until we are well concealed among the abandoned buildings.

Even with the disappointment of knowing that Caleb will still betray his family, and even with that horrible fear simulation I endured this morning, this has been the best day I have had in awhile, thanks to Marlene. Just by existing, she makes my world brighter, and I will go into tomorrow and the days after with a renewed hope and determination to keep her.

When we arrive back to Dauntless, I haven't even glanced at the Pire yet when Marlene is preparing to jump and mutters, "oh, shit!" We have to jump now, so I'm out of the train before I see what she was reacting to.

I barely have a chance to see Eric before I hear him. "What the hell did you two think you were doing?" he growls. "I got a phone call that two young Dauntless- and I can't say I'm surprised to see that one of them was you, Pedrad- caused the biggest stir Erudite headquarters has seen in years." At first, I'll admit it- I'm scared. Because honestly, Eric is someone to fear. But then I see the corner of his mouth twitch upward and realize how hard he is trying not to show his amusement.

I cock a grin. "You're just jealous that you didn't think of it, Eric," I say cockily.

His facade breaks and we're treated to a very rare sight: Eric is laughing. "Fine, fine, you're right. Just tell me where you let chicken number four go so I can tell Jeanine, because the whole faction is on a crazy chicken-hunt right now."

"Oh, come on, Eric," Marlene says, and her smile is flawlessly flirty. I mean, Mar is the queen of flirty smiles but this is the best one I've ever seen. "You were Erudite. You can figure out the punchline to this prank."

Eric stares at her blankly for about five seconds, and swear I can see the gears turning in his mind. You can take the man out of Erudite, but you can't take the Erudite out of the man. Finally he starts shaking in laughter and I know he's figured it out: there is no chicken number four. The whole point of the prank was to make them search for a chicken that never existed. "Are you sure you two don't belong in Erudite? Because you certainly outsmarted Jeanine." He continues to roar in laughter and simply gestures us inside. He's laughing too hard to catch his breath and get the words out. Marlene and I grin at each other and run for it before he can change his mind.

I can't remember the last time I was this happy.

Tobias

It's nine o'clock when I enter the control room. I love being here at night: there are only two other people monitoring the security footage, so it's quiet and relatively private. Zeke isn't here and no one else bothers to try making conversation with me, so I am able to use a computer without any interruption from my coworkers.

I log in using the fake account name I set up months ago in preparation what I am about to do. The mirroring program I installed on my end takes a moment to pop up after I open it, but it's just like being on his personal computer once I'm in. Max labels his folders with numbers so this is like a needle in a haystack- there's no way to guess what will be in any of the files. I work in a logical fashion, starting with the lowest numbers and working my way up in order. Most of the time it's nothing interesting or worth looking at any further, but finally, I find what I had been dreading.

In the folder numbered 157 is where I find it. There are lists of supplies… enough weapons to arm the whole faction, and an equal numbers of syringes- far more than we would ever need for initiation. There are large quantities of something called Serum D2. I will have to ask Tris if she knows what that is; we haven't yet spoken in any detail about this war. Other files include thinly veiled commands, and maps. It's hard at first to figure out what the map is of, but comparing the letters and numbers on the grid to those on a city map, I quickly find exactly what I was expecting: they are maps of Abnegation.

I already knew I believed Tris, but here is my proof. All she has to do is explain how it will happen and if that explains this serum- and I have no doubt it will- there can be no denying it. Everything Tris and Uriah have said will happen is about to become a reality, unless we stop it.