CHAPTER NINETEEN

Tobias

I really wanted to see Tris again tonight, but she's off with her friends. I decided that I should take her cue and remember that I have friends, too.

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is the mighty Four standing at my doorstep for the first time in over a week?" Zeke says with a grin when he answers the door. "You brought beer! You know the way to my heart, don't ya?" I laugh and nod as I brush past him on my way to the fridge.

Zeke catches the beer I toss to him and I take out one for myself before putting the rest in the fridge. I sprawl out on the couch, sighing as I relax my head back on the top of the cushions, and Zeke sits at the other end, leaning forward with his forearms resting on his knees. "Where you been lately, man?" he asks. "Just holed up in your apartment?"

"Something like that," I answer.

"I'll never understand you and all that time you spend alone," Zeke grumbles, and I snort, but not for the reason he thinks.

My head turns at Shauna's voice as she comes out of the bedroom. I didn't know she was here. "So, Jason asked about Tris," she singsongs, stopping when she sees me on the couch. "Oh, hi Four! I didn't know you were here." I nod and hold up one hand in a lazy wave to greet her as I take a swig of beer. "More beer in the fridge?"

"Yep," Zeke says. "Four is now forgiven for his recent antisocial behavior." Shauna laughs as she crosses to the kitchen.

My mind is still on what Shauna was saying before she saw me sitting here. "So you're still trying to set Tris up with that guy? Why?!" I cringe at my tone and Zeke raises his eyebrows.

"I think the bigger question is… why do you care?" I just scowl at him. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you have a little crush." Oh, it's more than a little crush.

I glare at my beer bottle for a moment before finishing it off in a few gulps and standing up. "I need another beer if this is how you're going to be."

I had hoped that by the time I got back with my fresh beer- and another for Zeke- that he would have dropped it, but luck is not on my side today. "Seriously, man, since when do you care who your initiates- or any girl, really- date?" He smirks. "You do have a crush, don't you?!"

Shauna sits hip to hip with Zeke and he rests his arm across her shoulders. "Four likes someone?! Who! Tell me!" She's so excited that she is actually bouncing up and down.

"Admit it, Four! Tell her. Tell her about the cute little thing that has finally caught your attention." Zeke's eyes glint with amusement and that damn smirk is still plastered across his face.

I groan and run both hands over my face. They're never going to let this go. I know it. I may as well give in. Tris had suggested I tell them, anyway, and she's right, they are trustworthy. Besides, maybe they'll stop trying to set her up on dates with other guys.

"Fine," I sigh. Shauna squeals and claps her hands together, and Zeke grins. "I admit it. I like her." Shauna is about to explode with curiosity. I look right at her when I say… "Tris."

Shauna's jaw drops and she gasps. "Tris?! The little Stiff? The one who likes Uriah?!"

"Yes, but she doesn't like Uriah," I smirk "They really are just friends." Shauna eyes me suspiciously, but I'm not giving anything else away until she comes out and asks. It's too much fun, dragging this out like I am. I stare back and raise an eyebrow, daring her to come out with it.

Zeke laughs. "I think Four has more to tell us. So, pray tell, Almighty Four, how are you so sure about that?"

"Well," I say, "at least she had better not have feelings for Uriah, considering she's already my girlfriend." At that, Shauna actually claps her hand over her mouth, and I can't hold myself back from laughing any more.

"Shut up!" Shauna practically screams, hitting my arm. "You finally got yourself a girlfriend?! I thought this day would never come. Oh my God! But what about Marlene?! She still thinks Uriah is in love with Tris! We have to do something about this!"

"Slow down, babe," Zeke chuckles. "You're not going to run out the door and find Mar right now. I'm sure Four doesn't want anyone else knowing about this rather inappropriate relationship, anyway." Damn right I don't. Not while I'm her instructor.

I clearly need to give Shauna a little more information before she does something that gets me in trouble. "Shauna, you don't need to worry about that. Marlene knows about me and Tris, and she knows Uriah is in love with her. Just let them sort themselves out."

Well, that didn't go over as well as I expected. Now they both look hurt. "You told Marlene of all people but not us?!" Shauna exclaims, at the same time as Zeke bursts out with, "how do you know this about my brother and I don't?!"

I can't tell them about… everything. Uriah and Tris would kill me if I did that without their permission, and it is unlikely that Zeke and Shauna would believe me anyway. I don't even know how I have managed to believe it. "I'm their instructor. I run all their fear sims, and you know I care about Uriah, too, Zeke. I talk to them more than you think. I won't share their business any further than what I have already said. I let Uriah tell Marlene about Tris and me to help him out, and Uriah knows about us because he and Tris are really good friends. Actually, I'm pretty sure he is the only one she talks to about us." I take a few more sips of beer waiting for them to say something, but apparently they are speechless.

"So… are you two just going to sit there and stare at me all night, or what? Because if so, I'll just take my beer and go home."

My friends finally snap out of it. "We're happy for you, man," Zeke says, smiling and shaking his head. "Let us know if you need any help sneaking around with her." We both laugh, and finally the couple moves on to other topics.

Uriah

I like to lay in the net- the one I jumped into on Choosing Day- when I want to be alone and think. Today, I am laying here thinking about Marlene. Two days have passed since I told her everything. Everything. All the things I was so afraid to tell her, but I finally took a leap of faith and trusted her with all of it. I trusted her to understand. Marlene has been my best friend pretty much forever, and when I told her the biggest, deepest, scariest secrets I have ever had, she just walked out the door.

She hasn't spoken to me since. Not a single word.

My sleep has been restless and unsatisfying. It's catching up to me, but I don't have a clue what to do about it. Last night that first fear simulation- the one I showed her the other day, the one where I watch the girl I love step off a ledge and fall to her death- haunted my dreams. The night before, all I dreamed of was that amazing kiss we shared in the simulation room, but then she didn't talk to me the next day like I had hoped she would, and the memory of that kiss only made it all more painful. Tris invited me to get tattoos with Christina, Will and her tonight, but I passed. I just wanted to be alone tonight.

I'm considering going to the infirmary for sleeping pills- though I'm a little afraid to, because what if they just trap me in the nightmares I had last night and instead I just can't wake up?- when I see something above me. My eyes widen and I scramble to the edge of the net as if my life depends on it when I realize that someone just jumped and mere seconds from now, will land right where I have been laying.

I can't get out fast enough, but I am at least at the edge when the body hits the net. My fingers tighten on the rope as the jumper bounces a few times, narrowly keeping myself out of her way. When her body settles in the net, she sighs, and right as she looks at me and gasps, I finally see that it was none other than the person who I was laying here moping about: Marlene.

For the first time in over forty-eight hours, she speaks to me. "Oh my God, Uri, I didn't know you were down here! Are you okay?! I could have hurt you!"

"You could have," I chuckle, "but you didn't." I sit up and scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. "Uh… so… I guess I'll just go, then."

I start to climb out of the net, but Marlene's hand grips my wrist. I close my eyes as my skin prickles with goosebumps at her touch and my whole body feels like I am going to melt, like I could just turn into liquid and drip right through this net. "Don't go," Marlene whispers, and I open my eyes and look at her.

Marlene's curly hair is windswept and wild. Her lips are a little chapped, as if she has been chewing on them too much, and her eyes are round as saucers with a hint of fear in them. And she is still beautiful. Still perfect.

I nod and let myself settle back into the net; she lays next to me, and the only thing I can focus on is how our bodies touch, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. We don't speak, but it doesn't feel like the silence that has tormented me for the past two days. This silence is comfortable… peaceful. Still, I have missed her voice, and it feels so good to hear it again that I close my eyes when she finally speaks.

"Thank you for giving me some time to think about everything you said, Uriah. I'm ready to talk now, and I-" she takes a deep breath. "I believe you."

I squeeze my eyes shut to keep in the happy, relieved tears that want to escape, and my lips turn up in a smile. I sigh as she scoots closer to me and rests her head on my shoulder. I sit up slightly to pull my arm out from under us and wrap it around her back and waist, pulling her back down to me before I kiss her forehead, which she responds to with a contented little humming noise.

"What changed your mind?" I ask.

"I talked to Four. Asked him how he knew for sure. But… but I always knew, deep down, that you would never make something like that up, and that you wouldn't tell me if you weren't positive that it was true." She takes a really deep breath and holds it for a second. "And because I love you, too. I always have, really." Her voice drops to a whisper now. "You're it for me, Uri."

Then her lips are on mine and her body rolls on top of me. This kiss is full of passion, full of love, it's like we are pouring in everything we have been holding back for I don't even know how long. A long, long time, that's all I know. Guys will always warn you about ending up in the 'friend zone' and yeah, that transition from friends to lovers is a little tricky and awkward- this is my second time through it (both with the same person, weird as that is), so I would know.

But the other thing I know is that there is nothing more amazing than falling in love with your best friend. It's like starting on the fiftieth date. We already know each other inside and out, we already know how to fight and come back to each other, and we already know with absolute certainty that we love each other in a way that consumes us completely.

"I've missed you so much," I mumble against her lips as we very briefly come up for air, then quickly fit my lips back against hers and she kisses back immediately. Our tongues explore each others mouths, and I roll us so I hover over her, my hands gripping the ropes of the net as her hands slide down my back, resting on my ass. Soon our hands are everywhere, though over our clothes, and we whisper I love yous to one another sporadically.

Marlene doesn't stop me when I slide my hand under her shirt. Our kisses have become desperate. My hand has just touched the wire on her bra when a thought stops me dead in my tracks, and I pull away and sit up.

"Uri?" Marlene says breathlessly. "What's the matter?"

I glare down at my bitten-down fingernails. "What about Edward?" I spit out bitterly. "I mean, I am in love with you, Marlene, and I'm just… absolutely desperate for you… but I won't be that guy. The one who sneaks around with someone else's girlfriend."

Marlene's hand softly rests on my shoulder and I tense at her touch. What was I thinking? What was she thinking? I never thought Marlene was the type of girl who would cheat!

"Uriah, look at me."

Reluctantly, I do. Her expression is so soft, and a little guilty, but also slightly… amused? Seriously? This is funny to her? I have to force myself not to get out of this net and walk away right now.

Marlene sighs. "Please don't be angry with me, Uri. I meant to tell you the other day, but I just… never did, with all the news you shared with me. Edward and I are only friends. That's all we have ever been."

My eyebrows knit together in confusion. I realize that it looked to her like Tris and I were together so maybe I shouldn't be judging, but she and Edward have been so in-your-face about it all. I never saw them kiss, but they are always whispering to each other, his arm is always wrapped around her like a couple, just… everything. I've even seen them holding hands. "I don't understand," I finally say.

"I thought you were with Tris and I was jealous," she admits. "Edward and I… we kissed once. Just once. It just kind of… happened. And I'm glad it did." She just spent the last like half hour making out with me, telling me loves me, and she is glad they kissed?! I'm sure that the hurt is plain on my face as she rushes to elaborate. "We kissed and it was like kissing my cousin or something. There is absolutely nothing there. For either of us. Honestly… and I feel guilty about it, but also not because it worked... " She chuckles as I try to push down anger. "It was all an act. He was helping me make you jealous."

I stare at her. "For real?" She nods. I loved her and wanted her and knew it that whole time. It was her not trusting Tris and me that caused all this. She didn't need to do that. It did give me the kick in the pants I needed, though, and it seems like he is a good friend to her. I am glad that she had that, if any of this was even half as painful for her as it was for me. "I'm a little upset, but I'll get over it, then. I've been apart from you for way too long to waste another day being mad when we really just wanted the same thing. And now we finally have it."

And before she can respond, my lips crash to hers again.