A/N: This is one of those chapters that has an M-rated version, so again, you can find that through my page. :) Be warned, the T-rated version here does have implied sexual situations, so consider yourself warned!

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Tris

It's late when we get back to Dauntless- just after midnight. I know I have training tomorrow, but it's just practicing in one of Lauren's fear simulations, and I'm too wired to go to sleep. My mind buzzes as I go over and over our plans in my head.

In the end, we decided that our best bet was to allow the simulation to start, with Tobias and me staying back at Dauntless, hiding out, until the trains leave. Then we will need to sneak up to the control room- without getting ourselves killed, hopefully- and shut down the simulation. Uriah will go along to Abnegation to organize the loyal Dauntless as quickly as possible and hopefully arrest the traitors, with Jeanine, Max and Eric being the obvious priorities.

My parents are to steal and hide the file someplace very safe, so that neither can Marcus relase it, nor will Jeanine be able to find it, and tomorrow my father will do everything he can to convince the council to cancel the release of the file and hope that if he is successful, Jeanine will back off.

As for Evelyn… we aren't entirely sure what to do about her. All we know is that we will begin by sending Tobias to talk to her, to see if he can make her see reason.

If at all possible, we will avoid going to the Bureau. We don't believe that we have said anything that will catch anyone's attention within earshot of cameras- we've tried to be pretty careful of that. However, if everything falls apart the way it did last time, we will have no choice. My mother offered to contact him, to appeal to his humanity, but I know it will do no good. To David and the others at the Bureau, the majority of Chicago- the 'genetically damaged'- aren't people. We are just some twisted, misguided science experiment and to admit that this was all for nothing would be to question his entire life's work. David is far too prideful for that.

After shifting uncomfortably around my lumpy dormitory cot for a few minutes, I give up and slip on my sneakers. I need to relieve some tension, and I know just where to go to do that.

The training room is dark and empty. I flip on the lights and pull some tape out of the cupboard, quickly wrapping my hands before crossing to the punching bags. As I punch and kick, over and over, tension slowly melts away. Fatigue is beginning to set in, but my mind isn't quite calm yet. I keep going until a voice sends a shiver up my spine and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

"You're not supposed to be in here, Stiff. It's past curfew."

I have barely seen Eric since stage one ended, and each time since that day that he hung Christina over the Chasm, his eyes have followed me with this creepy sort of… interest. Tonight, something is different. His eyes are cold and his glare is so icy, I take a step back. The last time he looked at me with this sort of malice was when I listed off his crimes in the interrogation room at Candor, minutes before Tobias shot him in the skull.

Goosebumps prickle my skin and my stomach clenches with fear, but I set my jaw and hold my head high. I will not let him make me weak. I won't give him that satisfaction. "Eric," I say evenly. "I was just about done, anyway. I'll go." I know he won't let me away that easily, but I pull on my jacket and begin to stride to the door anyway.

I will have to pass right by him in order to leave; he stands a yard from the door glaring at me, not blinking, his arms crossed over his chest. He is as still as a statue, not moving a muscle. I keep my eyes on the door. I think I might actually get out of here without any further interaction with him, until I am just steps from the door and I reach out toward the handle- but that is the moment that his hand darts out and grabs my forearm, yanking me toward him.

"Where are you going now, Stiff?" he breathes. "Going to see your boyfriend? Or has he left you already, like in your sim?"

My eyes widen- they must be as round as saucers. My heart beats so heavily in my chest, the rushing of my own blood in my veins is all I can hear. Tobias deleted that sim. I know he did. He told me so. He would never have left that kind of evidence of our relationship, would never be so careless.

Eric laughs humorlessly. "What, you thought I wouldn't find out?" He pulls me closer, and I can feel his breath on my face. "You had better watch yourself, Stiff, and you'd better tell your little boyfriend Four- or maybe I should say Tobias- to watch himself, too. I don't like to be made a fool of."

I rip my arm away from his grasp. Bright red streaks shaped just like Eric's fingers mark the creamy white skin of my arm, and it looks as though it may already be bruising. "I didn't lead you on, Eric. If you feel like a fool, that was through no fault of mine or of Four's," I hiss.

Eric scoffs. "Second best again," he mutters under his breath. Then he turns away and speaks up again. "Get out of my sight," he growls, and stalks toward the punching bags as I push the door open and run.

Tobias

I am exhausted, but can't seem to fall asleep. Telling the Priors about Marcus tonight was terrifying… and freeing, at the same time. They looked shocked, angry, and only a hint of that kicked puppy look I don't want aimed at me. I wonder how Tris reacted when I took her through my fear landscape the first time. If we so quickly became as close as it seems we did, my best guess is that she reacted very similarly to how she did this time, though I can't be sure.

I have just started to drift off while thinking about what I can say to Evelyn tomorrow night when I'm startled awake by a loud knock at my door. It's nearly two in the morning- something has to be wrong. I quickly pull a shirt over my head and flip a light switch on my way to the door. It takes my eyes a moment to adjust to the light, and by the time they do, the door has been kicked shut and Tris is standing in front of me, her eyes wild.

Last time she showed up in the middle of the night she had been attacked. Remembering this I frantically search her for injuries, beginning with her head and working my way down to her shoulders as I ask, "Tris? What happened? Did someone hurt you?"

"No," she says breathlessly, just as my eyes land on large, finger-shaped bruises on her right arm. They're fresh, but already turning purple.

"No?" I challenge. "Then what's this? Who did this, Tris?" My chest is tight at just the thought of someone laying their hands on Tris, despite the fact that I oversaw her training and have watched her being punched and kicked plenty of times. This is different. This isn't about practice. Someone did this because they wanted to hurt her.

I search her eyes as she catches her breath. "Eric," she whispers, her eyes watering. "He- I-" I pull her onto the bed while she stutters, but then she pulls away from me and jumps off the bed. I look at her in bewilderment. What on earth is she upset with me about?!

"You lied to me!" she exclaims, and I have absolutely no idea what she is talking about. I don't have to wait long to find out. "You said you deleted that simulation! The one- the one that- oh my God, how could you, Tobias?!"

The.. the sex one? The one we had the fight about? That's the only one she could possibly be referring to. "Are you kidding me, Tris? Of course I deleted it! Do you really think I want anyone reviewing that? That was… yeah, that is not something I want anyone else to see, ever. I made damn sure that sim was deleted! What is this all about?!"

She said Eric… then she yelled at me about the sim. I know that this means he somehow saw it, but I don't want to admit it to myself. I swear I deleted that. I swear. I triple checked! How could he have seen it?! "Tris," I plead, "just tell me what happened. I promise you, I deleted it, just like I said I did."

"Then how did he know?" Tris's eyes water and she allows me this time to pull her into my lap. "I was in the training room- I couldn't sleep. Eric showed up to yell at me and he just looked so different than the other times- so much colder, his eyes, like he hated me. Not that I've never seen that look from him, but he certainly hasn't looked at me that way in the past few weeks. I tried to leave and he grabbed my arm." She rubs the marks on her forearm, and I gently pull it up and press my lips to the bruising. "He asked where I was going, whether I was going to see my boyfriend… or whether you left me already just like in my sim." She swallows. "He said that you and I had both better watch out."

My mind races. I know I deleted that sim. How did he see that? And if he saw that… did he see anything else he shouldn't have? Part of the reason I train initiates is to help protect divergents- it's why I run all the sims instead of sharing the responsibility with Lauren. Tris and Uriah are the only two divergents this year. Tris has almost flawlessly hidden her divergence, though I know it's strong. He shouldn't be able to detect it. Uriah hasn't done as well as Tris in that regard. Nothing glaring enough that I felt it necessary to delete the recordings, outside of the first sim- which was a subject matter issue, not him manipulating the simulation- but I was counting on there not being any reason for Eric to have a close eye on him. Besides that… without believing the impossible- that Uriah's simulation is actually a memory- it could appear as though his fear is about his divergence putting people he cares for in danger. If Eric saw that sim, it would be much worse for Uriah than what could happen to Tris and me because of Tris's simulation.

Honestly, I'm worried- alarmed, really. I take a deep breath to calm myself. Tris clearly understands just how dangerous Eric is, and panicking won't help the situation. If I can calm myself, that will help calm her. "I don't like the sound of this any more than you do, Tris. But we just have to make it through a few more days, right? We'll warn Uri in the morning, and we just… watch our backs. We have three days left of initiation, then the shit is gonna hit the fan either way, and we put our plan in place and hope it works, right?" Tris bites her lip and nods. "Even when we didn't know what was going to happen, we got through it before, right? We still stopped the sim. And even when you ended up in Erudite… we got you out. I think it sounds like the two of us were pretty unstoppable before, and we will be again."

She closes her eyes and tightens her grip on me. "Okay. Yeah, okay. Just… just a few more days. We'll be okay. We'll be okay." She repeats it like a mantra, like she's trying to convince herself, and I just listen to her for a moment because I need to hear it, too. I'm not worried about me, but I couldn't stand it if something happened to Tris.

That thought overwhelms me- it fills my entire body with this strange warmth. And I know, I have to tell her. Right now.

"Tris," I whisper. She pulls back and looks right into my eyes, and I look back into hers… those piercing light blue-gray eyes that look right into my soul. She has to know, already, she has to have seen it in my eyes. But I need her to hear it, too. "Tris, I love you." It's like an exhale, like the emotion just pours right out of me to fill her.

Tears well in Tris's eyes. "I love you, Tobias. More than anything," she breathes before crashing her lips to mine, both hands cupping my cheeks. Our kiss starts out hungry and passionate, but quickly turns tender and sweet.

I smile into the kiss and feel Tris smile back. When our lips connect again, I find myself pulling her closer, with one hand on the back of her neck and the other pressing against the small of her back. She shifts to straddle me, pushing her tongue inside my mouth, and our tongues mate in a passionate dance. I flip us over, Tris hugging my hips with her legs, her fingers desperately pulling at the hem of my shirt, and I lean back a bit so she can pull it over my head before she lifts her arms as I do the same to hers. I want her more than I have ever wanted anything in my life, I need to be closer, impossibly closer, to this beautiful woman. I need her like I need air to breathe, and every fiber of my being is aching to show her how much I love her. But it doesn't have to be tonight, I would wait a million years for her.

"I love you, Tris," I whisper again and her hands slide down my sides, caressing my body gently, running her fingers along the elastic waistband of my shorts.

"Good," she says against my lips, "because you're it for me, Tobias."

I mold my mouth hungrily against hers again before I kiss her jawline, slowly trailing open mouthed kisses down her neck, and then press my lips to each of the ravens on her collarbone before moving slowly down. "Tobias," she moans, "Tobias, I love you so much."

"I love you, Tris," I whisper again as I come back up to taste her sweet lips again.

I pull away and stare into her eyes. "Show me," she whispers, biting her lip.

"Tris…" I say, looking away as I try to find the words I need. "I am telling you I love you because I do. Not because I want us to immediately make love. I don't care how long we wait."

I look deep into her eyes and they are so full of love, longing, and desire. "I want you, Tobias," she says, her voice strong and sure. She lifts her head and fits her lips to mine once more, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, I am hers and she is mine, we are two parts to one whole. I lean down peck her forehead, then her nose, and finally sweetly kiss her perfect, soft lips, savoring the sweet taste of her mouth.

Tris

My heart races as Tobias leans over me again. It has been so hard to wait… I've already had that first taste when we were together at the Bureau and every time we have kissed, the longing- no, need- has grown stronger. What started as a small flame has become a blazing inferno.

Our next kiss leaves me breathless, then he sits back on his heels again. I smile at him, looking up at him through my eyelashes. "God, you're beautiful," Tobias softly croons, and I can't wait any more. Thankfully, he's beginning to shift on the bed, and as soon as he's close enough I pull him to me.

His love and desire for me, and mine for him, is tangible as we two become one. We focus on each other, it is just him and me as the rest of the world melts away. I can't speak, I can't think, I can't even remember how to breathe. There is just him, and me, and this beautiful moment.

Tobias pulls me close and wraps his arms around me, my head resting on his sculpted shoulder. "Wow," he says when he can finally speak.

I smile. "Yeah… wow."

Tobias leans in and kisses me deeply. "I love you," he says softly, stroking my cheek with his thumb and resting his forehead against mine.

"I love you, too, Tobias," I whisper back.

We only had that one night together before I died setting off the memory serum, and now we have tonight. I can only hope and pray that nothing happens to make history to repeat itself. We need more- we deserve more. But if everything goes wrong, now nothing remains unsaid. We have tonight and we have love.