"I…I…don't want you to hate me," Michonne said.

Rick had never seen Michonne so afraid. He placed the ring on the dining room table. His knees ached in this kneeling position, but he remained by her side. He kissed her hand gently. "Michonne, after everything we've been through, a secret's not going to change anything between us."

Michonne closed her eyes and dropped her chin. She took in a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly. "That night, five years ago," she said, lifting her head to meet his gaze, "that amazing night…"

Rick smiled flirtatiously. "Yes..."

The doorbell chimed, pulling away Rick's attention. "Hold that thought," he said, standing. He moved toward the foyer. Michonne grabbed his arm, halting him.

"Rick, this can't wait. I need to tell you now." Michonne's wide eyes and parted lips gave him pause.

Rick looked between Michonne and the door. "But it could be an emergency."

"Whatever it is can wait. If I don't tell you now, I might lose my nerve."

Rick frowned, wondering if this had to do with Daryl. "Michonne-"

"Andre was your son," Michonne blurted out.

Rick went as still as a statue, the words bouncing around in his mind. Your son. "Andre…my what?"

Somewhere off in the distance, Rick heard the front door open and close. Carl rushed past the dining room and toward the staircase, a blur in Rick's peripheral vision. "Don't mind me," he called as he ran up the stairs, "I just forgot my comic books."

Rick stared at Michonne, her familiar face morphing into that of a stranger's.

Carl raced down the stairs. "Alright, I'm outta here…" he said, unaware of the tense scene in the dining room. "Enjoy your dinner," he teased, shutting the front door behind him, and leaving Rick and Michonne alone, to dig through the rubble of their imploding relationship.

Michonne dropped into her chair and took a large sip of wine. "Andre was your son, not Mike's." She cradled the wine glass in her slender hand.

Rick ran his hands through his curly hair to avoid grabbing Michonne by the arms and shaking her. "And you kept this from me, for five years? Who do you think you are…to make that kind of decision?"

"I wanted to tell you…so many times. When Andre was born. On his first birthday, and his second, and then his third. Every time I worked up the nerve to tell you, I thought about your family…your wife and son. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't destroy your family."

"You should have thought about that before inviting me into your bed." Rick wanted to hurt her, as much as he was hurting right now.

Michonne parted her full lips, but remained silent. Those beautiful lips he couldn't get enough of only minutes ago, were a part of a face that he could barely stand to look at.

"I thought you knew me," he said, his chest tightening. "Or at least I thought you knew I was the kind of man who would never leave his child behind."

He had wasted so much time with this fantasy of Michonne; the beautiful woman who had touched his life and his soul and changed them forever. If he'd spent that time focusing on his wife and his marriage, maybe Lori would still be alive. Maybe Carl would still have his mother.

"Rick, baby," Michonne said, standing. She reached out for him. "I'm so-"

"Get out," he said, taking a step back.

"What?" Michonne frowned, tears pooling in her eyes. "Rick, we need to talk about this. I know what I've done is unforgivable, but I love you. I can't leave you."

"If you don't leave now, I'm terrified at what I might do."

The fear in Michonne's eyes almost made him flinch. "Please…" she pleaded in a whisper.

"Get…out…now!" Rick yelled in a strained voice that sounded nothing like his own. He turned away from her, clenching his fists.

Through the seething anger and the sadness and the pain, he sensed her leave the dining room. Only when he heard the front door open and close did he unclench his fists. He moved to the dining room table and picked up the wine bottle, taking a long drag, the burning liquid fueling the fire of his burning heart.

Rick threw the bottle against the wall, green glass shattering into pieces, blood red liquid dripping to the floor. All he could see was red.

"Rick!" a woman called from somewhere behind him. Rick sighed and turned to find Jessie hurrying toward him. Her blonde hair floated in the wind, her kind smile easing the annoyance he felt at having to actually have a conversation with someone. He had to remind himself that Jessie was not the source of his frustration. He hadn't seen that woman in over two weeks.

"Hey, Jessie," he said, unable to muster a smile, but at least able to keep himself from frowning.

"Back from another run?" she asked. "That's got to be your third one this week."

Rick was not sure whether to be flattered or worried about Jessie's tendency to keep tabs on him. He decided to appreciate that someone other than his teenage son cared about his daily whereabouts.

"We're running low on supplies and Glenn's group needs all the help they can get." Lying came easy. So easy, that he almost believed the words himself. Going on runs had given him the space he needed from that woman. Killing walkers had given him some relief from the grief that was becoming a familiar friend.

"You're coming tonight, right? The party is to welcome your group after all." She crossed her arms over her ample cleavage.

Rick cleared his throat, surprised by the sudden twinge of desire he felt. He guessed it was a sign of loneliness more than anything else. Besides Aaron, Jessie had been the only member of Alexandria to show any interest in getting to know Rick since his group had arrived less than a month ago. The others seemed wary at the least and terrified at the most, the majority making a point to keep their distance from him. He spent most of his time nowadays either with his kids or in his room feeling sorry for himself.

"Yeah, Carl and I will be there," he said. Carl had badgered him into going, insisting that he needed to spend more of his free time interacting with people than staying holed up in the house.

"Great." Jessie held his eyes a little longer than necessary. "Good," she said nodding and finally looking away. "I'll see you later then." She waved as she headed back to her house.

Rick's eyes dropped to her swaying hips. When they had first arrived to Alexandria, he had hardly noticed Jessie. Now that his previous object of desire was fast becoming a distant memory, he noticed a lot of things. Namely, that Jessie was into him. Really into him.

Reel it in, he thought. She's married, to a doctor at that. And your kids are practically best friends. And you're just really lonely.

Although, Rick had noticed a disconnect between Jessie and her husband, as though Jessie would rather be anywhere else than in a room with the father of kids. You need to stay as far away from that as possible. He had no desire to complicate his life any further or to use a married woman as a distraction.

Rick continued on his way, passing Daryl's house. His friend had just returned from a trip with Aaron and Rick was interested in learning about any progress they had made finding potential members to join Alexandria, but there was no way he would step a foot inside of his place. The woman who had moved out his house had decided to settle in with his best friend. The thought of the two of them sitting in their pajamas, having intimate conversations into all hours of the night, made his pulse race.

What do you care, anyway? It's over between you two. How could he ever trust the woman who had kept his son from him? A son he would never meet? He would not – could not – forgive her. Ever.

The door of Daryl's house creaked open. Carl stepped out, laughing, that woman following close behind him.

Rick halted just as Michonne looked his way, the smile dropping from her face. She looked as though she might retreat, but she stood her ground. Even from this distance, he could detect the sadness in her eyes.

He did not want to concern himself with her emotions, whether she was drowning in regret or floating with contentment. He did not want to know anything about her.

"Dad," Carl said, guilt overtaking his expression. "Dad, I just came by to–"

"I don't care," Rick said. They had agreed when Michonne left that Carl wouldn't visit her. Apparently, he'd just been ingratiating his oblivious father. "You deliberately broke your promise to me. I thought you were old enough to not pull something this childish."

Carl puffed out his chest out at that last remark, straightening his shoulders. "Just because you've given up on Michonne, doesn't mean I have to stop being friends with her."

"Carl, don't make me come up there and drag you off that porch."

Michonne placed her hand on Carl's shoulder before he could protest. "Your father's right," she said. "Rick, I'm sorry. I didn't know he wasn't allowed to come here."

The barb wire around Rick's heart nearly uncoiled at the gentle expression on her face. And then he reminded himself of the fact that he still had no idea what Andre even looked like.

"But he just kicked you out for no reason," Carl said to Michonne. "Don't you at least deserve an explanation?"

"I'm the one at fault, not your Dad." Michonne gently nudged Carl down the stairs. "Now go, I've got to get dolled up for that party tonight."

Disappointment and excitement stirred within Rick at discovering that Michonne would be in attendance at the party. Rick's heart involuntarily skipped a beat at the memory of how the silk dress he'd gotten her had hugged her curves. And then he remembered how she'd broken his heart that same night.

"Carl, come on," he said, with a little more edge than he'd meant to. He walked away, knowing his son would follow.

Rick knocked on the front door of Deanna's house, tempted to flee for the comfort of a whiskey shot in his own room. Ever since he'd discovered Michonne would be attending, he searched for a plausible excuse to decline the invitation. Unfortunately, lying was not one of his talents. Not like some people he knew.

Deanna opened the door, greeting Rick with a warm smile. "I'm so glad you could make it," she said, as though he were her only guest. Deanna had planned this party to officially welcome all of the newcomers to Alexandria, not just him, but her kindness still eased his nerves. "You clean up well."

Rick tugged at the pale blue polo shirt he donned for the evening. It was casual enough for him to be comfortable, yet a notch above his usual t-shirt and jeans. This was as dressy as Rick could manage, considering his sour mood. "Thanks."

"But where's Carl?" Deanna asked.

"He's not feeling well." More like he refused to come out of his room after a lengthy argument about Michonne.

Rick scanned the room. He planned to avoid Michonne as best he could, but he had to find her first.

"She's over in the corner, talking to Daryl," Deanna said, jutting her chin to the left.

"Who?" Rick asked, though he looked in the direction she had indicated. Michonne stood with Daryl, who leaned back against the wall nursing a beer, his hand jammed into the pocket of his black jeans. Michonne faced Daryl, smiling as though she didn't have a care in the world, as though she had not completely destroyed the happiness he dared to grasp onto. She wore a bright yellow sundress that flattered her slender figure, hugging her behind. Daryl wore shiny black cowboy boots, ones Rick had never seen before. He bristled at the thought that Daryl had made the extra effort with his wardrobe to impress Michonne.

"Life is too short to gamble at love," Deanna said at his side, her remark only heightening his misery.

"I need a beer," Rick mumbled, leaving in search of libations.

He darted into the kitchen, narrowly avoiding a collision with Jessie, who carried a tray of pigs in the blanket. Rick gripped her shoulders reflexively. "Whoa," he said.

"Nice catch," Jessie said, smiling. "You scurried in here like a little mouse. Who's chasing you?"

"No one," he said brusquely, removing his hands from her shoulders. "Just in search of a beer."

"We ran out of those a long time ago, but…" Jessie placed the tray on the kitchen counter. She opened a cupboard and reached into the deep recesses of the top shelf, balancing on the tips of her toes. She retrieved a bottle of bourbon. "Bingo."

"How'd you know that was there?" Rick asked, genuinely intrigued.

"Deanna and I have gotten through some difficult conversations over this bottle. She won't mind if we take a shot. Or two," she said, winking.

Rick laughed for the first time in what felt like an eternity. "Well, considering we brought back a few boxes of top-shelf vodka today, a couple of shots probably won't be missed."

Jessie grabbed a pair of white mugs and poured two generous shots. She handed Rick a mug and he accepted without hesitation.

"Cheers," she said, clinking her cup against his.

"Cheers," Rick said. The first sip burned through his tension. "Now, that's a drink." He downed the remaining liquor, smacking his lips together.

Jessie laughed. "So bourbon is your choice of poison. I'll make a note of that." She smiled over the rim of her cup, her eyes flitting to his lips.

Rick suddenly saw the line, bright and clear, and still chose to cross over it. He wasn't the married one. And she was the one leading him on. Plus, he deserved to have a little fun tonight. Michonne obviously was.

Rick took a step toward Jessie, his face a few inches from hers. "Most people can't appreciate a good bourbon." He leaned in and Jessie pressed back against the kitchen counter. He reached around to grab the bottle of bourbon, just grazing her lips with his jaw. Jessie sucked in a breath.

Rick poured himself another shot and refilled her mug. He swirled the auburn liquid around. "A good bourbon beats any fancy wine I've ever tasted."

Rick downed his shot of bourbon, his eyes never leaving Jessie's. She stood watching him, desire blazing in the depths of her warm brown eyes. He inhaled her scent - vanilla with a hint of roses.

Rick placed his mug on the kitchen counter, his hand grazing her hip. He grabbed her mug with his other hand and downed her shot as well, placing it on the other side of the counter, his hands effectively trapping her.

He settled in, her sweet breath warming his lips. "You smell good," he said.

"It's just shampoo," she said, panting.

This was the point of no return. If Rick kissed Jessie, it would mean his relationship with Michonne was really over. There would be no going back to the way things were, before she'd confessed her secret, her lie.

Rick moved in, capturing Jessie's lips with his own. Her lips were soft and sweet. But they weren't Michonne's. The thought cooled his libido like ice water.

"Rick," he heard Michonne gasp from behind him. Rick's heart beat a tattoo against his ribcage, but he kept his back to her. He kissed Jessie deeper, driven more by his desire for vengeance than his desire for Jessie. She pulled away.

"Rick, we should stop," she said, blushing furiously. Her eyes slid to something behind him and she gasped. Jessie trembled, not uttering a word.

Rick turned to find Pete standing where he'd expected to see Michonne.

"What the hell is going on here?" Pete asked, his face twisted in a menacing smirk.

Rick had wanted to see the hurt on Michonne's face, to know that he had wounded her as much as she had him. With Michonne nowhere to be found, he focused his anger on Pete instead.

"What does it look like?" If Pete wanted a fight, Rick would be happy to give him one. A fight was about the only thing he was in the mood for. Good thing Carl wasn't here.

"It looks like you're sucking face with my wife," Pete spat, slightly slurring his words.

"Pete, please," Jessie squeaked out.

"Shut up, I'll deal with you later," Pete said, moving for Rick.

Pete may have had a few inches on Rick, but the shorter man knew how to handle himself in a fight. He had taken down guys a lot larger than Pete in the tussles he and Shane had gotten into as teenagers. Frat guys looking to start trouble in their town had soon realized they had taken on more than they could handle, when Rick and Shane got involved. Rick looked forward to putting this drunk doctor in his place.

"You're not man enough to hold onto your own woman, so now you're trying to move in on mine."

Rick dodged Pete's sloppy punch and leveraged the man's momentum to slam him to the floor. Jessie screamed. Rick only saw red.

Pete flipped over to find Rick on top of him. "You should've picked on someone your own size," Rick said.

He slammed his fist into Pete's jaw. The pain shooting through his hand made him feel alive, like he belonged to the world again. Like there was more to life than just grief and misery. There was hatred too.

"Rick, no!" Jesse yelled, her words barely registering. He hit Pete again, the bones in his nose crunching under the impact.

Rick could sense people gathering around, some yelling at him to stop. He threw punches, his rage controlling his movements like a puppeteer. He landed one blow after another, his right hand going numb.

He thought he heard Michonne's cries through the haze, but he was on a mission to destroy Pete and no one was going to stop him. Not even her.

"Daryl, don't!" He thought he heard Michonne yell before he felt a fist connect with the back of his skull, the conscious world falling into a dream.

The throbbing at the back of Rick's head woke him from a restless slumber. He lay face up on a sagging mattress that had seen better days. He opened his eyes to dimness. Daylight streamed through a tiny barred window to his left, casting the mattress in a muted glow.

"You look like shit," Michonne said from somewhere in the shadows. Rick sat up, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

A chair scraped slowly against the cement floor. He guessed he was in an unfinished basement somewhere.

Rick looked around the dim room. There were no furnishings except for the mattress and the chair. "What is this place?"

"Somewhere Deanna thought would be a good place for you to cool off."

"I was drunk. It wasn't a big deal."

"The kiss or the fight?"

So she had seen him kiss Jessie. "The fight," Rick said, watching closely for her reaction. She offered him none.

"The expression on your face said otherwise. If Daryl hadn't stepped in, you would've killed Pete."

"I doubt it was that serious. And anyway, I'm sure your new boyfriend enjoyed having the opportunity to knock out his competition."

"Let's get one thing clear – there's nothing going on between me and Daryl. Period. We're just friends."

"Not if you ask him. He's been in love with you since the prison."

Michonne remained silent, not denying or confirming anything. Typical lawyer.

"Or maybe he's just another man for you to betray."

"That's not fair."

"Fair? That's hilarious coming from you. I'll tell you what's not fair – my son dying before I even have a chance to meet him. Now that's unfair."

As had said the words, Rick wished he could take them back. But the damage was already done.

Michonne's bottom lip trembled furiously. She covered her face with her hands, muffling her sobs.

"Michonne," Rick said softly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He did mean to upset her, but he said the words he hoped would comfort her and end her tears. Seeing her cry made it difficult to hold onto his anger.

Michonne continued to cry and Rick sat silently, not sure what more he could say.

She gradually quieted down and lowered her hands, her face messy with tears and snot. She swiped her sleeve across her cheeks and nose, doing her best to remove the evidence of her obvious distress.

"How did he die?"Rick asked gently, knowing this was not the right time, but needing to ask the question that had haunted him ever since she'd revealed the truth.

Michonne took a deep breath. "After this thing started, my only concern was to keep Andre safe. We lived in the suburbs then, which had yet to be touched by the infection. It was where I felt safe, where I felt I could keep Andre safe. But Mike wanted to find his parents, who were living in Atlanta. We argued for days, but I finally realized he was going whether or not I came with him. And Andre wanted to stay with his dad."

Michonne watched Rick, likely anticipating a reaction. Rick kept his face blank, though the idea of Mike raising his son infuriated him.

Michonne continued. "So we left for Atlanta. But we never got there. Outside of the suburbs, there was only chaos and death and anarchy. I refused to go any further. Luckily, we met a couple on the way to a camp the military had set up and was supposed to be safe. We had just enough gas to make it and for the first time in a month, I felt safe. Andre had shelter and food and protection. And I thought we were okay."

Michonne paused for some time, finally continuing in a shaky voice. "We lived in the camp for a few weeks, without incident. I volunteered to go on runs, to contribute what I could. I had become pretty good with the katana and that proved to be valuable to the people in charge. I returned from one especially long run, I think we had been gone for three or four days, to find the front gate littered with walker bodies. The gate had been overrun, with no signs of the military, except for the soldiers shuffling around as walkers. The group I was with, we fought our way inside, only to find our loved ones in various states of...decay. I found Mike and Andre in our tent. From what I could tell…they had both turned and someone else had taken it upon themselves to put them out of their misery."

Rick just listened, grateful to Michonne for reliving this horror in order to share this story with him.

"When I saw Andre like that, more than grief, I felt relief. Relief at not having to put my baby down myself. I stayed with them, wishing for another walker herd to run through the camp, and reunite me with my family. Obviously, that never happened and I decided to pack what I could carry and let a higher power decide my fate. That fate brought Andrea across my path and the rest you already know."

Rick nodded. "Thank you," he said, vying with a slew of emotions. "But I just have one more question."

"Yes?" Michonne asked, as though she did not really want to hear his question.

"Did you ever once consider calling me, after this all started? Did you ever think that maybe I was the better choice to keep Andre safe. and not Mike?"

"Rick, I thought about that every day, but I was afraid. Afraid of how you would react. Of how this might affect your family. I couldn't burden you with that responsibility."

And Rick said the words he knew could sever their relationship for good, but which he could not hold back. "Maybe if you'd had the courage to tell me about Andre in the first place, he would still be alive."

Michonne closed her eyes. "Maybe," she said in a low voice. "And that's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life."

She stood and reached into her pocket, retrieving a glossy photo. She handed it to Rick. He hesitated before reaching out to take it.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could give you more than just his photo," Michonne said somberly, before exiting the basement and locking the door behind her.

Rick's hand trembled as he brought the photo into the light. A toddler, with golden brown skin and clear blue eyes, beamed at the camera. He sat in the lap of a man Rick assumed to be Mike. They appeared to be at a football game, surrounded by fans in red jerseys. Andre was perfect. And he had Rick's eyes.

Rick finally let go, weeping for the son he would never know and grieving for the love he'd probably lost forever.

A/N: This chapter was a little heavy, but their relationship will be stronger because of this moment. They will truly need to fight for their love, this second time around. I probably had a little more Jessie action than most would like, but she won't be around for much longer, I promise. Watching Rick get together with Jessie on the show really confused me and I needed to know why he would choose her over Michonne. This is me explaining why. In my version of events, Rick may have been attracted to Jessie, but she was just a means to get back at Michonne for betraying his trust. Rick is hurting and Michonne is hurting and they will need to find a way past the hurt to reclaim their love. I really hope you stick with the story and the characters (even though I know some of ya'll are really hating Rick right now) because there's still more to come! As always, thanks again for the faves, follows and reviews!