A/N: Hello again. Things are about to get exciting. Please let me know what you think! ~J

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

The ice cold wind whistled harshly as it whipped through the open door of the shuttle. Not for the first time Shepard was grateful for the armor that kept most of the tempestuous elements out. She turned to look at Garrus, who was half hidden in the corner by dusky blue and black shadows. He stood there rigidly, arms folded across his chest as he scrutinized her. Concern had hardened his already chiseled features; his eyes were a dusty shade of beige, his mouth drawn into a tight frown, and his mandibles were pulled closely together. If it hadn't been for the slight twitch in one of them, she would have sworn he was angry with her.

"Yes," she whispered, gazing out over Alchera's frozen crust. It was time.

A gust of wind caught a section of loose snow and sent it fluttering up into a glittering whirlwind. On any other planet the sight might have been breathtakingly beautiful, but she wasn't there to admire the scenery. She was there to lay old ghosts to rest.

Admiral Hackett had forwarded her the coordinates to the first Normandy's crash site not long after he'd debriefed her about Dr. Kenson's 'rescue'. It could have been his way of saying that he didn't have any hard feelings over what had happened; but she wasn't entirely sure. The tragic turn of events still weighed heavily on her mind. In the weeks that followed the mass relay's destruction she'd waited anxiously to hear of any reprisal from the batarians, or the supposed court date that loomed in her future, but no word ever came.

"Would you like me to go with you?"

Garrus's voice sliced through her thoughts and brought her back to the task at hand.

"No. Thank you for the offer, but no. I think that this is something I should do alone."

She had expected him to disagree. He'd hardly let her out of his sight since she'd returned from Dr. Kenson's base, and while she found his overprotective nature to be endearing at times, it had soon begun to wear on her nerves. But instead of insisting to remain by her side, his eyes softened and he relaxed, letting his arms fall limply to his sides.

"I understand," he said simply. "I'll be right here if you change your mind. Just call me over the comm and I'll come find you."

She smiled in return and touched his arm briefly before she stepped out into the frigid atmosphere. The doors to the shuttle closed behind her, leaving her alone in a wasteland of snow and ice. She had known that the desolation would be eerily quiet, but she was surprised just how loud the sound of her own breathing inside her helmet really was.

With laden steps she quietly walked around the strewn wreckage, reminiscing about each section she came to, thinking about those crew members that were no longer with them. Admiral Hackett supplied her with a list of names whose dog tags hadn't been recovered and charged her with the task of sifting through the debris in hopes of finding them. Shepard had agreed to the mission immediately, but now that she was here, staring at the remains of what seemed now to be another life, she was suddenly struck by just how hard the job was going to be.

So much had changed in just the short time since her team had destroyed the collector base. Of course, she knew it was inevitable, but she'd grown accustomed to the way things were and wasn't particularly thrilled at the recent turns of events. That thought immediately made her feel guilty. She couldn't hold a grudge against the members of her crew that had decided to move on. That wasn't fair. They'd done their duty. But she had come to think of everyone on her ship as family and it still hurt when one of them left to pursue other things.

Despite Zaeed's promise, as soon as he got a lead on Vido's location he was up and out of there before she even had a chance to offer to help track him down. He was probably afraid she'd try to talk him out of killing him again.

Other members of the crew took advantage of Zaeed's departure to go their separate ways as well. Thane's Kepral's Syndrome had taken a turn for the worst and he had decided to spend the rest of his days with his son Koliyat in an environment more suitable to his condition. Then right after that, Samara had asked to be dropped off when the Normandy docked at the next port.

While she had never really gotten to know Thane as well as she would have liked – the enigmatic drell kept mostly to himself – she was deeply saddened to see the Justicar go. Samara had quietly dealt with Morinth's death, but Shepard knew that she wasn't taking the loss of her daughter lightly. The only way to ease her mind, Samara had told her, was to continue to live by her code and bring justice to the galaxy. Shepard had smiled at that, knowing full well how throwing oneself into work could dull the pain of an arching heart.

The sudden adjustment in the number of crew members wasn't the only thing that had changed among those who remained. Since almost everyone aboard had witnessed her breakdown in the mess hall when Garrus went into cardiac arrest, a consequence of all the torture he had endured at the hand of the Illusive Man, she saw no need to hide their relationship from that point forward. As a result, other members of the Normandy felt comfortable enough to pursue relationships of their own.

Ken finally took Garrus's advice and told Gabby how he felt. He told Shepard later on that the girl had smacked him upside the head and asked what had taken him so long.

Every now and then Shepard would catch Jacob scurrying out of Miranda's office on her way to the main battery. He always tried to appear casual and nonchalant about it, which made her laugh. She certainly didn't care. Miranda and Jacob had a history and she was glad that the two of them had worked past whatever had been holding them back. Besides, Shepard had thought with a grin, her XO needed to let loose and have a good time once in a while. But Jacob was a military man through and through, and the 'no fraternization' policy had been drilled into him by the Alliance early on. She imagined it would take a while for him to feel comfortable with making the relationship known.

But what had possibly surprised her the most was Kelly's willingness to go with Zaeed. She still didn't understand what Kelly saw in the somewhat self-centered merc for hire – aside from his 'bad boy' tendencies, anyway. Other than a few bragging sessions which had the yeoman practically glued to his every word, Shepard hadn't really seen Zaeed express any interest in her. It had been a long night of tears and alcohol after he turned her down.

She had even overheard Tali talking to Kal'Reegar one night while making her rounds, though the flustered quarian had fervently tried to deny it.

Everyone needed someone to turn to at the end of the day, she thought. Of course, that was easy to say now that she had Garrus. The turian had moved his things into her quarters shortly after the Normandy was repaired and repainted and she couldn't be happier at the way things were going between them.

The tip of her foot tapped against something hard. Juggling the strings of dog tags from one hand to the other, Shepard knelt down and carefully brushed away the snow. The faint light from the shuttle glinted off the shiny surface as she chipped away the ice until the visor of her old N7 helmet was clearly visible.

When she finally pried free she picked it up and looked at it. She had never really allowed herself to dwell on the fact that she had actually died high above this planet. It was a thought that only led to a sense of longing over what was lost and what could have been, not to mention hours of self-contemplation on why exactly she had been spared in the end. It was much better to think of the future.

"What's that?" Garrus asked when she stepped into the shuttle.

She handed him the helmet. It looked so small in his large hands as he turned it over to examine it.

"My old helmet."

"The one you were….oh. Why are you keeping it?"

"As a reminder," she said as she settled against one of the seats attached to the wall, "to live each day like it's my last."

XXX

"How are things today?" Shepard asked Kelly as she walked past the galaxy map in the CIC.

The redhead turned around and feigned a smile. "Not too much going on right now. You have unread messages at your private terminal."

"I meant with you," Shepard said softly.

Kelly's brilliant green eyes darkened. "I'm fine. If that's all Commander, I'd really like to get back to work."

The corner of Shepard's lip twitched but she said nothing. Instead she smiled and squeezed Kelly's upper arm before going over to her terminal on the other side of the map. There were several messages in her inbox, including one from Admiral Hackett thanking her for what she did for the families of those lost on the SR-1.

"I mean, I'm better off without him, right?"

Shepard pulled away from her monitor and turned her head to the right. Kelly had turned back around and was leaning against the railing with her hands folded across her chest. She closed her inbox, ignoring the message from Captain Anderson marked 'urgent'.

"Absol–"

"Maybe I didn't want to go on a manhunt anyway."

"Chambers, you look like you could use a break and I think there's a few of Gardner's special chocolate chip cookies left in the mess hall with your name on it." Shepard flicked her head toward the elevator.

A slow grin spread across Kelly's face. "Is that an order?"

"Yup. Of the highest priority. Shall we?"

A whole plateful of cookies and two glasses of milk later Kelly finally sat back with a sigh. "Thanks Shepard, I really needed that."

"Anytime. You were there for me when I needed support," she said, looking off in the direction of the main battery. "Did Zaeed give you any indication that he would keep in contact with you?"

Kelly shrugged and picked a chocolate chip from the cookie in her hand and stuck it in her mouth. "He said that Vido was who he needed to focus on right now and that he didn't have time for anything that could get in the way of that."

Shepard's brow crinkled. That kind of cryptic statement could be taken any number of ways. "Maybe he just didn't want you exposed to that kind of situation. Maybe after he's taken care of his past he'll come back for you."

"Oh I don't know," Kelly said with a sigh. "I really don't think I could wait around another twenty years."

Shepard laughed.

"I think the best thing to do is just move on. I don't like it, but I can't waste my life waiting for something that might never happen. And if I'm wrong, well, I guess I'll just be pleasantly surprised, right?"

"Right. If it's meant to be, it will happen."

"Yeah." Kelly stood up and placed both her hands on the back of the chair. "I suppose we both better get back to work. I didn't mean to keep you this long." She paused and then smiled thoughtfully. "But I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me."

"Not a problem Kelly."

Shepard got up from the table and together they took the elevator back up to the CIC.

"Oh dear," Kelly said when she pulled up the screen on her own terminal. Her tone implied that it was anything but good. "I think its a good thing we came back when we did."

"What is it?"

"I have at least three messages from a Councilor David Anderson. It looks like he's been trying really hard to get a hold of you."

Suddenly Shepard remembered the urgent message in her inbox. Inexplicably she felt her gut tighten with apprehension.

"Send them to me and I'll check them out right now."

The first three messages were short, each increasing in intensity.

Shepard, we need to talk.

She clicked and opened the second one.

Contact me as soon as you get this message.

Then the third.

Shepard, this is an urgent matter that demands your immediate attention.

The last message was more formal.

Shepard,

The Council has requested a meeting with you. This should be your number one priority above any other mission. Please head for the Citadel at once. I had hoped to brief you ahead of time, but was unable to get in touch with you.

Councilor Anderson

Her hands shook on the desk beside the terminal. He had said 'Councilor' instead of 'Captain'. What was going on?

She swallowed over the lump of fear in her throat and looked to Kelly. "Tell Joker to set a course for the Citadel right away."

XXX

The minute she stepped through the door Shepard knew that it wasn't going to a nice visit with the council just to fill them in on more details of Cerberus and the reapers. Anderson had been sitting behind his desk, elbows on the surface in a very business-like manner, talking to Ambassador Udina when she walked in. He jumped up immediately and met her at the door. Although his mouth was set in a grim line, his dark brown eyes were sad as he looked from her to Garrus and Miranda.

"You'll need to leave your squad outside," he instructed her.

"What is this?" she demanded. Behind the captain, Udina smirked. "What's going on?"

Anderson said nothing and merely waited for her to comply with his request, if you could call it that.

"Fine. Garrus, Miranda – both of you report back to the Normandy."

Miranda nodded and walked through the door. Garrus reluctantly turned to follow her, but not before fixing Udina with an icy glare.

"Now, are you going to tell me what all this is about?" Shepard asked once they were alone.

"Have a seat Shepard," Anderson answered. He held out his hand indicating the empty seat next to the ambassador.

She cautiously walked further into the room, but chose to remain standing. Something about both their mannerisms had her hackles raised. She approached the desk and set eyes on Admiral Hackett. From where she was standing at the door his silent form had been completely blocked from view.

"Admiral," she said tersely and nodded.

"Commander," he replied. Then he looked down.

"Why do I get the sudden feeling I just walked into an ambush?" Shepard asked Anderson.

"Because you have, more or less," he said.

Before he could say any more on the subject, the three holographic images of the Council appeared before them.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Councilor Sparatus snapped. Even from here she imagined she could feel the heat of anger radiating off the turian's body. "Destroying a mass relay, wiping out an entire system? Is there no end to the havoc that your kind is willing to wreak upon the galaxy?"

"Councilor Sparatus is right," the asari said. As always her voice was calm and even. "We agreed with you that the reapers do indeed exist, but –"

"But that doesn't give you the right to annihilate an entire system!" Councilor Valern cried. "The batarians are on the verge of war over this!"

"I didn't have a choice!" Shepard fired back at them. "Dr. Kenson was under the effect of indoctrination. She drugged me and held me prisoner for two days! She was crazy! I tried to warn the batarians, to give them a chance –"

"A likely story," Councilor Sparatus scoffed.

"You should have consulted with us first," Councilor Tevos said, leveling her crystalline eyes on Shepard.

"There wasn't time! Wasn't it you," she pointed to the Salarian, "who told me that sometimes spectres have to make sacrifices? Well, that's what I did. I made a decision for the good of the galaxy."

"That decision, as you so carelessly put it, cost over 300,000 lives!" Councilor Valern retorted.

Anger raged through Shepard's body. She should have known that the Council would choose to see only the casualty list and none of the greater good.

"And what if I hadn't done that? What if I had let the reapers come through the Alpha Relay? What then?" She stepped up to their images and pointed a finger accusingly at all three of them. "I'll tell you what would have happened. None of us would be here right now, that's what!"

"I believe you Shepard," Anderson's voice cut in, "but right now this looks like a blatant attack on the batarians. And that is just the excuse they're looking for to seek out war with humanity."

"This isn't the time to be fighting amongst ourselves!" she cried. "We're going to need the support of every race if we hope to stop the reapers!"

"Well, you're certainly off to a wonderful start." Udina quipped. Then he turned to Anderson. "I told you it wasn't a good idea to give her spectre status."

Shepard's hands clenched into fists at her sides. Once, just once she'd love to punch that asshole right in the face.

"Preliminary negotiations have been started with the batarians in an attempt to stave off war," Councilor Tevos said, "but they have stipulations."

The same knot of apprehension twisted around Shepard's stomach again. "Like what?" she asked uneasily.

It was Anderson, not the asari that answered her.

"The Council has agreed to let you keep your spectre status…"

Shepard could feel a 'but' coming.

"…on the condition that you and the Normandy return to the control of the Alliance."

"What?"

"Shepard, it's –"

"The Alliance turned their back on me when I died! Why do they want to be involved now?"

"It's either this, or incarceration until your trial," Councilor Sparatus said gruffly.

"Trial?" So there would be a court date.

"Yes Shepard," Anderson said. "There will be a trial on Earth to review your actions. I don't know yet when it will be."

Her mind reeled. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be.

"What is your decision Commander Shepard?" Councilor Valern demanded.

She looked at the council and then back to Anderson and lifted her hands resignedly. "What do I need to do?"

"Councilor Anderson and Admiral Hackett will go through all the details with you," Councilor Tevos instructed. "We will expect a report from you monthly containing the specifics of all your missions."

Councilors Sparatus and Valern shot her one more look of disapproval before the feed was cut and the images vanished. With a heavy heart she turned back to the men that suddenly she had come to think of as her enemies.

"I know you're angry Shepard," Anderson started. "But this was the only way."

She held up her hand. "Save it."

To her left Udina sighed. She narrowed her eyes hatefully and he looked down.

Folding her arms over her chest she asked, "So what, do I just send you regular reports as well?"

"I'm afraid that it isn't going to be that easy." Anderson looked away from her and she felt her heart stop. "The Alliance has a vested interest in the Normandy now and they don't want to be involved with anything that has to do with Cerberus."

"In case you don't remember, we're not with Cerberus anymore," she spit.

Anderson looked at her with pity. "That goes for any crew members that used to be associated with the organization as well."

"What? You're going to gut my crew too!" This was too much! How could they demand that of her? They were her crew. Had risking their lives to take down the collectors not been enough to establish their loyalty as far as the Alliance was concerned? "Don't I have a say in any of this?"

Anderson indicated the chair that he'd offered to her when she had first arrived and she sat down in it with an exasperated sigh. He opened a drawer in his desk and took out a stack of dossiers, not unlike the ones the Illusive Man had forwarded to her, and spread them across the smooth surface. Licking his finger he flipped open the first file.

"Miranda Lawson, Cerberus Officer. Worked closely with the Illusive Man."

"She resigned," Shepard stated flatly.

Anderson looked at her and moved the folder aside. "She's too much of a risk. Jacob Taylor…"

"Jacob is former Alliance."

Jacob's file hovered in the air. "Do you believe that he could be persuaded to enlist again?"

Shepard thought about the soldier's devotion to the military and his devotion to Miranda. "I can ask," was all she came up with.

"Garrus Vakarian and Tali Zorah vas Neema."

"Garrus and Tali have been part of my squad from the beginning. You know they can be trusted!"

"Very well." He put those two files in a separate pile.

"I heard a rumor that you have an active geth on board," Udina interjected. Anderson looked to Shepard for confirmation.

"That's correct."

"Absolutely not!"

"Who are you demand who goes and who stays on my crew?" Shepard threw back at the ambassador.

"Udina's right. We can't take the chance that it might shift its allegiance."

Shepard rolled her eyes. God, this was insane!

"Mordin Solus."

"Mordin has been an integral part of my crew. It was his counter measures that kept us from being taken by the collectors."

Anderson nodded and put the salarian's folder in the pile along with Garrus and Tali's.

"Kelly Chambers." He flipped open her file. "Hand picked by the Illusive Man." He looked at Shepard and then placed it in the 'no' stack.

Shepard opened and shut her mouth wordlessly. Not Kelly!

"Jack –"

"Jack is the last person that would be associated with Cerberus!" And the first one to get in line to kill the Illusive Man when we find him, Shepard thought darkly.

Jack's dossier went in the 'keep' stack.

"Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels"

"Both former Alliance." In the keep pile.

"Kasumi Goto and Urdnot Grunt."

"Grunt planned on heading back to Tuchanka at the end of the month to continue training with Wrex, and Kasumi…Kasumi's a friend."

"She's a thief!" Udina flared.

"I can vouch for her." She pleaded silently with Anderson.

"Fine." He placed Grunt's file in the 'no' stack and Kasumi's in the 'yes'.

"What about Joker?" Shepard hadn't even wanted to ask about the pilot, and she sure as hell wasn't going to mention EDI.

"Joker is former Alliance. We are willing to grant amnesty to any member that chose to leave the Alliance to work with Cerberus. That goes for Dr. Chakwas, Mess Sergeant Gardner, and anyone else currently serving on the Normandy," he told her.

"I'm down over half my crew now. What am I supposed to do about that?"

He handed her a dossier. Briefly she glanced at the name on the label. James Vega.

"He's a good marine," Anderson said when she raised an eyebrow. "As a spectre you have the choice of who you want to recruit to fill the rest of the slots, so long as it isn't anyone we've already discussed here." He patted the large stack of files belonging to the crew members that didn't make the cut.

Shepard leaned back in her chair and gazed out at the presidium. How was she going to tell her crew about this? Slowly, she rose to go.

"There…there's one more thing Shepard." Anderson said.

Now what? Could things possibly get any worse than they already were?

"The Alliance wants one of their own aboard the Normandy, someone they felt they could trust."

At that moment the door to his office hissed open. Shepard twisted around and felt her blood boil to the surface. She'd been wrong, things just got much worse.

"Commander," Kaidan Alenko nodded. He shifted into the 'at ease' stance and looked at Anderson. "Reporting for duty Councilor."