A/N: Greetings, everyone! It's been a while...okay, a LONG LONG time! Aside from working on another ME story, I've also recently published a book. The whole book thing has absorbed a lot of my time and energy lately. It'll be good to just focus on my two Mass Effect stories now.
The more I thought about what I wanted to accomplish for this chapter, the more I came to realize that it really needed to be a standalone piece. Hence the reason it's so short. I want to start moving on with more of the storyline after this. There have been a lot of developments with ME3 and they've all given me great ideas on how to incorporate them with this story. So it's going to start getting exciting.
This chapter is dedicated to dannybates, whose support and gentle nudging kept me going.
If you like what you're reading, please tell me! Reviews would really help me to stay focused right now ;)
~J
"Give me something strong, Rupert," Shepard moaned and she leaned her elbows on the counter and placed her head in her hands. "I'm going to need it."
"Hair of the dog?" the mess sergeant asked with a smile.
"No. No more drinking." Slowly she began to knead her temples with the tips of her fingers. "Ever," she added under her breath.
He laughed. "Coffee it is then."
While Gardner brewed a fresh pot of coffee, Shepard wandered over to the table and dropped awkwardly into one of the seats. They had stayed up entirely too late, the three of them, and had of course drank way too much. But she had been reluctant to call it a night because she knew that after this morning she wouldn't see Kelly for a long time, if at all, and part of her had thought that if they just kept going, she could prevent the next day from dawning and keep everything how it was at that moment.
She was certainly no stranger to hangovers, but this particular one was made worse by the fact that she was supposed to meet Kaidan in the bridge in fifteen minutes, and that would have been difficult even on a good day when she wasn't fighting a massive headache brought on by a night of binge drinking.
Gardner set a steaming cup of coffee down in front of her, winked, and left her to it. She sat forward and slid her hands around the hot mug, reveling in the warm comfort it brought her. It was going to take a lot more than coffee to get her used to the idea of having Alenko onboard again. She didn't usually let personal feelings get in the way of her ability to command, but she was worried that the animosity between her, Kaidan, and Garrus would be obvious to the rest of the crew.
"Staff-Commander Alenko is waiting for you in the debriefing room," EDI informed her.
Kelly must have still been passed out on the floor of Kasumi's room, Shepard thought. Letting out a groan that really had nothing to do with her headache, she reluctantly rose to her feet and thanked the AI before going to the elevator and pressing the button to the CIC.
His back was to her when she walked in and so she was afforded a moment to observe him without his knowing. It had been the first time she'd really had a chance to look at him closely since Horizon. The familiar lines that made his body irresistible two years ago were still there, and despite her best efforts, she couldn't help the twinge in her stomach when she thought of what they'd shared. And what he'd lost, she reminded herself. She had Garrus now.
He turned when he heard her enter the room. He looked older. It wasn't necessarily that he was showing his age – hell, he was only two years older than she was. But there was a maturity in his eyes that she hadn't seen before, and she realized with a sudden sadness that surprised her, that Kaidan had been forced to grow up during her absence. She quickly tried to suppress the guilt she felt over dying.
Even his face had changed. Gone was the eagerness and enthusiasm of a soldier ready to experience new things in the name of the galaxy, replaced instead by the hardness of a man who'd been through more than he'd expected to in such a short amount of time. His once soft features now bore a harshness to them, reflected especially in his eyes, and he had five o'clock shadow just faint enough to be within military regulations. His brown eyes flashed with cold civility as he placed his hands behind his back and faced her.
"Commander."
Or, maybe she had misinterpreted what had made him so hardened. Maybe it was just her.
"Alenko," she returned coolly.
A long moment of awkward silence passed between them as they regarded each other. Never before had Shepard felt so uncomfortable. What was she supposed to say to him? I'm glad you broke my heart and insulted Garrus by insinuating that I was too good for him. Welcome aboard! Please, make yourself at home. Yeah, she didn't think so.
God, how did she get herself into this mess? The last thing she needed was drama around the ship.
"Well, seeing as this is unavoidable," she slowly began, "we might as well try to get along. There are a couple areas around the ship that are empty; the starboard observatory and life support, just to name a few. Why don't you choose one and get settled in. Afterward, EDI can give you a tour of the Normandy."
"There are a couple of things I'd like to discuss with you," he said.
I'll bet there are, she thought darkly. "I need to take care of some other things first." Other things like not being here at the moment. "We'll take later Alenko."
She didn't give him a chance to argue or demand otherwise. She quickly turned on her heel and was out the door before he even opened his mouth.
XXX
Everything around her was quiet; the Normandy felt empty. The Normandy was empty, Shepard reminded herself. It has been one of the hardest days of her life, saying goodbye to the crew members that had been through hell and back for her. It felt more like losing family than people she served with. The CIC felt especially lonely without Kelly's perky chatter filling the room. As much as she hated the constant reminders that she had new messages, she knew that she was going to miss them.
A great sadness settled over her shoulders. She would move on and prevail in her mission against the reapers, but at the moment she just felt like everything was against her. Normally she wouldn't allow herself to wallow in self-pity. It made her weak, distracted her from the tasks at hand. But she had been dealt blow after blow and right now she was having a hard time recovering from everything that had been thrown at her. It was hard not to feel a sense of hopelessness.
Of course, in her usual 'commander' fashion, she kept her feelings to herself so that the crew wouldn't know that anything out of the ordinary was going on, aside from the rather obvious changes that had taken place during the past twenty-four hours. There was no sense in them knowing what was going on in her head. Adapt and overcome. That would be her new motto.
"Hi Shep," Kasumi greeted.
Shepard jumped. She hadn't even heard her come into the CIC. Sometimes the thief's cloaking ability had her at a great disadvantage. She turned away from her private terminal and tried not to appear too startled.
"Hey, Kasumi. What's up?"
"Oh, nothing much," she shrugged. "Just felt like going for a walk."
"I see," Shepard said with a sly smile. The small woman had been asleep for most of the day, no doubt trying to shake off the effects of last night. "Have you met Staff-Commander Alenko yet?"
"Mmmhmm. He's quite a looker. Might just give Jacob a run for his money, if you know what I mean."
She winked and Shepard just shook her head.
"How's he settling in?"
She'd been rather short with him earlier in the debriefing room and hadn't been able to bring herself to go down and see how he was doing yet. Other than Kelly, Kasumi was the one person on the ship who liked to keep track of what was going on around the ship, and if anyone knew about Kaidan, it would be her.
"He seems to be adjusting just fine. I think he's almost completely moved in to Miranda's office."
"What?"
"What?" Kasumi blinked. "I-is that not okay?"
"No…I mean yea–" She stopped and sighed. "Thanks for telling me." Then she rushed for the elevator, leaving Kasumi staring after her in a state of confusion.
Kaidan was sitting behind Miranda's desk like he owned it when she burst through the doors. The fact that he remained utterly calm as he looked up at her expectantly only served to irritate her more.
"Just what, may I ask, are you doing in here?" she demanded with her hands folded across her chest.
He slid the book he had been holding when she came in back on the shelf with the others on the desk and sat back. "My job," he replied.
"You can do 'your job' from somewhere else. This office is reserved for the XO of the Normandy."
"I know. Which reminds me; when you said that EDI would show me around, I was expecting a person. I was not expecting an illegal AI. Are you crazy Shepard?"
For a moment she was too stunned to speak. Then it was quickly replaced by anger.
"I will not stand here and be criticized on my own ship. Especially by someone who hasn't been here! What EDI is doing here and what her purpose is is strictly need-to-know." That's all she needed was for him to report EDI's presence to the Alliance.
Kaidan leaned forward and put his hands on the top of the desk. "As the Executive Officer on this ship, I am on a need-to-know basis."
"What?" She must have misheard him.
"Part of the agreement between the council and the Alliance was to promote me to XO. As the liaison for the Alliance, my duties include to sending them reports on the conduct of you and the crew."
"So, Anderson just sent you here to babysit me?" she flared, white-hot rage flooding through her veins.
"The Council felt that they needed a better understanding of what is it that you're doing," he replied in an even voice.
"Kaidan, goddamn it! You know me! You've fought alongside me; you know what we're up against!"
He stood, finally allowing some emotion into his voice. "No! I used to know you. But you've changed, Shepard. First Cerberus and now destroying a mass relay? You're not the same person who had the galaxy's best interests at heart. I don't know what you've become."
"Get off your self-righteous high horse, Kaidan and open your eyes! Don't you realize that it was destroying that relay or the end of life as we know it? God, I thought you were own our side!"
"What do you plan on doing next," he continued, "selling us out to the turians? You already seem pretty cozy with them."
"How dare you!" she spat. She bridged the gap between them and brought her face within inches of his. "I don't care if the Alliance has a partial interest or not, this is still my ship and I will not be talked to that way! You will fall in line, and you will follow orders. Is that understood?"
His gazed dropped to her neck and he sneered at the purplish bite that peeked out from beneath her collar. "Yes ma'am."
A/N: Okay, so Shepard and Kaidan's feeling are kinda on the table right now. Shepard didn't want drama, but she's going to get it! Coming up next: the trial! (And I promise I won't take 3 1/2 months to update this time!)